Chapter Fifteen

For some reason, Buffy had trouble sleeping that night. She awoke several times and poked her head out the door of the guest bedroom, wondering if she had dreamed about the skank named Harmony, coming to stay in the apartment. Alas, her hopes were dashed when she saw the fake-blonde girl lying on the couch. What a pity, Buffy thought before climbing back in bed and continuing to turn from side to side in an attempt to get comfortable. She was also sure it didn't help that she wasn't in her own bed. She missed her bed with its Egyptian cotton sheets and fabric-softener scent. She also missed her apartment, where she could find anything she needed and could walk around in her underwear if she chose to. She was sure Spike wouldn't mind if she decided on the strutting-about-the-house-in-only-underwear route at his apartment either. She didn't think she'd ever be that comfortable here though; and especially now with stupid "Harm" in just the other room.

Buffy usually got along well with others. She had never taken such a strong dislike to anyone before, except maybe her father, and never someone she had just met. Buffy considered herself an easy-to-get-along-with sort of gal, so why was this girl evoking so much anger within her? Besides the fact that Harmony was rude and obnoxious and really didn't belong in the apartment was enough, she supposed. But the fact that Spike had just let her stay no questions asked, seemed to make her more upset than anything, which she didn't understand. After all, it was Spike's apartment and he could invite whomever he chose to live with him. He could invite an entire sorority of blonde bimbos if he wanted to and she should really have no problem with it because it was none of her business. She was simply a guest and it wasn't as if she was paying to stay here. Yet, even as Buffy was mentally explaining this to herself, she didn't really buy it. She felt like more than just a guest. She was even on the verge of admitting that she might be somewhat jealous of Harmony, but she came to her senses and decided that that idea was utterly preposterous.

When it was finally 7:00, Buffy decided she would get up and have some breakfast. She tiptoed into the kitchen, careful not to make too much noise and wake up Spike. It was still pretty dark though and she almost tripped on an object in the middle of the hallway.

"What the hell?" Buffy whispered to herself as she stumbled slightly. Looking down, she realized that it was one of the pink bags Harmony had brought into the apartment last night. She put her hands to the small tag that was attached to it. It read: Harmony Kendall. Stay the hell out. What a bitch, Buffy thought angrily and kicked the bag out of the way, causing her foot a great deal of pain in the process. She rounded the corner into the kitchen and crashed right into a hard object making a small "oomph" noise with contact.

"Buffy? You alright love? Sorry 'bout that. I didn't see you there and I didn't want to turn on the light and risk waking up Harm," Spike said apologetically.

"Oh. How sweet of you not wanting to wake up Harm," Buffy retorted.

Spike instantly caught the bitter sarcasm in her tone.

"What's the matter love?"

"Don't call me love," She answered back as she went and pulled a box of cereal out of one of the cabinets.

"I thought we were past this. What's the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me? Absolutely nothing is the matter with me, Spikey. It's just that while you were trying to be considerate in not waking up the sleeping skank, I almost tripped and fell on my face."

"So you're angry with me because I didn't turn on the light? I'm sorry Buffy. I really didn't know you'd be up at this hour. The only reason I was is because I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night."

"And I'm sure Harmony had something to do with that. Honestly Spike, you don't have to cover up sleeping with her. I don't really care either way."

"So that's what this is about? I'm not sleeping with her. And even if I was, it would be none of your business. But seeing as the very idea has got your panties in a bunch, I'm guessing your jealous Summers."

"Jealous! Ha! You wish, Spike. Like I could ever be jealous of that tramp."

"You don't know anything about her."

"I heard what she whispered to you last night. It seemed like a pretty tramp-like thing to say. I don't know girls who just offer a guy sex when they've just broken up with their boyfriend, but maybe I'm mistaken. Either way, the matter doesn't concern me. You can sleep with whomever you chose."

"Well, thanks a whole bunch for your permission, Buffy. I just might take her up on that offer now that you so kindly expressed your feelings on the matter."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Buffy hadn't realized how close they had gotten since they started arguing. Now, merely inches away from each other, the room seemed to have shrunk in size and Buffy realized that her breathing was more ragged now because of the argument, among other things. Spike was glaring at her angrily, but taking in her appearance, his angry thoughts began to dissipate, replaced by the same naughty thoughts that Buffy tried to suppress as often as possible. She was wearing a light-blue tanktop and pajama shorts. Much of her skin was exposed and Spike couldn't stop starting. He noticed that she had started backing up.

"What's the matter pet? You afraid of being to close to me?"

"I'm not afraid of you at all Spike."

"Really? Because it seems like every time I take a step forward…" He took one step towards her and she took another step back. "…you step back. Maybe you're not afraid of me, but you're afraid of something Buffy. Maybe you're afraid of your feelings for me."

Damn. He read body movement too well. And he knew her too well. She wished she had never come into the kitchen at all. Why hadn't she just stayed in bed?

"Get over yourself, Spike. There are no feelings."

"No feelings?" he asked disbelievingly as he moved closer, so that the only thing separating them was a hand she put to his chest, trying to push him away. "Are you sure, Buffy?"

She wished he wouldn't use her name anymore. At first, she had hated him calling her pet names, but now she wanted him to go back to that. It felt less personal. When he said her real name, he said it with more feeling. Too much feeling, actually. She didn't like it. Or, she didn't want to like it. He suddenly brought his hand to cover the hand that was no longer pushing, but resting on his chest. As he held it there, he leaned down slowly to kiss her. Buffy knew that the smart thing would be to push him away and get out of the room as soon as possible, but though her brain insisted upon this action, her body was having none of it. She stood still and let him move his face closer and closer to hers. Just before their lips met, a loud crash from the other room knocked Buffy out of her daze and she pushed Spike so hard, he stumbled back slightly.

"What was that?" she asked.

Just then Harmony strolled into the kitchen.

"Morning Spikey. You didn't care for that ugly green lamp much, did you?" she asked sweetly.

"No, Harm. It's alright," Spike answered and watched Buffy leave the kitchen, go into the guest room, and slam the door shut."

Harmony wasn't fazed by this, however. She continued to bat her lashes at Spike and grabbed the bowl of cereal that Buffy had poured for herself. She started eating it and cringed at the flavor.

"Jeez, Spike. When did you start eating healthy cereals? Ew!" Harmony asked before spitting it out in the sink.

"It's Buffy's," Spike replied.

"Buffy is such a stupid name. I think you should get rid of her and we should start dating again. Come on, Spikey. We had so much fun together. Don't you remember?"

"I'm sorry Harm. I can't get rid of her."

"Why not?" Harmony whined.

"I'm in love with her."

"Ew. Why? She's not even pretty."

"She's unlike any woman I've ever met. She has this strength in her that-"

"Whatever, Spike. I really don't need the details. I have to go shopping and I think I broke a nail on that stupid lamp. See you later Blondie Bear.

With that, Harmony left. Spike hardly noticed, though. He was too busy thinking about Buffy's jealousy. If she only knew how much he wanted her. He was pretty sure there wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for her if she asked him. It was a good thing that she didn't know how much power she had over him. Then again, he didn't think Buffy would use it. She was too kind and good. Harmony would have him buying her diamonds in a second, but Buffy didn't seem to care about those things. She did care for him though. That he knew for sure, even if she would never admit it. He drew out his phone and dialed Harmony's cell.

"Blondie Bear. I knew you'd see reason. I-"

"I'm sorry Harm, but I want you out of my apartment. It's over between us. It's been over for a very long time, understand?"

Buffy was taken off guard when Spike threw her door open. She didn't even have time to react before he had crossed the room, taken hold of her waist, pulled her to him, and kissed her more passionately than any other man had ever.

"I love you." He stated with no doubt in his voice. It was filled with decision, in fact. As if to confirm he continued, "I have never felt more certain about anything in my entire life. I've told you before, but I want you to know how I feel. I want you to know that I'm serious. I love you, Buffy. Peaches could never have loved you the way I do. I want to be with you more than anything, if you let me. If you don't want me, I will leave you alone Buffy. But I think you do. Please tell me I'm right."

Buffy didn't know what to say. She was watching Spike plead with shock on her face and confusion in her mind. She had just broken it off with Angel. Would it be right to just start dating Spike? She couldn't think with Spike looking at her the way he was. She couldn't even breathe for that matter, so she did what she always did. She brushed him off.

"I'm sorry Spike. I don't want you. I don't love you. I'm sorry."

Liar, her mind called her. Why don't you be honest with yourself for once? She had told him those same words a million time before, but she had never seen such hurt in his face. Instantly, she knew she had made a mistake, but she couldn't seem to find the words to fix it. But before she could say anything else, he had walked out of the room, walked out of the apartment and walked out of her life.

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered as the tears formed in her eyes, but whether it was directed to the long-gone Spike or herself, she didn't know.