Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! They belong to and also this chapter has mention of concepts from the movie Jumper(2008) from 20th Century Fox and Regency Enterprises

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The tittle says exactly how it is and I know I'm nuts you don't have to tell me that. This chapter will probably get a lot of flames or criticisms but this is a fanfic and my mind says to write it…or else…*shudders* R&R Please

Chapter 4: Bella My Love, You Had a Wife and A Daughter?!!

EPOV

I couldn't think in order for once in my life. When she revealed that she had amnesia when she met me – but didn't know it then…and now that she regained her memory, I couldn't wait to unravel and learn more about my love's life. I have always strive for information about her, every miniscule detail I have acquired from observing her are all forever etched into my mind. And every time she does some thing out of the norm, I couldn't figure out as to why she done it. All my observations were never able to back up her actions. I came to think that perhaps even if I can read her mind, I still wouldn't be able to truly solve the mystery that is my beloved Bella.

Bella's eagerness to eternal damnation is…daunting. When she explained what she called her "selfish" reasons, I almost faltered. But I remained adamant on my choice in the end. Even if what she says is true about my soul, I still do not wish for her to regret her decision later on when it is too late. I witnessed Rosalie's bitter attitude towards what she is and I do not want that for my love.

I found that she plays many instruments including the piano like me. I feel like there's an added connection to us now. She composes too; she knows the joy of making music about anything that is dear to us. She understands the strong emotions that I wish to convey when I play her lullaby. I noticed that during our trip to and from my house that she also seems to enjoy speed now so I can't wait to see what her car is like. I also want to see her house that Charlie mentioned. And Charlie…I won't need to hide myself when I'm in Bella's room at an ungodly hour of the night or day.

She also told me her insecurities. How I wouldn't want her anymore when I find out everything about her or how I would find her repulsive and will end up running away from her. As if that will ever happen. She is my life and I will accept everything about her. She told me she doesn't let others walk all over her. She said she is a very good lie detector and will be willing to…partake in the lies if someone is trying her patience. She admitted to all that but said so in a...less refined vocabulary. Her "French", as I learned, is quite…remarkable and I never thought I'd be hearing them coming from her mouth. True, I am not pleased about those traits in her but I still love her and perhaps I can curb her language down a notch or two…I hope.

When I found the things inside the cabinet and the packet, I think my mind went into shock. The rough persona I can deal with but when she jeopardizes with her health, I have to intervene. And when I came to, I yelled demanding her to explain not caring that Charlie heard me. In fact in his mind, he thought 'Good luck with that conversation.' He tried to sleep again after that. Obviously he doesn't approve either but he accepts that Bella can make her own decisions and had been doing so most of her life.

Now here I am waiting for an explanation from her

"I'm not an avid smoker and drinker. They don't affect me in a negative way as in health wise and that addictive pull doesn't happen to me that's why I haven't smoked or drink during the time you've known me. So don't worry it wont kill me anytime soon."

"If there's no allure then why do you do it? And how does it not affect your health? It's impossible."

"It doesn't affect me due to my chemical makeup…let's leave it at that for now. I've been smoking and drinking for a…very long time and I'm healthy as a horse. And even if there's no appeal, the perks are there."

"But why do you need the high? Is there a problem you don't want to talk about, we can get help for that." I said, already thinking of hiring the best therapist I can find.

She sighs and run her hands through her hair; I notice she got that habit from me. "Memories and that cause nightmares sometimes…most of the time" she said nervously

"Oh, I see." I do not know how to approach this, talking would help but clearly she's not ready.

"Edward…I…there's…it's…"she closes her eyes in frustration

"Its okay love, you don't have to say anything until your ready."

"No, I want to say something it's just hard to voice it. Ok, I have never been really a kid, my mind have been an adult since I was four, don't ask how because I'm not ready yet. And all my life I have not been open with people not even family. My heart has been closed off, sealed tight and froze over for a long time." she look at me trying to gauge my reaction.

"Continue please…" This is certainly interesting and I can only guess it's going to turn depressing so I mentally prepare myself.

"I said we have to redo every conversation we had, now we are going to do one question you asked when we started being together. You asked if I have been with anyone before and I said no because my memory was incomplete then."

"So there was someone?" The feeling of dread and jealousy rise up in me. I know I'm being a bit irrational right now since this has been in her past and obviously left a terrible memory but I can't help wonder if she will leave me for someone deserving of her.

"I suppose you could say that. It really wasn't conventional but it worked somehow. This person I met when I was ten years old, I didn't realize what was happening then. But when I was nearing my twelve year I understood it completely. This person had slowly torn the defenses around my heart. There was a part of me that resented that person for awhile for doing that to me and a large part of me was…is thankful. That person taught me what my heart was…is capable of. If it wasn't for that person, I probably wouldn't have ended up here or even if I did my cold heart wouldn't have allowed me in loving you irrevocably."

I gasped. I think I'm going to be doing that a lot around Bella nowadays. This person had helped my love so much, I have to meet and thank him sometime. I don't know how this memory pains her so…is she regretting opening her heart...her feelings for me? If my heart is working, I would be suffering a coronary right now.

"This person, you still feel for him?" I ask afraid of the answer

"You look like you're in great pain right now, more than I am, Edward. There is no reason for it. Anyway Vivian passed away a month before my seventeenth birthday. It was a…messy death that keeps giving me pleasant dreams that turns into nightmares in the end." she said sorrowfully

"Oh, love. I'm sorry…I'm sorry." I hug her close to me and stroke her back trying to make her feel even slightly better.

"It's okay Edward, it's in the past now. I have grieved for her."

I stiffened realizing something. Vivian…that's a female name and Bella said her so it's definitely a woman. I thought…umm I never thought I'd be asking this to her. "If you don't mind me asking love, did you…what was…umm" For once I am speechless.

Bella sighed almost amusingly. "Yes, she was a woman Edward. In fact she was five years my senior. If I was romantically involved with her you're wondering right?" I nodded unable to make my voice work and if I can blush my face would resemble a tomato. "That was complicated. She was in love with me and I love her…differently, I was protective of her but she said it was enough for her. Do not doubt my love for you Edward. You are the apple of my eye, my everything, the air I breathe…ok fuck, this comparison thing isn't working for me. My life would be fucked over without you. I can't live without you Edward don't forget that."

I nod my head again. I believe her, this is just an…interesting aspect of Bella I never thought I'd face and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. "So…she was your…girlfriend?"

Bella fidgets. I guess I'm not the only one feeling uncomfortable right now.

"For awhile yes. Vivian was a very complex woman. She was a bit like Alice that she is energetic and loves to shop though not obsessive. She was like Rosalie too minus the conceitedness; she had a very strong personality. She didn't want me paying expensive things for her although she was very well-off so it really didn't matter. I just wanted to thank her for all the things she'd done for me and she wouldn't let me. I think I retained that attitude from her when I had my amnesia."

"She sounds wonderful; I wish to pay respect to her one day." I really do, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have found my Bella. And speaking of which, she hasn't answered my question completely. "Are you evading my question love?"

"No. That's just the most complicated part and I was trying to organize my thought. As I said before, I was protective of her but I wasn't in love with her. My heart was open but I did not knew what love was until I met you. See, she said me being with her was enough but I wanted to give her everything I could to make her happy for all the things she'd done for me. I couldn't give her my heart but I knew I can give her something else, something she desperately wanted. She knew that one day I will find my soul mate due to Viviella's gift but she didn't care, she wanted what she could get at the time and I gave it to her."

Ok, another person is introduced. I feel like I'm in a soap opera right now. "Who's Viviella and what gift does she have? And what did you gave Vivian?"

"Daughter." and there goes my mind. I wonder if my beloved loves to drop these bombs of information on me that makes my brain stop working. "She's like cupid except she doesn't shoot people in their ass with pointy arrows. For a seven year old, she's better at her "job" than cupid, I would think. I don't see her much since she's always busy and due to the fact she can appear or rather jumps anywhere she wants to at any given time. So I've put a world wide tracker on her so I know where to look for her. She's the one that talk to me and gave me the idea that Renee needed her alone time with Phil."

I am confused. "Can you explain that to me please? She's able to teleport and she…set people up? "

"She knows everyone's soul mate, so yes you have a soul. Her gift is very complex and powerful in its own right. She doesn't just help everyone she sees though. She searches for people that will make a positive impact on the world in the future based on if they find their soul mate. So she looks for the other half and sets them up, she creates various scenarios for them to meet up so don't ask me how she does her "job"." she did air quotation on jobs and I smile, I guess its self proclaimed and certainly not out in the job market.

I can't believe I have a soul! I have to meet this wonderful daughter of Bella one day.

"And she teleports?"

"If she has a clear picture in her mind of a place, she can jump to that place. And jumpers are a whole different ball game that we don't need to discuss right now."

"Alright then back to Vivian. What did you gave her?"

She smiled and said "A ring." My eyes widened. Apparently bombing and breaking my mind with astronomical information of her life is the utmost importance today. "I proposed to her and we married. I gave her life long dream wedding. It was in Alabama since the youngest marrying age with parental consent is fourteen there so I just had to forge the consent documents. My twelve year old self could barely pass up as fourteen so I had to forge proof of age documents too and birth certificate...the whole nine yards you know."

"You got married when you were twelve?! You forged documents? And that aside how did you two even got married with both of you being the same sex? Legal gay marriages weren't allowed back then." I am completely floored. Bella's past is very much intriguing but I don't think I can handle anymore surprises for the day. Is this why she doesn't want me to rush to marriage? It doesn't matter to me.

"First, people were marrying at that age ages ago, it's just society's views that changed and as I said before my mind has always been an adult. Second, what can I say, I got talent and forging documents are one of them. Don't even judge about that, we both know the Cullen family have tons of forged documents to fit in society. Lastly, believe it or not I can be a convincing male and the birth certificate backed it up 100%. I was practically forced to wear the monkey suit, the dress was prettier. We were planning that if sometime in the future I could wear the dress instead. I guess that would never happen." she smile but it didn't reach her eyes.

"You can still wear the dress except I'll be waiting at the altar this time around. And when the time comes, I will be the one to change you."

"You still want to marry me huh? You know that's not everything. There are still much to unravel in my past." she said getting up and heading for her closet.

"I told you I won't let you go; I won't leave you ever again. Your past wouldn't stop me from loving you. The only way to get rid of me is if you tell me to go. " I wonder if she'll ever stop doubting my love for her. If she did tell me to go, I would go but will linger in the shadows silently protecting her until she leave this world then I will follow.

"And where will I go? What will I do with out you? There is no else for me Edward. No one will accept all of my baggage, no one will ever put up with all my shit of a life. You are the one that can complete my tattered soul, Viviella confirms it. Even if there is someone who will put up with me, they will all end up six feet under like Vivian." she said while sitting back down in front of me holding out a picture for me to take.

"So I guess you're stuck with me then." I grinned, then I look at her confused then I look down at the picture and eyes widened.

"It was taken right after the wedding."

There are six people in the picture, all of them stunningly beautiful. If I didn't know any better, I would mistake them for my kind. And if Bella didn't tell me before, I would believe that the groom is actually male. Even portraying as a young boy, she looks rather stunning. Of course this is my Bella so it's no surprise; I just wish she sees herself clearly.

"Your Vivian was beautiful love just like you." It is strange referring to someone belonging to Bella other than myself. Maybe it's because her spouse was a female…no I'm sure that is not it. She had made it possible for my love to open her heart and for that I am forever grateful.

"Once her soul is reborn, she wouldn't be mine anymore. She would belong to her soul mate; Viviella will make sure of that." she said contently and I nodded.

"You know, knowing that I have a soul is still new and wonderful concept to me. Do you think I can meet Viviella one day? Will she accept me?"

"Of course she will she's the one that set us up. I did found out that she made a promise to Vivian before she died to find you so she tracked you down without me knowing. Viviella will probably be a little miffed at you though."

"Why? What did I do?" I ask wracking my brain for reasons as to why Bella's daughter would be annoyed at me.

"When we met our soul recognized each other and our bond were formed. But then you left me our bond was never broken just really…stretched out. It tore us up. When I remembered my memories, I realized that you lied but my soul was still in pain because you left me on your own choice. When Viviella found out I had regained my memory, she planned to visit me. Her gift is solely and strongly related to soul bounded pairs. So as soon as she came near me or enter within Forks boundary, heartache surged within her so she couldn't come near me. I had to leave Forks for her to visit Charlie instead; he didn't ask any questions as to why I wasn't here."

I don't know what to think. I am horrified that I have caused Bella and someone dear to her such grief and that powerful. I have prevented a wonderful girl from visiting her mother that she doesn't see often. My feelings must be plainly portrayed on my face because Bella smoothened my brows and reassures me.

"She's not angry at you. She understand our situation, in fact when she realized what was wrong she called and informed me that it won't be long for you to come back. Her vision of our relationship became strained so there weren't any details on the how but she could still feel and felt that our soul wouldn't suffer much longer. I said a little miffed because she couldn't help our relationship a second time. She could have tracked you easily but there are…consequences in helping an already strong soul bond even if it is strained. She could tell you more if you're curious."

I nodded satisfied in knowing her daughter doesn't hate me for what I did. Wait…she never clarified. I do not know if I should ask now but I want to know if Viviella is adopted or Vivian's, certainly not Bella's because she would have been eleven when Vivian was born. I decided to just jump the gun. "I understand that Viviella is a mix of both yours and Vivian's name but whose daughter is Viviella? Did you adopted her and changed her name?"

By looking at my love's face, I knew she wasn't counting on me asking the question now. "That is for another time. Please leave it for now?"

"Of course love, when you're ready." I am satisfied for now that I will have answers at some point…

End Chapter 4…TBC…

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