Disclaimer: The characters and universe of Harry Potter are the sole property of J. K. Rowling and her licensees.
Darling Girl
By
Eric Thorsen and Count Stacko
Chapter Three: What it means to be a girl, part I
DG
It was two days after Lilith woke up that Madam Pomfrey finally released her from the hospital wing. Even after two days though, the shock of finding out she had been born a girl, and that her most hated professor was her father, was, as Remus Lupin had put it, "understandably persistent." So, rather than think about it, for the last two days she had been trying to get used to her new body.
She could barely walk straight. Most people took things like that for granted, but with the changes in her body, her center of gravity was different and her body moved differently. Another thing that was difficult for her about having a female body was using the toilet and taking showers. It was a completely new experience for her that embarrassed her several times over. She was constantly walking into the boy's toilets, bolting out when the mirrors would admonish her, and when taking a shower, she sported a full-body blush, even if she avoided looking at her own nude body.
It wasn't all bad though. Shortly after she woke up, Lilith noticed that she didn't need her glasses anymore. Her eyesight was almost perfect. Also, she noticed that the scar that she'd had when she was male was gone. She didn't know why, but she did realize that it would make her life a little easier, not having to explain how Harry Potter was a girl now. It would also help with Professor Dumbledore's plans.
During the last two day, Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, and Lupin had met several times, figuring out what to do with Lilith. There was the question of how much to tell the rest of the Wizarding World, who to let in on the secret of her existence, and even what to do about the disappearance of Harry Potter. After several hours of debate and discussions, they now had a good cover story for when anyone asked why Harry was no longer at Hogwarts. He was in hiding to protect him, and prepare him to fight Voldemort. After that, all they had to figure out was what to do with Lilith, and the reality of her existence provided an ample foundation for their story, only requiring the name of a deceased pureblood witch of the appropriate age to make it believable. After asking Lilith her opinion however, they were surprised with a request to speak to Professor Snape after she was out of the hospital wing before making any decisions.
DG
Lilith twitched uncomfortably at the skirt that Madame Pomfrey had given her to dress in after releasing her from her care. It wasn't any different from the uniform she had seen many of the Hogwarts girls wearing, but she was still uncomfortable wearing it. Now she sat in the room of requirement, which was currently configured as a muggle sitting room, and tried to sit like she remembered her female friends and classmates sitting, doing her best to act like the girl she appeared to be. She was so absorbed in her thoughts she jumped when there was a knock at the door and Professor Snape entered the room.
"Profes… Fath…" Lilith flushed, confused as to how she should start.
"Lilith, you may call me Father if you wish, little though I have done to earn the title." Professor Snape said, sitting uncomfortably in the chair across the small table from the girl that reminded him of the wife he had wrong so many years before. Lilith nodded and visibly shook herself, ordering her thoughts.
"Father, then... I wanted to talk to you about what we should do about my story and my education. We both know that we will have to adjust to our relationship, such as it is. I had some thoughts that will make it possible for us to explain why we are uncomfortable with each other."
"Indeed." Snape raised an eyebrow, surprised by the seriousness his daughter was displaying. This girl was vastly different from the impetuous boy who he thought he knew.
"Yes. My first idea was that you didn't know about our relationship because my mother had hidden me from you because of your ties to Voldemort."
"That is a workable notion, if it is rather bare of details. It also has the strength of being the truth as far as it goes." Lilith flushed slightly, but continued.
"I was thinking that, if we can find one that will work, a muggleborn, or a half-blood would be the best choice, since everyone in the pureblood community knows each other, or at least seems to. My mother has kept me hidden until she died recently, and then sent me to Professor Dumbledore to keep me safe. Since we've been in hiding so long, she didn't know that you were a professor here."
"This is all well and good child, but what of your friends, your education?"
"My education is pretty simple. I keep going to Hogwarts."
"And stay in Gryffindor? It would bring unwanted attention to you if you were simply to continue there as if nothing had changed."
"So some things will change. I was going to have to choose a course to replace Divination anyway. Madame Pomfrey says that I was born almost two months premature according to my magical medical records, so I should actually be a fifth year, so what I was thinking is that we can introduce me as your daughter at the Welcoming Feast and have me sorted into fifth year."
"It would still bring attention to you if you were sorted, as my daughter, into Gryffindor."
"So I'll just let the hat sort me where it wanted to this time." At Snape's questioning glare, she grinned. "You should really talk to Draco Malfoy, father, he drives more first-years away from Slytherin than any amount of parental bias could account for. The hat wanted to sort me into Slytherin in my first year, but after meeting him in Diagon Alley, and on the train, there was no way I was going to let it put me in his house, so it put me in its second choice. I wonder how often that has happened." Snape looked startled at this revelation, and Lilith was surprised to hear herself giggling like any normal girl her age. Clearing her throat in embarrassment, Lilith sighed. "As to my friends, Ginny and Hermione shouldn't be a problem. Neither of them would reveal anything I asked them to keep a secret, as long as I let them know why it needed to be secret."
"And Mister Weasley?"
"Ron couldn't keep this secret to save his own life, let alone mine. Ginny and Hermione might be uncomfortable keeping it from him, but I don't think it should be too much of a problem for them. Luna and Neville are even less likely to reveal my secrets."
"Mister Longbottom? I hadn't thought that you were that close." Snape looked like the very idea that Lilith was friendly with Neville filled him with revulsion.
"Neville and I have… had a lot in common Father. If you actually gave him a chance you would be surprised at what he is capable of."
"Be that as it may, I think we have covered everything necessary to establish your new identity. I will inform the Headmaster of your suggestions, as well as your notion of bringing some of your friends in on the secret of your change. Had you decided which classes you will be taking if he approves of your plan?"
"I was thinking that I would take Charms, Transfigurations, History of Magic, Astronomy, Potions, and Defense, of course. For electives, I thought Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. Ginny and Luna are both taking those, and I thought they, and Hermione could help me get caught up with where I should be."
"A reasonable selection of classes, suitable for a girl of proper breeding," Snape accepted with a nod of his head. Lilith couldn't hide the smirk that this comment provoked.
"Of course, Father. I am, after all, a girl of proper breeding, as anyone who looks at me can see." Snape chuckled at the barbed comment, nodding in acceptance, and leaving her alone in room. Moments after he left, she slumped back in her chair, shaking slightly. "I only hope I can pull this off without giving anything away. I just got a father. I don't want to lose him too." Lilith's dark thought stayed with her for several hours before she could calm herself enough to leave the room of requirement in search of something to eat.
DG
"Ah, Severus, how did your meeting with Lilith go?" Dumbledore ignored the sneer Professor Snape gave the overly cheerful greeting of the Headmaster, and acknowledged the other Heads, as well as Madame Pomfrey, who were waiting for him, ignoring Remus Lupin's presence. "As you are aware, Severus, I have chosen to keep the reality of the change in Mister Potter's identity limited to the heads of the four houses, as well as Remus and Poppy of course. I have already explained to them what we now know about the circumstances of his birth, as well as what has occurred this summer. Was there anything that you wished to add that I may not have covered, before we discuss this coming year?"
"Yes, Headmaster, there were two items which need to be discussed from suggestions that arose in my discussion with Lilith this afternoon." Dumbledore nodded in acceptance and motioned for Snape to continue. "Firstly, I must insist that from now on we all refer to her as Lilith, or Miss Snape in our discussions here and in the future." Snape raised his hand to forestall objections from Lupin and McGonagall. "This is not an attempt to deny the father she thought she had, but rather to protect her from any slips which might occur if any of us were to forget ourselves in the presence of those who are not aware of the secret. She is Lilith Andromeda Amaranthys Snape, regardless of the name she was known by prior to our becoming aware of Lily's secret, and we must all remember this if we are to protect her from the Dark Lord." Everyone in the room nodded their understanding of Snape's point.
"Secondly, Lilith has offered two suggestions regarding others who should be made aware of her secret, in order to assist her in her transition and with her preparations for the coming year. Specifically, she has asked that Hermione Granger, Ginevra Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and Neville Longbottom be included. After hearing her reasoning, I must say that I am forced to agree that these students will be helpful to her in the coming months."
"What about Ronald Weasley?" McGonagall ask, surprised at the omission. "Surely if she has requested Miss Lovegood and Mister Longbottom, she would want both of the friends that have stood with her in her many adventures."
"Lilith felt, and I must agree, that Mister Weasley would pose an unnecessary risk to Lilith's safety if he were to be informed of the changes that have taken place. Her exact words were that Mister Weasley "couldn't keep this secret to save his own life." While I feel that she might be doing Mister Weasley something of an injustice, I also feel that it is Lilith's right to exclude him if she does not feel comfortable with his being made aware of such a personal matter. It is her life and safety we are discussing after all."
"After Mister Weasley's behavior at the beginning of the Triwizard Tournament, I can hardly blame her for her concern," Professor Sprout commented, surprising many of her colleagues. "Oh honestly, the boy allowed jealousy to separate him from a friend who had proven he would do anything for him, up to and including saving the life of his younger sister. I was surprised when Mister Potter forgave him so quickly. If Miss Snape doesn't want to worry about what jealousy or the Weasley boy's reaction to who her father is, I say that it is about time."
"Really Pomona, I am surprised at you," Professor Dumbledore looked at the head of Hufflepuff in disapproval. "Surely Mister Weasley deserved a second chance."
"Yes, but there are limits to forgiveness, Albus. Honestly, the boy needs a wakeup call. He only passed many of his classes because of the help of his friends. Perhaps this will be an opportunity for young Ronald to learn to stand on his own feet. Loyalty and hard work should not be exclusive to my house.
"Yes, of course, apologies, Pomona, it was just that you are seldom so vehement." Sprout acknowledged Dumbledore's apology and sat back in her seat. "Very well then, did Miss Snape have any other suggestions?"
"As she made me aware, if she had not been born two months premature, Lilith would have been entering her fifth year rather than her sixth in September. As such, she has suggested that, in order to hide her origins further, she join the fifth-years as a transfer student. This is an excellent notion, especially as it will render unnecessary the difficulties involved in producing a set of OWL scores that would not connect her to Mister Potter. She has also suggested that she be resorted with the first-years at the welcoming feast, as any other transfer student would be. These two steps, as well as her change in appearance should go a long way in hiding any connections to her previous life."
"Are you sure that is wise, Severus?" Remus asked with a touch of uncertainty in his voice. "Won't it cause comment amongst your peers if your daughter were sorted into Gryffindor?"
"As she has also suggested that we present our true relationship, that of father and daughter who were not previously aware of our connection, to the world before this sorting, if she is then sorted into her current house it can be put down to her upbringing and left at that. My peers, as well as the Dark Lord will accept that I could do little to influence her upbringing, being aware of her existence for such a short time."
"A well thought out strategy, Severus," Snape nodded to Professor Flitwick, who was toying lightly with his beard. "Has she decided which courses she will be taking?"
"She has chosen to take Ancient Runes and Arithmancy as her electives, rather than her previous choices. This will further distance her from her past and better prepare her for a useful career. She will be taking, of course, the core courses as well. Lilith has also requested that the Misses Granger, Weasley, and Lovegood be invited to assist her in preparing to take her place in the fourth year classes as soon as possible." The other professors nodded in agreement with this idea and the meeting broke up to continue the work the meeting had interrupted.
DG
Hermione Granger sighed in pleasure as she felt the heat of the sun seep into the skin of her back. Glancing to her left, she smiled at the peaceful expression on Ginny Weasley's face as the red head lay on the poolside chaise beside her. It had surprised Hermione and the Weasley's when her parents had offered to take Ginny along on their annual vacation trip, but the two girls were enjoying the trip to a beach resort in Majorca more than they had imagined. Of course, it had taken three days for Hermione to convince her younger friend that it was all right for them to sit by the public pool in the swimwear Mrs. Granger had bought. Their matching bikinis, emerald green for Ginny and basic black for Hermione, were much more revealing than the Victorian bathing costume that Molly Weasley had packed for her daughter, but after that first day, Ginny had buried the black monstrosity in the bottom of her trunk. She would have burnt it if she didn't know that her mother would ask about it when she got home.
Both girls had finished their summer homework in the two weeks leading up to the trip, so they felt they deserved to relax and rebuild their energy for the next school year. Of course, they could only spend so much time lying next to the pool. The two young witches had spent a day each on visits to La Seu Cathedral and Bellver Castle. The local markets had amazed Ginny with the colorful umbrellas over the stalls and the different wares that were available. Today, they had decided to lay beside the pool and work on achieving a tan that would be the envy of everyone at Hogwarts. Hermione smirked to herself as she thought about this and then turned when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.
An Eagle owl, only seen in falconer's mews in the islands, was flying toward her, rather obviously carrying a letter. Quickly glancing around, Hermione walked over to one of the shade trees, hoping the owl would take the hint and land there, where it would at least be hidden. The owl cooperated, landing and extending its leg toward her. Hermione glanced at Ginny, and noticed that the other girl wasn't even looking at her. Shaking her head, Hermione reached for the letter. The owl watched her carefully, then tucked its head beneath its wing and went to sleep. Hermione shrugged and carried the letter back to her chaise.
"What does the letter say," Ginny asked as Hermione sat down.
"Let me read it and I will tell you." Ginny turned over and looked at Hermione expectantly. With a grin, Hermione opened the letter. The grin soon left her face.
Dear Ms. Granger and Ms. Weasley,
I hope this missive finds the both of you well. I am writing to you on behalf of someone dear to all of us. Due to a rather unusual set of circumstances, I find I must request your help for this person. As such I must ask that you, if you are willing, cut your travels short and return to school as soon as possible.
To reassure you, our dear one is well, though changed. Any further explanation will have to wait until you have returned safely. All that can be said is that there is a new student with special circumstances has requested your help. When you arrive, you will be met by one of your previous Defense professors who will guide you to the quarters you will occupy during your stay.
Hoping to see you soon,
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
Headmaster of Hogwarts, Order of Merlin First Class, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards.
DG
Three days later, Hermione and Ginny were standing in front of Dumbledore in his office. After they told their parents, and got their permission, they packed what they needed and headed towards Hogwarts. Once they got there, Professor McGonagall escorted them to see Dumbledore. While they were walking to see Dumbledore, they both noticed a lone girl sitting in the same room eating as they walked toward the Headmaster. When they reached Dumbledore, he looked at them and smiled.
"Ah, good, you two decided to help our dear friend." Dumbledore said. "My that is a healthy bit of color you have.
"Thank you, Professor." Hermione and Ginny said together, blushing.
"So who is it we are helping? The new student?" Hermione asked.
"Also, who is the new student?" Ginny asked.
"Professor McGonagall, if you tell Lilith that we desire her company, I'll inform these young ladies what they are expected to be doing." Dumbledore told Professor McGonagall.
"Yes, Headmaster," McGonagall said and turned and walked across the room. The girl sitting by herself glanced up, and once McGonagall spoke to her glanced over at them. Hermione was startled by the sight of her familiar green eyes. Turning back to Professor Dumbledore, she looked at him questioningly.
"So you wish to know what you two will be doing for our new student." Dumbledore said, smiling at the two girls and smiled when the both of them nodded. "One of the tasks is to prepare the new student to attend the upcoming year here at Hogwarts."
"What do we need to do for the student?" Hermione asked, glancing over as the girl rose to her feet and started to walk toward their end of the room.
"That is part of the special circumstance. The student has asked to be the one to personally tell you why you two were chosen. All I am permitted to say, until she explains, is that you must prepare the new student for the upcoming year." Dumbledore said. Hermione realized that there was something he wasn't saying, but before she was able to ask him anything, Professor McGonagall returned and the girl was standing beside her. When Hermione looked at the girl, she was shocked by the sense of recognition she felt. 'Why do I feel like I know her from somewhere?' "Ah, good, here is the new student."
The girl was dressed wearing a sweat suit that appeared to be a little large on her. She appeared to be the same age as Ginny, had short red hair, and appeared to be nervous about being where she was. It was then that Dumbledore continued with the introductions.
"Hermione, Ginevra, I would like you to meet the new student the both of you will be preparing for the coming year." Dumbledore said.
"Hi." "Hello." Ginny and Hermione said to the girl.
"Hello." The girl returned quietly, shifting uncomfortably.
"This is Miss Lilith Andromeda Amaranthys Snape, the daughter of our own Professor Snape." Dumbledore said, smiling on the inside when he thought of how the two would react to that announcement.
"Snape's daughter!" Both of them exclaimed in surprise when they heard her name and they both failed to notice the girl flinch when they reacted to hearing her name.
"She looks an awful lot like Harry's mother." Ginny said when realization came to her. Both Ginny and Hermione noticed the girl's shocked expression for a moment before it went back to just nervous.
"That would be because," Lilith replied quietly, "I'm the daughter of Lily Evans."
That statement froze Ginny and Hermione in place as they tried to examine.
"But how can that be, that would mean that she cheated on Harry's father." Hermione said, starting to get overwhelmed with all the thoughts running through her head.
"Wouldn't that make you Harry Potter's half-sister?" Ginny asked confused.
"Not exactly; Oh, and mom never cheated on her husband." Lilith replied to answer both of the girl's questions, wondering which of them would figure it out first.
"What?" Hermione asked thoroughly confused. She noticed Lilith look over at Dumbledore pleadingly asking for help.
"What Miss Snape is trying to explain is that Lily Evans never married James Potter; And she only ever bore one child." Dumbledore said. He let that comment sink in for a moment. Then Lilith saw realization dawn on Hermione's face first.
"Harry?" Hermione asked turning to Lilith in shock. Ginny was still trying to piece together what was going on.
"Hi, Hermione." Lilith replied to Hermione with a shy smile.
"What, how, Harry?" Ginny asked slowly getting what was going on. "How is this possible? What happened?"
"Why are you a girl now, and how can you be Professor Snape's daughter?" Hermione asked.
"Um, there is a good explanation for that." Lilith said nervously.
"What?" Hermione demanded, a little anger in her voice.
Lilith sighed. "It's a little complicated. I only just found out myself, so please bear with me."
"I believe," Professor Dumbledore began, "that this is where I step out for a bit of a walk. Do feel free to use my office as long as you need, my dears."
Hermione nodded, and took a seat across from Lilith. Ginny glanced at the two girls before she sat down as well. After a moment where Professor Dumbledore excused himself, Lilith cleared her throat.
"From what I have heard, and found out, my parents married each other immediately after leaving Hogwarts, but Father, as an assignment from the Department of Mysteries, had to hide his marriage to go undercover as a Death Eater. Mum was pretended to be married to James Potter as part of Father's cover. Father's memory was also modified to prevent Voldemort discovering that 'his' potions master was married to a muggleborn. What neither he, nor Mum knew was that I was already on the way.
"But why are you a girl?" Hermione demanded.
"I was getting to that. As I said, Father and Mum separated without knowing I was on the way. When Mum found out, she panicked and almost blew Father's cover. Da… James agreed to pretend that I was his as well, going so far as to make a will naming me his heir. July 31st comes around and everything is fine… until a girl comes out."
"A girl? But, Harry…" Ginny started, only to be stopped by Lilith's upraised hand.
"It's Lilith, and according to my mum's letter, I have always been a girl, just under some spells and potions."
"I still don't see the problem," Hermione said, while Ginny nodded.
"Me being a girl wasn't a problem in and of itself, just the combination of Mum and James trying to pass me off as his kid and being a girl. Potters don't have girls."
"What does that mean? The birth rate of male to female children is no different for witches than for muggle women." Hermione seemed positive. It wouldn't have surprise Harry if she had read it in a book from the library.
"Potters don't have girls… It's because of a curse from the 13th Century or some such. Anyway, because of this curse, Mum having a girl would be considered evidence that she was unfaithful to James, which would have blown the secret wide open and got everyone killed. So they came with the idea to pretend that I was a boy, and turned me into a boy."
"That would take very powerful magic, Har… Lilith. Why would it last so long? Shouldn't the spells have worn off."
"They did, a few days ago. That's why you're here now."
"Why exactly is that, Harry," Ginny said with a mulish expression, obviously not happy with the situation. "We were told we were needed to help a new student prepare for the coming year. You already know about the classes here."
"But Lilith doesn't," She replied with a sigh. "I cannot be seen to have a connection to my old life Ginny, especially if I am going to be able to acknowledge my father. Besides, what I really need is a crash course in how to be a girl. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't exactly been learning female roles and social responses."
"So, what you need are lessons in how to be a girl?" Hermione asked, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. "It's not something that can just be taught, Lilith. It's a way of thinking, of behaving. I'm not sure that we can do it in the month that we have before school starts."
"I hope you're wrong, Hermione, because we don't have a choice. Besides that, we need to get me ready to take Ancient Runes and Arithmancy at the fifth year level."
"Fifth year, but you just finished that year and took your OWL's." Hermione was apparently more shocked by the idea of Lilith retaking fifth year than that her best friend, the boy who lived, was in fact a girl.
"No, Hermione, Harry Potter took His OWL's. Lilith Snape just finished her fourth year." After this clarification Hermione seemed to get the idea and calmed down. "Now, we should probably get down to the great hall, food during the summer isn't as plentiful and the elves tend to clean up sooner than during the school year."
Hermione and Ginny agreed and followed Lilith out of Dumbledore's office. As they walked, they started talking about what was going on while they headed outside to enjoy their meal.
"So why us?" Hermione asked, curious about Lilith's choice.
"Well, you two are two of the only girls I consider good friends, and I hoped I could trust you with what you just found out?" Lilith explained and asked a little nervous. She watched as the other two looked at each other and saw when they had came to a silent agreement.
"Yes, you can trust us with your secret, 'Lilith'." Hermione said for the both of them. They all smiled and got into a big group hug.
"I'm still can't believe that you are really a girl now, much less, that you are Professor Snape's daughter." Ginny said after they broke from the hug.
"You can't believe it, how do you think I feel, and it happened to me." Lilith replied smiling.
"Speaking of your 'father', where is he?" Ginny asked.
"He's still here if that is what you are asking." Lilith replied thinking for a moment. "But I haven't seen him since the day we found out the truth about me. I think he's still coming to terms about what really happened."
"Ah." Ginny said as they continued walking in silence for a while. "I noticed that you aren't wearing glasses anymore, how come?"
"I don't need them anymore." Lilith replied. "Whatever the spell was that changed me to 'Harry' caused my need for glasses, and just stopped when I became Lilith. As far as I can tell, I have normal eyesight, the same as everyone else that doesn't need glasses."
"Must be nice." Ginny said.
"There is one other thing that me becoming Lilith has done." Lilith said.
"What?" Ginny and Hermione asked.
"Look." Lilith says as she lifts up her bangs to show them her forehead.
"Your scar is gone!" Hermione gasped when she noticed that the scar that was present on Harry was nowhere to be seen on Lilith.
"Mostly, but if you look very carefully, you can see it faintly." Lilith explained and the two other girls looked closer and they were able to see the faint line where Harry's scar used to be.
Continuing their conversation, the three girls continued toward the great hall for lunch, not noticing the figure in the shadows near the entrance.