Written By: Summer Carlisle
Disclaimer: Although I doubt these disclaimers make any difference, it can't hurt. I own only the new plot ideas seen here, not the characters or place names or anything else.
Setting: Vague
Rating: K+
Genre: Fluff!
Warnings: Language
Note: Okay, so I had this image in my head that wouldn't go away, so I had to write it out. I decided to challenge myself and turn it into an exactly 1000 word oneshot. So here it is. It's pretty silly, not much plot, not entirely in character, etc, etc. But it was an amusing writing exercise for me and may be just what I needed to jumpstart my writing motivation again.
"Seriously, mudblood, aren't you supposed to be the brightest witch of our time? Surely you can figure out a way to get us out of here."
"Oh, very impressive Malfoy. Insulting and complimenting me in a single sentence. That has to be a new record," she spat at him. "Arguing won't help us get out of here, so let's just try to work together and figure out a solution."
"I suppose you're right, but I'm not exactly in a cheery mood about this, and I really hate working with you," he said, trying to alohamora the door again. They were locked in some tiny room she had never seen before, thanks to a lovely prank played on them by Peeves the poltergeist as they did some Head Boy and Girl hall patrolling. Hermione sat down in the single armchair the room provided, a chair that took up about a quarter of the floor space.
Draco paced around her in circles, intermittently aiming random spells at the door. When nothing happened, he paused and stared down at the top of her bushy head.
"What if I wanted to take a seat, Granger?" he asked, glaring at her. She stared incredulously back up at him.
"Ferret, it's just a chair. Don't be such a prat."
"I enjoy getting off my feet once in a while just as much as you do," he stated matter-of-factly. With that, he promptly plopped down onto her lap.
"Malfoy! What do you think you're doing! Get your pureblood ass off of me!" She did her best to shove him off of her, but he really was much bigger and much stronger than she was.
He casually placed an arm across the back of the chair behind her head and held one armrest with his other hand. She was thoroughly trapped.
"You're not a very comfortable seat at all, Granger," he said, with the air of someone musing over the day's weather.
"Then why don't you get off?" she suggested, pushing at his ribcage some more. He looked down at her small hands and sneered.
"I do wish you would stop touching me, though."
"Touching you? You're sitting on me!" she screeched, glaring at him.
"Well if you had simply gotten up when I asked in the first place, we wouldn't be in this situation." Hermione huffed and crossed her arms, a difficult task with his torso not two inches away from hers. Draco appraised her for a moment before picking her up and sitting back down with her in his lap in one fluid motion.
"Let me go!" she yelled, trying to wriggle free of his grasp. His arms coiled around her waist, holding her in place.
"No, you wanted to be in this chair so now you're just going to deal with it," he muttered. She opened her mouth to protest but seemed to have no response. He narrowed his eyes at her before looking around the room again. "There has to be someway out."
"Can't you ponder that standing up?" she snapped.
"Shut up, I'm thinking," he said.
"Don't you tell me to shut up, Malfoy," she said indignantly. "I am not going to do a thing you say because you are nothing but an arrogant, immature, prejudiced excuse for a wizard that knows nothing about " But she never got to tell him what he knew nothing about because his long, pale fingers pressed over her lips. She tried to yell and pull his hand off, but he didn't budge.
"See? Silence is a marvelous thing." His eyes roamed over the door, thinking he could hear voices outside of it. Hermione began trying to scream at him even louder from behind his hand, creating a quite irritating squealing noise. "I said shut up," he growled before removing his hand and replacing it with his lips. Hermione gasped against his kiss, which only allowed him further access. She entangled her hands in his hair, unsure now whether she was trying to push him away or pull him closer. Almost as if she had no control over what her body was doing, her tongue slid over his lips, eliciting a low moan from him that she felt more than heard. He pulled her tighter against him, biting on her lower lip as he did. He kept kissing her harder, and she met his every movement. She was about to pull away when she tasted blood his or hers she did not know but then realized the pain felt good.
The voices Draco had heard grew louder and louder, until they seemed to be right outside the door. She heard Ron's voice.
"Hermione!"
His yell jolted her and she fell from Draco's lap, hitting the floor hard. Draco stood up, aiming his wand at the door. She heard someone yanking on the door knob, then a loud bang and the door was blasted open.
"What are you doing in here with him?" Ron yelled, pulling her off the ground. Hermione noticed Harry's eyes linger on Draco's mussed hair.
"Peeves locked us in," she said, watching Draco shove past them and out into the corridor without a word. "We were patrolling the halls, Head duty, you know."
"We wondered why you weren't at dinner, so I found you on the map," Harry said. "We couldn't figure out what you were doing in what looked like a broom closet with Malfoy."
"It was forty-five minutes of my life wasted," she muttered, following them outside. Draco was no where to be seen, and it annoyed her when she felt disappointed. Ron was still staring at her.
"Did that prat hit you?" he growled, noticing her bruised lower lip.
"No, no," she said, grabbing Ron's arm as he made to go after him. "I fell off that chair because I was startled when you guys blasted the door open and hit my lip on the armrest." Ron nodded disbelievingly and Harry looked at her suspiciously. Hermione sighed. "It was just the chair."