A breeze wandered its way into the owlery, the slightly cooler air almost visibly upturning the sluggish stuffy air settled into the owlery during the muggy late-May weather. On its way from the window from which it came and the opposite window through which it would receive relief, the breeze ruffled the feathers of many of the owls sleeping away the daylight hours. Indignation, relief and neutrality were all expressed by the owls, and neutrality was also expressed by the lone human in the owlery as the breeze whipped past where she stood at the window through which the breeze sought freedom to join the other winds, catching her red curls and tossing them about gently before leaving her.
Lily Evans stood, her hands clasped on the windowsill, as her eyes steadily watched a speck floating at the horizon. The speck happened to be one of the owls owned by the school, and it was carrying a letter from her to be transferred to muggle post for the next morning. With all luck, she could expect to hear from her mother and sister again in two days, two precious days out of the few allotted.
Lily was startled out of her inner calendar by the sound of strong footsteps behind her and the hooting of an owl to an owner. Turning around sharply so that her pleated skirt twirled slightly over her legs, she turned to see a familiar dark, unkempt head stepping into the owlery. Hazel eyes flicked upwards to meet her own green ones, and she turned around slowly, back to the window.
"Hello, Lily…" James Potter hedged, his voice quiet, wondering how he had offended her this time. He'd been too wrapped up in finals lately to act out much, so unless she had found out about a previous escapade…
"Hi, James." She responded quietly, her eyes closing. She had been rude to dismiss him, but simply she didn't want to talk. Her eyes scanned the horizon, but her owl was gone. She turned her gaze back to the boy in the owlery with her. Gone was the strut, the swagger. Here was a James Potter far removed from the larger-than-life devilish rogue that plagued the students of Hogwarts. Instead was a quite-life-size young man with the same messy hair, though less intentionally ruffled. Even the slouchy appearance of his uniform and untied tie seemed more lazy than pretentious when you took away the crowd.
"Is something wrong, Lily?" he asked, looking over at her sharply, scanning her appearance.
"I'm fine." She said, downcasting her eyes to her hands on the windowsill and allowing a few of her curls to fall down around her headband, hiding her face from him.
"Lily?" He asked again, stepped beside her, making her look him in the eyes. As he loomed over her she could hear the inaudible I told you so that hung in the air.
"Did it help, James?" She whispered, closing her eyes against the building tears. She could not, she would not cry in front of James Potter. Even if he didn't cause it. "Knowing that your dad was going to die?"
Shock appeared on James's face and he set his envelope down on the wide stone sill much to the hawk owl that had come to greet him's displeasure. He pecked at his master, but James merely put his hand atop the owl's head.
"Depends what you mean." He started in quietly, turning and leaning back on the sill, his eyes scanning Lily's face for where this was going. "I wish it had been quick for his sake, if only so he wouldn't suffer. But knowing in advance helped me get more prepared for when it actually happened. Of course, nothing could make it easy." He paused, contemplating his own words and deeming them true. "Why?" He asked, quieter.
Lily nodded at his words, and she opened her eyes to look at her hands. "It's my mum, James. She's sick." His heart dropped at her words, and he quickly registered that he had never seen her, the ever-ready and fiery Lily Evans, so vulnerable and afraid.
"Has she considered appealing to St. Mungo's to take her?" He asked, but by her defeated demeanor thought he knew the answer.
"I suggested that in the letter I just sent her. I know that they have healed people with cancer. But I know she won't do it… she's already reached out to the community for support. She won't want to draw the attention. Besides, with dad gone…" she trailed off, not wanting to think of her father's death in a burglary-gone-wrong a few years previous. She shook her head, and James's heart panged again. Slowly he reached up and gave her shoulder a light squeeze, allowing his hand to rest there. The warmth and light pressure was comforting to Lily, and it took strength to not roll her face over onto his hand and give in to his sweetness.
"Courage, Chief." He said, using the nickname he and his friends teased her with as a reference to how they called her band of friends "Amazons". But the tone in his voice was more bolstering than mocking, and she smiled a little bit.
"Thank you." She whispered, taking his other hand in both of hers and giving it a small squeeze.
"Write me if you need to talk this summer." He said, knowing that she was owl-less and as such with very little opportunity to send him mail without commissioning the help of one of her friends… but still wanting to be there for her.
"Okay. I need to go study for the charms final this afternoon." She said blankly, fidgeting with the starched white linen of her sleeve. "Thank you, James." She turned, her long bouncy curls bobbing and whispering against his arm as she turned away. She sighed, and suddenly James found his arm on her shoulder once again. She turned back to him rather sharply, her big green eyes lowered to a scowl before she caught his expression and stopped. It wasn't the big-shot Potter she was used to having catch her shoulder, it was still the same James she had been speaking to, who had been… was he comforting her? Encouraging her. Helping her.
"Lily… in case I don't get to really talk to you again before the holiday… I just wanted to say be careful." He said, ruffling his hair. Lily was distracted for a second by how the gesture was much less infuriating when he wasn't showing off. In fact, if it had been any other situation she might call it endearing. But this was James Potter, not anyone she would ever consider being endeared to.
"Careful?" She asked confusedly as she returned from her silly thought train.
"Yes, Lily, careful." He said quietly. Lily found herself growing uneasy, almost frightened. James wasn't exactly the most prone to direct caution to those around him. In fact, he and his friends lived life to the very edge. So for him to be asking her to do the opposite… "It's getting really bad out there. Voldemort and his Death Eaters and all that. My dad sent me a letter about it today, it's what I'm replying to, actually. It's really, really bad out there and I just hope…just…just be careful, okay?"
"But, James… what does that have to do with me?" She asked, her breath caught, her lips hanging slightly parted out of a rising feeling of fear. She didn't know anything about Voldemort other than he was bad, or his Death Eaters than they worshiped him and carried out his orders under his name. And yet to see James, easily the most fearless person she knew, so fearful about this made her feel queasy. It was as though her world was tilting on its side.
James stepped forward, looking down on her with a look almost piteous but still reverent. "Lily… don't you know why Voldemort does the things he does?" She shook her head. James sighed. "He's a purist, Lily. He wants only pure-blooded Wizards. He wants to get rid of all the muggleborns." He said, hoping he was saying the right things. Watching as the space between Lily's lips grew larger and her eyes widened, James quickly moved his hand to brace underneath her elbow just in time to catch her as she staggered towards him. He placed his other hand on her back in a bracing manner, and felt her lightly up against him. "It's okay." He whispered, patting her back lightly. "You're not going to be a target or anything. Just don't draw attention to yourself if you can help it. Don't use magic at home, and don't bring your family to Diagon or Hogsmeade. Get your Prophet sent to a friend's house and then mailed to you. Don't have visitors. Stay alert, and if anything ever seems even the littlest bit off, let me know."
"Okay." She said, nodding. Her thoughts reeled with all she was coming to realize, all she hadn't thought about. "I… I really should get to studying charms." She said, shaking her head lightly and placing one of her small hands on her forehead. Gently she disengaged from him, so slowly that he felt every loss of contact by the inch. She turned and started to leave the owlery, but a foot from the door she turned around to see James still watching her, his face puzzled.
"And James… thank you." She said sincerely. James made a gesture with his hand somewhere between acknowledging the statement, brushing it aside, and reaching out to her. But with a quick nod, Lily turned on her heels and was gone.
James stepped over to the windowsill, propping back against it and watching the space she had just left. Even as Apollo flitted over with the letter in his beak to give him an agitated scratch for directions, James could only mutter "Mum and dad" as he contemplated the red head who had just left his proximity and how she was the only person he knew so courageous as to take in so much frightening information in a day and be level headed go study for a charms test. He didn't know how much she could take, and he didn't want to find out. But he knew if she ever did reach her capacity, he wanted to be the one there to catch her.
xxAuthor's Notexx
Hey guys, it's me. If you've read any of my stories to this point, you know I'm a flake. But this one actually has direction- we know how it ends. That's usually what stops me. I've started this, and I know where it's going to go. I even have a GREAT line-up of characters, Lily's "Amazons" as they're referred to. I think you'll enjoy this story, but you tell me. Drop me a review and let me know if you're interested in this, "ehh, it's been done", or "STFU you never finish a story you uncommitted idiot." Seriously, whatever you think, let me know. I have finals coming up, so at first it'll be a little slow... but Christmas break is just around the corner :) Thanks!
Much love,
Hannah.
