Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures

All for love

Part Two

THREE MONTHS LATER

Autumn's golden splendor surrounded Lake George and reflected in its water. On the veranda of her villa, sitting in a wicker chair, Kathryn gazed out at the seasonal beauty but could find no delight in it. Since Chakotay had left, nothing delighted her anymore.

"I really shouldn't indulge this coffee addiction of yours," Phoebe said as she emerged from the lounge with a tray of refreshments, "but as I'm addicted too, I can't be a hypocrite."

She put the tray down on a glass table and then sat next to her sister. Kathryn picked up a cup of coffee but said nothing.

"How long is this going to go on?" Phoebe said in concern.

"What?" Kathryn asked.

"You moping around after that First Officer of yours. You've got to snap out of it, Kathryn. You've go to get on with your life."

"I'm not moping," Kathryn replied. "I'm just...I'm just not feeling very sociable right now."

"You are moping. And I don't understand it. What's so special about him? There's plenty more fish in the sea. Glam yourself up and start dating again. You can't waste the best years of your life on a guy who doesn't want you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Kathryn said. Chakotay had wished to keep his illness a secret and she had honored that wish by not telling anyone.

"We've all been there, Kathryn. We've all had the hots for someone who doesn't feel the same way. You're just got to get over him."

Kathryn made no reply, she just gazed out at the lake.

"I'm worried about you," Phoebe went on. "I haven't seen you this low since Daddy and Justin died. All the spark's gone out of you. Why? I don't understand it. I don't understand you. How can you captain a starship for seven years in hostile space, fighting enemy after enemy, and then let a man drag you down? Where's your fight? Where's your strength?"

"You don't have to worry about me," Kathryn said. "I'll be fine. I just need time."

"But it's been three months. How much time do you need?"

Kathryn's pain made her snap. "We're not all like you, Phoebe! We can't all move on from man to man with a 'wham, bam, thank you, Sir'!"

Her words hurt Phoebe and Kathryn immediately regretted them.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just...I'll deal with this in my own way. I just need time."

"I think you need more than that," Phoebe replied. "I think you need a change of scene. You've never had any luck since you got this house. Maybe it's jinxed. I think you should get rid of it and move on."

"I have thought about it," Kathryn confessed. "But I love it here and...well...I love it here."

"He's not going to come back, Kathryn. If you're holding on to this place because you think he will, you're holding out for something that will never happen. You need to move on. You need to get rid of this place and start anew somewhere else."

"You're right," Kathryn conceded. "It probably will help. I just...I was really hoping to start anew here, to build a home here. But you're right. I need to move on. I need somewhere new. Not because I think for a moment that this house is jinxed, if anything is jinxed it's me, but because it's haunted. It's haunted by the hopes of what could have been." She paused. "I'll start looking for somewhere else tomorrow. An apartment in San Francisco, I think. I don't need a house just for me. When I got this place, I got it because I thought it would be perfect to raise a family in, but it wasn't meant to be. Mark wanted to live in Bloomington and Chakotay...well, a child won't happen now."

"You don't know that, Kathryn. There are lots of men out there who, like you, have always longed for a family that has never happened. All you have to do is find one. And even if it's too late to have your own baby, there are other options...adoption, donation..."

"No," Kathryn said. "My hopes for a family are gone. A heart can only love so much, Phoebe, and I can't love again. I don't want to love again. Every man I've loved, I've lost, and I can't go through it again. From now on, I fly solo."

"I'm sorry to see this place is on the market," the Doctor said as he paid Kathryn an unexpected visit the following evening. "This is a beautiful part of the world. Much more tranquil than the city. After all the stress of the passed seven years, you need tranquillity."

"You're welcome to this villa if you want it, Doctor," she said, replicating herself a cup of coffee. "It's not taken yet."

"Oh, I'm in no need of tranquillity, Admiral. As a hologram, I don't have the burden of getting stressed. Nothing phases me!"

"Lucky you, Doctor," she replied.

"It is one of the many benefits of being a photonic being."

Kathryn sat down and gestured for him to do the same. "What brings you here, Doctor? Is it..." she struggled to say the words. "Is it news on Chakotay?" Although Chakotay was no longer under the Doctor's medical supervision, as he had opted to return to tribal life, she hoped he had heard something.

"No," he replied. "I was hoping you would have some."

"Nothing." Tears filled her eyes. "I don't even know if he's...you know."

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more for him. I'm still working on a cure, Dr Kaytala too, but we're no closer to finding one than the day we started. I'm sorry that all I could offer him was assimilation or stasis."

"Me too. But you have nothing to reproach yourself for, Doctor. You've always done your best by him...by all of us."

"My best clearly isn't good enough. But I won't give up. The chances are Chakotay is still alive and, when the suffering really begins, he may reconsider his options. You'd be surprised how many people do. I'm confident that assimilation would help him."

"Maybe it would," Kathryn replied, "but it isn't what he wants. And I can't say I blame him. I wouldn't want it either." She raised her hand to her head and rubbed her aching forehead. "He's made the decision he thinks best and we have to respect his decision, no matter how hard it is."

The Doctor noticed her fatigue and looked at her in concern. She was pale, drawn, and there were dark shadows under her eyes. "You look exhausted, Admiral," he said. "I hope you're looking after yourself."

"I'm doing my best," she said, lowering her hand. "I just...I can't stop worrying about Chakotay."

"I understand that. But the last thing he'd want is for you to worry."

"I know. But I can't turn off my feelings like a tap. It's driving me crazy not knowing how he is."

"Maybe you should visit him. I know that isn't what he wants, but if he knew how much you're suffering, I'm sure he'd welcome a visit."

"No. He wants it this way and I have to accept that. He's a proud man, a private man, and he wants me to remember him as he was. I can't take that away from him."

"Then you're going to have to let go," the Doctor said. "You're going to have to try and move on with your life."

"I know. That's why I'm leaving this place."

The Doctor reached into his medkit and pulled out a tricorder.

"What are you doing?" Kathryn asked.

"Examining you," he said as he got to his feet. "Even without the aid of a tricorder I can see that you're over-tired, over-worked, and under-fed."

"I'm ok," Kathryn said as he examined her. "There's no need to fuss."

"There's more need than you think," the Doctor replied. "You're pregnant."

Kathryn's eyes flew to his face. "Pregnant?"

"Approximately twelve weeks."

Kathryn could hardly believe her ears. Pregnant? How could it be true?

"Really?" she said, tears in her eyes. "How can that be?"

"Do you really need a biology lesson, Admiral?"

Dazed, she got to her feet. "Can you tell what it is? I mean...a boy or a girl?"

"Yes. I can tell its gender. I can also tell it's half Caucasian and half Native American, so no prizes for guessing who's the father." He paused. "Would you like to know the gender?"

"I would," Kathryn said.

"Then I'll tell you. You're having a boy."

A boy. Chakotay's little boy. The joy was overwhelming. So overwhelming that Kathryn could hardly breathe. Kindly, the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder. "Sit down, Admiral. Let me get you some water. You're clearly in shock."

"No, I'm fine." She looked up at the doctor with a smile. "I'm pregnant."

"You are," he said. "And you're happy about it?"

Kathryn nodded as a tear ran down her cheek. "I've never been happier about anything in my entire life."

A WEEK LATER

Snow fell softly as Kathryn walked through a white forest on Trebus. All around her were high fir trees, their majestical tops blocking out the sunlight, and the ground beneath her feet was hard and icy. After walking in the winter wonderland for a while, she came to a path, and this path lead her to a plain. Upon the snow covered plain were a dozen log cabins and outside them children played. Kathryn studied her tricorder, noted what she was looking for, and then made her way to a small log-cabin at the edge of the hamlet. The children stopped playing when they saw her and looked at her warily, but when the perceived she posed no threat, they returned to their game. When Kathryn reached the log-cabin, she walked around the side of it, studying her tricorder still, and then stopped when she reached her destination. This was the rear of the log-cabin where her tricorder told her Chakotay was. And, sure enough, he was there. In blue jeans and a white shirt he was chopping up wood with an axe. Kathryn's heart pounded wildly in her chest and all kinds of emotions overcame her. He was still alive. Until now, until she'd actually seen it with her own eyes, she'd been afraid to believe it. Then, as though he sensed someone looking at him, Chakotay stopped chopping and turned around.

"Hello, Chakotay," Kathryn said.

For a long moment Chakotay did nothing, said nothing, then he put down his axe and walked over to her.

"Hello, Kathryn."

"I know you don't want me here," she said, "but I had to see you."

Chakotay looked at her with only love and regret in his eyes. "I'm glad you're here."

"You are?"

He nodded. "I've behaved badly, Kathryn. I've behaved badly to you. I'm sorry."

"You did what you felt was right, Chakotay. I don't blame you for that." A tear ran down her cheek. "But thank you. Thank you for welcoming me."

Chakotay reached out and put his hand on her arm. "Let's go inside."

They went inside and Kathryn found herself in a cozy living room. In a stone chimney a fire blazed and all around were rugs, tapestries, and rustic pine wood furniture.

"I'm afraid I don't have coffee," Chakotay said, "but can I get you a herbal tea?"

"No," Kathryn replied. "Thank you. I'm good."

Chakotay closed the door and then wiped his hands clean on a wet rag.

"The passed few months have been some of the worst of my life," Kathryn said. "I've missed you profoundly and I've worried about you profoundly. It's been hell not knowing what's happening with you. Every night I've gone to bed wondering if you're still alive and every morning I've got up wondering the same."

"I'm sorry," Chakotay said, closing the gap between them. "I truly am. I was wrong to leave the way I did and I want you to know that." He paused. "These months away from you have been hell for me too. I've missed you every moment of every day. Many times I've almost got in a shuttle and flown back to you, but I didn't know if I'd be welcome."

"Always." Gently, she took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "Come home, Chakotay. Please come home."

"Are you sure, Kathryn? I don't want to be a burden."

"You will never be a burden to me, Chakotay. I love you and I need you." She paused. "And our son needs you too."

Chakotay flinched. "Our son?"

Kathryn nodded. "I'm pregnant."

Joy filled Chakotay's tired eyes and he gathered her in his arms. "Oh Kathryn..."

"I've only just found out," she told him, "but I'm so happy. All I need now is for you to come home. Say you will, Chakotay. Please say you will."

"I will," he said tearfully. "I will."

TWO WEEKS LATER

Hand in hand, Kathryn and Chakotay walked through the streets of Bloomington. On their return from Trebus, they'd decided to stop over at her hometown and visit all the places they'd dreamed of visiting together. Kathryn showed Chakotay all the places she'd haunted as a girl, just like he'd shown her all the places he had roamed on Trebus, and they cherished every moment. As they walked down an avenue of russet leafed trees, Kathryn stopped outside an ancient white building, and turned to Chakotay. "Two centuries ago," she said, "this was a school for girls. Now it's a community building. All kinds of ceremonies are performed here, including weddings. It has one of the most magnificent halls I've ever seen. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of getting married here." She paused. "Will you make that dream come true, Chakotay? Will you walk with me into this building and marry me?"

Chakotay smiled, dimples showing. "On one condition."

"What's that?"

"You'll marry me."

"Yes," Kathryn laughed. "Yes, yes!"

They hugged joyfully beneath falling leaves and then walked into the building.

"Married?" the Doctor exclaimed when Kathryn and Chakotay told him the news back at Lakeside Villa. "Really? Well, congratulations!"

"Thank you, Doctor," Kathryn said. "And you'll be pleased to know that this place is no longer on the market. Chakotay and I are staying."

"I'm delighted to hear it, Admiral. And I'm delighted that you're back, Commander. I've been worried about you."

"It's good to be back," he smiled. "I should never have left. I thought I was doing the right thing but I know now I was wrong."

"How are you?" the Doctor asked. "Has your condition worsened?"

"No," he replied. "If anything, it's improved. I'm still weak, but I haven't had cramps or trouble breathing in a while."

"Really? No cramps or shortness of breath at all?"

"None."

"Unexpected," the Doctor said, visibly baffled. "If what we understand about this virus is correct, your symptoms should either have stayed the same or worsened. They should not have lessened." He reached into his medkit and pulled out his tricorder. "Perhaps we're not understanding this virus and that's why we can't find a cure." He began to scan Chakotay and then stepped back in amazement. "I don't believe it. The virus has gone!"

Kathryn's heart skipped a beat and she glanced at Chakotay. His eyes met hers and they shared a hopeful gaze. Then Chakotay looked at the Doctor. "What are you saying, Doctor?"

"I'm saying you're cured," he replied. "There's no trace of the virus in your body."

"But how?"

"I don't know. It's possible that your immune system has fought it off, but everything we know about this virus suggests it's too strong for the human immune system to withstand. The only other explanation is that something you've consumed or been exposed to on Trebus has killed the virus. Can you think of anything, Commander?"

"Not really," he said. "Most of what I ate on Trebus was courtesy of my replicator as foods are in short supply. The only native product I've really consumed was herbal tea. It's my sister's concoction and she has jars full."

"Then it must have been that. Can you get me some to analyze?"

"Yes. I've brought a jar with me."

"Excellent! Beam a sample to my office as soon as you can. And make it a generous one. I'll need to share it with Dr Kaytara." He smiled happily. "Your sister may well have made a medicine that will save hundreds of lives."

Kathryn stepped forward. "And Chakotay's? Is he really out of danger?"

"Totally. You're a little run down, Commander, and are deficient in some key nutrients, but with plenty of rest and good food you'll be in fine health in no time. Now, I'll have to go share this news with Dr Kaytala. She has several patients suffering with the sister virus and is working herself into an early grave trying to find a cure. Congratulations on your marriage, Admiral and Commander, and congratulations, Commander, on your cure." He hit his commbadge. "E.M.H. to S.H.Q.T.S. Beam me to Sunvale Medical Center."

Almost immediately a blue transporter beam engulfed him and he disappeared.

When he was gone, Kathryn and Chakotay turned to each other and looked at each other with infinite joy.

"Am I dreaming?" Chakotay asked, "or did the Doctor just say I'm cured?"

"You're not dreaming," she smiled. "He did."

For a long moment they just gazed at each other, both dazed and dizzy with joy, then they held each other tight and laughed through tears.

SIX MONTHS LATER

In a sunny bedroom overlooking Lake George, a tiny baby boy with a mop of fluffy black hair slept in his mother's arms. His name was George Kolard Janeway and he had come into the world in this very room only an hour earlier. His proud father was sitting beside his mother on their canopied bed and they were both gazing at him in adoration.

"I can't believe he's ours," Kathryn said. "That he's really truly ours."

"Neither can I," Chakotay replied.

"He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. And so perfect. Look at his tiny fingers. They're amazing."

"As are you," Chakotay said, kissing her hair. "I'm so proud of you, Kathryn. What you went through it was...very humbling."

"I'd go through it a million times for this little fella. A billion. I don't think there's anything I wouldn't do for him." She looked up at her husband. "Thank you for giving him to me."

Chakotay brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "Thank you for giving him to me." Tears filled his eyes. "And thank you for standing by me. If you'd given up on me, hadn't come to Trebus, then I wouldn't be here now." He paused. "I just hope I never have to show you the strength of my love the way you've shown me."

"You already have," Kathryn replied. "No matter what happened on Voyager, you stuck by me. You were my rock and my shelter and I couldn't have got through those years without you." She paused. "And I'm grateful beyond measure that I don't have to live the rest of my life without you."

Chakotay smiled. "Thanks to herbal tea."

"Herbal tea and a man who put his own happiness aside to do what he thought was right by the woman he loves. But don't you ever leave me again, Chakotay. No matter how bad things get, we'll face them together. Promise me."

"I promise," he said sincerely.

Kathryn smiled and then kissed his lips softly. Chakotay kissed her back and then they looked once more at their precious son.

THE END