Chapter 22

Ok, let's recap.

You are a homunculus. Cause as I'm sure you recall, you died. After that, there was a period of about two weeks where you were well and truly dead. But then Colonel Roy Mustang performed a human transmutation and now here you are. You may wonder why he bothered. The best guess I can make is that he must have thought you looked pretty hot wielding that machete. So he realized that you were the only woman he'd ever love. Naturally, he tried to bring you back to life. He was positive he would be successful, because he sacrificed his brain, and he figured that such an incredibly powerful mind as his was ample sacrifice for a human transmutation and that once he had succeeded you would both take over the world and live happily after. This of course proves that his brain was not nearly as powerful as he thought, or else it might have occurred to him that once he removed it, he would die. Which may be why he failed and you are now a homunculus. This is not a good thing.

However you are now more or less alive and you have been taken in by a guy named Envy. Envy doesn't seem to particularly like you; in fact you haven't seen much of him since you got back to the mansion where he lives with his nutcase family. They are all pretty much crazy. However, Envy doesn't seem to hate you either, cause he did at least kick Gluttony in the nose when the evil little lard kept trying to eat you. According to Lust, that's a strong sign of friendship with Envy.

Ok. You'll take it.

You can't remember much of anything about your previous life, but that's okay, because you kind of like being a homunculus. I mean, check out the cool outfits!

You always know it when Envy is at the manor, because he invariably makes a lot of noise upon arrival.

It usually goes like this: *huge double doors crashing open, sometimes breaking the hinges* *Envy screaming* *Dante shrieking* *Envy: rant-rant-rant* *Lust and Gluttony: kibitzing* *Wrath howling and giggling* *crash!!!* *Wrath wailing* *Dante: yadda yadda* *Envy screaming again* *crash, boom, crash* *Stomping on the stairway. Boom-boom-boom-boom about 300X* *Door slam, which makes the windows rattle in your room* *Envy: scream, crash, pant, pant, gasp, groan* *silence*

Yeah, that's pretty much it. After living here for a few months, you're starting to get used to it.

You wait awhile, and after not hearing anything else, you get up and sneak across the hall to knock on Envy's door. He doesn't answer, so you let yourself in and go over and sit on the bed, where he's sprawled himself to glare at the ceiling.

"Envy?"

"Get out."

Hmph. Fine then. You stand to leave, but his cold fingers close around your wrist.

"Wait!"

He jerks you arm and you fall forward to land on top of him and before you realize what's happening, he gives you a rough kiss on the lips and then shoves you away again.

"Okay. Now get out."

Now what?

"Oh, I'll get out alright! These people are crazy!" Go to Chapter 30

"Eeep!!! Sweet! Envy likes me!" Go to Chapter 24