Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Friday Early Evening – Chapter 6
How Parker got here Part I
"Booth can I ask you a question about Parker? We've talked about this before. Parker was an accident wasn't he?" This story was going to be harder to tell. It was in many ways more personal and from the glimpses she had seen more painful. Taking his hands into her smaller ones she continued "how did Parker came to be?"
He looked away from her not sure he could tell her about this. This one failure was the one that made him see himself as a lesser man. The man who did not deserve to have any blessings come his way. The man who was not deserving. Parker was not the failure. Parker was his saving grace. She and Parker were the only loves of his life. They were his anchors. What if she knew the truth would she walk away?
Looking back he began "Bones, I'm not sure I can tell you about this. Some of it is still painfully raw after all this time. It is the biggest mistake of my life."
At the shocked look on her face he realized she had not understood what he meant. "Bones Parker is not a mistake; I am the one who is the failure not Parker."
"Seeley Booth, after all these years I know you are not a failure. How could you even think I would ever accept your description of yourself as a failure? Please start at the beginning and explain it to me."
Rubbing his hands through his hair he began in a halting voice "I met Rebecca in college. I went to college after the Army and my gambling career. Even though I was older than most everyone I lived in the dorm. I was new to DC, no family or friends. It was a bed. Anyway in my third year one Friday night my roommate, Randy, convinced me to go to a football game. It took a lot of convincing. I never went because by that time my participation in things like football was over. When I got there the first thing I noticed was this cheer leader, Rebecca."
At this point Bones interrupted, "the first thing you noticed was a BLOND cheer leader."
"I did not notice her because she was blond."
"You did too."
"I did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Too."
"Not."
"Too."
"Ok I didn't notice her only because she was blond."
"See, and she was smoking too, right?"
"Bones do you want to hear this or not?" At her nod he continued, "Randy knew her so he introduced us. We started dating and things were going well. After the Christmas break, Rebecca wanted us to live together. She had an apartment off campus so I moved in with her. We had the usual squabbles most couples have. Put the cap back on the toothpaste. Why do you always leave the toilet seat up? Your usual stuff. That summer Rebecca was doing an internship with an attorney in her hometown and I had received an internship with the FBI. Rebecca wanted me to come home with her, but I couldn't. I was the first intern the FBI had ever taken from American. After I was hired I was told they took me as an intern because of my Ranger and Sniper profile. At any rate I stayed in DC and Rebecca went home."
He was getting to the dreadful part of the story and the rage of it all was coming back. He had kept it hidden for so long. He didn't realize until now that he had harbored so much anger and resentment. His words became slower until they finally stopped.
Gently she urged him to continue. "Booth?"
Running his hands through his hair again and taking a full breath he picked up the thread of the story again. She came home early in August, which surprised me. She seemed changed. Something was wrong. I asked her about it, we fought about it and finally she said she thought she might be pregnant. I asked her how late she was and she said six weeks. I asked her if she had taken a pregnancy test yet. She said no. I went to the drug store and bought one. I sat with her while we waited to see the results. It was official we were pregnant. I was ecstatic, my world was complete. I had a beautiful woman who I loved and we were going to have a baby. While it wasn't romantic I thought I knew her answer so I asked her to marry me. That's when my world went to he!! In a hand basket. She started screaming for me to get out and not to ever come back. She pushed me out the door and told me to come back the next for my stuff. I went from the greatest height to the lowest low in the span of fifteen minutes. I went from we are having a baby to she is having a baby alone. For the next seven or so months we tried off and on to live together but it never seemed to gel. I would ask her if I could go to her doctor appointments, she always had the same answer. I had done enough by getting her into this situation, thank you very much. By the time Parker was born we weren't even speaking to each other. If her Dad hadn't have called when she delivered Parker I would never have known."
His anger was beginning to be replaced by a deep sadness. She could see it in his eyes, hear it in his face and feel it in his hands. Leaning over she kissed him softly on each eye encouraging him to go on.
"When I got to the hospital the nurse took me to another room and brought Parker in. He was so small, so perfect. I unwrapped him to look at all his tiny little fingers and toes. I even held him up to my ear so I could actually hear his heartbeat for the first time. I wanted to do right by him. I wanted him to have a family. I wrapped him up and brought him back to Rebecca. She must have either high on endorphin's or too tired to argue but I just sat there holding Parker and we talked. We decided to try again. By now I was working at the FBI so we had a regular paycheck and day care. Rebecca was starting her internship. Things were pretty good. It was a Carly Simon song. Baby sneezes, Mommy pleases, Daddy breezes in. You pay the grocer, you fix the toaster, so romantic, so bewildering. I know nothin' stays the same but if you're willin' to play the game it's comin' around again. After three months we couldn't stand each other again. That's why I blame myself for Bones. That is what makes me a lesser man. I could not make a family for my son."
"Booth… Seeley Parker knows you love him. He knows you. He knows you are his father. You have taught him to kick a ball, throw a football, made sure he feels safe. He is a bright articulate child with beautiful chocolate eyes and a half a mega watt smile. When that smile ratchets up to a full grown Booth smile he's going to be a real lady's man. You are anything but a failure. Besides if I were considering having a child I would consider anyone else only half as qualified as you."
Suddenly he broke out of his funk. Did he hear what he thought he did? Was she considering having a baby and with him? "Bones, does this mean you want to have a baby with me?"
"Give me time Booth, Give me time."
His last thought before he kissed her was don't mind if I fall apart there's more room in a broken heart. But she was filling his heart more each second.
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This turned out to be a long chapter but I just couldn't see how to cut any of it out.
Inspiration for this chapter was Coming Around Again – Carley Simon
Meow? Meow? Meow?
