CHAPTER ONE: UNEXPLAINABLE ENCOUNTER WITH CASEY

Okay, so I was slightly annoyed by the fact that Casey had to come butting in on my love life.

Okay, I butted in, I admit. But that's not the point! The point was when I saw them at the mall together, walking and talking and laughing, I thought once again, Great. I'll see you guys on your wedding.

But them Casey told me the "news".

When he had said the words, "I have some bad news…It has to do with Sammy" the first thing I thought was Damn! He got her PREGNANT, too? 'Cause Bad News with a girl usually means a) they broke up or b) she's pregnant. But Casey and Sammy had never been together (unless I was missing out on something) so of course choice a) was immediately illuminated.

Then I started to panic. NO! Casey was only fourteen! Not even sixteen! How could he do something like that?

And when? When was my best friend not ever telling me about his sex-life? I mean, we'd talked about this before!!

And now, here he was doing all this junk and he was not even telling me. Until too late.

But when the words actually came out of his mouth, I was so relived I didn't even feel that nausea in my stomach anymore.

"My dad is dating Lana, Sammy's mom."

I hesitated; I had to hold the suppressing grin before I gave in. I pressed my hand to my mouth.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked me.

I had replied, "I'm sick. I think. I feel it."

"Gross man, if you're gonna puke, get away from me." Casey had said, stepping back.

I had replied—wait! Why am I even explaining this part? Let's fast-forward the puke-talk and go to when the Sammy-and-her-mom-and-Casey's-dad-talk comes.

I said, "So…wait—does this mean--?"

"Billy, they haven't even known each other for a year. The part about them getting married is not the part that worries me."

"Then what is?"

"I'm worried that…that Sammy will think now that our parents are together, we can't."

"Well, you can't."

"Billy! Thanks for the support! God!"

"Okay okay, chill. Just saying the facts."

Casey leans back, onto my bed. "But…but I don't care whether my dad marries Sammy—I just want me to be with her."

"Casey, ugh, Casey, that's just…Casey. You're dad? Ew, ugh, gross…Casey.." I couldn't bring out words to explain how disgusted I was at that phrase. Casey's dad marrying Sammy. Ugh ugh ugh ugh.

"Okay, never mind that. Just..Think about everything that…I've said to her…How I've touched her." he pauses for a second. "Not like that!" He adds real quickly." Like, I've held her hand and kissed in and I've been to a dance with her…"

My stomach did stupid turns. I hated how Casey talked about her in such a way…a way that I would never be able to tell him. I've only kissed her cheek once, but that was on a dare and that was when I didn't like her like that.

Casey was really upset, and if this were some other case, I woulda helped him all night. But this was a case in which I couldn't even help myself! Even I couldn't even untangle my confusion with Sammy. Especially with Casey in the middle.

I sighed. Now, then again, I did have a better chance…

Only 10 percent though. Casey was still too willing to love Sammy, even if it was partially illegal or something.

Or something.

Casey had left early that day. I was no help to him and he would probably go to Danny for help.

Damn it Danny's no good! I thought. He's just a no-good cheater. His looks aren't even anything that amazing…

I never did want to tell Casey that Danny had kissed Heather (he had told me since I'm not her brother).

Well, also, when he was in 7th grade, he had admitted he was gay for some time and had actually done stuff with guys. Why? I don't know. 'Cause he's Danny?

But then, somewhere in his sick heart, he found a reason to like girls again…

Then dump them,

Then like them…

Then dump then…

Then like them…

Then cheat on them…

I went to bed that night wishing I could tell someone, anyone, about my feelings.

About what was hiding inside me…

But I was the only person I could truly confess to.