A/N: Hello everyone, thank you for reviewing and adding me to your favourites and author alerts. Hope you enjoy this one. It's a little fluffy, but I tried my best to write how I think the characters would react in a situation like this. Pet Shop Boys' remix of the song 'You Are Always On My Mind' was the influence for this one.
Ikkaku sat back down on a bench in Karakura Park unwilling to go back home to Mizuho. That girl was infuriating and without Yumichika there to come between them she felt it imperative to be his new best friend and by friend he meant lover. If he only let his guard down in front of that girl he felt sure that he would be raped. He had finished his mission in the Living World about a week ago, but Zaraki realized that something was amiss between his two favourite squad members and was being 'nice' for want of a better word, when he sent Ikkaku to the Living World to dispose of a Hollow, a job that Ichigo could easily have handled. He had told Ikkaku to take all the time that he needed and Ikkaku readily took advantage of the offer. He was no coward but he really couldn't face Yumichika now. At first he feared that if he ever saw Yumichika again there existed the possibility that he just might kill the man. But somehow, Ichigo had managed to dissipate his anger and now he wasn't sure what he wanted from his relationship. He didn't want to return to Seretei where he shared a room with Yumichika. He didn't want to return to Soul Society at all because everywhere he went there would be memories to chase him. And despite his best efforts of running away to the Living World to escape Yumichika, memories still stalked him.
Sometimes Ikkaku thought himself the luckiest man in Soul Society and in moments like these he really wanted to do his lucky dance, but that would wake up Yumichika and ruin the moment that inspired him to do his lucky dance in the first place, thus defeating the purpose. He looked down at Yumichika, who was sleeping peacefully on his chest. He never snored nor drooled and his hair was pooled around Ikkaku's chest just so that Ikkaku wondered if at some point in time during the night the man got up to perfectly stage the scene. He wouldn't have been surprised, that had Yumichika written all over it. But as he looked at the man lying in his arms in the subtle light of dawn he couldn't help but think that Yumichika definitely deserved to be so irritatingly vain. The man was gorgeous. And Ikkaku was damn lucky to be with him. He loved that Yumichika thought him sexy, that he said he wanted no one else, that he needed him, the way he always treated him like it was his birthday – he got it however he wanted it. He knew how to make Ikkaku feel good.
"I know that beauty is so breathtaking that you can't help but stare at me when I'm sleeping," Yumichika said with a smile, his eyes still closed.
"Che. Get off ya vain bastard." Ikkaku frowned as he playfully pushed Yumichika off of him.
"Oh, you know you want me." Yumichika gave him a sly smile as he lay on his side and propped up his head with his hand.
Ikkaku rolled his eyes and turned his head away, but he couldn't suppress the small smile that was curling up on his mouth.
"Yeah. Right." He replied, trying to muster as much sarcasm as possible, but failed miserably since Yumichika was the one that was especially good at that, but he played along.
"Really? I must be losing my beauty. The one person who I thought would love me no matter what…" He said in dramatic woe-is-me fashion.
Ikkaku rolled his eyes again, but it was getting harder to repress his smile.
"Che, Yumichika. You know that I only like ya for yer looks. And you don't have that now, so…"
"Really?"
Ikkaku could hear the grating edge in Yumichika's voice and that shattered his resolve. He broke out laughing as he pulled Yumichika onto him and kissed him hard enough to take the man's breath away. Yumichika hovered above him and pierced him with his lavender eyes. Goodness, he was gorgeous! 'I'm so fucking lucky!' Ikkaku screamed in his mind. He brought Yumichika down again for another deep kiss, but he received only a peck as Yumichika rose up from the futon leaving Ikkaku groaning.
"You are such a tease." He ground out as he watched Yumichika make his way to the bathroom.
"Didn't you say that we were going somewhere today?"
"Oh, yeah." Ikkaku groaned as he remembered. At the moment he would much rather be lying in bed with Yumichika, but he had promised a surprise for him. It was the first time in eleven years that he and Yumichika had had a day off and on the same the day too; he was not going to waste it (not that lying in bed with the most beautiful man in Seretei would be considered wasting time.) He lay back down knowing that Yumichika would spend the next two hours in the bathroom getting dressed.
*
"So are you going to tell me where we are going?" Yumichika asked when they had reached the outskirts of the Northern Gate and entered the Rukongai. The weather was clear, as usual in the Seretei, but since the two men was not out for patrol, but rather out on a day off, the weather seemed the most beautiful and Yumichika commented on it.
Ikkaku gave him a sly smile.
"We're going to the 5th District."
"Hmmm? I don't recall ever visiting there. But I do know that it's not as bad as the other districts. What's it like?"
"Come on, I'll race ya." Ikkaku ignored him and took off in a blur of Shunpo.
"Wait, you idiot! You didn't answer me!" Yumichika sighed as he mumbled, "Honestly, you act like twelve sometimes." But he too took off in a haze after Ikkaku.
Ikkaku reached before him and stood atop a hill looking down at the scene before him as he awaited Yumichika. He soon felt the familiar reiatsu of the 5th Seat and turned around to tease him about being so woefully slow when he collected a hard kick to the shin.
"Fuck! Ow! What the hell was that for?" Ikkaku mumbled as he rubbed his jaw.
"For leaving me." He answered casually as he flicked some hair out of his eyes and followed Ikkaku down the hill.
"It's not my fault that you're slow!"
"I am not slow. You know very well that I can keep up with you. If I remember correctly, you have a hard time keeping up with me." Yumichika said with a sly smile.
Ikkaku blushed but quickly blamed it on the sudden rush of cold wind that they walked into.
"Wait a minute, why is it so cold all of a sudden?" Yumichika exclaimed as he snuggled deeper under his kimono. Suddenly Ikkaku came up behind him and covered his eyes.
"Why are you blocking my eyes? You're disrupting my feathers. I specifically changed my feathers to match my kimono today. I can't afford to have crushed – "
"Oh would you shut the fuck up! Can't you see that I'm trying to do something nice?!"
"I don't know what made me think differently," Yumichika mumbled in a sotto voice and sweatdropped.
"Che. That mouth of yours will get you in trouble." Ikkaku grumbled.
Yumichika was about to retort that he told him the same thing last night, but was cut off when Ikkaku told him to open his eyes.
Yumichika opened his eyes to see the most breathtaking image. It was the meeting of spring and winter as they stood on the edge of a low wooden bridge that looked down over a river that was just beginning to let loose the ice. Delicate, pink and white Sakura petals drifted onto the snowy banks and into the cold, cobalt blue water. A light mist suspended in the air and a cold breeze kissed their skins. It was so breathtaking that at first Yumichika could do nothing but stare at the magnificence of nature. Suddenly he felt Ikkaku wrap his arms around him. It was so strange for Ikkaku to show such obvious signs of public affection that Yumichika initially jumped from the touch.
"This District is renowned for its Sakura trees and the first time that I saw this place I thought of you," Ikkaku said softly into Yumichika's ear.
"It's beautiful; absolutely stunning. It's understandable that you would think of me."
Ikkaku rolled his eyes and chuckled into Yumichika's neck as he tightened the embrace. A comfortable silence settled between them as they listened to the soothing rhythms of the river beneath them and sheltered against the nippy winds.
"Yumichika..."
"Hmmm..." Yumichika answered casually as he was torn away from the captivating image before him.
"I umm...I'm not real good with words...but umm, there's something that I wanted to tell you for a while now."
Yumichika's interest was officially peaked. Ikkaku was being more than just serious or sober; he was attempting to be sincere and heartfelt. This was obviously not something that would be easy for the normally gruff and blunt man, so Yumichika stayed quiet, giving the man enough time and space that he needed.
"You're real important to me, ya know. I hope you know how much you mean to me. I know that you can do much better than me. I mean look at you. You're fucking gorgeous. You should be with someone more smarter, more handsomer, more sophisticated. I mean, I'm not the best, ya know."
Yumichika smiled at Ikkaku's choice of words and decided that at a later date he would inform him that listing all the reasons why someone should not be with you is not really the best way to go about a declaration of love. That is, if this really is a declaration of love. Suddenly, Yumichika's heartbeat rapidly increased and he felt like Ikkaku was strangling him not embracing him. What if this was actually a really bad break-up speech? Good Lord! If that was the case Yumichika sincerely hoped that Ikkaku would let go of him, so that he would have free reign to jump off that bridge.
"I know that I don't treat you as good as I could, but for some reason you put up with me."
Ikkaku cleared his throat to continue – this was obviously difficult for him, while Yumichika was quite possibly having a silent anxiety attack as he waited for Ikkaku to finish his likely break-up speech.
"When I'm going into a fight I know that it looks like I'm just battle crazy, but that's only like ninety percent true; some part of me always think about you. You're always on my mind, Yumi. I don't want you to think that I don't care for ya. I really do."
Yumichika had never known Ikkaku to be ambiguous but this was absolutely what you would call a mind fuck. He had no idea of exactly where Ikkaku was heading with this speech. The more he hoped that it was not a poorly delivered break-up speech, the more he began to believe that it was. He began to feel a bit dizzy at the prospect and he was grateful that Ikkaku was blocked from seeing the ugly expression of fear, anxiety and anticipated hurt marring his beautiful, refined lavender eyes.
"I put our friendship above everything." Ikkaku continued.
Yumichika nearly collapsed right then and there. Not the 'friends' talk, he lamented in his mind. Suddenly anger erupted in him. He couldn't believe that Ikkaku brought him here to give him the I-just-want-to-be-friends speech!
"We've known each other for years. The first time that I met you, it was never my intention to get involved with you. So to be honest, I never expected to be in any relationship with anyone. This is new for me. I don't even know how comfortable I am with the idea."
Yumichika was boiling with a rage that stifled his voice. All he wanted to do was reach for his zanpakutō and slice Ikkaku into four neat slices.
Ikkaku cleared his throat again. He buried his face in Yumichika's neck and took a deep breath. Yumichika was shaking with indignant rage by this time, but Ikkaku mistook it for the cold, obviously oblivious to how close he was to being involved in what is known as a crime of passion. This time when he spoke his voice was barely above a whisper and he grabbed onto Yumichika even tighter. Presumably, Yumichika cynically thought, to prevent him from jumping off the bridge when he finally revealed that he had no intention of continuing the relationship.
"I guess what I'm really trying to say is that..."
More clearing of the throat.
"I really love you. I really do. I'm not just fucking with ya. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."
Ikkaku exhaled hard as if he was holding his breath for the last twenty minutes while Yumichika froze like a sheet of ice in the river.
"Whew! There I said it. I know that I've never said it to you before but I said it and I mean it." Ikkaku growled, returning to his familiar territory of rough and gruff. "And don't go thinking that I'm going to be like this all the time! This was hard enough without you nagging me in my head all the time to say 'Ikkaku you don't tell me that you love me.' You know that's not me Yumichika, so don't expect it. This was hard enough!"
Yumichika stood still for a while trying to abate the initial shock and get his vocal cords working again. By sheer noise, Ikkaku got them to work again, but quite possibly deafened the raven-haired man as he shouted into his ear:
"Well aren't ya gonna say anything!?"
"Well, first of all, I don't nag. That's too ugly to be me." Yumichika said turning around to face Ikkaku.
Ikkaku stared at him for a moment.
"That's what you got outta what I just said!?" He screamed at him as he sweatdropped.
"Secondly," Yumichika continued as if without interruption, "I have never harassed or bullied you into telling me that you love me. I know you Ikkaku. That's not how you are and I'd be damn surprised if you were. I'm pretty surprised right now, actually." Yumichika did not think it imperative to let Ikkaku know the exact thoughts that were running through his mind. Ikkaku would totally mock his neuroticism. He would just add that to the list of things he couldn't tell Ikkaku:
The true name of my zanpakuto is Ruri'iro Kujaku
You are bald
I thought that you were going to break up with me and I was seriously considering suicide.
"You're surprised? That's it?" Ikkaku asked, though his voice was softer.
"Yes. You want to spend the rest of your afterlife with me?" Yumichika asked seriously.
Ikkaku's deep brown eyes penetrated Yumichika's deep purple ones.
"I'm serious."
"You know what that means, right? If we have a fight you can't just leave. If our situation ever changes you can't leave me. You have to stay at my side no matter what. We now have to work things out because we'd be partners for life. That's the promise."
"I do. I'm prepared to spend the rest of my afterlife by your pretty, fashion-conscious, beauty-obsessed, narcissistic, temperamental side. I won't ever desert you."
The vow was brusque and laced with half-hearted insults but that was Ikkaku. This was something that he wanted to tell Yumichika for a long time and this was the best way he knew how. He was neither a poet nor a romantic Romeo. He was only trying to make a promise. Yumichika leaned in and kissed him firmly as he pressed his body against Ikkaku. He pulled away leaving Ikkaku gasping. Ikkaku gave him a raised eyebrow.
"Well, since we're being out of character," Yumichika replied by way of explanation for the forceful kiss.
Ikkaku smiled at the memory. Not even two hours later while completely drunk off of sake, Yumichika confessed that he thought Ikkaku was going to break-up with him and Ikkaku laughed his head off at Yumi's expense telling him that he was a drama queen. That earned a punch to the gut. He sighed. Ruri'iro Kujaku. He had been a shinigami for over a hundred years now. He was also being lied to by Yumichika for over a hundred years. But he had made a promise to Yumichika. His mind felt like it was being subjected to some cruel and unusual Mayuri experiment and it would soon split apart via its own accord. He had broken a promise. He should not have left.
Che. He really hated admitting that he was wrong.