Chapter Two: Diary
Elena returned her gaze to the garden as the young man sat down. They remained in awkward silence for nearly five minutes before the young man spoke.
"Hello, my name is Stefan," he said, extending his hand to her. She starred at him blankly for a moment and then reached her hand out to meet his. Elena noticed that Stefan looked as if he was waiting for her to share her name as well. He must not know, she thought.
Elena retracted her hand and looked away from him, signaling to him that she had no intentions of speaking.
"I just moved into the boarding house yesterday," he shared. "Mrs. Flowers has been so kind to me." To that, Elena nodded. She liked Mrs. Flowers. She never felt guilty for not speaking to her. They had an understood relationship. Mrs. Flowers kept her company, and Elena listened to her stories.
Nearly ten minutes passed before Stefan spoke again, "Am I bothering you? Because, if I am, I can leave. You were here first. It's only fair."
Elena shifted her head to look at him. She hated it when people didn't know, when people just thought she was being unfriendly or rude. She shook her head.
Stefan took this as an invitation to stay and nodded in appreciation.
They both sat in silence for quite some time before Stefan rose from the bench. "I need to be going now. It was nice sitting with you." Elena smiled back up at him just before he departed.
Dear Diary,
I met someone new today. His name is Stefan. He looks to be about my age. He has dark hair and these amazing green eyes. His body is in fantastic shape too.
Two years later and I still feel guilty for looking at other men. It's just… Matt meant so much to me. I know we were going to spend our lives together, I just know it. But now, Matt's gone and I'm just… here.
Sometimes I wonder what I should do with my life. I can't go on like this forever. I can't keep living in my old world. But part of me just wants everything to stay the same. I've had enough change in my life.
I like it here at the boarding house. If I don't want to be around people I can just stay in my room. I don't even have to go out to the grocery store because Mrs. Flowers does all of our shopping for us. I don't want to leave here. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to move on and accept what's happened.
When Aunt Judith first put me in therapy after it happened, I almost wanted to laugh. She thought if she just took me to some shrink they could fix me, fix everything that happened. Well they can't. No one can fix what happened. No one can bring Matt back.
After two months of forcing me to go to therapy once a week Aunt Judith finally stopped making me go. The therapist wasn't even able to get a single word out of me.
I think one of the best decisions Aunt Judith ever made was when she chose to send me here. She had been friends with Mrs. Flowers for quite some time and she understood the "situation" as Aunt Judith liked to call it. She thought it would have been good for me to get away- to escape reality. And it was, but it still doesn't mean I'm going to be holding up my end of a conversation anytime soon.
I really don't think anyone will ever understand. No one has seen what I have seen. They weren't there that night. They don't know.
Elena