I sighed as I sat down at the Feast; it felt good to be back at school, where nothing could faze me. I could use my work to block out everything going on. I looked at the teacher's table; Severus sat, not really smiling, but not nessicarily frowning, either. As I grinned at him, he looked the other way. MgGonagall made eye-contact with me, but imidiately, I broke it. She never liked me, as I hardly pass Transfiguration. God only knows how I managed to scrape an "E" on O.W.L.s.

"I can't believe it!" complained a familiar blonde sitting two chairs from MgGonagall, "They made me ride with the first years in the boats! And they splashed me! They said it was 'fun to splash the blonde girl!'"

"Lola," said the brown-haired Juliet, in the middle, "I have a confession; I paid them to do it." She poked her tongue out the corner of her mouth.

"You're horrible, Juls," said Lola, punching her twin in the arm. "Just horrible."

"Yes, I know," said Julie, "But I don't regret it; best three galleons each ever!"

I laughed at my American cousins as my eyes drifted to Gryffindor table. I saw my other cousin, Chris, sitting in the seats usually belonging to Fred and George. I ventured he was saying he'd be the new prankster around here. Once again, Chris had taken on too much. He was very much like my father, who worked about three jobs, not because we needed the money, but because he loved them. The first, of course, being magic. Helping the Ministry and that sort of thing. Second was his law firm. He didn't go to Law School after Hogwarts for nothing. The third and final job wasn't his to begin with; He ran the Orphanedge my mother had spent so much effort into bringing to life. Sara's Home for Twins, as it was named, was created so twins wouldn't be separated in the adoption process. I suppose twins were important to her, considering she was one. A tear rolled down my cheeks as I thought of my parents.

Next I let my eyes drift to Draco, who sat beside me. He smiled, but obviously wanted me to quit staring. I rolled my eyes and looked away.

I looked up at Dumbledore, who, despite a horrible thing that surely happened to his hand, looked as powerful, as magestic, as ever. Albus Dumbledore was the strongest man I knew, without a doubt, and as long as he was here, I was safe. Even if the Death Eaters found out about me, I was safe with Dumbledore. The Ministry would be no help, obviously. I didn't even count as human anymore. I, along with Remus, was in the "Beast" category, as it had been. I felt it was wrong to have to change what I am after all these years of being human. About a year ago was when it happened. It was summer. Harry had just tied the Triwizard Tournament with Juliet, who had been Champion from the American school in Salem. The Dark Lord had just returned.

"Remus, wait up!" a fifteen-year-old me said, "I've got short legs!"

"Maybe you should grow a little, then," Remus teased. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Maybe I'm perfect sized," I shot back, "And you all need to shrink."

"Yes, that's logical," said Remus sarcastically, "The error isn't in one person, but the rest. Marvelous job, Sophia."

"I know, it's a gift," I laughed. I kept walking, not paying attention; unaware he had stopped until I walked into his back. "What the heck, man!?" I added in protest.

"Shh," Remus whispered, "Don't speak, and don't move.." I did as I was told, and stood perfectly still, hidden behind my godfather.

"Well, if it isn't Remus John Lupin," said a terrifying voice unknown to me, "How are you doing?"

"Do I know you?" Remus asked of this man who I could not see.

"Do you know me?!" He shrieked in laughter, "You don't remember?"

"No," said Remus cautiously, "Should I?"

"I'd say so!" the man replied, "Do you think you are what you are for nothing?!"

"I... don't follow," Remus said, confused.

"Oh, come on, Boy!" said this cruel, husky voice of a man, "How do you think you got those scars?"

"You...?!" Remus sputtered, trying to hold in his real rage, for he knew if he moved even to draw his wand, I'd be seen behind him.

"The name's Fenrir Greyback," stated the man, "Perhaps you've heard of me." Instead of replying, Remus focused his energy on not drawing his wand, so he added, "Sorry it had to be that way, but your father displeased me, and you tasted so good.."

"Displeased you?!" Remus repeated, understanding fully what this monster was saying. I couldn't stop myself from leaning just a little ways out to the side to look at this cruel creature standing before us. After all, what could just a little bit hurt?

His features were wolflike, most likely caused by giving into his wild-side every full moon. Eyes that almost made a person want to die, then and there. His hair looked thick and hard, just as the fur on a wolf. My God, what a horrible sight he was.

"Hey, who's that you've got behind you?" said Greyback, and I had been spotted. "Is that a little girl? Did you bring me a snack?"

"I most certainly didn't!" said Remus instantly. I tried to hide behind him again, but it was too late. The moon came out from behind a cloud, and there stood a werewolf before me. Remus, of course, had taken his wolfsbane that evening. Claws and teeth came at me, and then, I knew nothing.

The next thing I could recall was St. Mungos. I woke up, half-consious, having trouble listening to Remus talking to the healer. I heard something about, "Put her down," to which Remus erupted with anger, his faced distorted with his own horrible memories from when this had happened to him.

"R-Remus?" I stuttered, "Wh-what happened?"

"You got hurt, Sophie," he whispered to me, "Greyback hurt you.. Y-you're... like me now.."

"L-like you..?" I tried to understand, "What does that-..."

"You're a werewolf, Sophia," Remus said in a low tone. Remorse obviously filled his voice, and tears slid down his face, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm a-a werewolf?" I asked. I didn't understand, as my brain was having trouble, "H-how?"

"Greyback bit you," said Remus bitterly, "Just like he bit me when I was young."

I looked at my hands, they were thoroughly bloody, to which Remus added, "Considering you didn't use your wand, you put up a good fight."

"Wh-where's Dad?" I asked, noticing the emptiness of the room; it was just me and Remus. "Where's everybody?"

"Your father's busy, Sophia," said Remus solomnly, "That's why you were with me this summer to begin with. I don't know who you mean by 'everybody', but most of the people we know haven't been told yet."

"Well," I said positively, "A-at least I know how to make wolfsbane." He hugged me tightly, and told me I was brave. However many times he said it, I still knew he was wrong. The brave face I wore was a mask, and inside, I was sobbing.

Not knowing, or caring, how I got to this memory, I silently let a few tears run down my cheeks. This memory that I had locked away for so long, now resurfacing. I noted to myself that my father was absent in this major moment in my life; he was absent in most of them. I felt horrible about it, yes, but I still thought of it just the same.

"Sophie?" Draco said, bringing me back to reality, and out of my horrible memories, "Are you okay?"

I couldn't speak. I could hardly breathe. All I could do was, first, hug my cousin, and second, cry. Many people stared at me, but I couldn't have cared less.

"Errr...." Draco stuttered, not knowing what to say and patting my back awkwardly, "There, there?"

"Excuse me," said Professor MgGonagall, holding the sorting hat above some first-year, as if she was about to place it, "You're interupting the sorting, Miss Lupin. If something is the matter, please consult your head-of-house imediately." Draco walked me up to Severus, who took me to his office.

"What is going on, Sophia?" asked Severus once we were alone. Just as with Draco, I couldn't speak. I cried and pulled my arms around Severus. He added, "You need to speak to me."

"I-I can't do it a-anymore, Severus!" I sobbed pathetically, just letting everything out, "I-It's too hard... It hurts t-too much.."

"Are you referring to being a Death Eater spy," said he, "Or just living in general?"

"Both," I said, still crying. "I-I need Dad... I n-need Sirius..."

"They will only be gone from you when you stop believing they loved you," Severus said. His confidence in his own words shined, despite how awkward he was feeling.

"Dad didn't love me," I said plainly, "H-he was too busy to even know me. A-and Sirius... He loved m-me because I'm S-Sara's daughter.."

"Your father would hate to hear you speak with such an ill tongue," said Severus, very defensive for his lost best friend, "He gave you everything he could and this is the thanks he receives?"

"I didn't mean to-..." I stared, but Severus cut me off.

"You didn't mean to. That makes it no better, Sophia," said he, "I suggest you pay him some respect."

"Severus, I'm not trying to be disrespectful!" I protested loudly, nearly shouting, "I pay him all the respect in the world!"

"Then show it." said Severus finally, "If you are done crying, and can keep quiet for sorting, I suggest we return to the Great Hall."

"I-I'm not going back in there," I said, as tears once again flooded my eyes, "I can't do it."

"Why not?" asked Severus, "Is something else bothering you?"

I nodded and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "I-I'm scared.."

"Of what?" was his entire response.

"Wh-what if I'm found out?" I asked, sobbing again, "I-I know n-nobody's gonna protect me e-except maybe Draco o-or Aunt N-Narcissa..."

"Sophia, listen to me closely," said Severus seriously, "If you are consious of the risks while you're around them, they suspect more. If you convince yourself you're one of them, if only while you're around them, they won't know a thing."

"B-but what if..." I had to whisper the final part; "What if someone tells?"

"If you've only told those you trust the most," he replied, "No one would dare tell."

I nodded, gaining a little more confidence in those I've entrusted. "Do we have to go back in there?"

"I suppose not," said Severus with a sigh, "We can sit in here until afterwards."

"Oh, wonderful!" I said, smiling, and embracing him. Having a godfather was such a good thing.

We sat there, just talking, heart-to-heart. Equals. Such a good man, was Severus. I sat there, half-listening, and half-thinking to myself about how wonderful he was. Some people would take this the wrong way, but I've known him since I was born, so it wasn't in any way romantic. I had thought of him once before in that way, but I was five, and I'd taken a mouthful of the strongest of love-potions. Not the funnest of memories. In any case, that's how it was, until after the dinner was over, when he motioned me away. I smiled at him and took my leave.

I saw Harry, who had been absent at the sorting as well as I had, in the hallway. He had blood on his face.

"Harry?" I asked, suprised at the dried blood, not that he wasn't always somehow injured. Just because he was the Boy-Who-Lived didn't make him the Boy-Who-Doesn't-Bleed, "Is that your blood? What happened?"

"I tell you what happened!" Harry shouted at me, furious, "Your damn git cousin, that's what!"

"What are y-.." I started.

"I'm talking about on the train!" fumed Harry, "He stayed behind to investigate me in the compartment!"

"How'd you know he was staying behi-..." I said, but was again cut off.

"I was under my damn invisibilty cloak!" Harry angrily replied, "He heard me or something! He blasted me, moved my cloak, and then stomped on my face!"

"....Why were you in the Slytherin compartment?" was all I could ask. I didn't say anything about how out-of-line Draco was.

"So you're siding with him?!" Harry accused. His words cut like daggers, "Fine! I don't care! I don't want you around, anyway! You're probably just telling Voldemort everything we say! Whose side are you on, Sophie?!"

The accusations Harry had just brought into the conversation stung too sharply to pass off as simple anger towards Draco being unleashed on me; this meant he had been thinking it privately, telling no one.

Unless Hermione and Ron knew.

Of course. They all must've been in agreement. They thought I'd changed. They thought I'd gone to the other side.

"Harry, how could yo-..!?" I said, tears stinging my eyes.

"How could I, what, Sophie?!" Harry interupted, "Know the truth? We aren't stupid!"

We. They did know.

"Y'know what, Potter?!" I said, trying not to break into tears, "You're a foul git, to be accusing me of these things! Don't you know I'm ready to die for you?! For Hermione and the Weasleys and Remus and Tonks?! All of them! I'd die right now if it helped!"

"If you're on Voldemorts side," said Harry coldly, "You might as well just go ahead and die."

That set me off. "Damn it, Potter! I'm trying to help you! If you don't want me, if you want me dead, then maybe I'll just die!" I ran away, angry, and yet in tears.

I ran into the girls bathroom, in which, Hermione was just leaving. "Oh, Sophia!" said Hermione happily, then she frowned, "What's wrong?"

"Y-you bloody well know what's wr-wrong!" I shouted, tears blurring my version and judgement.

"I do?" Hermione said, confused, "Could you, er, remind me, then?"

"Don't a-act like you don't know!" I said, practically screaming at her, "You and Ron and that damn Potter boy s-sure know how to stab a girl in the back!" I said that. It came out of my mouth. And yet the harsh, feelingless voice who spoke sounded unfamiliar, even to me.

"Sophie, what are you talking about?" said she, as innocent as she sounded.

"You a-all think I'm a Death Eater!" I yelled, no longer really crying as I let anger block out my sorrow, "Damn it, Granger! You think I'm like them! A real Death Eater!"

"I don't think that at all, Sophie!" Hermione tried to protest, "Neither does Ron."

"Oh, not denying it's what Potter thinks?" I asked loudly, "Must be because I'm right, huh?"

When she didn't reply, I demanded, "Do you defend me? Defend me to him the way you're defending Weasley to me?"

Hermione paused a minute, obviously shocked at the question. "Of course I do!" she said when she finally spoke.

"Took you a minute to reply, Granger," I said, "Have to think up a sincere enough sounding lie?"

"Sophie!" Hermione gasped, "How could you think... You're practically my sister!"

"No, Granger, I'm not practically your sister," I snapped, "If I was your sister, you'd do a hell of a lot better job defending me!"

"I defend you as I would a sister!" she said quickly, not even pausing after I finished my sentence.

A thought whisped through my mind, and I heard, in the voice of Bellatrix, "C'mon, Little Sophie. Do it. Call her Mudblood."

"I-I won't do it!" I replied to the voice. I knew this wasn't Legilimency, or even any spell; it was me, just using her voice.

"You ought to!" said Bellatrix in my mind, "After all, it's what she is; she deserves it."

"Sh-she's my best friend!" I shouted, grabbing my head.

"Sophie?" Hermione asked, concerned deeply.

"Do it! Make Aunt Bella proud!" she beckoned in my brain.

"I won't!" I screamed, "Get out of my.. head!" I fell to the ground on my knees, wrestling inside with this urge to be a real Slytherin.

"She's a Mudblood!"

"She's just muggleborn! It means nothing!"

"It means everything!"

"No!"

Deeply breathing, the fight was over; I beat my inner Black. Hermione put her hand on my shoulder caringly, and smiled at me. She knew I wasn't mad at her; I could never be mad at her.

"Harry's such a prat," I said finally.

"He can be sometimes," she agreed, "But only because he's worried. He doesn't want anyone else to... y'know..."

"He doesn't want anyone to what, Hermione?" I asked, "Die?"

She nodded, so I said, "Hermione, he told me to die. He said I might as well just die."

"That doesn't sound like Harry at all," said Hermione, as shock ripped across her face.

"Yeah, well," I said, sort of coldly, "Harry doesn't sound like Harry anymore..."

"Well, let's get out of here," she said, patting my back, "We should both be getting to our dormitories."

I hugged my friend goodbye and went down to Slytherin Common Room. Everyone else was already in their respective places, but I dared not go up to the girls room, as none of them got along with me too well. In fact, the only Slytherin who liked me at all was Draco. Instead, I just let myself fall onto the couch, curled up, and rummaged through my bags, looking for my two-way mirror. Much like the ones James and Sirius had when they were young, I kept mine with me at all times, in case I needed to contact the holder of its pair; Remus. I turned it on, and was somewhat suprised at what I found.

He must've had the mirror on a table or something, as all I could see was his ceiling. Dispite this lack of picture, I heard two recognizeable voices; one of Remus, one of Tonks.

"Remus, I don't care!" Tonks said in reply to something I hadn't heard. Her voice told me she'd been crying, or maybe still was.

"But I do, Nymphadora," said Remus, obviously trying to finish the conversation.

"Give me a chance, please!" Tonks begged.

"I can't," Remus said, sounding final, "I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't," said Tonks tearfully, "Sophie said you loved me. And I love you! Why do you have to be this way?"

"Sophia has been saying too much," Remus replied, "This is how it must be. I truly am sorry. Perhaps if things were different, it would change, but it can't."

Tonks sniffled, then said, "...You're mirror's on."

Remus walked over to it, and I saw him pick up the mirror as he said, "Sophia, what are you doing?" He noticed my puffy, red eyes. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm... not sure," I said, "What's going over there? I heard Tonks."

"W-wotcher, Soph," said Tonks, trying to fake a smile since I could see her now. Her hair was gray. Still.

"Have you been crying, Sophie?" Remus asked tenderly.

"Yes," I said honestly, "Practically constantly, but that's beside the point. Are you still being an idiot, Remus?"

"I'm not being an idiot!" Remus protested.

Tonks mouthed, "Yes."

"Why have you been crying?" Remus asked, obviously preferring to discuss my problems than his own.

"Why have you been stupid?" I asked in response. I was hoping to make Tonks laugh, or at least smile, but I didn't.

"Sophia..." was Remus' reply, "You didn't call to talk about me. What's going on?"

"Fine, then, we'll talk about me," I said, "Harry told me to die."

"Harry did?" Remus tried to comprehend, "Why?" I told him about everything Harry and I had said.

"Oh, right," said Tonks, "Good thing I found him on the train.." He didn't mention to me that Tonks had been the one to find him.

"Well, Sophia," said Remus, "Being a spy means having people who doubt you on both sides. I suppose you just didn't expect Harry to be one of those people."

"Of course I didn't!" I said, almost snapping, "Would you have thought, if you were a spy, that James would suspect you of turning? It's just the same!"

"I understand you're upset, Soph," said Tonks firmly, "But don't take it out on Remus."

"Sorry," I said, "I'm just crazy with rage right now... Stupid Potter!"

"No need for name-calling, Sophia," said Remus seriously. "But I see your point."

"Thank you!" I said, sort of relieved by his understanding, "It's about time somebody did!"

"As for now, you should be getting to sleep," Remus said, then added, "We all should be getting to sleep." I think the last part was more of a hint he wanted Tonks to leave.

"Whatever," I said, "G'night!" I put the mirror in my bag, but didn't turn it off. I waited unstead until about twenty minutes later, when Tonks, after another few rounds of arguement with Remus, finally left. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning, I got up from the couch in the Common Room where I'd fallen asleep, got dressed, brushed me teeth; the usual. My hair was a bit messier than usual, but I didn't care; my major relief was that, for the first time in a long time, I hadn't woken up screaming. By the dream I'd had that night, if I'd've been screaming, it would've been because it ended. It was odd, and it re-awakened thoughts I hadn't had since my third year: thoughts of Percy Weasley. True, I spent most of my first, second, and third years fancying him, but I was over that now. I'd even dated someone else during fourth and fifth, ending if only hours before the episode at the Ministry. My ex-boyfriend, Lee Jordan, hadn't taken it so well.

In any case, that was how it was. I'd dreamed of seeing myself with Percy. Maybe it was just something about staying in his room and looking through his things that made me dream oddly. I knew I was probably much too young for his tastes. After all, I was only sixteen, and he was, what, twenty now? I sighed, thinking of how brutally he'd reject me if I did anything. But wait, I didn't like him! Did I? I was so confused. And besides, even if I fancied him again, which I wasn't sure I did, didn't he still have a girlfriend? Penelope Clearwater? Never liked her.

And yet, in his Hogwarts album, he had written, "Beautiful eyes. Wish she was older." Does that mean if I had been born just a few years earlier, things would be different? Argh. I didn't want to think about this; after all, he was Ron's brother. Ron's annoying, git older brother. He'd hate me if I tried anything.

How did I get to this subject again? I shook myself clear of all these thoughts and left the Common Room, escaping to an early breakfast. Sure, everything was set up, as it was after six thirty, but no one usually came down until around seven thirty. I suppose the food stayed warm all that time with magic.

After my, I thought, well-earned breakfast, I excused myself to the Quidditch field. Not that I could do anything, since there's no possible way to Keep without someone to be Chaser. I sighed, and fled to the Potions class room; true, it was seven in the morning, and not even Severus was here yet, but this room was where I grew up; where I belonged.

"Miss Lupin?" asked a somewhat familiar voice, and I spun around. Professor Slughorn stood before me with a quite confused expression.

"Professor Slughorn?" I asked, doing that little head-tilt I tend to do, "What are you doing here?"

"Preparing the Potions lesson, Dear!" Slughorn boomed, "The question is why you're in my classroom."

"I'm-.." I started, then had to think, "Wait.. Your classroom? Severus is Potions Master.."

"Oh, no one told you?" said Slughorn, "He's teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts now."

"...Wha?!" I sputtered.

"Well, go ahead and take a seat; everyone else will be here in about fourty-five minutes."

That lesson was very odd, once everyone arrived. The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Kick-The-Bucket was somehow creating the potion faster than I; never had I once been beaten at anything Potions related! After a few moments of thinking between steps, as each step was wrong in some way, I knew I'd done everything right, but he finished before me! No way could he have known what he was doing, could he?

After Potions for me was free period. I had a lot of those, as I was only taking about six classes. I knew exactly what I was doing with this break. Severus had a break this hour, as well.

I pounded on his office door, and kept pounding a moment after he opened it.

"Ow?" he said.

"What the hell, Severus?!" I yelled after I invited myself inside.

"Watch your mouth on school grounds, Sophia," Severus scolded.

"You're teaching D.A.D.A?!" I demanded.

"Yes," said he with a smirk, "Slughorn's a quite quailified Potions teacher. He's the man who taught me, after all."

"You know what happens to the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!" I said loudly, choking up. The urge to fight back tears caused my voice to lower to a whisper. "Bad things!"

"You are over-reacting," Severus said, as if he thought it would calm me down.

"You're under-reacting!" I protested, folding my arms acrossed my chest.

"Oh, don't throw a tantrum," he said plainly, "You're much too old for that."

"Maybe I wanna throw a tantrum," I replied, poking out my bottom lip.

"Sophia, I will be fine teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts," Severus said, "After all, I am an adult. I can take care of myself."

"No you can't! You need me to tell you when you're being stupid!" I said, then pulled his robes to get him down to my eye-level. "You're being stupid!"

"Sophia, this is quite enough; now go get ready for your next class," said Severus, obviously trying to rid himself of me.

"My next class is..." I consulted my schedule, "Oh, what do you know? Defence Against the Dark Arts. I hope you don't plan on me having a career."

"What do you mean?" said he, "Why shouldn't I plan on it? We both know you're getting whatever career you want."

"Oh, nothing," I said with a smirk. "Nothing at all..."
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