A/N: This chappie isn't for the immature. If you can't deal with awkward conversations about.. adult things.. this chappie is not for you. You have been warned :P
Scraper was off taking my letter to Percy, and I couldn't sit still. My fingers jittered, my leg bounced, and the rest of me just sort of had to go along with the ride. Deciding the so-called "stillness" was driving me mad, I stood up and skipped to Severus's office. The walk (or rather, skip) was long, but I had almost too much energy, so it was okay. Plus, I was in too good a mood to even care. My skip turned to a run half-way there, which caused me to trip, which caused me to slow back to a skip again. Eventually, I arrived in Severus's office.
I glanced around suspitiously. It was suprisingly messy and unorginized, a very un-Severus-like sight. His desk was coated in papers, and some scattered themselves across the floor. All of his candles were out, but still smoking. His desk chair was spun around, not pushed in, and just plain in the way. A picture had fallen from the wall and now sat against the floor, the glass shattered. It wasn't a magic picture, though. It was a muggle picture. The lady in the picture had green eyes and red hair. She was really pretty. I felt she was familiar, like we shared something, like I knew her, but I couldn't put my finger on how.
"Sophia?" asked Severus's cold voice from behind me. I felt his breath on the back of my neck, and the hairs stood on end. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here."
"Severus!" I spun around, accidentally stepping on the picture of the beautiful woman. He cringed involentarily.
"What," he said, "are you doing here?"
"I needed to ask you something," I said calmly, "I would like permission to leave grounds this weekened. Saturday, actually."
"Where will you be going?" he asked, his voice like daggars, cutting the air on its way to my ears, "If you are asking, you surely have somewhere specific in mind?"
"I'm going to visit Tonks," I lied quickly. My face stayed straight, unlike when I usually lied to him. I didn't want him knowing where I was really going. "I need to be there at four-thirty."
"Odd, visiting your cousin on Valentine's Day.." Severus said, the statement an accusation in itself.
"Trying to hook her up with my-.. with Remus," I explained.
"Ah," he said, "Well, as your head-of-house, I suppose it would be all right. What time will you be arriving, so I know to open the doors?"
"About ten," I said.
"Ten it is," Severus nodded, "No later. Go, then, do whatever it is that you are putting off to be here."
February fourteenth came 'round in a heartbeat. Around four o' clock, I left the grounds to be at Tonks' house by four-thirty. I had a plan.
At four-twenty I sprang up her driveway, running as fast as possible. A moment later, I pounded on her door quickly, anxiously, in such a rush I'd never known before. I kept pounding, even after the door opened.
"Ow!" she said, at which I stopped. "Oh, wotcher, Soph. What are you doing here?"
"I need your help," I said quickly, then stepped inside hastily.
"With what?" Tonks asked.
"So, there's this boy..." I began. "I really like him. Actually, I love him."
"Wow! Congratulations, Soph!" Tonks faked cheer. She was upset about Remus, clear by her mousy hair.
"He's out of school.. I told Severus I was coming here.. I'm going to his place.." I explained, "If anybody asks you, I want you to lie and say that I was here. Please?"
"Sure, Soph, no problem!" she smiled, "But, can I ask who will be there?"
"Just me and him," I said dreamily.
"Soph... You should.. Just be... Make sure..." she stuttered. Her facial expressions gave away what my cool cousin wanted to say clearly: "CONDOM!"
"If you're trying to discuss... that.. don't worry! He's not the type to just jump into.. that.. when I'm still in school. He would never pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do," I reassured.
Tonks raised an eyebrow. "It's not him I'm worried about, Sophia."
I laughed; I couldn't help it! "Oh, Tonks! Little ol' me?!" She gave me the, "are you serious?" look, so I added in a haste, "He would never go that far, even if I wanted to."
"All right," Tonks grinned, "Go then. Have fun. Be back to school on time."
"I will, I promise!" I squeeled, hugged her, then apparated to Percy's, excitement whelling up inside me, ready to burst. I was ready for it to burst, and relying on it. *****___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I managed to not splinch myself, and by six to five, I was outside Percy's apartment building. As I walked to his apartment, my heart pounded in my ears and my breath came in faster, shorter pants. Eventually, I came to his door. It was three to five. My hand trembled, and I was afraid to knock. Maybe it was a trick? Maybe he just wanted to break my heart? No, I knew him better than that. A Weasley would, and could, never purposely hurt anyone. It wasn't in their nature. I sucked it up, all my doubt, fear, and hurt, and knocked on the door. Instantly, it flew open, as if he had been waiting for me.
"Sophia!" Percy beamed, "So glad you came! Y'know it's two minutes after, and I was beginning to think you'd decided not to come."
"Oh, Percy," I smiled, "You talk too much." And so I shut him up. A minute later, he blushed and invited me inside. Gladly, I entered. His apartment was everything I expected: simple, beautiful, and, most of all, clean. He sat down on his couch, and I sat next to him, so close I could feel his breath. Faking a yawn, I let my head droop on his shoulder.
"So, what are we doing today?" I sighed.
"Watching muggle movies," he replied, "I've never watched one before, but you might have."
I smiled. "Of course I have. They're great. What movie?"
"I found one called, 'Titanic'," said Percy. "Is that one okay?"
"Sure!" I said happily, though I hated the movie. It was long and boring (no offence to fans of the movie.) But, anyway, this was how it was. As the movie came on, I lifted my wand and a bowl of popcorn flew in to us. Happily, we sat munching until we ran out five minutes into the movie. The movie ran until about eight, at which time another was put in, but this time, a better movie. A timeless classic; Disney's Snow White.
It was when my eyelids grew heavy during the opening credits that I realized I didn't sleep very well the night before. At three A.M. my eyes snapped open and wouldn't be shut. I'd been too anxious. I pulled at my skirt, so very short, and the pattern ruffled. I lost track of everything while pulling that darn skirt, and my eyelids slid down, covering everything in sight with black and nothingness.
The next thing I knew, my eyes flicked open again. Percy sat, asleep, still under my cradled head. I sat up, stretched, and looked at my badly wrinkled clothes. The sun was glaring in through the window, as if to say, "Well, hello!" The clock read ten after seven, so it was day, the fifteenth. The grass was beautiful and green outside. The day was perfect until I realized something: it was day, and I had promised to be back at school nine hours previous.
"Percy!" I said, shaking him awake, "I have to go! We fell asleep!" I kissed his still dazed lips and disapparated. I was at the edge of school grounds, right before the aparation barrier. I had to walk the rest of the way.
There I was, standing outside the gate to get to the castle. In the cold. By myself. And then I was found. By Filch. He saw me, smirked, and stalked over towards the gate. Eyeing himself cautiously, I waved. There was nothing else to do.
"What," he said, cackling to himself (the crazy old squib), "is a lazy thing like you doing locked out of grounds this early on a Sunday morning?"
"Feeling sorry for myself?" I answered, my lower lip formed into a pout.
"Right you are," Filch smirked. He unlocked the door, and I stepped in. He grabbed me by the collar and practically dragged me up to the castle, through the hallways, and to Severus's office. Once there, Filch pushed me to the ground. At least I kicked his cat the night before..
"Right on time," Severus said sarcastically as he put away his watch.
"I can explain," I started as I got up most of the way. Filch pushed me back down.
"What kept you all night?" Severus demanded. "I told you ten o' clock to be back!"
"Okay, so this is what happened," I tried to explain coolly, "Tonks and I were watching a movie, and we fell asleep." It was partly true, just it wasn't Tonks. So it wasn't a real lie, right?
"Do not make excuses with me, Sophia!" he snapped, and Filch grinned at my suffering, showing his ugly yellow teeth, "I want the truth! Were you even with Tonks at all?!"
"Yes!" I replied hastily and honestly, "I was with Tonks!" Cringing for reasons unknown to me, my arms had flown up in front of my body and face protectively.
"Lies! Quit lying to me, lies do not work!" Severus growled, "Tell me the truth!"
"I am!" I insisted, and the next thing I knew, I was flying across the room, then I hit the wall, my crumpled form slid down to the floor. A red, hand-shaped mark made itself present across my cheek.
He hit me.
The realization sunk in like food poisoning. It hurt as I choked back tears and tried to let myself accept the fact at the same time.
"Sophia.." Severus said, quite in a panic at hurting me, "I didn't mean to.." Tears threatened to roll down my cheeks, at which he added, in almost a pleading tone, "Please do not cry.." His plea was in vain as the tears streaked down. I closed my eyes and sat in silence, ignoring all the words spoken.
"Sophia, stand, I beg you," he quivered. With only a glare, he shooed Filch from his office. Severus didn't want him to see him cry. I did nothing, not even move. Severus choked on his own breath. He didn't find the power to exhale until I did, deeply.
"I just... want.. the truth," he said slowly, "It's qu-quite important that I know where you were. Otherwise, I am required to call your guardian, Remus."
"I was with Tonks," I said with finality, lifting my head up and opening my eyes. I stared hard at him, then softened to ask coolly, "May I go now, Professor?"
Isn't it amazing how much damage simple words can do? All I said was, "May I go now, Profesor?" but it struck him as hard as if I had used much worse words. I had never referred to him as "Professor" before, even in class. It was Severus. No arguement, no discussion, Severus. The end.
"Yes, go to your dormitory," he sighed, cut down inside, "Change your clothes before someone sees you, as you're wearing the same clothes you were yesterday.."
"Good advice," I replied before rushing out the door. I stopped two steps outside, spun back around, and hugged my godfather tightly and wordlessly. Then I let go and went to Slytherin Common Room, and then to my room. *****___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
For no real reason, perhaps it was boredom, I decided to shift through my trunk. Inside my trunk still were things I never used, looked at, or even needed, but always kept with me. These things were the following: an old teddy bear, a picture of me with Juliet and Lola in which I'm eight years old and Julie is giving me bunny-ears, a brass necklace my mother wore, and her favorite dress. I looked around to see if anyone else was in the room. No one was. I pulled out the dress and changed into it. Then I danced. Carelessly, I breezed about my corridors. The music playing only in my mind instructed me how to move like the voice of an instructor. My arms fluttered around until the landed on the pocket of the dress. It felt fat, so I let my hand sneek inside. The contents of the pocket felt papery, so I pulled them out. After looking it over only a moment, it sunk in; these were the missing pages from Mum's diary. Instantly, I slid down and, sitting on the cold floor, read them.
School can cause dreadful things. People at school can cause even worse things. An example of this is what James and Sirius (Bless the idiots) chose to do today. Today, they ruined the life of Severus Snape.
One this is for sure; that boy loves my best friend Lily. Another thing is certain; James does, too. Lily, I think, must care for both somewhere. If she didn't care about Snape to begin with, she wouldn't have stuck up for him. If she didn't care about James, she'd have blasted him to bits. So, yes, Lily was a confused, sad little girl.
This dreadful day began like normal. It was after classes, after Quidditch practice ("Prongs, the future professional Quidditch player!") James and his sidekick Sirius decided to mess with Snape. Petti-screw-up followed, the pet that he is. Remus witnessed the event, but pretended not to by reading a book. A most clever cover, as books were his favorite hobby. Jake wasn't in sight. I will forever wonder what could have happened if he'd been there. Perhaps he could have stopped his friends from this crime against his other friend?
Sirius set off the event: "I'm bored." That began the termoil. James drew his wand and stalked threateningly up to Snape, who backed off, but James, Sirius, and their shadow Peter followed. Snape asked, or rather told, them to go away, but James, with a flick of the wand, had Snape upside down. Lily ran in sometime, commanding James to put down her friend. Snape called her a Mudblood. Lily ran. I don't know exactly what happened, I wasn't there. Everyone claimed I was, but I wasn't.
I found Lily in the hall a few minutes after said events. She was bawling. I asked what was wrong, and she yelled that I knew. When I said I didn't, she informed me between sobs. And so I took matters into my own hands.
I found Snape, scum that I thought he was, a little bit later. I wanted to hurt him, and, luckily for me, I had a potions textbook with me at the time. I ran up and hit him severely across the face, leaving a large red mark, which turned to a bruise.
"You idiot!" I shouted, "How could you do that to my best friend!?"
"I deserve everything you do," he said quietly as I swung again. I just barely heard him, but I understood what he said well enough. I stopped my swing inches from his skull.
"You.. what?" I stumbled, not comprehending the situation.
"I said some bad things, but it slipped out. I didn't mean to say it. I would never hurt her on purpose," said Snape, "All I receive, I deserve. But, perhaps, she may forgive me. God, I pray it be so."
"You called her a Mudblood!" I shrieked, "How does that 'slip out'?"
"You've slipped it out before," he replied coldly.
"I have to call her names around my family, mind you, or I'll be disowned!" I said, nearly in tears, "I-I can't live without my family! You've no excuse!"
"I know," was all he said. "Could you tell her I'm sorry? Ask her to forgive me? Please?" For once, I saw the innocent, young boy with big, scared eyes Lily had always told me was inside of him. I pitied him and, for once, had to control myself so as not to hug him.
That was the end of the entry. It all made sense now. Severus was friends with Lily, but he messed it all up. Severus was so honest with Mum that she couldn't help but feel bad for him. I felt connected to her, just reading this. I'd never really known her. I tried to convince everyone I hated her, and even convinced myself of it for a while. This hatred, all this hatred I pushed outward to show the world I wasn't like her, was a lie. It was my way of grieving I guess. She left on declared "suicide," even though I doubt it was her. I still clinged to the thought it was Bellatrix's fault. Some way. Some how. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A/N: So yeah it's a shortie. But, hey, see that review button? Everytime you read a story and don't click that button, Dumbledore rapes a student. Please, think of the children!!