Three Years Later
Remus stared at his daughter's unicorn-shaped birthday cake, marveling at how quickly time had passed. One moment, he was at Teddy's 5th birthday party, when they'd been able to escape their stint at Hogwarts to celebrate at the Burrow. The next moment, they were in the garden of their Northumberland home, celebrating the same milestone, but for Hope. Teddy was now an eight-year-old menace, and Hope was his enthusiastic co-conspirator.
The last few years had flown by. Little Weasleys kept being added to the brood, as well as a new Potter, Albus Severus. Remus couldn't help the scoff he'd made upon hearing the boy's name, but he and Tonks gladly accepted the role of godparents to the newest Potter. Little Al had Harry and Lily's bright green eyes, and he was Hope's current favorite baby.
Bill and Fleur added their third child, a son called Louis, in 2004. Two months before Albus was born, Hermione and Ron welcomed their first, a little girl called Rose.
All the other kids were older: his godsons, Denys and Wally, were strapping young lads who were rather popular with their classmates. Denys was almost seventeen; like Remus, he'd been named a Gryffindor prefect ahead of his fifth year. Unlike Remus, however, he'd been named Head Boy ahead of his seventh year. He was the first werewolf in the history of Hogwarts to earn the badge. Wally was almost sixteen and going into his fifth year; his natural talent on the broom led him to making the Ravenclaw Quidditch team in his third year, and he had his eye on becoming Captain when the current one finished her seventh year.
The Field girls, now known as the Wakefield girls, having taken Lottie's surname shortly after they were adopted, were eleven and almost six. Moira would start at Hogwarts in September. Aven was Hope's best friend and vice-versa; the two girls were inseparable, and Remus hoped they'd stay friends when they started at Hogwarts in six years' time.
The tiny Weasley granddaughters who toddled around with Hope at Teddy's 5th birthday were now little girls, capable of making their own mischief and mayhem.
From where he stood, next to the cake, Remus saw the beginnings of trouble when he saw a gaggle of girls, his daughter among them, sneaking up from behind Harry.
Curious as to what they'd do, he didn't stop them.
"Oh, this should be good," said Ginny, standing next to Remus. She held baby Albus on her hip and watched the girls—Victoire, Hope, Molly, Aven, and Kiki—creep closer to Harry.
With a nod to each other, they each pulled on something in their hands.
An explosion of color and sound assaulted Harry. He yelped, tried reaching into his pocket for his wand, but couldn't find it. He was being showered—drowned, more like—with multicolored sprinkles and confetti, while the girls giggled at his plight.
Remus laughed, too, so impressed with the girls' attack on Harry that he hadn't noticed them coming.
Molly, Andromeda, and Lottie took the girls aside, giving Harry some breathing room, and he stomped towards Remus and Ginny, his body now a human rainbow.
"I really shouldn't laugh," Ginny said, chuckling, "but that was worth every Knut."
She pulled out Harry's wand from her pocket and a small, brightly colored box, which bore Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes' crest on it.
"Kaleidoscope in a Box," Remus read, once Ginny gave it to him. "Put a prism of pizazz whenever you please!"
"Five of them at once…" Ginny wheezed and handed Al off to Remus. "I'll help Harry take it all off—if you wouldn't mind."
Ginny went to help Harry with the vibrant explosion. Remus held Al, swaying to the music playing from the wireless, and grinned at seeing Tonks walking in his direction.
"Remus, did you see that?" she called, beaming. She arrived at his side and played a quick game of peek-a-boo with a very giggly Al. She mussed the baby's messy hair and looked up at Remus. "Don't you miss when they were this small?"
She looked wistfully at Al, and then back at Teddy and Hope, who were playing with toys in the grass.
"I don't miss the late night nappy changes…but I understand."
"Angelina and George are expecting again—due in January or February of next year."
"I'll give them my congratulations," Remus replied, his eyes drifting to where Angelina stood, with her three year old son, Fred, zooming in circles around her on his pint-sized broomstick.
"Maybe they'll have a girl this time—"
"Nymphadora!"
Tonks grumbled when Andromeda came over, with her hands covered in rainbow dust and confetti. She immediately launched into a lecture on Tonks's 'lack of discipline' regarding Hope's recent antics. Remus took the moment to extract himself and take a walk with Al.
Tonks's hints over having another child grew less subtle by the day. Remus wasn't entirely opposed to the idea: he loved being a father to his children and was confident he'd enjoy having another little Lupin. He wasn't wholly enthusiastic over it, as he was already 46 years old and felt older than ever.
"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
Hope stopped short of where he was walking with Al. Remus saw that her party dress was streaked with mud and grass; her birthday crown was askew and her shoes were gone. She looked up at him, with an impish grin just like Tonks's, and held her hands out.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can I hold Al?"
"You have to sit first. He's too heavy for you."
Hope plopped herself on the grass and Remus groaned as he bent down to place the baby in her lap. She was a natural with littler ones, having practiced with so many Weasley 'cousins,' and adjusted Al in her arms.
"He's so cute." She cooed at Al, and gazed up at Remus with wide, innocent eyes. "Can we have one?"
Remus frowned at her. "You want a baby?"
"A baby brother. Everyone has a baby brother."
"Not everyone has a baby brother."
"Victoire and Kiki and James do!" Hope's little pout was identical to her mother's. "I want one!"
"I understand," Remus replied gently, "but your mummy and I are very happy with the family we have."
"Can we keep Al?"
Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Al is Harry and Ginny's baby. Besides, if we had another baby, you'd have to share everything with them."
"I already share with Teddy," Hope said. "I can share with a baby."
"It's kind of you to offer, but your mum and I are happy with you and your brother."
"Can I have a baby?" she asked, after a moment's hesitation. "I'll take good care of him, like Jelly!"
Remus sighed. "It's not like having your pygmy puff. You'll have to wait till you're grown up to have your own baby."
Hope scowled at him. "Why can't we have a baby?"
"I already told you, Hope," Remus said, feeling his patience waning. "Your mum and I have you and Teddy, and you're all we need."
"But I want another baby. Why's it just Teddy and me?"
Remus took a deep breath. Hope was at the age of asking too many questions, most of which were answered as 'just because.' This, like the debate over why they couldn't have a live unicorn at her birthday party, wouldn't have a satisfactory answer for the five-year-old.
"Hope!" Tonks shouted. "Hope! It's time for cake!"
Hope almost let baby Albus roll onto the grass in her haste to get to the cake. Remus swiftly picked the baby up, before he could get tangled in Hope's dress, and let her join the others around the table.
Andromeda waved her wand over Hope, removing some of the mud and grass stains on her dress. Hope's messy curls were smoothed down and her crown was righted. Tonks shook her head and scoffed; it was the sort of magic Andromeda regularly used when Tonks was a young girl and made messes of herself.
Teddy, also covered in dirt, joined Hope and got the same charms as his sister. His turquoise spikes had golden tips (he'd seen some Muggle magazine with the hairstyle on it and found he could match it), but they were neat enough for a family picture. Remus finally handed Al off to Ginny. She stood next to Harry, and he still had patches of brightly colored sprinkles stuck to parts of his clothes and hair.
Everyone gathered around to sing to Hope and watch her blow out the five candles on her cake. She demanded the horn of her unicorn-shaped cake, insisting she could eat it all, and so Andromeda and Molly got to cutting the cake into slices for her and everyone around them.
It was a wonderful sight to Remus. The garden had been decorated in an explosion of unicorn and rainbow themed goods, all of Hope's favorite things. A new picture formed in his mind of what the garden could look like next summer, when he and Tonks would celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary.
The rest of the afternoon flew by, with Hope opening her birthday presents, more games being played on the lawn, and the adults relaxing with Firewhisky and Butterbeer. It was past nine o'clock in the evening when everyone finally left, including Andromeda, as she'd helped with cleaning up.
Teddy and Hope, each exhausted by a day full of fun, were tucked into their beds after a good bath. It left Remus and Tonks in their bed, equally exhausted with the day's activities.
"Dora," said Remus, as he turned on his side to look at his wife.
"Yes, love?"
"I had an idea—" He put his hand on her soft waist. "—next year, it'll be our tenth anniversary. I thought, that as we didn't have a big wedding—"
"—big party instead?" Tonks said, grinning. Remus nodded at her.
"Something like what we did today, but with some co-workers, friends, family…?"
"That sounds brilliant, Remus. I might be able to wear the same dress, if mum takes it out a bit." She gestured to her body. While she was quite fit with all her training and work in the Auror department, having two children had given her a few more curves.
Remus didn't mind in the least, thinking she was still the most beautiful witch he'd ever seen and had the incredible luck of marrying.
"We can plan the details later," he said, after kissing the tip of her nose. "For now, this old man needs to sleep."
Tonks, ever the temptress, had other ideas. Sleep was long-forgotten in favor of more pleasurable activities.
…
Remus sat on the edge of a St. Mungo's hospital bed, clad in a thin gown. He was at his annual physical examination, a requirement set by the Werewolf Support Services office for a continued supply of free monthly Wolfsbane Potion.
Werewolves were no longer required to register with the Ministry. They were eligible to receive free Wolfsbane Potion, so long as they received a free, annual examination at St. Mungo's. Their records would be kept sealed, with the hospital's policy of Healer-patient confidentiality. Everyone still knew when a werewolf was at St. Mungo's, as they were sent to the furthest corner of the hospital for their visits, which included a secure area for werewolves to transform if they wished.
Remus had no idea if any werewolves actually transformed at St. Mungo's, but he knew that at least two dozen werewolves in Britain received free monthly Wolfsbane Potion from the hospital. It was all funded through the Ministry and Werewolf Support Services, but executed entirely by the hospital itself.
With Slughorn's retirement three years ago and the newly reorganized DRCMC, Remus took the plunge and was the first werewolf to go to annual examinations and receive his potion from St. Mungo's. He was hyper-vigilant with his transformations, choosing to always transform at the Shrieking Chalet with his students or alone, if it was the summer holidays. Not a single incident had occurred since the year the Wizengamot was revolutionized.
Three Healers arrived for his appointment. There were always three; one conducted the examination while the other two observed. Remus knew it was due to the underlying suspicion and fear surrounding werewolves, and he couldn't fault them, especially when they had to take his cursed blood for testing.
The Healer that always saw Remus was familiar with the Lupins – Healer Wallace was the hospital's expert on lycanthropy, after spending years studying Hope, Bill, and Remus. Though there hadn't been any breakthroughs or improvements on the Wolfsbane Potion, he understood how lycanthropy functioned in the human body better than any other Healer.
"Ah, Remus, good to see you," Wallace said, shaking Remus's hand. He got off the bed and stood, waiting for his measurements. "How're the kids?"
"Causing trouble, as usual," replied Remus, as Wallace's wand got to work. "Hope turned five last month, but you saw her for her annual as well."
"Tiny for her age, but healthy, given the circumstances."
Wallace turned to one of the other Healers and spouted off numbers. If Remus understood correctly, his height hadn't changed, he'd gained a little weight, and his heartbeat was steady.
"You could lose a stone if you'd like," Wallace said, flipping through Remus's record. "Your bones are in decent shape, for your condition. Let's see—you turned 46 this year—your body's closer to a fit fifty-five to sixty-year-old male's."
Remus winced; he knew he aged faster, but hearing his body was closer to sixty than fifty made him feel ancient.
"How are transformations?"
"The usual, I suppose," answered Remus, thinking of last week's full moon. "It takes a bit longer to fully recover. Not as bad as pre-Wolfsbane Potion days, but not as quickly as when I was in my early 30s."
"That's to be expected. As your body gets older, it takes longer to heal itself."
Wallace had Remus sit back on the bed. The Healer shone a light in Remus's eyes, inspected his ears, and looked into his mouth.
"I've noticed lycanthropes age faster than the usual witch or wizard," Wallace said casually, listening to Remus's heartbeat and lungs. "Younger lycanthropes are better. The earlier they get on Wolfsbane Potion, the more naturally they age. Ripping yourself apart once a month doesn't help your cause, but with the potion, at least you're not tearing yourself apart further."
"Young werewolves like my godsons, you mean?"
"I can't speak to their exact cases," Wallace said, meeting the eyes of his colleagues in the exam room, "but the data I've collected from younger werewolves shows they've got closer-to-normal life expectancies with continued Wolfsbane Potion use. The older the bite, the shorter the life expectancy. The more often Wolfsbane Potion is used, the longer the life expectancy."
Remus groaned, prompting the Healer to ask if something hurt.
"No, er—" He paused, wondering how to phrase his question. "—given the age of my bite, and my spotty use of the potion—"
"—how long do I estimate?" Wallace finished. He frowned and flipped through Remus's record again. "The average wizard can expect to live upwards to 125 years. Longer, for witches, and that's in good health for everyone. Most witches and wizards make it to about 100, given disease and magical accidents."
Wallace leaned back against the cupboards in the examination room, and crossed his arms. "I really can't give an estimate, but I'd guess, if you took excellent care of yourself—maybe 75, 80 years? 70 if you're not so lucky?"
Remus's face fell. If he made it to 70, it meant he was already over halfway through his lifespan.
"It could be longer or shorter. We can't predict dragon pox epidemics, magical wars, or apocalyptic events."
"If my body's already closer to sixty—"
"—fifty-five, maybe," Wallace interrupted. "I wouldn't worry about it, mate. If you keep taking care of yourself, I don't see why you wouldn't be around to watch your kids get married or have kids of their own."
Remus took a moment to think over Wallace's judgment. If he was lucky, he could live another thirty years. That was plenty of time for Teddy and Hope to get married and start their families, should they choose that. Remus might be decrepit and falling apart by the time Hope was old enough to have her own children, but he could be alive to meet his grandchildren.
"Anyway, let's continue." The Healer gestured down to Remus's groin. "Any problems there? Sexually active? Some men have difficulty as they age…we've got potions for that…no shame in it at all."
Remus cleared his throat awkwardly.
"No problems whatsoever. Everything is working as it should."
He was reminded of just the last night, in which he'd pounded into Nymphadora with gusto, after she'd sat on his face. Their sex life had only improved in the over nine years into their marriage.
"Excellent," Wallace replied briskly, scribbling more notes into Remus's record. "Have you and Tonks decided if you'll have any more children?"
"It's highly unlikely we'll have any more."
"Well…you know what to expect by now, should you choose to have another." Wallace tapped his wand on Remus's file. It neatly rearranged itself and flew into another Healer's hands. "Any questions for me?"
"Er, outside my aging, how is my health?"
"Remarkably good for a lycanthrope of your age. As I mentioned earlier, I wouldn't worry about your life expectancy. It's just an estimate, and we can't know what the future will bring."
Remus thanked Wallace and the other Healers for their help. They left and he got dressed in his robes. He traveled down the corridor to the lift, which opened up to George and Angelina.
"We're having a girl!" George said, as soon as he saw Remus. "Let's hope she takes after Angie!"
Angelina beamed at George and took out a picture from her pocket. The lift doors closed and Remus wished them well for their family, all the while feeling an uncomfortable tugging at his heart.
He knew he wasn't totally against the idea of having another baby, he thought, as the lift came down to the main floor. Teddy and Hope were the light of his life. His son was clever, funny, and clumsy, like his mother. His daughter was quieter, but witty, and terribly mischievous when she wanted to be. Together with Nymphadora, his family was his pride and joy. He could easily imagine adding a new little one and being totally besotted with another son or daughter, but he felt he was too old to start over.
Though his wife was 34 years young, he was 46 in age, but Wallace had just told him his body was older. It wasn't as if he didn't already know; his natural sandy brown hair was nearly gone and his joints creaked every morning. Among strangers, he was frequently mistaken for his children's grandfather, rather than as their father.
With the news that he might be closer to the grave than he initially thought, Remus wanted to make the most of the time he had left. If his life was cut shorter than the Healers expected, he didn't want his children to be too young when he died.
He still feared that at any full moon, the Wolfsbane Potion wouldn't work and he'd rip himself apart in a way that couldn't be healed. He couldn't bear to think of leaving his wife and children so soon.
Not to mention, he thought, Hope had her own mild lycanthropic problems. Every full moon, she became ill and miserable. Remus had made his uneasy peace with what he'd done to his daughter, admittedly through no fault of his own. While Tonks insisted they could time conception as far from the full moon as possible and avoid having another child with similar health problems, Remus thought it wasn't worth the risk.
Then again, as he wished George and Angelina his best before turning to the Floo to go home, he imagined the joy of welcoming a new Lupin to the family. He pictured Tonks, pregnant again, and then giving birth to a new baby. She'd be ecstatic and he'd be proud to have another child. Teddy and Hope asked, whenever another Weasley was born, if they'd get another sibling. Hope hadn't let go of her desire for a baby brother. Andromeda delighted in her grandchildren, and with all the Weasleys having babies regularly, they'd be happy, too, as Molly and Arthur considered the Lupins part of their family as well.
It was a pleasant experience, picturing them all like this, and he realized he couldn't hang onto those hopes.
Remus had to imagine his wife and children at his graveside, all too young, to get the thoughts out of his head. He had to picture mousy-brown-haired Tonks with a wailing toddler on her hip, Teddy, fatherless and barely old enough for Hogwarts, and Hope, heartbroken and lost. They'd be huddled around a wooden coffin, with his body ready to be swallowed into the earth. The gloomy image brought him back to reality.
He couldn't do that to them.
"How did it go?"
Remus hadn't noticed he'd walked into his living room from the Floo, with how preoccupied he'd been.
"Hmm?"
"Your annual exam," Tonks said, raising a pink eyebrow at him. "Everything okay?"
"The usual," he replied, setting his cloak up on a hook. "Healthy enough for a werewolf. I could lose a stone, but I don't have to. Everything else is in good working order. Are the kids up yet?"
"They're outside in the garden," she replied. "Can you explain why you look like you've been given a terminal diagnosis?"
Remus briefly closed his eyes. "I'm tired, is all—"
"I've known you for a third of my life now," Tonks countered, suddenly standing at his side. "You can tell me. You know it worries me when you don't tell me."
Remus took her hand and sat down with her in the kitchen. He told her what Wallace had said about his shorter life expectancy, and how his body had aged. She listened patiently and waited until he'd explained everything.
"If your body's really fifty-five or sixty, you should be proud, Remus. Not every sixty year old can keep up with a woman half his age." She playfully winked at him, and her eyes drifted down to his trousers with a coquettish grin.
"I know," he said, huffing in amusement. "It' more that—I know we've tossed around the idea of having another baby, and I've been avoiding the issue. As much as I want another…"
"You're afraid," she said gently, with her hand on his thigh. "You're afraid you won't be able to watch them grow up."
Remus mumbled his agreement. He regretted not trying for a third child sooner, but given the circumstances in the few years after Hope's birth, it would've been catastrophically stupid to add another baby to their family.
"I don't want to leave you with a baby and two small children. If something ever goes wrong with my potion, or there's a disease…I want to see Teddy and Hope finish their education. I hope I live long enough to see them get married or have children of their own."
"I can't say I'm surprised." Tonks sat back and stretched her legs out. "At least you've thought about it."
"I have. It's not about money, and while I'm worried over what a pregnancy would do to your health, or if we had another baby like Hope—" He frowned, thinking he'd heard something in the garden, but the noise went away. "—and neither of us is getting younger. You're not upset with me?"
Tonks shrugged. "You know I've been trying to change your mind. I only half-expected it to work. I'm disappointed, but we've got two great kids and a good life here."
"Thank you for understanding, Dora," Remus said. He picked up her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. "I'd like to make the most of the time I have with all of you."
Tonks put her hand on his knee, but didn't look directly at him. He wondered what was going through her head and wanted to ask, but as Teddy and Hope burst through the garden door, he had his children to attend to instead.