A/N: Woah! Second update in one day! That's a friggin' record! Anyways, in this chapter, we get to take a peek into Kakashi's true love life. And Kakashi almost gets...you know. Naruto does not belong to me. It belongs to Kishimoto-san. But I do wish I did own Naruto.
I woke up the next morning, groaning and mumbling my ass off. I thought that whole vortex-swirly-thingy and the visit to Konoha was all just a really strange dream. But, apparently, it wasn't. I was still in Konoha.
"Oh!" I said. If I was still in an anime/manga, I would have taken on the appearance of an anime character, right? So, I ran to the bathroom(Really, in Kakashi's small apartment, it wasn't hard to find) and checked myself out in the mirror. Wow! I was amazed! I LOOKED EXACTLY THE SAME. Oh. Great. I still look like a nerd. I looked like an anime character, but I still had the same facial chracteristics. Sort of. I guess you can say my appearance was 'Kishimotoized.' Suddenly, Kakashi walked into the bathroom, holding a towel around his waist. I snickered.
"What the hell were you doing to yourself last night?!?" I said. Kakashi glared at me.
"And you call me the pervert. I have to take a shower. Get dressed, your training starts today." He said. Damn, he has no sense of humor.
"Fine." I put my hands up in surrender and walked away. I went over to my bag and pulled out a pair of shorts and a shirt. My bag holds a lot of stuff, don't ask. A few minutes later, Kakashi emerged from the bathroom, sporting his regular outfit. Which leads to a question: Why do anime characters always wear the exact same thing? Does Naruto have a whole closet of orange jumpsuits? Does L. Lawliet have a closet full of white shirts and jeans? Well, frankly, I wouldn't be surprised. Ahem...Anyway. Kakashi and I headed towards the training ground, the one where the Bell Test was held. There, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke waited.
"Sorry we're late," Kakashi said, waving his hand. "SOMEONE took too long in the bathroom today." He pointed to me. I stared up at him in disbelief.
"ME?!? I took like, what, five minutes in the bathroom! And Kakashi here took, like 20 minutes in the goddamned shower! And God knows what he was doing to himself last night, probably reading his porn and mast-" Kakashi shushed me and covered my mouth as I struggled to free myself from his grip. Being the sneaky and tactful person that he is, Kakashi changed the subject.
"Okay, guys. This is your new teammate, Paula. Paula, you already know Naruto. This here's Sasuke and Sakura. Say hi!" he said. He grabbed my arm and waved it for me. I finally broke free from the Copy Ninja's grasp.
"Asshole. Oh yeah, hi!" I said, now waving my own hand. Naruto and Sakura politely waved back and Sasuke merely replied with a 'hn.' Yeah. Not the most fun guy to be around. Not that emo guys are fun to be around. Well, that depends.
"Oh yeah. Kakashi, we haven't talked about the terms of our bet yet. I say that the loser has to sing and dance in the street for an hour. Winner's choice of song." I said. I was confident I would win the bet, and I wanted to see Kakashi dance and sing anyway. Naruto and Sakura laughed, and Sasuke smirked.
"Fine. I don't care." Kakashi replied. He was probably confident he would win the bet, too. And I wouldn't let that fly. Nuh-uh.
"You made a bet with Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto snickered.
"Yeah! Kakashi here has to give up his porno books, a.k.a, his Icha Icha Paradise books, and get a girlfriend, while I have to give up my music and become a 'serious shinobi.'" I replied. I tried my best to imitate Kakashi's voice.
"Are we allowed a part in this bet?" Sakura asked.
"Hmm. Yeah, but say you picked my side and helped me with my part of the bet. Then if I lost the bet, which I doubt, then you'd have to bear the punishment with me." I explained.
"Where'd you make up that rule?" Sasuke muttered.
"My brain. Duh." I said.
"Alright. Let's start on your taijutsu. Throw stuff at me." Kakashi said. He guarded his face. I laughed.
"Okay!" He told me to throw stuff at him. So I threw stuff all right. I threw stuff hard.
"OW! I meant to throw kicks! Punches! Not ROCKS!" Kakashi yelled. He ducked from a fairly large rock that I threw at him. Hey, I said I threw stuff, right? Naruto laughed in hysterics. Sakura giggled and Sasuke let out a little chuckle. LE GASP! Emo Duck was normal for a second there! Anyway. I threw punches and kicks at Kakashi this time. Not rocks. But you have to admit, throwing rocks is fun.
"Um. Great." Kakashi muttered, after I totally beat him up. "Your taijutsu's covered. How about shuriken throwing?" he asked, handing me some shuriken. Hell yeah! My specialty! I learned how to throw the sharp, pointy objects from the Internet! YAY FOR THE INTERNET! So, I threw the sharp, pointy, starry objects at a pole. And I bet about 75 percent of those stars hit the center of the pole.
"Okay. What about ninjutsu?" Kakashi asked. I frowned.
"I don't know any ninjutsu." I had said with genuine shame. Kakashi smiled.
"Then, we'll work on that tomorrow. But, we're going on D-rank missions for now..." he said.
"Which are so boring, you don't NEED any jutsu! Man, why can't we go on EXCITING missions, like the one to the Land of Waves?" Naruto continued. I laughed.
"Let's head to Ichiraku Ramen!" Naruto cried. Everyone else agreed, and we headed towards Naruto's favorite spot to eat.
"Se-ensei, se-ensei! Never make a bet that you know you can't win!" I sang as we took our seats. Then, I noticed a lady, around Kakashi's age, staring at us...Or rather, Kakashi. I tapped the Copy Ninja's arm.
"Oi. Sensei." I whispered. "I think that girl at the end of the counter likes you." I said. I pointed to the dirty blonde-haired girl at the end of the counter. Why, she looked like a perfect fit for him! So, Kakashi grinned and sat next to the lady, and they talked. And talked.
"I've got a date!" Kakashi said when the girl had left and Team 7 and I had finished our food.
"Oh, yeah, Kakashi!" I cried. I handed him an empty wrapper from a Jolly Rancher lollipop. "Here's a condom for that special girl. It's heavy duty, and, ooh, look! It's watermelon flavored! So your junk can taste like Jell-O!" I laughed. Naruto was in hysterics. Sasuke's lip twitched. Sakura's face said: I'm surrounded by pervs.
"Thiiiiinks." Kakashi replied.
"Wait a second, did you just HELP Kakashi-sensei find a girlfriend? I thought you guys were on a bet!" Sakura whispered in my ear. I chuckled quietly to myself.
"The bet itself was a whole hoax. I only made it up to get Kakashi a girlfriend. Face it, he needs one." I replied. Oh, how naive people are. Haha, yup, the whole bet was a scheme just to get Kakashi a girl. Actually, I'm considered naive myself...Heh.
"When's the date?" Sasuke asked.
"Right now. At her house." Kakashi replied. He handed me the keys to his apartment. "Don't stay up too late, okay?" Oh! How nice of him. He left me all alone, and he expected me to find my way back. Uh, hello? I'd only been in Konoha for, oh, I dunno...A DAY AND A HALF!
"I have a bad feeling about that girl..." Sasuke murmured.
"Oh?" I said.
"SHE LOOKS LIKE A WHORE!" Naruto cried, slamming his fist on the table. Oh dear.
Later...
"She's a whore!" Kakashi yelled. He threw his arms in the air in defeat and plopped down on the couch.
"How?!?" I cried. Dammit, my plan didn't work!
"She started feeling me up, making me uncomfortable. I mean, we started kissing and stuff like that." Kakashi replied.
"Well, that sucks for you," I replied, snickering. "Aw, come on, deep down, you wanted to...stay there for the night." Then, Kakashi smacked me across the face. It didn't seem like he meant it, though. I mean, who could slap a face like mine? I'm adorable. I have a chubby-but not fat-face. You call my face fat, you fucking die.
"Ok...Maybe a little..." the Copy Ninja muttered. "But, uh...she's not my type."
"Why?" I asked. I know, I was getting WAY into Kakashi's love/sex life. But he needed the helping hand, right? Right. Then, Kakashi shuffled his feet in embarrasment.
"Well, I kinda like this girl...er...down the hall. Her name is Aimi. I think she only thinks of me as a friend, though. I believe her name means 'beautiful love.'" He said. Awww! How sweet! You could tell his face was turning a tomato red. Now, I slapped him across the face. Payback, bitch. No, I'm totally kidding. Don't kill me.
"You idiot! Go tell her how you feel! Or at least flirt with her for a while, THEN tell her how you feel! Haven't you learned anything from porn?!?" I yelled. I was screaming at him like my mom did when I got a C plus in science. Don't ask. Please.
"Well, I learned some moves-" Kakashi stammered.
"...Besides copping a feel?"
"Oh. In that case, I know nothing."
"You know what? I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Why?"
"I'm tired, and you're sitting on my bed."
I shooed Kakashi off from my bed. Or couch, if you prefer. Besides, I asked Naruto to help me build something in the morning. Something fun. It involved a cable, a harness, and the words 'zip' and 'line.' Can't guess? Dude, take a look at the title.
A/N: Awww! Kakashi loves someone! How cuh-ute! Question is, does Aimi love Kakashi back? Find out in the next chapter! Or so...
"...So your junk can taste like Jell-O!"