SPOILER ALERT: this contains speculation based on a spoiler for the upcoming episode 6x07 'known unknowns'.
Cuddy slipped from under the heavy arm holding her to the bed. Padding quietly to the outer room, she checked on Rachel; a soft smile forming as she watched her little girl's chest rise and fall. She returned to the bedroom and slipped on the clothes she had laid out last night.
Pausing, she stared at the man lying in the bed.
They had shared a bed for over a month now - had dated longer - yet it was still strange: him there. She had turned him down a year ago, but things were different now; he fit her life better. She wasn't settling per se, but she rejected him last year for a reason: he wasn't House. Not that she wanted him to be or not the House from before, though she had wanted that House too.
She was confused about this new House: Genius 2.0.
Without leaving a note (Lucas knew her morning routine), she grabbed her iPod and exited the room. Once in the elevator, she pressed the button for the lobby and leaned back against the wooden walls watching as the numbered circles lit marking her descent.
Using the back exit, she followed the path to the lake. Stopping at the end of the walkway, she stretched her muscles as she breathed in the cool morning air. After a final stretch, she took off in a brisk run along the path encircling the lake.
She ran to escape.
She ran to escape thoughts about House; her job; her relationship; her life. She ran from the certainty that House was her escape from herself. Since his return, House was on her mind a lot. She hadn't expected him at this conference. She certainly hadn't intended for him to find out about Lucas this way. She saw the hurt and the anger and confusion in his eyes. She felt sorry for it – guilty even - because she knew what he was doing and she should have told him – stopped him. But she didn't want too. Besides her personal life was just that: personal. Except it wasn't; not to him and she knew she was taking advantage – he hadn't figured it out because she actively hid it from him; from everyone.
It had been easier when he was gone.
Now he was back. He challenged her. He frustrated her. He made her feel... She didn't know – couldn't figure out - what she wanted and it all confused her. She had always had feelings for him. She still did.
Now, she was beginning to feel things for someone else too.
It angered her that he should be ready now, when she had resolved to take care of herself; to find someone who would be good for her and Rachel. She hated that she was considering giving up the possibility that this could be something, for him.
She ran to escape herself; she ran from the threat of self-sabotage; she ran to escape him.