A/N: This writer's block is quickly wearing off and I'm so excited to keep writing this story! Enjoy!
The foursome finally managed to get back to the Bebop safely with all relationships intact. As the men exported the groceries from Jet's Hammerhead to the Bebop, the women unpacked the bags and cleaned the kitchen.
"The guy was crazy. All he wanted was the money. I was so upset with myself for even defending him." Camilla was talking to Faye as they moved around the tiny kitchen, placing things in cabinets and into the refrigerator.
"Cam, it's your job to defend assholes like that."
Camilla stopped unpacking one of the grocery bags and looked at Faye, smiling, before adding a sarcastic, "Thanks."
Faye chuckled. "Well, I'm just being honest."
As Camilla pulled the last bag onto the counter and dumped the contents out, what she found was not only strange, but eerily grotesque. She found a package of meat wrapped in a gold wrapper. It seemed as if it were cut in half. She turned it around to see the face of a clown printed onto the surface of the meat. She quickly turned it back around, frantically looking for the label. There it was on the side: Clown Meat.
"YUCK!" Camilla dropped it back onto the counter as if it were a ball of fire.
Jet and Spike, who were sitting on the couch watching Gunsmoke, and Faye immediately looked at the apparently shaken lawyer.
"What's wrong, Cam?" Faye asked.
Camilla grabbed the luncheon meat and showed it to the three. "Who the hell put this shit in my cart?"
"Eeee…" Faye mumbled as she tried to look away from the disgusting looking meat.
"Oh, I did." Spike responded, raising his long arm as if he were in school.
"What the hell are you gonna do with this?" Camilla asked, still bewildered as to why someone would want to even sell such a thing.
"I heard it was good to fish with. Plus, I just wanted to gross you out."
Camilla stood there disgusted. "So, I spent 7 woolongs on this….MYSTERY MEAT?!"
"Hey, now." Spike put his hand out, as if trying to calm Camilla down. "It's Clown Meat." He, then, returned to watching Gunsmoke.
Camilla stood by the counter, fuming. She just wasted 7 woolongs on spoiled meat. Not only was she mad that it was spoiled and had absolutely no value, but it was meat! Something that she didn't even eat!
With all her strength, she threw the package of meat as hard as she could at her lanky housemate, only for him to dodge it and hit Jet clear across the side of his face with a loud slap.
Faye and Spike quickly turned around to see the look on Jet's face. Camilla watched in horror as her husband gave her the meanest look that she'd ever seen him give her.
"Camilla. You need to take a nap. You've been a nuisance all day."
Camilla immediately ran out of the kitchen and in front of the couch. "Me a nuisance? What about your so-called friend, here? He made me buy 7 woolong mystery meat!"
"Clown Meat!" Spike yelled, trying to defend his inedible food.
"Who the fuck cares what its called!" Camilla responded.
"ENOUGH!" Jet screamed to the top of his lungs, making the Bebop shake with his booming voice. Immediately, Spike and Camilla shut their mouths.
"Camilla, you need to get out somewhere. You've been crazy all day today. I don't know what your problem is but you really need to do something about it."
Camilla's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She grabbed her keys from the counter and ran towards the door to the Bebop. "Fine. I'll go. But don't you dare try to call me and see where I am!"
With that Camilla left the Bebop, still fuming about what happened.
"Ah, Faye." Spike moaned as he watched Faye's beautiful nude body bounce atop of his own, his shaft entering and exiting her with each bounce.
Faye bit her bottom lip as she groaned and hissed in sheer pleasure.
Spike, then, suddenly, grabbed Faye's tiny waist and pinned her down onto their bed. He pinned her arms down with one hand and grabbed the edge of the bed with the other.
Faye looked into Spike's eyes, a little frightened by his forward behavior. As he quickly positioned his knees on either side of Faye's body, his eyes met with hers. He slowly bent down and kissed her neck, unpredictably pounding into her.
Faye shrieked in both pain and pleasure, rocking her hips to his.
BAM! Spike and Faye's bedroom door all of a sudden flew open to reveal a certain short and tyrannical woman.
"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Spike yelled as he hopped off of Faye and looked at the door. Faye grabbed the sheets, frantically covering her body.
"I need to tell you two something." Camilla calmly said, as if bursting in on them while they were having sex was no big deal.
"Shit me! It's 4 AM! You should be either sleeping or having sex!" Spike yelled. "And we chose to have sex, so leave us so we can have our privacy." Spike began to hover over Faye, as if he were trying to continue.
"Get out of this room! I need to tell you two something!"
"Let's just go, Spike." Faye mumbled to her boyfriend as she leaned over the bed to grab her pajamas.
"Dammit." Spike murmured, combing his fingers through his wild and sweat-filled green hair. "Fine, Camilla. Close the door so we can get dressed."
With that, Camilla slammed the door behind her and walked to the next room to wake Jet up.
"Shit, this better be good." Spike said as he placed one of his trusty Marlboros into his mouth and quickly gave it life with his naked woman lighter.
"Knowing Camilla, it probably isn't. But what the hell." Faye walked to the door, her white tank top and long Scooby Doo pants occupying her body.
Spike quickly threw on his striped boxers. "What the hell?! I should be on your body, not that!" He grumbled, pointing at her pajamas and joining her as they exited their bedroom.
Spike, Faye and Jet were uncomfortably sitting on their hard, yellow couch. Spike was on the end, smoking a cigarette and wearing nothing but boxers. Faye was in the middle, her head lolled to the side as her eyes began to close. Jet was on the other end of the couch, leaned over with his head in his hands. And then there was Camilla, pacing in front of the couch and obviously thinking hard about something.
"Okay, what the hell is going on? We've been sitting here for about 10 minutes already." Spike said, very annoyed.
"Ah, shutup, Clown Meat!" Camilla stopped to look at her pissed off housemate. Spike rolled his eyes as he tapped his cancer stick on the side of the ashtray on the coffee table.
"Okay, you know how I've been acting like a total bitch lately?"
Spike shrugged. "Well, you act like that all the time." He smiled, letting a cloud of grey smoke exit through his nose.
Camilla gave him a mock smile. "Well, it turns out…" Camilla looked at Jet as she placed her hands onto her stomach. "I'm pregnant."
"WHAT?!" All three crew members on the couch sat up and stared at Camilla in amusement.
"Yeah. When I left, I started to feel queasy and dizzy, so I went to the clinic and it turns out that I'm with child."
Jet slowly stood up and walked towards his wife. "We're having a….a…."
"A baby! Yes!" Camilla finished.
Jet's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he fainted onto the floor. Spike immediately ran over to Jet, while the girls gasped and hollered.
"Ah, shutup!" Spike yelled to them. "He's fine. Watch."
Spike took the cigarette that was in his mouth and mushed it onto Jet's forehead. Jet shot up instantly, rubbing his forehead.
"Thanks, man." He said to Spike as Spike stood up from his body and motioned Faye to follow him back into their bedroom.
Jet stood to look at his wife. "I'm…I'm surprised."
"I know," Camilla responded. She placed Jet's hand onto her belly. "I'm about 2 months." She, then looked up at Jet. "I know you'll be an excellent father."
Jet nodded, smiling at his beautiful wife. "I'm excited."
Camilla smiled back at him. "So am I."
A/N: WOAH! So, THAT'S why she got so bitchy about Spike's mystery, eh, clown meat (clown meat is some pork thing that I don't even know is real or not. It probably is but look it up on Google. It looks totally disgusting)! XD! Well, the next chapter will be up very soon! My writer's block is (almost) completely gone! (WOOHOO!) Oh, and don't forget to drop a review off when you leave! Tootlez!