Author's note: Thank you Calie as always, because without you there wouldn't be a chapter 9. Lauren for your amazing brain, Sofia for your patients with me causing them hell, Josie for reading bits for me and of course Dana for letting me stress to you about all things. Enjoy this chapter, and I'll just leave you with this fact, next chapter is the one you're all waiting for! Christmas is always magical for them now isn't it? Leave me your thoughts!

She stalked into the living room of the penthouse like she owned it; head held high, poised, and ready for anything. She'd come such a long way since before the cancer and the chemo, and it had changed her so much, for the better. She saw things through new light now, but she already proved that by informing one of many people she'd looked down upon in her lifetime that he would be escorting her to a party. A party where he could potentially get the one he was after back. Had Cecelia Rhodes known then that it would lead her to where she was so early on a Thursday afternoon on Christmas Eve rather then being in France soaking up sun light of each bright day, she had no doubt that she still would have done it. Cece recognized the mistakes she'd made with her own daughter and with her granddaughter they were not mistakes she planned on attributing to again.

Not one of the three teenagers spread out on the couches looked up when she stepped into the room; her grandson lay on his stomach scrolling through things on his iPod with the touch of a finger, her step-grandson sat upright likely watching some type of porn or planning out his next plan of torture on an innocent bystander, and then there lay her granddaughter in all of her blonde glory. She was on her back, her head propped up on the arm of the couch, her knees bent. She was reading 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' with a teddy bear propped up on her stomach. All Cece could see in front of her was the little girl that would rush forth to her whenever she walked into a room and beg for a story. Suddenly that little blonde was grown up and going to be telling stories herself.

She hadn't taken after the Rhodes women when it came to pregnancy, both Cece and Lily had been double Serena's size by the time they were eighteen weeks into their pregnancies. She was tiny yet, and easily hidden by a sweatshirt and sweat pants. Even as she laid in a tight tee shirt and pajama pants it still wasn't blatantly obvious unless you knew every bit of Serena's build and stature. She observed quietly as her granddaughter stretched her legs out and rested them on her brother's back as she threw her head back in a yawn. The two of them had always been close, it's what made Cece know that even if she'd made mistakes in the past, Lily having her grandchildren with someone other then Rufus Humphrey was the best choice she could have made, especially when Serena talked so highly of her little Bug that had yet to exist in the common known world; her little bug that was itself part Humphrey.

To Cece's displeasure the one person she'd been there to see least was the first to look up and acknowledge her presence in the room. Chuck Bass's impolite, rude, and foul ways were just a few of the reasons she was glad to hold no blood relations to the young man.

"Well Grandmother, how, interesting it is to see you in our lovely abode."

Cece's eyes settled on Chuck as both of her grandchildren popped up from their places suddenly. How her daughter picked her men would forever be a mystery for Cece.

"Yes Charles, it's always a pleasure to see you too."

She rasped out not hiding her dislike for the boy. Turning her attention from him, both Eric and Serena were now hugging her.

After an exchange with Eric and greetings with Serena she grabbed her granddaughter's hands and made her step back once so she could look her over. The little soccer player who would roll around in the mud, the dancer who'd try her best to get on her tiptoes, the little girl that would endlessly beg for Grandma to accompany her to tea parties with Mr. Bear and Sally the doll were now replaced by an elegant adolescent who herself had motherhood quickly approaching.

"Sweetheart I can't tell you if you look phenomenal or too thin. Are you sure you're eating enough? This isn't just about you anymore Serena."

Serena smiled a very meek smile, it had been two weeks since she'd decided to let Dan go completely. She hadn't even spoken with him when he called anymore. She refused to take his calls, and the lack of hearing his voice was causing her so much pain and anxiety Serena was losing every grasp on who she was. It had gotten so bad Chuck had even begun bringing her candy and truffles at night. All of which she discarded to the trash bucket in a 'I'm just not hungry' fashion.

"Yes Gramma, I promise I'm fine."

Her emerald eyes showed different but Cece left it alone; it wasn't her place to interject. All she could do was pull her granddaughter into a hug, one that she worried Serena would break down with.

The mall was abuzz with people walking and wafting about in pre-Christmas jitters. Christmas eve was always the craziest. It hadn't been Dan's idea to shop on Christmas eve, lately nothing had been very much of Dan's ideas. Amanda had complained about them not being able to see one another or talk over the long twenty-four hour period so they'd ended up at the mall. The mall where Dan was being required to pick out her Christmas present for her, a task he didn't care all to much to do. And she decided she wanted perfume, so perfume it was.

There was only one girl's scent that he remembered even in his dreams. The bittersweet smell of Lilly's and Patchouli on an average day, a scent she'd made all by herself. Then on special occations there was that one perfume that showed all of her beauty in one single squirt.

With his hand laced with Amanda's he let her browse around. Amanda picked up a pink and crystal bottle, holding it in her petite milky hand, as Dan lay staring at the vast array of perfumes on the wall in front of him. He couldn't have cared less to be in the store with her and she could see that fact written all over his face but she chose to pay it not mind.

"What about this one?"

She held her freshly sprayed wrist up to his face and watched for his reaction. His face contorted into a look of disgust at the fowl stench. It was like moth balls and carrot cake, truly something he didn't have an appetite to stomach.

"That is terrible! Oh…god, that's gross!"

He laughed as she giggled, her dark tresses falling a little in her face as she moved them back behind her ear.

"You actually put that on yourself? Okay look's like you're finishing this shopping trip alone, Amanda"

Only half-joking with her he wished she would let him off the hook. Christmas time had once been special to him. How hard he'd worked the past Christmas to get a tree into the Palace Hotel, how they'd spent well into Christmas morning on the floor of the gallery proving to one another just how much they loved each other. That's where his mind was stuck, stuck on the one he let go out of his own stupidity. He still couldn't figure out how he looked himself in the face.

"Am not, you promised to buy me a perfume for Christmas and here we are. You can't pull out now, Dan. Come on you should be used to it, I'm sure you and Serena would have done your fair share of shopping trips"

Amanda cringed as she said it, she hated bring Serena up because Dan always got this far away look in his eyes. Like he was escaping to the past year. She wanted to be the one he saw when he shut his eyes. Part of her thought she just needed to be patient.

"Yeah, maybe… I guess"

He turned his head back to the perfume bottles before him, recognising a few from Jenny's collection, but not Serena's. She had so many he never knew which was which. Except that one. She had told him that Christmas morning that she reserved it for special occasions. She had also worn it on the night of the Kiss on the Lips party, and the night of their first real date, of course.

"Some of them are sooo sweet it's disgusting"

She interrupted him from his day dream, from his thoughts of Serena and the past Christmas. He was almost sure nothing was going to top last Christmas, surly not this one, without Serena nothing seemed as happy and playful as it once had.

"This is hilarious I've never really bought French perfume before. I've been given a few bottles from my mum but never had to choose anything. It's actually really hard. That Chanel's pretty nice though, I'll probably just get that one."

He nodded to agree with her halfly, the Chanel reminded him of Blair. Blair was a scent that either gave him nightmares or made him roll his eyes in disgust. She was far from his favorite person. She was one of the many reminders of just how different his and Serena's worlds really were.

"OH my gosh, yes.. I love it! Dan? What do you think? Smell this one!"

She flapped the piece of card and he leant over and inhaled the scent, lightly closing his eyes. An instant memory took over his mind, a memory that he wanted so badly to hold onto.

His head remained there for a while, his nose buried in the nape of her neck, as he kissed her collarbone lightly and her blonde locks tickled his bare skin. Irregular breaths and small whimpers came from her open mouth, as he worked to please her, their hips moving in time, her arms wrapped so tightly around his back; their bodies as one.

"Dan, what's wrong? You hate it? Oh my God you hate it!"

Amanda's voice broke Dan out of his day dream. It had been so real, or rather he'd wanted it to be real. More then anything else Dan wanted to be there touching her and holding her, listening to her little laugh and just being around her.. Not talking with her was killing him.

"No, no I don't hate it, I don't."

Doing his best to cover it up he shook his head, he'd made a plan to try and give her a good Christmas regardless if he didn't like Christmas anymore or not. Amanda hadn't done anything wrong and she shouldn't have had to suffer thought his misery too.

"Yes! You do!"

Amanda's over worried and still over happy voice peeped up as she turned in a flustered fury to look at him.

"What the hell, Amanda? I don't hate it, don't be stupid!"

He gulped as he realised his voice had risen until he was almost yelling at her. He placed his hand on her arm apologetically.

"I'm sorry. Look, I don't hate it… I just… I think… I think I prefer the Chanel"
Dan said trying to get himself out of having to explain anymore. The thoughts in his mind weren't anything that he wanted to deal with without Serena.

"Okay"

She nodded lightly, and let out a small fake smile, knowing he was not telling the whole truth. She was willing to let him calm down before asking about it. Although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.

"Come on let's go. I've had enough perfume testing for the day I'm getting a headache from all the smells mixed together."

She grabbed his arm and led him away, wishing she was the one he thought of when he smelled the delicious scent.

Cece watched her granddaughter through the small glass window in the wooden door as she lay on the examining table in the dark room. Had someone told her a year ago that her darling granddaughter would be carrying a little Humphrey she would have shivered at the thought and exiled him. Now, with the clear goo clumped on her stomach and her eyes misted over in pride, Cece could tell that it had all happened for a reason. The only thing that would have made it better for Serena would have been to have Dan there holding her hand and admiring their work together.

"You know, I've seen a lot of teen mothers walk through this hallways and the best decision most of them make is to give the child up for adoption. I think your granddaughter really needs to consider it, personally, I don't think she's ready for anything she's getting herself into. I know I'm not one who should be judging, I myself have a seventeen year old daughter who's only on her first boyfriend thank goodness. But I just think that Serena needs to consider not cutting her life short and not complicating the life of the little girl in there."

It was obvious just how much Marilyn knew nothing about who she was speaking to. She never would have had the guts to say such bold things if she knew that a majority of the funding for the hospital came from the Rhodes funding association. Cece stayed silent and allowed Marilyn to continue on with expressing her feelings before she let anything be known. She was interested in just what the doctor assumed from the few meetings she'd had with her granddaughter. Serena was young and a little inexperienced in the mothering department but none the less it was already pretty proven that she was going to do a very good job with it.

"With all do respect Miss. You know nothing about my granddaughter other then the few times you see her once a week. You don't know the obstacles Serena's gotten herself through to get to this point. She'd a very compassionate and caring young women who is going to make a very good mother to her little girl."

Cece raplied back to Marilyn with a cheeky yet polite smile as she folded her hands in front of her and waited for the next round of insults the women would try and produce. In the past year Cece had learned to try and be patient and see the best in people. There really wasn't much else you could do when you spent hours a day having a poisonous liquid pumped into your body in the hope that it will kill the germs that are already trying to kill you. That's when she'd given Dan Humphrey a second thought, that's when she'd come to evaluate the true smile on Serena's face that she hadn't seen since the girl was a young child. if Daniel Humphrey was the reason for it, then Cece decided there was no question in just how much she needed him around.

"If you don't mind me asking, but, how old were you when you had your first child?"

Marilyn interjected again and it brought Cece back to the days that Lily was young. Lily had been a child quite like Serena herself, reckless to the point of self destruction. Though Lily's recklessness didn't end when her children were born, she still had many of those key elements lying around. Serena on the other hand had changed immensely, and part of that was only to the fault of Dan. She felt like she needed to be a better person to deserve him, even if they both knew that she didn't have to change a bit of herself. Dan would have loved her no matter what.

"I was twenty-seven, but times have changed since I had my daughter."

Watching Marilyn nod her head then look back down at her clip board she felt herself becoming more annoyed with the women before her.

"Well my daughter is seventeen now and I don't think she could handle a child on her own. These girls, they're kids themselves. She's probably pregnant with what? Her first boyfriend? This shouldn't be a responsibility she should have to handle at seventeen or eighteen years old."

Serena wasn't like the other girls, maybe she and Dan didn't use their judgment well enough to make the right decisions. Everything happened for a reason, and this little girl already meant to much to Serena it was plain for anyone to tell.

"You don't see Serena and the way she talks to her stomach at night. You haven't heard all of her plans or seen anything she's done for this baby. She might be young but she's going to make a wonderful mother. Being a mother myself I see your concern but I think you need to just keep your mouth shut and your comments to yourself and take care of your own daughter. You never know when things like this are going to happen."

Finally barking at the 'high and mighty doctor' Cece started to turn on her heels to enter back into the room but Marilyn's final comment stopped her.

"Well then just make her aware that if she continues this hunger strike that baby's going to be born way earlier than when she's ready to survive."

She'd lied to her grandmother. Lying was something she was becoming quite good at again. Just as she'd been a whole life time ago. What else was she to do though? She couldn't just come clean and ruin his Christmas. There was a far too much more at stake than making herself feel good by exerting the secrets she'd already held for too long. She knew she needed to devise some type of plan. She was showing now, in another two weeks there'd be no denying the fact that she had a little someone resting inside of her. For the time being she didn't want to have to think about that, she didn't want to dwell on when or if she should come clean about all of her secrets and lies. The time being her main focal point of concentration was to be spent on her little girl. On nourishing herself enough for Marilyn to notice and decide that Serena wasn't just viewing this as a game or a punishment. She needed to show everyone that she wasn't shallow and she did have the ability to take care of someone other than herself. The fact that the baby was Dan's should have been enough, but, for some reason the pain and strain of him not being there with her every step of the way was taking a toll and she knew she had no one but herself to blame it all on.

Serena had sworn to Cece that she'd tell him, and for some reason Cece had it in her head that he'd like it as a Christmas present.. Serena choose to disagree. Yet she'd gotten out of the town car when it pulled up at the Humphrey loft anyway. She thanked her grandmother, bid her a goodbye, then disappeared to hide in the door of the building until she was sure she was no longer being watched. Soon after she snuck out of the building and headed to the one place that would always stand for her meaning of Christmas. On her walk to the other side of Brooklyn however she got distracted by the decadent window of a small tourist built store. The onsiess in the window display had been what had caught her eye first. That in turn had been the reason she had tears in her eyes as she sat in the middle of the familiar wooden floor with the small pieces of fabric in her hands. The bracelet her grandmother had purchased and had engraved for Bug was cast away from her in the robin's egg blue box at her ankle.

"This my little girl, would be the gallery. Grandpa Rufus's Gallery, the place that I bet dome day he'll hang up your silly little scribbles proud as anything of them. Just as Daddy and I will be, because Daddy and I are always proud of you, no matter what you do. Someday things will be better. See Bug, this place is special to mommy and daddy. This is the place Daddy gave mommy a very special present last year, a present that opened up the door to you being around."

As Serena looked around the place more regret filled her, regret that told her just how many mistakes she'd made of everything and how maybe she should have just been clean about everything to begin with.

"Tomorrow is Christmas my little Bug. Our first Christmas together… sort of, I can't help but think about next Christmas. You'll be about seven months old, almost old enough to actually enjoy tearing the paper off of things. I'll tell you right now, your Nana, she's going to spoil you rotten. Just like mommy is. Seems like I may have already started, your grandma Cece too, she bought you a present… a bracelet to wear when you're big enough"

Serena said as she lay on the floor with her head propped up on her coat, her hands rested atop of her little bump. Her little bump where she'd placed one of the onsies. She could almost clearly see the 'Brooklyn Sweetheart' in ragged letters on the small outfit. It made her smile, the thought of her daughter having all good morals in her life. Of Bug growing up in a way that the UES lifestyle didn't affect her, with Dan as her father there was no way Serena's little bug would ever like the UES's.

"You know baby girl, we're gonna be ok. One way or another, it's you and I sweetheart just you an…."

Hearing a door open and shut Serena stood up with a jump and grabbed her coat and onsies as she headed for the window she'd snuck in from and not looking back.

He needed to clear his head, there was just too much on his mind for him to function correctly. He didn't want to be with Amanda anymore, especially since it seemed to only distress Serena and make her back away from him more and more. He missed her more then he ever had in his life. Maybe it was because it was Christmas, or maybe it was the fact that he was in love with her. He wasn't sure which one was more dominant. There wasn't a thing that he wanted more for Christmas other then holding her and telling her how much he missed her.

"Damn it"

Dan silently swore at himself out of frustration as he finally got into the gallery and slammed the door shut. He hated the way the year was turning out, after how magical last year had been this year was just hell. In all of his frustration and hostility he sighed deeply and sat down on the floor in the middle of the gallery and put his head down on his hands. He'd tried to call her a few times, just to wish her a merry Christmas. Apparently she didn't want to hear from him. All he wanted was to hear her voice, like it'd made everything better last Christmas, it could have done the same this Christmas. Rather he was stuck with mousy Amanda who by the day was getting more and more on his nerves.

Something across the room caught his eye as he moved forward to reach for it. The robins egg shell colored box he recognized just like all of the ones in Serena's room. The expensive box was something she had thousands of. As he reached for it something told him it was hers, which also told him that maybe he was thinking of her too and maybe it was time for him to pay her a visit and beg her to show him what a Merry Christmas really was. That's when he made up his mind, stood up, and headed for the door. Daniel Humphrey was going to wish Serena Van der Woodsen a merry Christmas for the second year in a row.