Author's Note: Ok so this took way longer then I expect it to, and i'm so sorry. Lauren this is for you of course, and soon as you're done reading it guess what! i'm gonna both you with chapter 12 :-D just so you know. Calie, I miss you! and I hate posting it without you checking it first. so when you get back you'll have something to read. ok so now everyone enjoy and I hope you like it! please review (:

The sharp January wind blew and Serena shivered into her coat as she crossed the street to the large towering brownstone. She hadn't spoken a word to Dan other then to place the five month sonogram in his hand and lie to him that everything was alright. Now it was the morning before school and Serena was dreading it, Gossip Girl had put up a new poll about her. A who could be the father poll. Every bit of Serena was nervous and angry when she even thought about it. The only good part was the fact that Dan's section in the poll was proving to be pretty low, why she continued to look at them she wasn't actually sure. It was something to help her pass the time as she sat watching LOST re runs.

Snapping back in from the world she'd worked her thoughts into she reached up to knock on the door she knew almost as well as her own. She knew his parents were away, it was time for their annual Florence vacation. She just needed advise on how to get away from all the drama for a while. She smiled as the maid opened the door and invited her in as she knew they could. Part of her knew she could have just walked right in and it wouldn't have fazed anyone.

"NATE!"

She yelled up the stairs as she walked into the family room and took a seat over near the couches looking around at the different pieces of art and everything else that adorned the room around her.

For as long as she could remember he'd lived in the same place. Of course the paint and furniture changed when Ann and The Captain wanted it to but none the less four of them had spent every Christmas on the floor watching 'It's a wonderful Life'. Of course the Christmas that had just past a few weeks prior had been no different.

Today she sat in the Archibald family room in need of guidance. Reassurance in what she was doing. Serena knew that just seeing his face would remind her just how much it hurt when she stole a boyfriend from someone. The pain she'd caused Blair was something she hated to think of and something she had no interest in causing to Amanda regardless if she hurt not having Dan herself. Eventually Amanda would be tired of not having Dan's whole heart and she'd let him go herself. Serena just had to wait for that day to come.

She heard his heavy footsteps rushing down the stairs and when she looked up she was met with a no where near ready for school Nate Archibald who was clad only in a pair of navy blue boxers, his hair and body still wet from a shower, and a pretty proud of himself cocky smirk on his face that she knew could only mean one thing.

"Serena, sorry, wasn't expecting you this morning. My niece ok?"

Nate greeted her with a brotherly bear hug soon as he walked over to her.

"Yea, I know I was coming to see if you would walk to class with me, but, as I can see you're not planning on going in today."

She commented on his just out of the shower appearance as she caught a drip of water that slid down the side of his face from his wet hair.

"Well, mom and dad left yesterday so you know, I decided to take some time off too."

He trailed off and she threw her head back in the direction of the stairs as she opened her mouth.

"Good morning Vanessa"

Nate laughed and shook his head soon as the words left Serena's mouth only to switch his attention to the top of the stairs.

"morning"

Vanessa spoke up as she walked down the stairs in one of Nate's tee shirts still, a towel still in her hand to dry her wet hair. Serena watched in a twinge of jealousy as Nate caught Vanessa's hand and pulled her to sit on his lap. She wasn't jealous of Vanessa having Nate, but jealous of the coupley things they did. She missed Dan touching her the way Nate was running his hands along Vanessa's legs.

"I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go. I'm procrastinating going to Constance, who knows what Gossip Girl will suggest next you know"

She leaned back into the couch and slipped her hand over her stomach as she closed her eyes in thought. Gossip Girl seemed to be trying her hardest to make a mess of the things Serena was working her hardest to conceal.

"Yea, Nate got the poll text message this morning. What are you and Dan gonna do about it?"

With Nate not backing down from his touching Vanessa slid off of his lap and sat down beside him instead, why make Serena any more uncomfortable plus if he kept it up Vanessa was going to drag him back up the stairs by his 'pretty' hair.

"Apparently they all seem to think I'm the father."

Nate began to laugh out but soon stopped when he saw the classic deviant smirk in Serena's eyes. One she always when she had an idea brewing in her head. One of the things Blair had pressed upon her.

"I really, really don't want anyone to know she's Dan's."

She spoke slightly not looking up to meet either of their eyes.

"Serena! What are you thinking? He's one of my friends! And! I have a girlfriend."

He shook his head at her as he again reached for Vanessa who sat between the two looking back and forth.

"I'm not saying after she's born. I mean, just for now, while I'm pregnant. Please? I mean, I'm supposed to be around any more stress as it is."

Serena's eyes begged him as she bit her lip into a pout.

His heart felt like it was broken in his chest all over again, images of being in the hallway with them were plaguing him. How could she do that? How could she just let Nate say their baby was his. Then the glare she'd thrown him when he'd tried to interrupt, the baby was their daughter. Nate had no part in the conception or the raising of her. Dan wanted to be there, he wanted to announce to the entire school that they were expecting. Not her and Nate, the thought made him shiver, the thought of his little girl calling Nate daddy and everything else. He hadn't found anything against Nate, when it came down to it Nate had been a pretty cool guy, but pretty cool guys didn't claim other people's children.

He's slammed into the house, stomped past his father, and thrown himself on his bed in all of his hell and misery. He wanted to scream and curse at everything that came his way, take out all of the frustration and energy that had built up in his gut. The frame that was face down on his chest of draws stopped him. Reaching out his picked it up and put his hand over the protective glass, she'd slipped it in his pocket and told him to replace it from the four month one. Her five month sonogram was healthy and normal, she'd promised him she'd been taking care of herself and their daughter the last time she'd talked to him. She told him that the sonogram proved it.

It didn't matter, he was frustrated and angry. If she hadn't threatened him he would have blown everything she'd worked so hard to fake. All he wanted was to claim his daughter and Serena as his, but apparently it was to much to ask to make them happy.

A knock on the door shattered his thoughts as his head snapped up and he dropped the fame onto his bed. He could have cared less who it was, or if they saw the frame. He was going to be a father and he didn't feel like denying it, hell, he wanted to tell Serena that she needed to drop her games.

"Dan?"

Rufus's voice questioned before he opened the door and peaked his head into his son's room. The cowboy sheets and Cedric made him slightly roll his eyes and shake his head. His eighteen year old son was never going to grow up.

"You stormed in the house, is something wrong?"

Glaring at his father wasn't something he'd meant to do, it just sort of came out. He was to bothered and flustered to remember that his father knew nothing that was going on.

"Yea dad, everything just peachy"

Voice dripping with sarcasm as he looked down again at the photo frame in his hands, his finger rubbed over the word 'Daddy' Serena had messily put on it with glue and sparkles.

"Did you and Amanda have a fight?"

Rufus walked closer to the bed paying no mind to his son's sudden out bursts. He was all to familiar with it all lately. The only time he'd been happy was when he got in late on Christmas night, even then he'd been a little bit distant and pulled back.

"Fighting with Amanda would have been a HELL of a lot easer then this. If fact I would almost welcome that. Then maybe she could stop with her dumb ideas."

Rufus was completely confused as he raised his eyebrow at his son and sat down on the messy blanket covered bed as Dan pressed the sonogram and frame into the sheets out of Rufus's view.

"It's Serena Dad, she's lost her mind"

Putting a hand on his son's shoulder he sighed, he too knew what it was like to let go of a Van der Woodsen, one of the hardest jobs in life. There were days that Rufus knew he still wasn't over Lily.

"Dan, it's been four months. How do you think Amanda would feel if she knew you were home in your room moping about Serena? She seems like a nice enough girl. You really should give her an honest chance. If I hadn't tried to forget about Lily I never would have met your mother."

Much as Dan knew that Rufus was trying to help it didn't help any. Especially when one had nothing to do with the other, yet everything to do with one another at the same time, and it all stemmed from Serena.

"This isn't the same as that Dad… so not the same"

He was cross and angry and he didn't mean to bark out anything he was saying. Neither father nor son had noticed Jenny standing in the doorway, Jenny who had lately taken to being very partial to defending Serena in everything she did. Jenny who didn't know her brother knew anything about his expectancies. She wasn't sure why she felt angry at her brother, but she did. Her resentment toured him was growing with every word that came out of his mouth. As everyone crowded around Serena during the day to lay a hand on her stomach or to complement her on how pregnancy made her even more beautiful Jenny wanted to be able to say, 'yep, she's gonna take after her auntie' but with how messed up both Dan and Serena had made their relationship Jenny couldn't do that. She observed her father's and brother's emotions, how Dan was pulling away.

"This is all you're fault Dan"

She voiced out and both Dan and Rufus's heads turned to look at the blonde in the doorway. Rufus looked confused but Dan just as suddenly knew she also knew his secret.

"My fault? How is it my fault when I begged her to let me be there and she refuses?"

Dan fired back and Rufus simply looked between his children completely lost in their argument and conversations.

"Yes your fault! She's your daughter too damn it!"

Soon as the words left her mouth she clamped her hand over her mouth like she'd told him something he didn't already know. It was then when the expression on his face didn't change that she knew that he already knew.

"And Serena told me if I try to claim her then she won't let me be her father. I've tried Jenny. Think I don't feel it when Nate's hands are all over her stomach? That baby she's carrying in mine not his."

Rufus's eyes suddenly grew as big as tennis balls as he looked at his son, he couldn't believe the words he was hearing out of his mouth. Serena… pregnant... baby… daughter… his son was going to be a father? He was going to be a grandfather? What was everything coming down to?

"Daniel Humphrey"

Dan was grateful for his father's lack of middle naming as Dan looked at Jenny and shook his head.

""Thanks Jen"

He mumbled out sarcastically looking up to glare at his sister before switching to look at his father. He could see the question and disappointment written all over his face. It felt like they were going back in time with it all, back to the past January… exactly a year ago when it really came down to it.

"I thought you were with Amanda?"

Eyes were narrowed at Dan until Jenny's cough broke the silence, looking up for a second Rufus shooed her away. With a little hesitation she finally left the room and Dan lay back against his head board and took the photo frame from beside him and laid it on his chest, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I am dad, Serena's five months along and she won't let me leave Amanda. She's losing her mind dad, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my daughter because of it."

It was then in that moment that Rufus put aside his fatherly lectures and saw the worry and pain trapped inside of his son's brown eyes. Rather then seeing his little boy he saw a father that was afraid of losing his own daughter. As much as it scared him he could relate to his son's feelings, the nerves and apprehensions of becoming a father.

"Five pounds and six ounces, she was born six weeks early. She was the tiniest thing I'd ever held. Your mother and I never expected it. They kept her in the hospital for an extra week because she was yellow. Those moments were the worst moments of my life, when they had to put extra oxygen on her just to make sure she was breathing. You're sister was born early all because I was talking to Lily again. Your mother, she thought I was going to leave her. Before we knew it we were in the delivery room and she was in labor. All from working herself up in fear, as hard and impossible as it sounds you have to let Serena take the lead for now. She's the only one that can protect your… I can't believe I'm saying this. She's the only one that can protect your daughter right now."

"I can't believe you agreed to this damn arrangement."

Dan snapped out at Vanessa who was standing at the sink with her hands in dirty dish water. He knew he'd over stepped and struck a cord as she slammed another dish into the soapy water with a frustrated sigh. It was the first sentence he'd spoken to her in two weeks. Since he'd found out she knew about the baby long before he did and hadn't bothered to tell him he wasn't very happy with her. She'd tried to explain to him that Serena had begged her not to but he still didn't care.

"Me?"

She whispered in a violent almost sounding voice.

"You think… like I would so agree to my boyfriend posing as the father of someone else's child. Don't be such a blind asshole Dan."

Vanessa instantly barked back at him and he jumped at the broken tone in her voice.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He studied her just waiting for her to turn around and face him, something she didn't bother to do.

"It means Dan, that what they decide to do doesn't involve me. It's all Serena's choice, everyone always listens to Serena's choice."

Vanessa's voice held a bit of hostility which she'd been more then entitled to. Her day plans of lounging around the rooms in the Archibald brownstone had been remotely cut short when Serena had everything but begged him on her hands and knees to go to the school with her, even when he'd been the one to call her into work without her knowing. As she dropped the dish back into the soapy water she finally turned around and Dan could see the pain and annoyance in her hazel eyes. Her annoyance to Nate leaving her, and the annoyance to the case of her best friend acting like an immature child.

"V, I'm sorry"

Dan said instantly as he stood up from his chair and took a few quick steps in her direction only for her to put her hands up so that he wouldn't come any closer.

"No, your right. You have every right to be mad at me because as usual everything is always my fault Dan, no matter what it is."

After her outburst in the kitchen she'd stubbornly marched right past her best friend with her arms crossed over her chest as she headed into his room and threw herself onto his bed face first in his pillows. She listened intently for his foot steps and sure enough only a few moments later he too shuffled in not as quickly. Out of habit Vanessa rolled over onto her side just as always happened Dan on his side suddenly beside her also.

"how did we ever get wrapped up in this mess?"

Dan wondered aloud as he played with the end of his quilt and avoided raising his gaze to look up at Vanessa. Had it been a year ago he would have known her every thought, so much had changed since the simple days.

"That's an easy one."

Her voice sounded more simple then he'd expected to hear.

"We fell in love and we had no control over it."

As she finished her sentence Dan finally looked up at her and their eyes met. They both knew it was true. The UES crowd had sucked them in with no escape.

"I guess I have to admit your right about that one."

When he spoke Vanessa stuck her tongue out in mimic of him.

"and Dan…"

She paused finding it hard to believe the sentence was coming out of her mouth while they were still eighteen. Of course she knew it was true, but none the less they still had no much of their lives left to live. They'd just started to live.

"You're gonna be a good father. Serena and the baby are lucky to have you."

It was then with the encouragement of his best friend that he actually started to believe even if it was only a little bit that she was right. Maybe he would be ok at the whole daddy thing, as long as Serena would give him a chance to be.

"Thanks V, and you know that Nate loves you."

Vanessa nodded her head as she kicked her legs over the side of the bed her mind made up and her hostilities calmed down. Feeling better then she had she knew where she wanted to head next.

"Vanessa wait"

Dan said as he put his hand up for her to slow down. Vanessa impatiently turned to him, her scarf and gloves already on. She'd already been away from the Archibald Brownstone for long enough, with her cell phone being off all day also she was pretty sure she'd tortured the boy for long enough.

"What?"

She paused for only a second to turn to him as she checked on her cell phone and let the vibration of the million text messages build up, just as strong as her want to be laying in his arms nice and warm under the duvet.

"Be careful"

With Dan's words he earned himself an eye roll and a light smack on his leg she didn't even bother with a smart-assed comment as she simply turned and walked out of the room letting Dan wallow in his thoughts.