Wow! Chapter Four! It took forever to write, since I got writer's block for about a week halfway through this chapter! And I took even more to take the time to actually type this!

...and so we go.

Disclaimer: I don't own ToS, Teletubbies (thank God!), the name Michael Lloyd (he is an actual person!), Oscar Meyer, or West Side Story. I do own Dr.Schniffenhaimer, however. I just came up with that really fast.

"...okay, Kratos, just stand there," Mike said as he positioned Kratos on the hill. He was to star as one of those 'suprises' Po usually gets. Mike ran behind the camera and yelled "action!", and the cameras started rolling.

Anna held up huge cards with Kratos' lines on them. "Po," he said, "violence is bad! You don't need that gun!"

Po acted dumb. "Viowenca?" He acted retarted, more like.

"The gun, Po. It's bad!" he reached out for it, but Po took it back.

"No! My precious..." Po began cradling it in his arms.

Kratos sighed. "Po, do you wanna be like Billy?" He pointed to Lala, who had a movie on. It was West Side Story. It was the scene where the Latino wonder got shot and died. Maria cried, then committed suicide.

"Alejandro," she said as she died, "I'm gay." Her boyfriend watched her in shock.

Po cried, "N...no..."

Kratos held out his hand. "Then give me the gun!"

Po looked at his gun, then Mike, the Kratos, then some porn, and smiled. "You can die, b!" Po cackled as he cocked his gun and fired at Kratos.

With his Matrix-like reflexes, he dadged easily.

Mike happened to be right behind Kratos. He was shot in the head, and was out before he hit the ground.

"Eeeeeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!" Po cackled. He hopped on his scooter, hit the 'pimp me up' button, and took off once it turned into the Oscar Meyer-weiner car.

"Someone call 911!" Anna screamed. At that moment, the ambulance came. They took Mike, then left.

---

Dipsy, Anna, Kratos, Lala, and Tinky-Winky waited in the hobbit-hole. Actually, it was more like Anna and Kratos, because Lala and Dipsy were b-slapping each other and Tinky-Winky was taking a smoke.

A doctor came in. "Can I talk to the parents?"

Kratos walked up (with some funny glances by everyone).

"Mike," the doctor began, "he was shot in the head. We're operating on him as we speak. He may not survive."

Tinky-Winky gagged. "Yes! I don't have to smoke in the Love Dungeon anymore!"

Silence.

"But," the doctor continued, "I have more. Good or bad?"

Dipsy yelled, "The fricking news!"

Silence.

Dr. Schniffenhaimer asked in a low voice, "Are they pregnant?" Kratos shrugged. "Ah, well...he may survuve, but he cannot produce again."

Lala asked, "Produce children?"

Silence.

"Uh, I meant the show."

"Oh!"

Kratos sighed. "Well, I guess the show's postponed."

---

It was really boring the next day. Kratos and Anna were talking about Magnius and his obsession with vermin. Dipsy and Lala were attempting to play Pong with Lala's ball, and Tinky-Winky was smoking freely in the house.

Outside, Gladys was chanting the thing she said when Kratos first arrived again. Then, there was a knock on the door. Anna got up, walked over, and opened the door.

"Hey baby," said a familiar voice, "where am I?"

Kratos walked over and stared at the visitor. "You're in hell, Zelos."

Oooooo, Sir Zelos Wilder! Coincidentally, I was watching everyone's favorite show when I wrote the last part of the chapter! IT WAS RESEARCH!

One question: Should I change this to M? I'm still debating.

So, review now, or expect a 'Teletubbies Season 1' DVD set in your mail!