Gasp! Can it be? Yes! It is! Kratos is Teletubbieland chapter 7! Hoorah! I apologize for being so late guys. I haven't had the time to pull the file off of my church's computer (which only uses floppy discs). But I promise, it gets interesting!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN DIDDLY-SQUAT. NOT KRATOS, NOT THE TELETUBBIES, AND NOT EVEN THE GHOST IN QUESTION. OR WEEJA. WHICH IS SPELLED WRONG ON PURPOSE.

The following morning, Kratos awoke to some very loud screaming.

"Nooooo! Tinky-Winky!"

The angel sighed, and because either Tinky-Winky was dead or was hitting on Lala, he walked out of his room when Anna ran into him, crying. "K-Kratos!" she sniffed. "Tinky-Winky, he's--"

Kratos looked behind Anna, and saw the controversial figure's corpse, mutilated and beaten, dead next to the coffee table. He walked closer. "What happened here? Did he want to re-enact that 300 movie but went terribly wrong?"

Anna motioned to the table. "There's...a note..." she said.

Kratos looked at it, curious about the assumed suicide note that Tinky-Winky had wrote. "Two-for-one walleye baskets at Culvers?" he read aloud, confused.

Anna groaned. "The back side!" she said, a little angry.

Kratos flipped the coupon over, and a terribly written note was on back. He began to read aloud. " 'Dear Anna, Dipsy, Lala, and Shitbag,

This corpse you see here is actually Tinky-Winky's stunt double. The real Tinky-Winky is with me, cruising up and down Las Vegas Boulevard in a stolen Corvette, attempting to hit up the Bellagio like those guys in Ocean's Eleven. We're making a documentary about it, and we're think of calling it The Good, the Bad, and the very Under-Educated, directed by yours truly. Expect it to come out sometime in May. Until then, I'll be taking down each and every one of you single-handedly, before you can say "Rated PG-13 for explicit content."

Your next, Shitbag.' " Kratos looked up at empty space, with the last sentence echoing in his head. He chuckled. "So," he muttered, crumpling up the paper. "He's going to try to kill me."

Dipsy looked up in confusion. "Who?"

Anna frowned. "Who else? Po." The room fell silent, except for the vacuum, which was backed up by whatever of a brain Tinky-Winky had.

Zelos burst in the room, coming from the shower. "Heylo, ladies!!" He cheered...cheerfully as Lala came back with a white cloth, covering the corpse. "How's it going?" Everyone quickly vacated the room, leaving the vacuum and Zelos alone together.

--

That night, Kratos again woke to Anna walking into the room. She whispered, "Let's do it."

Kratos, whose fear was thankfully masked by the darkness, whispered back, "...Do what...?"

Anna climbed on top of him and said, "We're going to hold a seance and attempt to ask the ghost of Tinky-Winky how and why he died."

Kratos, who was immediately relieved, raised an eyebrow. "I thought that Po had killed his stunt double!" he replied.

Anna frowned. "Dude. This is Teletubbies. Even if the episode entails shooting someone, there's no doubles. Whatever Po came up with in that note was just him on crack. Again." She got off him, and led Kratos out into the main room. The tower in the center was set to dim, although the sound level still beeped and booped very loudly. On the floor, Dipsy, Lala, a piece of paper, and an overturned glass were there, waiting for the other two. Anna sat nearest to the paper, while Kratos sat on the other side.

"...I think I know what I'm doing," Anna said, positioning the glass to the center. "I saw this on Youtube once." When she finished, he eyes became slits. "I can't believe I'm actually getting serious about this, but I want you all to remain absolutely quiet while I attempt to make contact with Weeja. Kratos, I want you to place your fingers slightly on the rim of this glass. This is a co-ed type thing, and I trust you completely, so do as I say." Kratos nodded and did what Anna told him.

Anna took a breath, and began. "Hello, Weeja. We'd like to ask some assistance of you as we contact a spirit. We here all fully know the consequences of what happens if we anger you, and we ask you to help us." She tapped the glass, and muttered, "Portal on." Of course, nothing happened, and Anna continued.

"...Weeja, how many spirits do we have with us tonight?" she asked. The glass that the two were touch began to move, up and over where seven was written. When the glass stopped, Anna sighed. "Is there one around named Tinky-Winky?" she asked, and the glass started to move on 'Yes.' Anna sighed again. "Is he willing to talk with us?" No motion. "May we...?" Soon, Anna bowed her head, and Kratos was half-tempted to break the seal and help her, but then she looked up. Her eyes were spacy, and Anna began to mutter all sorts of nonsense, before she stopped and made at least some sense.

"...hello?" she muttered. "Is someone there? I can't see a bloody thing. Maybe the fire...?"

Kratos looked at Anna--actually, the ghost--oddly. "Tinky-Winky, you died in a fire?" he asked.

The ghost raised an eyebrow, laughing. "Tinky-Winky?" he snorted. "That's the funniest name I have ever heard of! My name is Xavier, and I did die in a fire. I think. Oh, and I'm French, too, and I really like little boy--" Xavier was cut off, and Anna hung her head, and looked back up, and smiled.

"Hehe," Anna chuckled. "I guess we got connected with the wrong ghost. Let me try again." She placed her fingers back on the rim of the glass. "Weeja," she said, "we would like to talk with Tinky-Winky. You placed us with the wrong ghost." After another second, Anna began to be 'possessed' again, and her head looked up. "...hey! I was in the middle of a really long puff, dammit! I don't want to come back to the living!"

Kratos and everyone around him knew they had finally placed the right call. "Hey, Tinky!" Lala said, smiling.

Tinky-Winky looked toward Lala. "...aww, and I thought I had escaped you for good. But, I can't see a blasted thing. Where am I?"

Kratos sighed. "You're in the house."

Tinky-Winky groaned. "Crap. I thought I would never come back, and to top it all off, you're still here."

Lala sighed. "Tinky, we know that Po killed you, we just want to know how he did it."

"Weeeeell, it all kind of happened so fast. I mean, one second I was taking the longest puff in the world, and one second later, I was down on the floor with Po's gun at my face. He kept threatening me that he was going to kill me if I made the slightest sound, so I didn't do anything. But when I tried to get away, Po whacked me in the face with a very hard candle holder, and I passed out after that. I don't know if that's what did me in, or if he killed me while I was unconscious, but whatever."

Kratos leaned closer. "Did Po tell you anything else?" he asked.

He didn't respond for a while, and then nodded. "Yeah. He finished before he knocked me out, '...I'll meet you in the Love Dungeon.' "

Kratos sighed. Not the Love Dungeon again. He then perked up. "Tinky-Winky, you mentioned earlier when you were alive about some Love Dungeon. Where is that, anyway?"

Tinky-Winky shrugged. "Dunno. Kept having to ask Mikey where it is. I have the attention of a mosquito, I'll have you know. Now, if you excuse me, I want to go back to having the longest smoke one could get." And with that, Anna returned to normal, and slumped over.

Kratos leaped over the board to help her out. "Anna!"

Anna weakly smiled. "Don't worry, Kratos. I just remembered that being possessed by a ghost is hard work. You get tired. So, I going...to go...to...slee..." Anna passed out in Kratos' arms.

Lala coughed, apparently irked by the romantic scene one only sees in romance manga. "...wish he'd do that with me," she muttered, and crawled into the bed next to her.

Dipsy stood up, and walked over to the door. "...I'm going to go for a walk. I'm going to leave you two lovebirds alone." He left.

Kratos turned back to the majestic maiden in his loving arms. He thought of carrying her home, but he remembered Summer's threat, and decided to put her in his bed. After all, he didn't need sleep. He sat outside of the door that lead into his room, and waited for the morning.

--

Dipsy walked over to the windmill, where an ominous figure stood, apparently waiting for him. When he walked up to the meeting point, Dipsy sighed. "Good Lord," he cursed, handing the mysterious figure a bundle, "I thought that seance would never end. And when we got connected with the wrong ghost..." He trailed off. He looked up toward the moon, then looked back at the figure. "Hmm. Are you defying the light effects? Or are you just trying to make a more dramatic appearance?"

Po walked out from the darkness. "...what? Didn't it make me more mysterious or what?"

Dipsy sighed. "Not if I already know who you are, Po. And I'm kind of worried about this meeting place..."

Po scratched his head and cocked his gun all at the same time. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well," Dipsy sighed again, "you never know if someone's watching you."

Po smirked, and walked closer, patting his appendage that somewhat resembled a hand on Dipsy's shoulder. "Well, we're going to have to clear up any suspicion, my precious."

(...CLIFFHANGER ENDING!...)

Dramatic, eh? No? Oh well, whatever. I hope you enjoyed it.

The massacre begins...