Congratulations, children of the world of Tales of Symphonia fanfiction, we have reached Chapter 8 of Kratos in Teletubbieland, more commonly know between people who know me as KiTTL! I am so happy that you who have decided to stay with for something not too far away from a year, because, as of the last chapter, this story has the most reviews of any story I have! Well, that doesn't exactly say too much, seeing as the rest of them suck badly. I want to find out who you people are and give you great big hugs! No joke! And don't worry, more chapters are soon to follow, not going to end until we're in the double digits. And I will try to include Zelos more! I know he was pretty scarce last chapter, and probably will be this one! But don't worry, he will make a comeback before the story is over! Promise!

Disclaimer!!: I do not own any characters, places mentioned, or plot devices mentioned related to the game Tales of Symphonia. I also, (thank God), don't own anything related to Teletubbies or any LSD inspired thing they may have come up with. I do, however, own all my OCs. That's Anna, Michael Lloyd, Summer, and the newest one I have placed on my list, Clive D. Bagg, or can be called Antonio de la Buenta. He changed his name.

Chapter 8: Wait, People Actually Write This?

The next day, Anna came in extra-early. Like two-in-the-morning early. She was carrying what appeared to be a thin slice of metal. Of course, Kratos was awake, so he spent the wee hours of the morning with her talking about the most retarded NPCs in the game. Dorr seemed to be the worst. For some odd reason, they didn't turn the lights on. Possibly to give this part a mysterious feeling that only deepens the cliffhanger, so that the reader has so much anticipation about the fate of Dipsy, that he or she might write threatening letters to the author wondering what happens next. But one would highly doubt it.

"So, Anna," Kratos muttered, "why are you even here this early?"

She sniffed, apparently hinting it was a sensitive topic. "After I went home yesterday, after the séance, my mom—no, Summer—finally cracked. She began telling me how once upon a time my father and she had a lot of fun one night. But suddenly in the middle of it, she changed the topic to…you."

Kratos blinked. "Me?" he repeated.

Anna sighed. "That is what I just said, right? But anyway, she started ranting about how you were planning to kill her in seven days and go on a homicidal rampage, killing Richard Simmons and throwing his silky pants into a fire pit that offers sacrifices to M. Night Shamylan." She shuddered. "Then, she mentioned Clive got a name change."

"Who's Clive?" he asked.

"Clive D. Bagg. The nerdiest, lamest, most unpopular, needs-to-get-a-life-badly guy you or I shall ever meet. Except for Lloyd. Although I haven't really met him.

"Clive is…a fan of mine. Summer thinks he's ideal for me because he's too dumb to se the date-rape drug, but I just think him as crude and nerdy. He was the president of the Official Star Trek Fan Club for awhile and he has a tattoo of Spock on his upper though. He showed an entire baseball stadium once. For a while, the whole romance thing was sort of like a Cinderella-type thing, given the fact that Clive was the fugly stepsister—" she quietly coughed a 'Robert' out "—and I was the prince. Then, once we left junior high, it got bad."

"How bad?" Kratos asked, silently hoping that this Clive got a sex change as well.

"Pretty bad. He kept putting love notes in my locker, giving me boxes of chocolate with only the coconut ones left and offering to teach me Klingon. He always was my lab partner, which wasn't always a bad thing, only because he helped me when I really didn't get it, until I found out he was making up. But one day, around prom, he left me a condom and a note reminding me that 'no barrier will ever separate us, no matter how small I actually have to buy them for 50 cents at Speedway, in addition to being so lubed up that a handless monkey could use it.' The condom had a huge hole in the package."

Remembering that was how Lloyd was made, Kratos shuddered. "Hopefully this guy left you alone…?" he said, silently praying to himself.

Anna nodded slightly. "But only after a year or two. Once I got into this crappy job, I told him was going to learn abroad in Kazakhstan, and so he bought himself a plane ticket there with the money he took from his dad's wallet. But he eventually must have thought that I went home, so he came home about earlier this month. Summer told him about where I'm working now, and that I hooked up with some other rich billionaire guy that was cruel to me, but I couldn't break up with him because if I did our family would die of starvation and he would have the mob kill me anyway. Which pretty much sounds like a bad soap opera. So, he's going to be on his way later today or tomorrow to challenge you—or, technically, the CEO of a large conglomerate—to the ancient Klingon custom of Arkslah."

Kratos blinked. "What the heck is that?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me. I think you have to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl only playing as Captain Falcon while singing 'Never Gonna Give You Up' by Rick Astley on karaoke a machine."

Kratos blinked, not knowing if this was a safe thing to do or not, since he'd never heard of Brawl, or Captain Falcon, and definitely didn't know he was being Rick Roll'd.

(…)

Later on, when the sun was starting to peek over the highest high on the set, Lala woke up and turned the pillar on 100 brightness (which blinded Kratos momentarily) and full blast on the bass machine and noise, causing the house to shake like it was in the middle of an earthquake.

Anna walked out of the bathroom. Her normally waist-length chocolate hair had become extremely short, with the edges looking very unprofessional.

Kratos gaped at her hair once his vision had returned to him. "Did you just cut it now?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Nah. I did it before I left ho—OH FOR THE LOVE OF SCIENTOLOGY, LALA, TURN OFF THAT MACHINE!!" The bass machine had gone off again, shaking the house rather violently.

The Teletubbie darted over, turning it on low. "I'm sorry! Dipsy got lost again, so I thought he might hear the baaaaaaaaass and—wait, what did you just say?"

Anna groaned, totally ignoring the question. "You're not a sheep. He's not back yet?"

Lala shook her head. "He does that sometimes," she sighed, sitting on the couch. "He's been gone fore a few days before."

"But with the serial killer loose," Kratos reminded her, although he couldn't care less about what happened to him, "there's a good chance he's dead. Or kidnapped." He added that last part to fend off a rabid Lala, although he didn't care about her, either. "And then there's always Po."

"So!" Lala said, changing the subject. "Did you bring your laptop today?"

Anna nodded, pulling the metal sheet from before onto her lap. "Fresh new batch of good—" she coughed afterwards "—fanfiction."

Lala clapped, plopping her huge mass onto the couch, causing the far cushion to fly off and hit the vacuum in the side, causing it to tip over and knock a few chairs with it. Kratos, for once, almost envied the composite life form. But, he also held his urge to Judgment Lala on the spot for the fifth time today. He bent over the back of the couch, peering over Anna's shoulder.

She quickly erased the picture on the screen, which appeared to be Kratos and Yuan—

Once Anna saw his eyes widening in fear—which she interpreted and hoped it was—she quickly brought up another screen. After hitting some lettered keys, a title came up at the very top: " – Unleash Your Imagination." And it was at this subtitle that Kratos began panicking, wondering what horrors that Anna would divulge into…

Lala peeked. "What's been updated?" she asked, excitement well past its full point (which, for someone with a short emotional range like Lala, wasn't too far).

Anna thought, typed some more, and hit one key. "Nothing off the top of my head," she thought aloud, finger to her chin. "But there is a huge development on the rated 'M' section of Naruto, although that's no huge improvement. Just a bunch of bad OCxGaara or bad NaruSasu fics written by 12-year-old girls who type 'HAWT YAOI' in the summaries." Both shuddered, and Kratos just watched, half not wanting to know, half too scared to want to know.

Anna looked at a small list. "Huh. That one Gash Bell fanfic finally updated. 'Bout time…" After a few more clicks, Kratos began recognizing some name on there. Lloyd. Colette. Yuan. Mithos. His own…and Anna's. But who was 'Kruan?'

Anna once again followed Kratos's gazed to the title of one of the few Kranna ones on the screen and nodded. "Sure, there's a whole bunch of stories of you and Anna. Some even with Lloyd in there. But he's not important; it's just mostly romance." She continued ranting as Zelos, who had apparently entered without anyone noticing—or caring—a few minutes ago, pointed to a title.

"That one," were the only words he said.

Anna looked at the title, giggled, and clicked.

Kratos stared out the window in the inn.

He didn't know where these feelings came from. He could barely remember the last time they weled up in side him and they hadn't been as strong. BUT he know they was love.

All Kratos could think of was himm.

Genis.

Zelos choked on the Coke he happened to be drinking, spewing some out on the back of Kratos' head. After glaring at the Chosen for a second, he turned back to the computer screen. Anna had already exited out, and she quickly clicked on another link, without even checking the summary, which, unbeknowest to any of them, included the words "HAWT YAOI" in it.

Anna quickly scanned through, and clapped her hand over her mouth, trying to surpress hysterical bits of laughter. She went to go click the back button, but Kratos quickly shot out his hand and stopped her. "Let me read this," he said, almost afraid to say. Anna blushed. Whether it was because the love of her life had just touched her hand or because he suddenly liked badly written yaoi fanfiction, she nor any of the readers would know. Kratos removed his hand, and leaned against the couch, getting a better look.

Most of it seemed pretty dull and boring, so Kratos took hold of the mouse and scrolled down a few pages or so until he found text that caught his interest.

The Desian had told Lloyd to come alone. Otherwise magnius would kill all of his companions and eat Noishe at the Cruxis Executive Barbecue. With Sweet Baby Ray's.

Lloyd's nightgown blew in the wind. "What do you want with me?" Lloyd demanded. "I'll fight you to the death if I have to!"

Kratos sighed, realizing that the writing wasn't completely screwed up, until he read further.

"Hey," Magniussaid. "I see a penny! Bend over and pick it up!"

"Oh, neat!" Lloyd said, bending down to pick up the penny. "Hey...," he said, still in that position, "I don't see the penny!"

And in that moment, Magnius was upon him. "The penny is a lie." Magnius quickly pulled up Lloyd's—

Zelos again choked on his Coke. He gave the can an evil look, then put it down, then stepped about five feet away from the beverage. Lala passed out on Anna's shoulder, who then pushed the composite life-from on the floor, who landed with an unusually large thud. Anna then clicked the back button, and scrolled through the fanfiction, pausing every now and then to read the summary, then continued scrolling, not really wanting to click on any of the sites.

Kratos noticed an author's name that caught his interest: LloydIrvinglol. He pointed to the story he saw the ridiculously-overused penname on. Anna sighed, then dejectedly clicked it.

thar wes this rilli kul gui nemmed Loid nd he hd a swird, rite?!? ND hi luvved Collit. so ah relli relli meen d00d nimed Methos kidnipped Collit bicaz shhi waz teh choozen lol, sso Loid wint 2 safe her! lol Loid nd Mentos gut in a swird fite nd llod winned nd safed Collit.

The rest also had looked like it was actually written by Kratos' seventeen-year-old son. After trying to decipher the horrible spelling and grammar, Kratos found out that the story was actually a SheenaxLloyd fanfiction, with several points where the two confessed their extreme love for each other, except for the fact that they were telling everyone else. And once they actually did get to saying the three thousand, three hundred and eighty-seven-word dialouge between the two, they randomly made out. Out of disgust, sadness, and complete shock, he nodded, allowing Anna go exit out of the browser. She sighed, closing the laptop and turned around, facing the two. Zelos was on the ground, laughing and choking and coughing all at the same time. Kratos just stood there, not really understanding what just happened.

Just as things were getting extremely quiet (except for Lala's loud snores) and awkward, the door conveniently blew open, making everyone jump simultaneously. "Oh Anna, dearie~!" an extremely high-pitched voice rang out as Anna quickly darted to another room.

Clive D. Bagg was upon them.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUNNN!

That was some of the most epic pieces of crap anyone will read. EVER. Have fun, kiddies.

The fanfiction is all creidted to TightropeDancing. Go read The Fanfiction Fanfiction. NOW.

It has the KiTTL seal of approval. And then some.