Hawkeye was stretched out on the bed, naked, hard as hell and trembling with desire. B.J. was poised over him, looking down at him with that beautiful smile of his, and Hawkeye found he couldn't speak. Couldn't do anything other than stare up at that face, lost in those eyes.

Then B.J. kissed him quickly on the mouth and moved down the bed, bending over to take the rock-hard erection in his mouth. Hawkeye licked his lips, looking down his body to watch his lover… the sight was glorious, the sensation exquisite.

He shut his eyes then and put his head back, surrendering… his hands clutched at the bedsheets, his entire body was on fire. He hadn't had sex for quite some time, he'd been too obsessed with B.J. to consider dating in recent months… and it'd been a very long time since he'd been with a man. But this wasn't just sex and it wasn't just sex with a man… it was sex with B.J., the love of his life. He wanted to memorize every moment, he wanted to savor every touch, every kiss.

But his brain betrayed him, unable to focus, too lost in sensory overload to file much of anything away for future reference. Blood pounded in his ears and his knuckles went white as he gripped the sheets tight… tighter… Until finally he let out a cry as he came, hot and hard, into his best friend's mouth.

Sometime later, the frenzied lovemaking having given way to sweet afterglow, they stretched out next to each other, sharing long, slow, lazy, wet kisses. The sex had been fantastic, but this—lying belly to belly, holding each other and just kissing… this was pretty damn good too.

B.J.'s hand traveled lazily down and then back up Hawkeye's chest. His thumb found and then circled a nipple. The expression on his face was one of utter bliss.

Running a finger lightly along B.J.'s lower lip, Hawkeye said with a smile, "So, this wasn't a new thought, huh?"

"You know it wasn't."

"Back in Korea… you thought about this?"

B.J. placed his palm on Hawkeye's chest and stared at it, considering his words. "Sure I did—a lot. What I felt for you… I don't think I'd ever felt that before. But I loved—adored—my wife. It was confusing as hell." He turned his focus to Hawkeye's face, searching his eyes. "Believe it or not, I thought about talking to Father Mulcahy about it, but I never got up the nerve. I didn't think anyone would understand… hell, I didn't understand. All I knew for sure was that I didn't want to complicate my life… I mean, any more than it already was. But yeah. Of course I wanted you. There always was something between us, wasn't there?"

Hawkeye reached down and stroked the fingers splayed out on his chest. "Yeah. I guess there was," he admitted. "But you did the right thing. You were married, and to a wonderful woman. We wouldn't have been able to forgive ourselves if we'd acted on our feelings."

B.J. leaned down and kissed Hawkeye's chest. "But this… This feels right. It is right. I mean, I'll always miss Peg."

"I know."

"But she's gone and I've accepted that, and I'm ready for a new start now. There was a time when I didn't think I'd ever heal, but I have—and you're one of the reasons why. A big reason why. I love you."

Hawkeye's heart did a slow somersault in his chest. It'd been implied, of course, but it was the first time B.J. actually spoke the words. "I love you too, Beej," he said.

It was after 2 o'clock by the time they fell asleep, sated, wrapped around each other, both of them smiling.

Outside, the snow continued to fall.

They lingered in bed the next morning, with the house still to themselves and at least 10 inches of new snow on the ground outside, keeping most sane people in their houses despite the tolling of church bells. As they lay there snuggling, there was soft, lazy laughter… quiet conversation about work and Erin… warm touches and tender kisses… but mostly just a lot of savoring the moment.

When finally they rolled out of bed mid-morning, they padded naked to the bathroom and showered together, facing each other under the spray, trading coy smiles and wet kisses, and lathering one another with soapy abandon.

Hawkeye couldn't imagine any better way to spend a Sunday morning. He supposed that was sacrilegious. Well, he'd never been much of a churchgoer anyway. But standing here in B.J.'s arms, after so many years of dreaming about it, certainly had him believing in a higher power.