Before and After
May 2008
After, part two
Derek and Penelope had their romantic candle lit dinner at her apartment. During it he reached out and took her hand.
Dropping his voice he said "I just want you to know that my feelings for you didn't start when I heard you were hurt...okay? They've been growing all along. I just don't want to waste another day."
She was very touched and her face showed that. But there was also concern there. "Don't take this the wrong way...." her words died out.
He let go of her hand, shifted in his seat and withdrew from her. "Go ahead, sweetheart, you can say anything to me right now. Even...'no thank you'. Or 'I love you but not like that'."
"I love you....like that...but its so hard for me to believe-"
His voice got hurt and protective all at once. "That I could love you with all I got in me? Baby girl, why can't you feel how you're all I want in this world?"
"Its not hard to believe you love me because I see it in your eyes and I have since I woke up in the hospital....its hard to believe you and me could last. I want to believe more than anything. But, as much as I love my fairytales and online fantasy world, I just don't think a couple like you and me can exist for any considerable period of time. The real world doesn't work that way."
She gave him a pained and apologetic look.
His face got pinched. "So, what, we don't date because we'll probably break up eventually? There is that risk for every relationship. Why does ours have more? Is this about...us being different races?"
"Don't go there with me. To even say that to me is an insult to what we share."
"If its not that then what is it? What do you mean two people like us? Like us how, baby? Make me understand what's going on in your head. I can't just accept a death sentence with no explanation."
"We have something amazing between us, I know we do. It's a spark that I've never felt before for anyone. But if we didn't work together at the BAU then you and I would never, never, never be together because if we saw each other out somewhere I would drool and you would look right past me. That's just reality. Now that you know me you care for me but, in truth, you didn't hit on me once ever since we met. Not in the grab me and kiss me kind of way and you still haven't."
"I would cross a crowded room to hit on you. To make you mine! I'd cross all of heaven and earth to get to your side, baby girl."
"This is a crazy and emotional time for both of us....it will pass....and I'm afraid we'll find that we just don't work in the everyday...away from work, from danger and drama, from phone flirting all day and night, from life and death fear....How can I keep you excited for the long term, Hot Stuff? You're so sweet and you'll say I can but I don't feel that way."
He got up and walked to her side of the table. He crouched down and took her face in his hands. "You might not have faith right now in us lasting. But I do. If you can't believe in yourself....believe in me and my love.....Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen....That's from the Bible, baby girl. I've been reading it a lot since you were hurt. Looking for my answers about the man I was before and the man I want to be tomorrow. Looking for my way to be all you want and need in the future. Neither of us is perfect but I love you! Don't be crazy right now and walk away from us over fear. I want to spend my whole life with you and if you push me away you'll only ruin the rest of my life and yours over nothing but a fear that isn't based on any truth at all. Please, baby girl, turn away from the fear and turn toward me."
She gave him a teary smile. "I know you think I have a hard head sometimes but, handsome, you just got through to me."
He brought his lips to hers and they had a very short and tender kiss. He pulled back and then stood up. He held out his hand and she took it.
Derek led them to the couch and they sat down. He bent close to her and nipped at her bottom lip. She brought her hands up to caress his face and bring his mouth firmly against hers. They couldn't get too carried away because she was still recovering but they could gently explore each other's mouth, kiss each other's neck and nibble on each other's earlobes.
After a half an hour, when they were both breathless, Derek held her face in his hands and stared in her eyes. "We work, silly girl. Tell me you know that."
She grinned giddily. "If I say I don't will you kiss some sense into me?"
He chuckled and went back to kissing her.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The first night Derek slept at Penelope's house that week they talked long into the night, while cuddling on the couch, and she fell asleep resting on his chest. He just watched her sleeping for a long time before he drifted off too, not wanting to move her when she needed her rest and he loved holding her.
In the middle of the night he woke up to her moaning in pain, in her sleep, and thrashing around slightly. He woke her up by softly saying "Penelope."
Her eyes fluttered open. "Hey," she said in this tender and awed way.
"I think its time for another pain pill."
She glanced at a clock. "Past time. I forget the last dose. Guess you had me preoccupied."
"I should have remembered, baby girl. Here. Let me get it for you now."
She shifted away from him and he got up. In a few minutes he brought back the pill and water. She took it.
He said "You should go to bed, sweetheart. You'll be more comfortable."
"Only if you come with me," she said, in a stubborn way that said she would sleep on his chest on that couch if he didn't get in her bed with her right now.
He raised his eyebrow at her in a playful way. "Are you seducing me, Garcia?"
She ran her finger down his chest. "Believe me you will know it on the day I seduce you. It will go down in the history books. Your screams will shatter glass all over this neighborhood."
He grinned at her. "Time for bed, silly girl. Go."
She stood up and held out her hand. His face got serious. He took her hand and they walked into the other room. They lay down and he spooned her. Into her ear he whispered "How am I doing on making you new good memories?"
"You're a rock star at it."
He smiled against her neck and kissed there. "Sleep," he said, his voice thick with love and lust.
"Yes, Sir Derek, for tonight I will leave you untouched but prepare yourself for the night when I spend it all touching every place on you I desire."
"Mmm," he murmured "such a good thought to fall asleep to."
THE END