My Oh My!
Chapter Three
Sometimes, Arthur thought he'd been born under an unlucky star. It was the only logical explanation for his life; which was, at that moment, spiralling out of his control very, very quickly.
He'd never been quite satisfied with his life, what with almost single-handedly bringing up his brother and having a 'friend' like Elizaverta, who liked beating people over the head with blunt objects for no real reason (haha. And he was the one stood outside Ivan's office now because he needed a counsellor?)
But at least life had been bearable.
Certainly liveable.
But not now.
Now, the current situation was so bad Arthur was in actual fear of his life. Or, at the very least, his sanity. The one thing that prevented him stabbing a fork in his eye was the fact that, urgh, that was over-dramatic and overblown, and only an idiotic attention-seeking prat like Francis would do such a thing, and anyway he wasn't worried, not at all, hahaha-
"Hey, Iggy! You okay?!"
Arthur jumped violently, nearly tripping over his own feet. He had to steady himself against the wall. Breathing in and out slowly – for a few split seconds his lungs had constricted – he tried to calm himself.
"Whoa! Over-reaction much?! I know I'm awesome, but geez – I thought I'd given you a heart attack! Hahaha!"
Laughter.
It was really bloody hard to calm down when he was being laughed at; by Alfred F. Jones, no less.
Arthur felt his cheeks flush.
"G-g-get lost!" he hissed, trying to sound intimating.
"I was worried about you, Iggy! I mean, you're so old~ What if my amazing-ness gave you a stroke?"
…Yeah.
The intimidation thing wasn't working too well.
Probably because his face was still red, like a sunburnt strawberry.
Arthur sighed, praying Alfred – his part-time friend, most-of-the-time annoying pest who inadvertently got into everyone's way and generally made a nuisance of himself – would leave. At the same time, he wondered if he could channel some of Ivan's frightening spirit. It'd help getting rid of the over-enthusiastic American.
"Sooooo," began Alfred.
And then he stopped.
Silence.
Arthur could feel the other's gaze metaphorically pin him to the wall. It was relentless; in fact, the American wasn't even blinking. It was a little off-putting.
More than a little.
Within a few seconds, Arthur felt himself tense up. The gaze was uncomfortable; it was making him uneasy. His resolve to stand strong cracked.
"Will you stop doing that!" he shouted, turning about sharply and folding his arms.
"Doing what?"
"Staring."
"Am I?" Alfred sounded genial enough, but Arthur could hear the laughter behind his 'innocent' words; he was being a git, as always, trying to mess around with Arthur's head or something.
"Why are you even here?" snapped Arthur crabbily. "Shouldn't you be eating, or…" he faltered, trying to think of something the blond would find amusing. "Eating?"
Alfred pouted. "I do stuff other than eat, Iggy."
Arthur raised an eyebrow.
"Da~mn. Elizaverta's right, you are a bitch sometimes."
"Why. Are. You. Here. Alfred?" Arthur hissed through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to strangle his self-proclaimed 'friend'. Or 'buddy', as Alfred liked to say.
"Because. I'm. Bored. Arthur," replied Alfred, imitating the other; arms folded, eyes narrowed.
"Don't be facetious!"
"I can't. I dunno what that means." Alfred beamed. He was doing a very good impression of an idiot; which was funny, because he was an idiot.
Sheesh.
"To be honest, Arthur…"
Now, this did catch Arthur off guard.
He actually sounded serious.
"I think you look kind of lonely, stood out here all on your ownsome. Need someone to talk to?"
Unsure of how to deal with the suddenly, surprisingly sincere Alfred, Arthur said nothing. Nothing expect, "Humph", which wasn't even a word. Arthur mused; it was strange how he could write eloquently in English, but when it came to dealing with people, his vocabulary shrank to a strange assortment of grunting noises, a few 'meep's and an array of curses.
"Why are you stood outside here, anyway?" asked Alfred. His voice dropped to a low whisper; "Ivan's completely insane. You should treat your health more seriously!"
"Who are you to lecture me about being serious?"
Alfred smiled hopefully. "Your friend?"
"Dream on."
"You know you love me too~!"
"You are absolutely insufferable!"
"Ehh. Stop using such big words. It's making my head hurt!"
"Bugger off."
"Mmmnope. Don't think I will. Not until you tell me what you're doing out here – I'm all curious now!" Alfred's eyes lit up, like a kid on Christmas opening his presents. He'd had a sudden brainwave. "Are you trouble?! Do you need help, Iggy?"
Arthur had his mouth open, ready to make some snappy retort – but at the word 'help', he froze, lips parted into an 'o' of surprise. His face blanched.
Alfred blinked in confusion. "W-what? Really?!"
The shorter boy winced.
"Seriously?"
At this, Arthur's facial muscles began to thaw out. Eyebrows furrowed, he said; "I'm always serious." And then he scowled. "Bloody hell…"
"H-hey, Iggy! I was just joking, but… Whoa. I knew you were cranky and old-fashioned n' stuff, but you're not insane, right?"
"Don't be daft, of course not," said Arthur firmly. "It's all Elizaverta's fault, poking her nose into other people's business… A bit like you, actually."
But the barbed comment rolled right off Alfred, like water off a duck's back. He hadn't noticed it – or maybe hadn't understood its implications.
You couldn't be subtle around Alfred. You had to shout at him so loud his ears bled before anything would penetrate his thick skull; and even then, he'd probably just forget it five seconds later. There was no point even trying.
Arthur resisted the urge to slap a palm against his forehead.
All of a sudden, a voice penetrated the air-
"I'm sorry, Ivan! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have bothered you like thiiiiIiiiiIiIiisss!"
-and there was a loud slam.
Crunch!
"Fuck!"
A galaxy of stars exploded before Arthur's eyes, rendering him blind, helpless. His face was on fire, searing and burning and just plain hurting like it'd never hurt before - apart from maybe that one time when he was five and Elizaverta had pushed him so hard on the swings he nearly looped the bar on the top. Needless to say, he fell off and broke his leg and Elizaverta laughed.
It was then, as Arthur was taken to the hospital, that he came to a horrible conclusion (especially for a five-year-old): I have shitty friends and the world's out to get me.
That harrowing philosophy was firmly in place now.
Arthur liked to think he fell rather gracefully.
Alfred's laughter told him otherwise.
"HAHAHAHA! You just got TOTALLY OWNED by that door! That's so funny! Jesus, Iggy, you should've seen your face! Hahahaha! You're such an IDIOT!"
"Alfred. You're. NOT. Helping." Arthur snarled, his face twisting into a half-embarrassed, half 'I-want-to-pin-you-up-by-your-eyelids-and-watch-you-die-slowly' expression – whatever that would look like. His threat was punctuated, however, by him turning to spit out a mouthful of blood onto the floor.
Urgh.
Arthur wrinkled up his nose, disgusted with himself. Such a thing was so improper! …But his mouth wouldn't. Stop. Bleeding.
With a grunt of pain, the poor Brit staggered to his feet, zombie-like, completely off balance, room still spinning, lip still bleeding. The blood had, somehow, without his knowledge, dripped onto his white school shirt, staining it garishly.
Oh, great.
"Hahaha…ha…" Alfred's laughter died somewhat, as Arthur's glare became more malicious. It was a look that plainly said 'don't mess with me or I'll sneak into your room at night and put a firecracker in your liver' – at least, to Alfred. "Sorry, man. But that was pretty hilarious."
Arthur's voice was cold. "I'll bet."
"Yeah! You fell flat on your ass!" And any attempts Alfred had made of being tactful had flown straight out of the window. He bit his lower lip, trying not to laugh.
And failed.
Miserably.
"S-shut up!" cried Arthur, face heating up. "You fucking wanker! I-it's not funny!"
"Pshhhhh. That's a lie and you know it."
"U-um…" a soft voice (obviously not Alfred, who only had two volumes: loud, and louder) interjected, which had hitherto been unnoticed by the arguing pair. It was shaking. "T-that was m-my fault, I-I mean, I, um… A-Are you okay? I-I'm sorry… I d-d-didn't mean to do that!"
It was a girl.
Well… Her face was certainly girl-ish, but the rest of her body…
That chest just didn't seem to match that young face.
Her blouse was even missing a button.
Maybe term girl-woman would be more fitting, then?
Arthur had no idea where to look. The floor? But that would surely look rude. Her face? But then his eyes would automatically get sucked towards her cleavage, like planets and stars are sucked into a black hole.
Well, this was nice and awkward.
Oh, and his stupid nose was still bleeding.
Alfred, at least, was more direct about his feelings. He whistled under his breath, and muttered – so only Arthur could hear – "duuuude, she's hot."
"Katerina, are you okay?" an all-too-familiar voice said. Sure, it sounded benign, but underneath that apparent calm lurked something icy cold; it made Arthur shiver.
At the sudden appearance of Ivan, Alfred's face blanched. He turned to Arthur, smiled pleasantly – a smile that clearly said 'you're on your own, buddy' – and left, trying to walk as quickly as possible without looking suspicious or cowardly. Arthur knew, if he were to ask Alfred about this later, he'd make up some excuse like 'noo, I wasn't scared! I just remembered that, uh… My cat's having babies! Yeah! You know you thought Tony was a guy? Well, there's a funny story about that…'
"I-I'm okay," said Katerina, smiling at Ivan – apparently, she was braver than she looked. "I'll see you later, yes?"
All of a sudden, Arthur felt a strange, irrational urge to cry out to retreating back of Katerina, for she was the only buffer between him and Ivan and if she left…
Arthur didn't even want to think about.
"Well, Arthur~" Ivan said. His tones were cheerful enough, but looks could be deceiving. "I suppose it's just us two, da?"
"…"
"Oh, and by the way. Your nose is bleeding."
Arthur suddenly felt very alone in the world.
a.n: When I try to write I keep thinking 'this won't turn out very well' or 'it sucks! I fail! DD:' and I kind of thought about deleting this story, because it's making my head hurt xD But then I said 'no! I'll persevere!' C: So I hope you like it.
Even though it takes me 347390473 years to update, ffffff. I'm a bad person D:
This story still kind of doesn't have a plot, though XD I'll just see where it takes me~ Shalala~
Read, review, relax
(^_^)