Thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you all seem to like the premise even if this is only the set up of the story. I know that building the story slowly won't be the best way to get reviews, but I decided that I'm going to adhere to my planned plot as closely as possible and try not to care if the number of reviews flucuates! I'm trying to build characters and a plot that doesn't completely center around Jack and Kate, though later in the story they'll be more prominent. I'm sure this'll be harder than it sounds, but there's a first time for everything. With every story I try to improve, and this is the only way I see that happening.
Sorry for the rant, but enjoy the chapter. Leave a review if you're feeling nice today!
Chapter Two
The Power of Might
When Kate's mother had told her she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, Kate was stunned, not sure what to do or how to help. No matter how many good wishes and prayers she made to a God she had never believed existed, Kate was pretty sure that none of it would help. The power of positive thinking was a complete myth—how could prayer and good will stop cancer cells from multiplying, ravaging her mother's body until they took the hope out of her?
Neither could, and neither did. All the proof necessary was lying in a coffin, and a cheap one at that because of the piling medical bills, buried beneath six feet of dirt in a small town in Iowa.
It was all scientific, she told herself, and only the drugs and the chemotherapy and the radiation could even come close to fixing her.
Kate couldn't say she was shocked by Sam's admission that he had cancer. The man looked like a disease was wrecking his body. His skin and hair were dulled, and his haunted eyes showed that he'd given up fighting.
She was looking at a dying man, and he just happened to be her father, the man she'd just met and felt connected to for no good reason.
Hearing the same type of news for the second time in her life—that one of her parents had cancer—made it no easier, and still elicited no immediate response. Maybe the flaw wasn't just with her. Maybe, she thought, there just isn't a right thing to say.
"I know it's not, or at least I hope it's not what you wanted to hear, but there's no sense in me hiding the truth from you. You woulda figured it out pretty quick I think," Sam told her, shuffling awkwardly behind the coffee table, wringing his hands together in the same way Kate noticed she did.
"You think that this," Kate motioned to the two of them, "would've gone beyond today? This one meeting?"
The older man suddenly appeared flustered. "Well—I guess—I guess I just thought that's why you came out here. To get to know me. Convince yourself you weren't missing out on much."
Kate smirked despite how uncomfortable she was. "There wasn't much planning behind any of this," she admitted. "To be honest, I never expected that I would have enough courage to come find you, and I didn't expect you to be nice about it."
Sam cocked his head back and Kate saw the first hint of a smile. "No sense in being angry about things anymore. Not when your life takes a turn like this." He sat down on the far end of the couch. "Besides, if it doesn't work out between us I won't be around for long anyway."
"It's not funny," Kate said, her voice steady. "I'll admit that I hardly know you and I definitely have no right to feel this way, but I don't think I can handle this again… losing another parent."
"I've hardly been a parent, Kate. And I didn't even know you existed until 20 minutes ago. Don't worry about an old guy like me. Don't make this harder on yourself than it needs to be."
Kate leaned forward, filled with what she could only identify as mild disgust for this man's laissez-faire take on life.
"So you want me to leave," she stated, "because I shouldn't have to go through this?"
"You don't deserve it," Sam said, and the two held eye contact for what felt like a minute.
If the situation wasn't so awkward already, Kate would have laughed. "And you do?"
There was nothing Sam could tell her that would convince Kate he had explored all of his treatment options. If he didn't care, then she would have to care enough for the both of them.
"Who's your oncologist? Who's the one who told you there's nothing else you can do? I wanna meet this doctor, hear it for myself."
Sam grimaced and debated telling Kate to leave, but thirty years of guilt he never knew he was supposed to feel was quickly catching up to him. The least he could do was to humor her. She had come all the way out here; she might as well get her money's worth.
"This might sound insensitive, but why on earth do you care whether I live or die?"
Kate's eyebrows furrowed together and Sam knew that he had upset her.
"Excuse me, but some people, such as myself, have an inane sympathy toward other humans," she said sarcastically. "Might as well have someone fight for you if you don't give a shit yourself."
"That's exactly it though. There's nothing left to fight for. I've accepted it, Kate."
"I haven't. Not yet, and I'm pretty convinced you're not telling me everything. Just give me the names of your doctors and let me get in touch with them, and if, like you say, there's nothing more you can do, I'll back off, leave you be. But if there's even the slightest chance that you can get healthy again, I'm finding a way to make it happen, and you're gonna go through with it."
Sam laughed, somewhere deep down admiring her courage though frustrated with the change of plans. "That sounds like a threat."
Kate took in his chuckle and decided to play along. "It is."
"Sam never mentioned he had a daughter," the man who had introduced himself as Dr. Robert Ruane said.
Kate sidetracked the question, feeling that the long-winded explanation of their reunion was neither necessary nor appropriate.
"I just found out about his diagnosis, and he tells me that there's nothing left to do. I just wanna know if this is true, or if he's so tired of fighting it that he's given up."
"I'm not authorized to give the details of his treatment over the phone, you know," the older man sighed. "But I can tell you that Sam isn't lying. It doesn't sound like you two are close, but hey, if there's anything you ever wanted to say to the man, I'd say it soon."
Dr. Ruane hung up abruptly, leaving Kate feeling like the wind was knocked out of her.
Since Sam had two treating doctors, Kate decided to ignore the bad news for the time being and call the other. She had left Sam a little over an hour ago. The man looked a little relieved, but still smiled when she told him she'd return that night, if it was okay. He nodded and asked what she wanted for dinner. It was all a little strange.
"Dr. Holland's office," a chirpy-voiced receptionist answered, "this is Valerie."
After briefly explaining the situation to Valerie, Kate waited for over five minutes on hold, until an impatient sounding woman held the phone to her ear with an exasperated, "This is Dr. Holland."
Just as Dr. Ruane had, Dr. Holland found Kate and Sam's situation strange, once again mentioning she had no idea of Sam having a daughter.
"Look, I get that you're trying to help your father, but in my professional opinion there aren't any viable treatment options left. I don't know what else to tell you other than to cherish the time you have left together."
Kate winced at the obvious line, but continued to question her. "In your professional opinion, is there anyone else I can go to for another view?"
"That wouldn't be honoring your father's wishes," Dr. Holland stressed. "We discussed the option of removing the tumor from the spine, but now that it's metastasized and gone to the liver, even that type of surgery would yield very little result. Spinal tumors are rare; the fact that his was malignant is even rarer. Your father's tumor metastasized through the arteries, and there's no telling where it's going next—"
"But you're saying that it might be possible to remove the spinal tumor and treat the liver cancer separately?"
Dr. Holland let out a frustrated groan. "It might be possible, yes, but highly improbable. Getting to two different tumor sites in such a short period of time and doing two different treatments is very risky, and the chances of it benefiting him are slim. Are you sure that this is what you want? This might make things harder on Sam, when I know very well that he's accepted—"
"That he's going to die?" Kate interjected. "You're saying that there's a small chance, and Sam promised me that he'd take it if I found it for him. I know you don't agree with me, but it's not your job to form opinions about me; your job is to treat Sam to the best of your abilities," Kate ended, surprised at her own insistence. "So can you tell me what the next step is? What should I be doing?"
After a long pause thick with tension, Dr. Holland spoke again. "You need to find an oncologist to treat the liver cancer—"
"What about you?"
"I can't, with a good conscience, continue to treat your father unless I speak with him and I really believe this is what he wants."
Her words stung, and Kate wondered for a moment what she was really getting herself into. What she was getting Sam into.
Dr. Holland continued. "Then you need to find a surgeon who is specialized in spinal operations. And good luck finding one who's willing to remove a tumor from such an unmanageable location on the vertebrae."
Kate closed her eyes and bit her tongue; she wouldn't get anywhere from yelling. "Can you give me a recommendation then?"
She heard files shuffling and the line cracking. "Go see Jeffrey Samson for the liver. He's too nice for his own good. I'll send over your father's files and see if he'll take him on. I don't think you'll have any problems with that. But tell your father to call me. Like I said, if this radical treatment is what he really wants, then I'm more than glad to be a part of it."
Kate scribbled down the brief information so she could do some research on the internet. "And for the spinal tumor?"
Dr. Holland sighed again. "If I'm being honest, I really doubt that any doctor will want to take Sam's case."
"But who's the best shot? There's gotta be someone."
"Jack Shephard," Dr. Holland said. "Young, upcoming surgeon with more experience than you'd think and one serious god-complex. He might not be able to help himself."
He certainly didn't sound like Sam's best option, but trusting Dr. Holland's opinion on the matter, she wrote down the information. Kate thanked her.
"Don't get your hopes up, okay?" Dr. Holland said. "I only said that he might consider it."
Kate looked down at Jack Shephard's name, circling it over and over with her pen. "All I need is a might."
Up next: Kate meets a certain handsome doctor ;) and tries to convince Sam to go through with treatment.