Close Quarters

Chapter Five

April 2010

Derek happened to come back into the hotel room in time to hear Penelope saying "JJ, listen to me and hear me this time, just because I'm not with Kevin does not mean anything is changing between- oh, hey, handsome! That you?"

He called out, from his room, "It better be. Nobody else better be sneaking in here to be around my girl." His heart jumped with joy at the knowledge she was now single.

But he wondered why she just didn't tell him that. Was she afraid he'd hit on her, and even though she talked a good game, that was the last thing she wanted?

He went into her room and handed her the coffee as Penelope said, into her phone, "Give us ten....okay, fine, five. Bye."

Penelope's eyes searched Derek's. "You heard that, didn't you?"

"That you and Lynch are on a break? Yeah. What's the deal?"

"Its not a break. Its over. He pulled the plug. I was just not who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with." She set down the coffee, after taking a sip.

"Are you all right?"

"It was six weeks ago. I've done the whole I Hate Men thing and the whole Ben and Jerry Recovering Plan thing and the whole Why Did This Happen to Me? thing and the whole..." she noticed the scowl on his face and said "you're mad."

"Six weeks?" he hissed out, as his hand clamped on the back of his neck and he moved away from her. Then he gave her a long look that was filled with intensity. "I knew we weren't as close as we used to be but this clinches it. What the hell happened to us?"

"Life and it isn't pretty."

"No, it isn't life that made us like this....miles apart....its not talking and not being honest. Why couldn't you tell me what happened? No. Back this train up, why couldn't you tell me you got with him in the first place? I always wondered what was going through your head when you kept that from me and there is no time like the present for you to give me a true confession. Why did you do me that way?"

She whispered, hoarsely, "The team is waiting on us."

"Then let them wait, Garcia!"

"Hey! I'm not having a screaming fight with you before we go to work so lets just table this, okay? I'm not with Kevin. I don't have to run my dating life past you for your thoughts and opinions on it, okay? I was embarrassed, okay? He said I....he said...."

Derek's voice dropped. He placed a hand on her arm. "What did he say?"

"That he couldn't spend the rest of his life sleeping with a someone who played dead the whole time....played dead, those are the words he used."

"Bastard," Derek hissed out.

"He should know. I gave him my body for two and a half years and it turns out that, except for a few times at the beginning, I was just lacking in his eyes. He said he kept hoping we'd get it back but he came to realize I would never change. He tried to spice it up.....I just wasn't into it."

"Screw him. He never should have been your man in the first place."

"You're mad because you care about me but Kevin isn't a bad guy-"

Derek placed a finger over her lips. "Hush. He's a fool. There's not one damn thing cold about you. You're one hot mama and don't you ever forget it."

With that said, Derek captured her lips in a kiss that started soft and quickly heated up as his arms wrapped around her back and pulled her flush to him. She moaned when he licked at her lips and then thrust his tongue inside, moving it skillfully over hers and leaving her whimpering in his arms.

She started to move back toward the bed, pulling him forward with her, and just as they tumbled down his cell phone rang.

They were late for work.

XXXXXXXXXX

Penelope's body was humming and her brain was fuzzy. What the hell had just happened? Her best friend and her biggest crush and the man she loved most in all her life had kissed her. And she showed him just what she thought of that kiss....she wasted not a second in taking him toward the bed.

Her skin burned up and she knew her face was red as he moved off her. His eyes stayed on her as he answered his phone. "Yeah, I'm coming."

Hearing those words only made her squirm as the fire he started between her legs throbbed and ached for relief.

Morgan hung up. "We got to go."

Penelope sat up and scooted away from him. "Stall for me. I'll be down in a few."

"Okay...um...." He rubbed his head. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Its fine! Don't worry about it."

Derek stood up and headed for the door, grabbing his coffee as he went, "Right. Lets just pretend it never happened," he said, sarcastically. "That's something you've perfected!"

With that he slammed out of the room leaving her with wet panties that needed to be changed before she could go be a tech kitten.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was another rough day.

They discovered that the unsub had most likely killed several women in Ohio in the months before the Indiana murders started. Reid and Prentiss were sent to Cleveland, a three hour drive, to talk to the local police department and walk the crime scenes.

Meanwhile back in the small town that was the scene of his latest known abduction and murder the rest of the team exhausted themselves by searching for more bodies in the woods. All except Garcia, who was on the computer all day, trying to lure the unsub into picking her profile on the dating site.

By ten that night Hotch let them off. They decided to order pizzas and ate them in Dave's room, while drinking some beers. Penelope was not looking forward to going to her room because she figured that her and Derek would either fight, ignore each other, or have some big, emotional talk.

She didn't know that she was ready to find out how it was going to go. So she made an excuse to go to JJ's room, saying she wanted to watch a TV program that they both liked, and ended up spending the night in there.

The next morning Derek was pissed. Penelope just had to glance at him, when she went back to her hotel room to shower and change, and she knew that he was fuming mad.

He leaned against the door frame of the doorway that adjoined the rooms while she got out her clothes that she planned to change into. She finally said "I just want some time to think before we get into all of it, okay?"

He didn't answer.

She asked, as she pulled out underwear and tried to not let him see them, "Can you blame me? Everything is happening really fast all of the sudden."

He grunted at that.

She looked over at him. "Derek, please, try to see my side of this," she said tenderly.

His face softened at her tone. But his voice was numb when he said "Lets just forget it, baby girl. What's the difference anyway?" and then he walked out.

Hot, fat tears rushed her eyes and slid down her face.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Derek spent that day in a fog. He felt guilty for not being totally present for his job but he was hurting inside and it was hard to ignore that.

He had finally kissed his precious, sweet baby girl. This should be the happiest day of his life. They should have made love last night for the first time.

But instead she hid from him in another room down the hall. He stayed up most of the night waiting on her to come back, only giving up as the sun came up. All night he thought about all the days he had known her. He, sadly, came to the realization that she had no faith in him.

She bought the hype that he was a player still and didn't see the man beneath the image. The one who had desperately fallen for her years before, and admitted it when she was hurt, and who loved her enough now to want to give her a ring.

But she didn't want a ring. She didn't want his kisses. She didn't want him. It burned. But it was a fact of life that he had to face. And he had to get over it so they could stay friends.

This felt like deja vu. He had never wanted to feel this bad again. There was no relief in knowing an answer to how she felt about him.

There was just new sadness to meld onto the old. New wounds to take residence with his old scars.

God, this hurt.

It hurt like hell.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Pull over," Penelope told Derek as they were driving to lunch. Though he wanted to ride with Hotch, Dave and JJ, all cramming in that SUV, Penelope had insisted he drive them by bringing it up in front of the team and putting Derek on the spot.

"What?"

"You heard me. Pull over. We need to hash this out."

He let out a frustrated breath. "They'll be waiting on us."

"Its not like they don't get that you're mad at me. You think they don't know? They can tell that something is off between us. Lets just deal with this, here and now."

Derek pulled into a parking lot. "We had all last night to talk about this and you want to do this now. We need to focus on our jobs during working hours-"

"This is our lunch hour. That means we have an hour, right?"

"I don't want to get into this and then have to go back to work."

"Can you look me in the eyes and say you can focus on your job feeling like you do?"

He just stared at her.

She went on "I know I've made so many mistakes. I'm not saying, by a long shot, that you are blameless but I've messed up time and time again. Last night I should have faced you....faced this....I just freaked out."

"That says it all."

"No! It doesn't say anything that I need you to know, Derek. It doesn't say how you are my true north. It doesn't let you know that I'm still on fire from that kiss....even though it was yesterday morning and even though you've spent all day mad at me and looking like Clooney just died. I'm hurting too but, even now,......I'm so hot for you that its driving me crazy. I feel like I'm being burned from the inside out and its all over you."

"Penelope," he said firmly, as if he didn't believe her anymore or that it didn't matter.

She brought her hands up to take hold of his face and gave him a kiss. He was stiff at first and she moved her hands down to undo her seat belt, never letting her mouth leave his, and then pressed herself against him. Her pebbled nipples rubbed his hard chest. She moaned and whimpered, trying to deepen the kiss, till he gave in, relaxing into the kiss and fisting his hands in her hair.