Where The Secrets Are Hope

Often in life God shows his gratitude and generosity. He gives us a lesson to learn; he puts us in a lose/win situation. For me it was losing my father in order to gain Bella. Sure I had her before but it wasn't until the most important man in my life selflessly gave up his life in order to keep me alive. Surely I had entered the darkest time in my life but I had to be there so I could get here in this blissful, euphoric state of love.

I had to reach my breaking point.

But I wonder of God's existence. How could a man do this much destruction? Make people monsters? Make Bella a monster?

Why would he do something this horrible to an innocent human being?

Where was Bella's win?

A lot had happened in both of our live. We were both broken, we were lost; we were haunted souls that couldn't find our home. But there was a bright side to this whole thing. We were finally, and truly together.

We were in love.

Nothing could or would ever change that.

It had been three hours since everything happened; since Jacob's attack, since Bella told the truth, since I told her I loved her. It had happened.

We chose to stay silent as we entered my still home. I was not worried about my mother or Alice. I just wanted to be with Bella, I wanted her safe. We made our way up the stairs, my arm stretched out behind me as Bella's hand held onto mine. She was walking slowly behind, her eyelids dropping. I could tell she was tired, and I was eager to make sure she could sleep peacefully without worry.

In my bedroom I kicked off my shoes, watching as Bella slipped of her dirty white tennis shoes, and crawl onto my bed.

She didn't even bother to get under the covers.

She simply moved to the left side of the bed and rested her head against the pillow. I shed my jacket off and joined her – our eyes never left each other's.

We lay across from each other; her eyes tired, mine curious. I brought my hand to her flushed cheek, caressing the soft skin with the back of my fingers. I kept them there, my eyed glued to hers. I felt her hand trickle along my bare arm, making the hairs rise. Her fingers interlocked with mine.

She guided our hands to the area in between us. Time seemed to stand still – almost as if God was giving us a chance to be together without any interruptions or pain.

It was just me and her alone in the world.

I grinned, she did too. Bella's eyes closed slowly as her body began to relax. She was sleeping. I would have joined her but I didn't feel like wasting away the time I had with her here beside me.

Here we are; lost in each other's presence as we try to push back all the things that had happened hours ago. It was much like starting a new chapter in a book; a fresh start, a stopping point, a check point. She and I had started a story that had grown, that had continued onward and became something bigger then we had ever dreamed. But as the ending goes, we do not know. We are happily stuck at the ending of one chapter, waiting to see where the next one takes us.

Truthfully I don't want to know.

I just want to be here, at the stopping point, with Bella – forever.

This was the interlude in our dainty little play of romance, fights, loss, love and grief.

But this interlude was also a prelude of something that we may never get again.

Us.

I wanted to ask Bella what was going to happen. I wanted her to tell me how this had all happened. I wanted answers. I needed answers. But asking anything right now felt wrong. Doing anything but holding Bella in my arms felt wrong. We had this time together, whether it was our last I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I was going to make best of what I had, right now and right here.

I was aware that I shouldn't be doing this. That I shouldn't be getting my hopes up when pain would surely follow. But I was at peace, I was in my euphoria. I couldn't let that go. I had longed for it for so long that doing something like waking her up so we can talk about things that would put both of us in a distress state.

But I had to.

There were things that we had to talk about no matter how much either of us didn't want to.

I shook her shoulder gently and her eyes slowly opened and looked into mine. She smiled and closed them, planning to go back to sleep no doubt.

"Bella," I whispered. Her eyes snapped up to me.

"Mmm…yeah?" she replied, clearly exhausted.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

She yawned and nodded her head, her eyelashes kissing her cheeks as she closed her dark orbs once more.

"Bella?" Her eyes snapped up to me. "I need you to stay awake for me."

She stared at me with a little more insecurity but slowly sat up. I followed her lead and pressed my back against my head board. She did the same but rested her head on my shoulder. She yawned multiple times before I finally opened my mouth to speak.

"What is Jacob?" I asked her. The image of the beastly creature that had killed my father popped into my mind. The monster was Jacob. Whatever Jacob was.

Jacob had killed my father and Charlie, maybe others.

The realization just hit me like a ton of bricks.

Jacob killed my father.

The anger stabbed through my like a drowning body fighting a current in a river.

"Edward?" Bella asked softly, her hand grazing my face. I turned my attention down to her, unclenching my jaw and letting my fists relax.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Jacob…" She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Jacob isn't the only thing out there like that."

I felt myself grow very confused.

"What?" I managed to croak.

"You know all those kids I hang out with at school?" I nodded my head. "They're just like him."

My eyes narrowed at her as I figured this puzzle out. If Jacob was that thing and the others are the same thing then –

"Bella, why are you hanging out with monsters?" I asked, my eyebrows rising.

She stared at me as if I was some strange creature from another planet. "Don't you get it, Edward?"

"Get what?"

"I'm one of them," she stated with what seemed to be anger.

I felt a smile grow on my face, and then a laugh escape my smothered chest. Bella stared at me with fresh tears in her eyes as I continued to burst it out in laughs of hysteria. I knew she wasn't lying – her face was anything but lies. But I didn't want to believe it.

How could I?

Eventually the laughs faded and I was left with confusion, hurt, and disbelief. Bella was left with tears, anger, and what seemed to be self hatred. I wasn't sure. I just knew I was the cause of it.

"Bella?" I called out to her. She turned her head into my direction, her eyes staring anywhere but at me. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulders and sniffled, wiping away a tear. I took her face into my hands and made her look at me, not proud that I had to force her. She stared into my eyes, a larger sadness growing as I wiped away each tear as it fell.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking. I was crying too.

She smiled at me. "You're not supposed to cry."

I grinned back. "Well, I can't help it. It's how I've been for months."

She sighed and scooted away from me until she was off the bed.

"I want to tell you everything." She spoke as she lifted up one of my books from my dresser. She looked up at me then. "I just don't think I have the strength to do so."

"I want you to tell me." No I don't. I'd rather be in the dark. But those weren't the words that came out of my mouth.

"Are you sure?" I nodded my head. Mentally shaking it.

She sighed and set the book back down, making her way to my side of the bed. She sat beside my legs, scratching off the dried up mud.

"Jacob, and I, and everyone. We didn't always used to be what we are-"

I cut her off. "Which is?"

She looked at me and grinned, at least, I think it was a grin.

"Werewolf."

I snorted. Then I realized she wasn't lying. "Oh."

She nodded her head and bit her lip.

"Seriously?" I asked, still unsure about the whole thing.

"Yep," she said nonchalantly.

"Like, silver bullets, full moon type of stuff?"

She nodded her head slowly. "Yeah, except some things are a bit sketchy."

"What do you mean?" I questioned her, sitting up a bit straighter.

"Well, it used to be only full moons that made us change, but now some of us can do it whenever we want," she explained.

"Oh, that sounds…cool." It was my only response.

"I guess," Bella mumbled. "But anyways, we haven't been werewolves all our lives."

"Then how'd you…change?"

"There's this legend that the Quileute's have. It was said that we – I mean, they, descended from wolves. Everyone figured it was a bunch of BS but I guess it wasn't. They did descend from wolves, just, werewolves."

"I'm so confused," I confessed.

"Me too, Edward. No one will tell me exactly everything. From what I can tell it's always been this way. Not everyone in the tribe can become a werewolf, it just started off as one and carried on. Like a disease or something."

I ran a hand through my hair. "And..how did you become one then?"

She sighed and pulled away from the bed, crossing her arms and walking around my bed to stare out the window. She stayed quiet for a moment, her breathing shallow and harsh.

"Jacob…attacked me," she stated. I felt myself sit up straighter and my fists lock. As if she could sense what I was feeling she turned around and looked at me, ready to defend the monster. "It wasn't his fault. It was an accident. I forgive him."

"Well, I don't!" I growled.

She sighed and her face grew sad, she began to walk to be but froze suddenly, panic all over her face.

"What?" I asked.

"Shh…" she purred.

I felt my hands grow moist and I began to panic by her harsh breathing. There was a noise, I wasn't sure what it was, it echoed from downstairs.

And then I heard it clearly.

"EDWARD!"

"It's Alice," I stated, breathless and a little relieved. I jumped off the bed and ran to my bedroom door, throwing it open as I called out her name.

"Alice? What's wrong!?" I shouted as I made my way down the hall and to the stairs. I descended down them with Bella on my heels. Once at the bottom I came to a full blown halt at the sight I was seeing.

It was Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper – side by side; covered in blood. Their expressions were blank, almost deathly. I could see their chests rising up and down as they breathed deeply. Their bodies shook and sounds of fear escaped their lips.

"What happened?" I asked, running to my little sister who was on the brink of tears.

"Em…Em – Emmett's dead," she croaked in a horrible sob.

I felt a smile touch my lips. "Yeah, right."

"It's true," Jasper spoke. I turned my attention to him. He walked into the living room and took a seat. I followed him, holding Alice to my side. Rosalie stayed where she was. I eyed her as I passed by her shivering body. She had her hands wrapped around her stomach and seemed dazed off.

I knew Bella was following us, somewhere. I pulled Alice down on the couch with me. I felt her small arms wrap around my waist and I pulled her into me. I stared at my best friend. He seemed so old and haggard. He leaned back in the chair and took deep breaths.

"What happened?" I asked him, feeling Alice's shudders run through my body.

"We were at the cabin." It was Rosalie who decided to speak. Everyone turned their attention to her, including Bella who found her way behind me and Alice. "I told Emmett everything…he got mad…he went into the woods. I went after him…but there was-"

"An animal?" Bella asked, her tone nonchalant.

Rosalie nodded her head. "It was like a..bear, or like, a wolf-bear. I'm not sure what it was."

"It was like a fucking werewolf," Jasper stated.

I looked at Bella, she was staring at the wall behind Jasper. I was waiting for her to say something – to do something. She didn't.

"Did you guys call the cops?" I asked.

"We planned on to," Jasper said, scoffing a little.

"Well, why didn't you?" I asked.

"There were more," Rosalie said, fresh sobs in her chest.

"How many more?" Bella hissed.

"Like, three or four. I didn't want to stick around to count."

Before I knew it Bella was running out of the living room and to the front door. I let go of Alice who tried clinging back to me but I was too far away. I followed Bella outside the house, calling out to her. She cut through the lawn and into the dark woods.

"Bella!" I screamed. "Bella!"

There was no response. I waited for a while and then finally I heard the noise of a wolf howl. It was deep and loud. But that one wolf turned into two, then three. Before I knew it there were many howls in the night light, right below a full moon.

I felt my breath kick up and I began to retreat into my home. But then I heard a twig snap and I shut my eyes in preparation for my long awaited death.

A/N: Time for a long list of excuses for the delay in an update.

1. In November I was participating in National Novel Writing Month. I wrote 50,000 words in 18 days. Therefore I could have gone back to writing fanfiction stuff but I moved the 20th of November and didn't get the internet until the 1st of December.

2. I didn't have time to write once I got hold of the internet again. I was busy with other things.

3. When I did get time I spent my time bullshitting around – bad excuse but true.

4. I got writer's block and began writing something random; a oneshot titled Scarecrow. Go read it :D

And that's it. Here' s a majorly sucky update. I know I promised an outtake chapter a long time ago but that is currently being written by a guest writer. And another reason for the sucky chapter is because I wasn't sure where to go.

So, a sequel. Do you want one? Do you not? There's a poll on my profile, please go take so that way I can pump out ideas for whatever option wins.

Sorry for the lateness. Forgive me please :D