"La la la la la, lalala!" An oddly all the time chipper sea sponge skipped over to a rock which was the first of three homes on conch street. He seemed his usual upbeat self, a jellyfish net in his hand as he waited for Patrick to appear. As he went to knock on the side of the rock it instantly sprung up. Patrick's back seemed glued to it. He looked down hard at himself, trying vigorously to tie a tie to himself. Sweat beads running down his face in drenched frustration.

"Patrick?"

It took a second for him to notice, but when he did he started to spin his head around in all angular directions. "Huh? Who said that??" Grabbing the tie and now lifting it a bit. Examining it further. "You can talk?" His face revealed every dumb emotion inside of him, but it quickly slipped into anger and an almost oddly placed betrayal. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING THIS FROM ME??!"

"Dyahahaha, It's me Patrick, down here."

"Oh, hi ya SpongeBob. You just missed it. My tie... It was talking!"

SpongeBob ignored this comment and ran his eyes over Patrick's attire. He was dressed uncommonly nice, even with a pressed neutral coloured dress shirt on. "You're sure dressed to kill. What's the occasion buddy?"

Patrick jumped down from the rock's ceiling, still struggling to tie the tie. Fidgeting in a losing fight; thinned fabric entwined with his stubby pink hands. SpongeBob offered him a helpful hand. "Allow me."

Patrick handed it to him in relief and started to speak. "My parents are coming for a visit and we're going to a fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant."

All the features in Spongebob's face fell flat as he slowly handed the tie back to his best friend. His face couldn't move for a few moments. He appeared almost horrified. "Patrick... This is a clip on tie."

Patrick didn't say anything. He didn't get the fact that meant he could just apply it by clipping it onto his shirt and not having to tie it traditionally as he did to his every morning. SpongeBob was just disturbed Patrick had spent hours with the tie without noticing. He sighed and decided to pick it up someplace else to avoid explaining. "So fancy restaurant huh? Should I hold a table for three at the Krusty Krab? Dwahahaha"

"Afraid not buddy. We're going to a real fancy place tomorrow night. To impress my date."

Blue eyes and thin lips stabbed far into his face. This was something very unforeseen. He adjusted to the shock and eventually started to get giddy with the news. Grinning and jabbing his friends side playfully. "Ah good job buddy. Who's the lucky aquatic vertebrate?"

"Dunno. Haven't found one yet. I told my parents I had a girlfriend to get them off of my back, but now they want to meet her! I'm in trouble! I need your help SpongeBob!"

"Sure, anything pal." SpongeBob smiled, he was more than willing to help someone out.

"Help me find a date." Patrick couldn't think of anyone, which for once wasn't due to his relatively low space of memory span. They didn't know many girls. There was Karen, but she was married and too evil to do a favor for someone out of niceness.

"Sure, that shouldn't be too hard. After all I am le matchmakeaire extraordinaire." He laughed with indulgence as he let his voice adopt a french accent.

"Oh boy! I knew I could count on you SpongeBob. Hmm... So how about Ms. Puff?"

SpongeBob's face bungled as he had to be the one to disappoint his friend. "Sorry but after what she went through with Mr. Krabs she said she was never going out with someone who had any association with me again. She even made me promise not to bring any inquiring guys to her." He reached deep into the pockets of his square pants, upon his face; his eyebrows were low in struggle as he extracted a contract that had been signed by him, her and her lawyers.

"Krabs?... How about Mama Krabs?"

He started to blink hard. He realized his friend was the King of dumb ideas but this time made him question if this was a practical joke or a serious inquest. "Can you name someone that is not Krusty Krab boss affiliated, please?"

Patrick snapped his fingers to himself as he sadly crossed Pearl's name off of a list he had just magically acquired in his hands.

He didn't stay down for too long, In fact his features were aligned blankly now, almost emotionless as his deep, usually monotone voice asked dumbfounded, unaware it might not garner a pleasant reaction from SpongeBob. "What about Sandy?"

Bolting blue eyes popped open hard, conspicuously and offensively wide in physical outcry. Staying without blinks for quite some time. All of a sudden he was struck. Patrick had caught him off guard. (To say the least) "Sandy? My Sandy?"

"Uh huh." If this had been anyone else with a normal analyzing brain they would have picked up on how his tone had dropped. How there was indifference in his voice at mention of all other candidates. But his voice started to crack when Sandy was one of them.

"I don't know Patrick."

"That is unless, I dunno, you like her or something." Patrick's face remained impassive, but SpongeBob's started to flare up. He seemed mad, accused and defensive. "Me like San. . . Patrick! Where would you get an idea like that from?"

"I dunno. I never thought you liked her before, I just wondered if that was why you didn't want me taking her."

SpongeBob stood opposed! "Me? Not want you to take her? That's crazy talk. I don't care if you take her. Don't worry Patrick. I definitely do NOT like Sandy. I don't even talk to her much anymore these days. She's not even my type"

"So you don't like her, LIKE her?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, Guess I would know if that happened. Sandy would have told me. Me and her are closer than uhh uh 'Two catfish in a skillet'."

"Close? Since when are you and Sandy close?"

"I go over there all the time because I have nothing to do while you and Squidward are at work. What else do you think I do for eight hours straight every day?"

"Try to find your number in the phone book?"

"Nope. Well yes, but not the entire eight hours. I'm sure you remember back, a few months ago, when we all got trapped in the vent at the Krusty Krab? I pulled out Sandy's other walkie-talkie."

SpongeBob nodded.

"How else would I have got it if we didn't hang out all the time? We were playing cops with the walkie talkies and I took mine home by mistake."

This had SpongeBob surprised. He couldn't picture Sandy being so playful and goofing around like that. Playing cops. Especially with Patrick. As he recounted memories in his head Patrick had told... Like at his house party Patrick and Sandy danced together while he was banging to be let in. When he had an accident and decided a sedentary life was best, Sandy road Patrick inside the house on her back, both laughing. Before that they were sledding together. His arms wrapped around her shoulders.

"Welp I better go buy some chocolate with nuts when I ask her. I'll just ask her later tonight. Thanks for all the help! Later SpongeBob!" Humming Patrick left the scene. SpongeBob decided to go over to Sandy's to prove he didn't have a problem with this, he was going to ask her if she'd go with Patrick for him.

He let himself in, he looked in all directions finding emptiness before calling out. "Sandy? Sandy It's me... SpongeBob. You around?"

He heard crying coming from inside of her tree. Falling flat were his eyes as the formed thin slits of sympathy and undeniable shock. "Sandy?"

Sandy wasn't a crier, she wasn't the emotional type. The only time he'd seen her cry was just once, when she was homesick. Another when she thought he was going to die at Goo Lagoon with his stupid pants prank, but then again it wasn't crying. It was light, hardly existent tear production that barely touched the surface. He couldn't explain to himself why but he had to find her and console her. Then again, he was this way with EVERYONE. If it had been Patrick, Squidward, Pearl, Mr. Krabs, Plankton he would have wanted to offer his help.

"SpongeBob?" Sandy looked out the window of her tree, misty eyes that looked as if they'd just got done crying looked out for him.

"Yes, It's me Sandy. May I come up?"

"Uhh... I'm kind of..." She started to sniffle and brush away tears. She had that Texas pride and hated letting anyone see her cry, or admit to it. "Busy with sumthin, maybe it's best ya'll come back tomarra."

"Sandy. I'd like to come up now. It's kind of important."

He stared at the wooden door and all of a sudden it opened. It must have been something new she installed because he didn't remember her door opening electronically before. He walked up the oak steps. The entire inside of the tree was carved into a living quarters. Wooden bathroom, rooms, kitchen. It was very creative. He walked into her library to find her sitting on the floor, her arms on the seat of a rocking chair and her head nuzzled into her arms. He watched her back rise up and down slowly, in a heaving manner. Like those did when they were crying. Next to her was her acorn phone. "Sandy... What's wrong? You NEVER cry!"

She looked up, eyes soaked in tears and a burning red tint to them. Her nose had switched pigments and it was apparent she had been crying. "Oh... Howdy SpongeBob, 'ain't nothing to worry yerself about. I was just having myself a good ol' cry."

He watched her, inching closer, he took a seat Indian style next to her. "About what?"

"My boyfriend just broke up with me. . ." She huffed and drew a hard breath into her chest, she sniffed one more time.

"What??"

"I know, whadda jerk, right? Said I was too aggressive and he didn't see that workin' out too well."

"No... I mean, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? Since when?"

She closed her eyes and recoiled the memories back until she could remember an exact time. "Gosh, going on about two years now, But that don't mean too much to some people apparently." Sandy lowered a framed picture of her on the desk. She had to rid the photo from her sight. It was her; an arm wrapped around another squirrel. SpongeBob's eyes got big and wide by the photo. This guy wasn't big and muscular, like he'd always imagined Sandy would want to date but instead, shorter than her, round and chubby. Not too athletic and kind of sloppy looking. His body in fact reminded him of Patrick's.

This day had been one of the weirdest days. And he was use to weird days. Sandy crying? Showing sensitivity? This was very out of character. Her having a boyfriend? She'd never shown any romantic interest before in anyone, or even made a comment she was a romantic being. People usually assumed people like that were those smart, doctor types that were married to a profession, which she was. So this struck him as odd and had definitely shocked his system. "I don't understand, This whole entire time you've never even mentioned liking romance!"

" A'course not. Why mention that to any one in Bikini Bottom? I'm a faithful gal. Haven't I always told ya'll my heart was in Texas? Surely you didn't think I just meant on account of it bein' my homeland, did you?"

"Well, yeah." He scratched the glass on his helmet that covered his chin, dumbfounded.

Sandy noticed the look of confusion plastered upon his face. He looked lost. She sighed to herself, remembering who she was talking to. He didn't understand love. "Sorry fer the burden, I'll be fine In a couple'a days. Just need to bury myself in extreme sports to take my mind offuh this here blunder. But I really shouldn't be talking to you about this. You don't understand love!"

He stopped staring at the wall in confusion, popped open his mouth and stared darkly at her. Almost offended. "What makes you say that!?"

"SpongeBob..." She addressed in a tone that hopefully would wake him back to reality.

He turned his head away. Sandy was the one who "didn't understand."

He started to count on his fingers. "Two years, huh? We've known each other for five years, so you started to date him two years ago. TWO YEARS SANDY! Why didn't you tell ever me? Friends tell each other things Sandy. They trust each other."

Now it was Sandy who was itching her chin. She stood up and started to remove more photos from her desk and place them into a box to discard of. Her back facing him, she seemed to not really care for this subject. "Well SpongeBob, I guess cuz we aren't really that close of friends anymore. You're getting them square pants in a knot fer nothing, it wasn't an issue of truth, it's just that it was kind of private, ya know? I didn't really tell anyone. You're probably the only person I woulda felt comfortable enuff tellin' 5 years ago, but we haven't been close for years now. We barely ever talk anymore and every time you come over ya'll bring along Patrick. We use to be close where we'd hang out just the two of us partners. But oh well that's how the haystack crumbles sometimes. I know everything changes."

She was right. They weren't the same two anymore. When he first met her they were so close. He sang in front of an entire beach just for her, he almost killed himself to be next to her in her home without his helmet, they even were going to take a trip, alone together through the stars and to the moon. Over time they seen less and less of each other. Sandy got heavily into her science and he never tried to rekindle their friendship, or make time. He felt like he had let her and their once strong bond down.

"You didn't think I'd mind?"

Quickly she scrunched her face in confusion. "Mind about what? Having a boyfriend you mean?"

"Yeah."

Now her eyebrow had raised into her forehead higher. She was struck with perplexity, but of course being a scientist she also was intrigued and determined to find an answer. "Why in Heavens would I think you'd mind? Did you think that I thought that you were..." Sandy cleared her throat. "Don't worry I didn't, I know all about yer situation with Patrick."

"WHAT!? Sandy you've got this entire thing wrong." He choked out.

He glanced up at her. Showing her eyes; in them seriousness. Making sure she believed him. "I'm not... Patrick's not... We're not that."

"What?" Her face stilled, she seemed surprised. "Are ya sure?"

"Yes I'm sure! Don't you think I'd know if I liked a girl or not?"

"You mean you've liked a girl before? Who??"

SpongeBob looked down to hide his face from blushing. He had a daffy smile on his lips, but Sandy didn't catch on. She was too busy thinking of something much more important to her. "So you mean... Patrick is straight."