Where The Memories Rejoice

by blackandivorykeys

My heart thumped wildly. Whoa boy, calm down there.

"Bella!" I called. Did I sound too desperate? Too wanting? Did she hear me? Discretion had never come easily to me, though lying would soon. If only I could keep things away from her. She caught my beating heart with her delicate, soft hands and her rosy blush done me away.

She had so much power over me. Whipped was an understatement.

I looked at her retreating figure, as she disappeared farther and farther. She didn't hear me. I groaned. I'd have to shout louder for her to hear me. Desperate?

"Bella!" I called again, controlling my volume so she would hear. She turned, a smile playing onto her face. Her lips were pulled up slightly into a cheeky grin.

She's so adorable.

"Jake," her voice chimed, ringing towards my ears despite the soft tone. Her shyness was endearing. She started heading over, and I met her halfway. Who are you kidding? You just want to be closer to her. My mind had no desires to stop messing around with my conscious.

"Hey," I mumbled lamely, breaths breathless.

"Hey you," she mocked.

Scuffing my old sneakers, worn from years of wear, I shoved my hands into the pockets of my worn out jeans. Same old Jake, she would say.

"Up for the movies or something?" I kicked at the dirt. Suddenly, the flat brown of the cold soil was more comforting than the intense chocolate orbs. She paused. Looking up, I saw her white teeth bite hard onto those lips of hers. As her best friend, she was hesitant. Best friend—right Jacob. "If you have something to do, don't worry about me," I continued, hating to break her plans. I could find something to do. I think.

"No, I've just been caught up thinking, I guess." She tried to smile my smile, the one she flashed that was slightly arrogant, yet beautiful.

I mumbled a 'mhmm',doubtful in my head. I kept quiet though.

"So, are you up for it?" I persisted. Way to go, Mr. Pathetic.

"Yeah, why not," she laughed. "Wanna go for a walk on first beach?"

The way she said it made me think of her in different ways. She could've been asking me out, for all I knew. Didn't couples take walks on the beach? I guess we'd always been different—good or bad. By the way I wanted her to be mine, the obsession that would not reside, I would say bad. Oh, how I loved my life.

"We could do something else if you wanted?" I asked. In other words—if she didn't want to see my face—she could just stop hanging around with me. I knew the pity party rules of acting nice to those who were pathetic.

She gave a small smile, and shook her head slightly. "I should be asking you that."

In harmony, two different laughs rang out against the whipping wind, as we smiled at each other. I stared into those chocolate eyes. I hoped to lose all thought. It was a numbing pleasure.

"I'd love to. Let's go," I laughed, before running away from her, keeping a jogging pace so she wouldn't trip over her feet.

"Jacob Black!" she screamed playfully.

"Yes, Isabella?" I taunted. I turned my head back more times than I should have, watching her laugh. The ringing sound filled my ears happily.

"You ass," she laughed, as we continued the same old routine. Nothing had changed between us. Good or bad.

The path home was much longer than I remembered, though I managed to cover it much quicker. My legs had been extended and pulled like that of a voodoo doll lately, with every aspect of me larger. I knew I was running a fever, the clammy feeling spreading and scorching throughout my body, putting out the cold peace.

I growled and sighed into the once-dark air. It was so cold, yet I burned.

Warm.

Warm.

Warm.

My body burned, but it didn't ache in the way that a fever would. It was perpetually heated, and it blazed through the air. A match, a flame, struck the damp weather.

I felt the senses, though I was slowly losing grasp on what was happening. The world seemed to spin, everything around turning into a massive fog, all becoming a blur. The blur engulfed everything in the path. The burning scorched all and then continued its rampaging path, never dulling.

Burning. Hot.

And inside, I was left so cold I was freezing and so confused my mind reeled and everything, everything, had no voracity or verisimilitude. Everything was unknown, nothing certain, and life was hanging on a thread that was unbreakable. Life had left me.

Then suddenly it changed.

So. Cold.

The scorching skin, now of my own, burned wildly as though a fever refused to dim. I listened and I heard. I heard too much—the ringing in my ears from the whispers right outside in front of my house.

How long had it been? I constantly reminded myself.

After being the gentleman I was, blowing off Bella and then breaking up with her, I had ignored her for weeks. It was as though the divorce papers had been signed and after they had been validated, burned.

However, didn't it take two to tango? It did, I told myself. So there was no way that I had 'divorced' Bella, since our feelings were too mangled to be accredited.

Feelings so mangled… so delicately harbored… and so easily destroyed.

We would have gone crashing down regardless of what changed. That's how I looked at it. Perhaps we would have worked any other time, if we were any other people, and if life always worked out with the happy ending and the rolling credits with happy-go-lucky music.

But reality had its own plans, and for us, we weren't going to see each other. I'd be lucky to get one glimpse of her before leaving. I planned to always move. Always stay dynamic, never static.

The bed creaked and groaned as I lay down, tossing and turning. I could never feel myself grow content—it irked me.

Gah. It had been the longest time since peace had arrived. Did melancholy do the same? Perhaps so… it seemed to brace me better than happiness.

Billy was far from helpful. Weren't dads supposed to be helpful in your greatest time of need? Well—if they were—he was the farthest thing from that. He encouraged me to get my butt out of this bed, get my mind out of this little hole, and start living. He encouraged me to make friends with the people I'd never known before.

Of course, I had snapped at him the day after becoming… what I was. And with that rage brought bloodlust.

It took a lot more effort to get me off… it disgusted me…

Thinking about the past did me no good. Suddenly, a spell of nauseating memories flooded my over-abused mind, sending the wheels flying, connecting too many thoughts that did not wish to be connected to make sense—

Knock. Knock.

I sighed, expecting the knocks before they came. My ears had already heard the whisper light footsteps, as they narrowed down the hall, and as they came towards a stop so close to the room. It was to be expected.

"Jake, it's me," dad called in his gruff voice. Who else would it be? It wasn't as though I'd never heard your voice before dad. Just saying…

"What is it Dad?" My voice even sounded different. Different, different, different. Why was everything different? Why couldn't things be happy the way they were before, with me having the time of my content freaking life, and why couldn't things just stay the way they were?

"Bella's here…" he stated. My heart thumped quicker, though it weren't fast enough. I felt more heat burn through my already warm body.

"Are you kidding me? I told her to," I edited in my head, "leave me alone."

"She's here, and I doubt she's leaving. She's been waiting," Billy urged. What are you doing dad? It wouldn't be safe. I sent him telepathic distress signals—though I had no idea why I had not simply used my voice. It wasn't as though I had no voice. It would've made things easier…

But I couldn't speak the words aloud since that would prove them true and what good would that do.

"Jake, it's your choice," he spoke softly, as though he knew me. But he did—dads, all family, did know what went through my mind at all times. They always knew what happened to your inner being.

And now, that very opportunity was present, and how I would've loved to see her beautiful face…

I missed it so much.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled before dragging my lazy ass out of bed.

All for Bella.

"Bella," I started, shocked. I was having one of those out-of-body experiences that rarely happened, yet nonetheless, was happening as the moment passed by. Was I stuck in this experience? It didn't seem to dull. I could think thoughts. Were they my thoughts or the thoughts of a stranger?

"Jacob," she replied. Her smile was dull. What happened to the same vibrant smile she always flashed?

"Couldn't stay away from my sexy abs, could you?" I teased, hoping to lift a smile. My face flashed a quick grin as a small snort escaped her. I smiled, genuine. That's my girl.

"Why, who could resist the power of Jacob Black?"

I chuckled at her silliness—the thought that anyone would be able to resist the power of me quite easily plausible in my head. I felt the transition of time as we traveled into a past that took place in the future.

"Just like old times, Bells," I chuckled.

"Exactly like old times," she smiled. Her pomegranate lips pulled into her delicate smile, her arms crossed on top of each other, wrapped around her waist, and her twinkling brown eyes that had always been there.

Just like old times.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" I heard her ask. Quietly, I heard her footsteps halt. She thought I couldn't hear her… silly.

The night air was quiet inside the forest. I gave a quick thank to the forest's cover, the weakness that she has.

"Absolutely nothing," I muttered. My escape had been blocked.

But I had to thank her.

I doubted I could actually leave… but I would've.

The past few weeks had resorted into falling back into a new equilibrium, much like the ones I had learned so much about despite falling asleep. The new balance had been set—the new dynamics of our old relationship reestablished.

"Because that sounds like nothing, right," she snickered. I had to laugh, she had me there. She always had me everywhere it seemed.

"It really is nothing. Maybe you should get your hearing checked," I chuckled, the palm of my hand ruffling the top of her head. She felt so cold now… despite the fact I burned, she grew colder. Even our body temperature had begun to separate.

The insecurities that hounded at my mind though, they were nothing but that: insecurities.

We were flirting again. That was a definitive. There hadn't been a time where our relationship hadn't been blurred with other possibilities… possibilities so real that they were almost too real to be true. They were too delicate to be touched upon.

"My hearing is fine, thank you very much." She smirked. "I was out late one night. I heard you moaning my name through the walls."

My face flushed red, though I hoped darkness would be my cover. Denial seemed the best way to play. If not, then changing the topic as quickly as time allotted.

"What were you doing out late?" I challenged. "Hmm? Hmm?" I continued, mature as ever. I lifted my right eyebrow despite the fact she wouldn't be able to notice. Her low chuckle rang once into the night.

"Jacob Black, are you avoiding the subject?"

"Are you?"

Without the slightest hesitation, unlike what I had shown, she shook her head. "I was out for a walk. I couldn't sleep." She clucked her tongue once, and shook her head again. I wondered to myself, had I done something wrong?

"Possibly," I smiled, feeling the five year old in me emerge once more. That would make Bella my babysitter… already her years were longer than mine. The stretch only continued to get ridiculously large.

"Jake, what the hell am I going to do with you?" She laughed, and patted my back.

We then walked in harmony without even words telling us where to go—as we always did. As friends. As lovers.

It didn't matter though… together.

The full moon above was slowly escaping from its sheltered clouds as we continued our argument.
"Bella, get away," I started else could I infuse into my voice to get her away from me?

I was dangerous. Slowly slipping. Falling into a place that no one could save anybody from. I felt the animal in me rise, the bloodlust starting to build. Every moment lead her closer to her end. Get away.

"Bella, get the fuck away from me," I growled, barely hearing her small response of 'why'. I was going to break, burst, and start exploding. I was so close to breaking. My breaking point was near, the hunger growing…

I turned. Had she walked any faster, she would've been hot on my heels. I walked away, quickly, wondering what route to take me closest to a place to feed. Where was Sam?

Taking a quick moment of respite, I heard the ominous crunching of leaves, as she fell. Oof, I heard. Quickly, as though instinct brought me, I walked back, still fuming for the apparent reason that escaped my mind. I always had to pick her up. I always did, didn't I?

And then I smelled the blood, luscious, and knew instantly it was dripping.

My footsteps traveled faster and faster until they found the girl, bleeding. I took in a deep breath—an exasperated sigh.

Bella.

And suddenly everything exploded as I changed, lunged, my teeth sinking deep into her soft, creamy, skin, biting easily, the taste of sweet blood filling my mouth…

That was the beginning of the ending of both of us.

A/N -

Big, huge thanks to blackandivorykeys for writing this. I was too lazy. This is a very important thing for this story and the sequel. I know some of you aren't understanding to the things that happen in this story, and I need you to understand Jacob a bit more.

Why? Well, think. Or if you don't want to know, don't think.

Anyways, this was amazing yes?

Thank you so much Michelle. And everyone, next update = last chapter. If you have any questions ask them and I will answer them next time for all to see.