Another chapter for you... enjoy!
CHAPTER 6: Everything I want – Esme's POV
It was dark outside, as I woke up. The hospital was still quiet. There was no sound on the corridor, or better none I wanted to hear. Where was he? He did work the night shift tonight as well, didn't he? He must be. When someone knocked on my door I nearly jumped out of the bed. Every part of my body hoped, longed for Carlisle.
"Come in!" I called. The door opened and Carlisle stepped inside.
"Hello!" he smiled at me while he closed the door behind his back. "Carlisle!" I said happily. He grinned even more. He looked so gorgeous when he smiled.
"How are you? Is the leg okay?" he asked me. I nodded. "Yes. I am fine, I think." I told him. Carlisle took a look at my leg. "No cast?" he frowned.
"No, an old, fat doctor with grey hair said the swelling was still too big…" I said. I could see him raising his eyebrows while he took a seat next to my bed. "An old, fat doctor with grey hair?" he repeated. "You mean Dr Chandler?" I bit my lip. There would probably have been a nicer way to describe the doctor, but I did not like him. That's what I admitted to Carlisle. "I did not like him." I could hear him chuckle. Obviously Carlisle was not mad at me for being rude or something. "Why not? He is a very capable physician." He said but it was not in a scolding way, more teasing and curious.
"He is… he treated me like a child… and his hands… they were too warm…." I blurted out. I could feel my cheeks go red but before I could stop my tongue I had spoke the last fatal words. "He is not you…" Carlisle laughed. I blushed even more but I also decided that hear him laughing was the most beautiful sound I ever heard.
"Well, I am here now." He said with a grin on his face. And you cannot imagine how happy I am that you are! "How was your day? Are you still in pain?" Carlisle asked me. I shook my head. Even if my leg would be throbbing and burning with pain I would easily forget it when I looked into these eyes.
"Er… well, my leg is alright… it doesn't hurt very much… but… I am bored." I could hardly form a sentence when he looked at me like he did. His eyes were beautiful but I thought they were slightly darker. Carlisle chuckled. "Well, perhaps I could help you with that… would you like to read something?" he wanted to know. "Yes!" I said eagerly, then I quickly corrected myself. "I mean, that would be really nice, thank you." Carlisle suddenly looked a little sad. "But I fear the books in my office are perhaps not of your interest. Mostly Shakespeare…" he said as if he was regretting that he had no books I was probably interested in. I could surprise him with that.
"I like Shakespeare…" I said. I really did. The pieces of Shakespeare were beautiful but I had not often a chance to read them. Therefore I often read his sonnets, they were short. I could stop quickly if my parents caught me. To read something like Romeo and Juliet would be difficult because I could not concentrate on the plot with so many interruptions. . "You like….?" Carlisle asked but I interrupted him. "Yes, but I am not allowed to read it… I am hardly allowed to read anything… well, except cookery books…" I told him. I tried to make a joke out of my misery. Carlisle looked at me and smiled weak. Then he put a hand on my arm and goose bumps erupted on my body. But not from the cold. I was already used to it, it was comfortable. "I will get you the books." He said and left the room. I followed him with my eyes.
I watched the door and only moments later he returned. "Why do you have books here in your office?" I asked him suddenly. He smiled and sat down on the chair. Then he handed me the books and replied:
"I spent many nights on call in my study. I am also bored sometimes." "Well, thank you." I whispered. "You should sleep now." Carlisle told me. No! I could not sleep now! I wanted him to stay here.
"But I am not tired. I could have slept the whole day." I complained. Carlisle seemed to think it over. "I could stay a little while, if you want me to…" he finally said. "Really? You would stay?" I asked him. I could not really believe that he wanted to be with me. "Only if you want me to… I mean, I just thought you maybe want some company…" Carlisle stuttered. He had got me wrong. But he looked extremely cute when he was a little unsure.
"Of course I want you to stay!" I almost shouted at him. He smiled. "I just did not think you would have time, or like to stay here…" I told him a little unsure. Carlisle touched my arm again and squeezed it. It felt like heaven. Though his hand was cold and hard it was comfortable.
"I would really like to stay here." He admitted. I could hardly believe it. For some minutes we did not speak a word but it was not an awkward silence. I did not have to speak with him. I felt good just sitting here knowing he was by my side. But I wanted to get to know him. He seemed to be an interesting person.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked after a while. Carlisle smiled and nodded. "Everything you want. Go on." He said immediately. I thought about what I wanted to ask him first. But there was one thing I had wondered about all the time.
"How old are you?" Carlisle did not reply right away. Perhaps he had not meant what he said earlier. "It's just because you look so young but you are a doctor and…" I tried to explain. Carlisle chuckled. "Okay, I understand… I am 28, actually." He admitted. I gasped.
"You look much younger! If you weren't a doctor I would guess 23 or 24…" I said surprised. He smiled. Well, I take that as a compliment, thank you." I felt myself blushing. He was so handsome when he smiled. I wanted to ask him another thing, but I feared I didn't have the courage to do so. I simply could not ask him that!
"Are you married?" I then blurted out very fast. I knew I was being blunt but I was just curious. He must be. Which woman would let him pass?
"No, I am not. Why?" Oh no, this was embarrassing… Why did I have to ask? "I… don't think… I just thought…" Carlisle interrupted me with a smile. "Esme, it is alright. I just wanted to know… I was curious." He said. He chuckled, probably at my still beet red face. "Me too." I said quickly. "I was also just curious." Carlisle chuckled again. "I told you to ask whatever you want, I meant it." He pointed out. "You can ask me everything." I looked at him and tried to find the courage to ask another question. Well, he did not seem to mind my former question…
"You're engaged then?" He shook his head again. "No, I am all on my own." Carlisle replied smirking a little. I shook my head unbelievingly.
"I can hardly believe that…" I murmured under my breath. How could this be true? Carlisle was the most handsome man I had ever seen and he was also polite and a perfect gentleman. The dream of every woman.
"Why?" Carlisle asked suddenly. I felt a blush creep on my cheeks and looked away from his curious gaze.
"Well… you are… so handsome and…." I muttered but did not finish the sentence. He must know that himself. I remained silent and searched for another topic in which I would not make a fool of myself. I stole a glance at him out of the corner of my eye. I thought he looked at me but I was probably wrong. For a moment I simply admired his beautiful face. The pale skin which I imagined to be smooth like silk, his blonde wavy hair and this amazing eyes. A god, an angel. "Where are you from?" I asked him glad to have found an innocent topic. Carlisle smiled and answered immediately.
"I am from England, London. My father was an Anglican priest. He died many years ago." He told me. His eyes focused something far away. He was captured in his memories.
"I'm sorry." I murmured when he talked about his father. This must be very hard for him. He was so young but seemed to have no family at all. Wasn't he lonely?
"It is alright. My father wasn't one of the kindest persons and I never quite agreed with him. I think I was a disappointing son for him…" Carlisle stated. How could he even think that? Carlisle was perfect; clever, gentle, polite…
"But you are a doctor! It's an honourable profession. Wasn't he proud?" I countered him. His father must have been proud to have such a son. Every man would be.
"I never was like my father. He had a different sight of things and he did not know I became a doctor." Carlisle said lowly. I understood how he probably felt. I nodded silently.
"I understand. My parents also sometimes see things differently than I do…" I whispered. Our families seemed similar on that matter. I though about my parents who never noticed what I really wanted. Carlisle took my hand in his again and squeezed it lightly. The touch was comforting. I quickly thought of more pleasant things like his skin on my own.
"Did you always want to become a doctor?" I asked my then. Carlisle smiled at me and answered. "I wanted to help the people. There was a turning point in my life and afterwards I struggled a bit until I found out what I wanted." I wondered what this turning point had been. I could not imagine him to struggle with his life. He was just calm and collected, sure of himself. I thought he could never make a wrong decision.
"What happened?" I wanted to know and hoped this was not too forward of me. Carlisle sighed lowly. After a few seconds he finally answered my question.
"I… had an accident…" He whispered. I decided not to stress this topic anymore. It made him sad. Carlisle obviously thought the same because he changed the topic himself.
"So, Esme, may I ask you something now?" I smiled at him and nodded. He could ask everything he wanted to.
"Of course, just ask." I answered him and made Carlisle laugh. It sounded so beautiful! "What do you want to do with your life?" This was a bit of a touchy question. I really liked Carlisle and I also trusted him but should I really tell him what I wanted? It was nothing a man would expect. Even he would not be that open-minded.
"My parents want me to marry…" I said quietly. "I did not ask what your parents want from you…" Carlisle said lowly and looked at me. I was completely stunned. He wanted to know what I would like to do? No, he cannot be that perfect.
"I, I always wanted to… become a teacher." I whispered very hesitantly and waited anxiously for his reaction. He smiled eagerly. "Which subjects? What would you like to teach?" he asked with curiosity in his eyes. I blushed. I was not used to getting so much attention and honest interest in my likes and dislikes. "Art or history of art, but I also like literature very much." I told him. I was less shy than before and also guessed that this might interest him. He seemed like a very cultivated person. I could easily imagine him visiting a gallery or going to the Opera. It just fit him.
"Art? That is very interesting. Do you draw?" Carlisle asked on. "Sometimes, I have not much time… my mother always keeps me busy… she wants me to learn all the things a lady should know." I tried to hide my sadness but wasn't successful with it.
"To me you seem to be just perfect the way you are." Carlisle said honestly his eyes locked on mine. I swallowed and as I felt a furious blush creeping up my cheeks quickly looked away while mumbling a "thank you."
"What for? I only spoke the truth." He said lightly and my cheeks burned even more. Some rushing and calling outside in the corridor rescued me from the situation. Carlisle was obviously needed.
"It seems I have work to do." He almost sighed. I only nodded. Then he got up from the chair and made his way to the door. Just before he left I called after him.
"Carlisle? Will you come here afterwards again?" It was the most stupid thing to ask but I couldn't help it. He smiled anyway and nodded. "I will." He promised before he left. I sank back in my pillows and closed my eyes. Had this just happened? Or have I dreamed it all? I smiled and let the last minutes pass trough my head again. I yawned and when Carlisle did not return after a few minutes I sighed and cuddled up in the pillow.
Something cold touched my cheek and I leaned into it. The coldness reminded me of Carlisle. I sighed and snuggled closer into my pillow.
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