Here I am again, and I'm really sorry, it took me so long to update... I was busy with university, sorry... but now I have holidays and try to be faster with the next chapters.. as a kind of apology you get two chaps today! Have fun!
CHAPTER 7: A special memory to keep – Carlisle's POV
To spend the day at home was close to torture. I could hardly find distraction. My thoughts often drifted away to the hospital and a certain patient lying there. I missed her. I hardly talked to anyone and had no social contacts. Even at the hospital I only talked about medical subjects and the patients. I had never opened up to a person like I had with Esme. I could not explain why I did it, but something about her made me want to tell her everything. I sat down in my office, the curtains closed over the window though it was an overcast day. I had a book in my lap and tried to read. After a few minutes I sighed and put the book aside. I could not read now. My mind just wouldn't concentrate on the letters. This has to end! It will end! Esme is going home and you will never see her again! I told myself. In two days Esme would be gone. Her leg would be cast today and then I won't see her ever again. I would go to Chicago. This was my last week at the hospital. I would go away but my memory wouldn't let me forget. I was not sure if this was a blessing or a curse.
I spent the daylight hours pacing through my little house, watching the time passing. I could swear the clock moved slower than usual.
Finally the sun started to set in the west. I was out of the door after the last ray of sunlight had just disappeared. I walked to the hospital, trying to rein my enthusiasm in and not to run. As I entered the building my still heart felt like it might start beating again. I was eager to see Esme. I was eager for my shift tonight. When I rounded the corner to the nurses station I saw how the nurse who worked with me tonight stared at me with a quickened heartbeat.
"Good evening." I greeted politely.
"Hello Dr Cullen!" the nurse greeted. "eh, Mrs Snow just showed to excuse her husband. Dr Snow is ill, would it be possible for you to work the double shift?" the nurse asked me. I stopped and tried to hide the smile that was about to spread over my face.
"I, yes, I think so. No problem." I told her in a neutral tone. The nurse nodded and turned back to her papers. I went on down to my office. Inside I shrugged out of my coat and put my lab coat on. Then I decided to start with a quick check-up on the patients. There was nothing serious to be looked after. Two people who stayed overnight to check on them, one probably had a concussion the other one might develop appendicitis. I made sure they were okay before I finally arrived at the door to Esmes room. I swallowed and knocked lightly. Hoping she was awake.
"Come in!" It sounded almost as eager as I felt. I smiled and opened the door. "Hello Esme." I said. She was wide awake, smiling at me with these beautiful brown eyes sparkling.
"Carlisle! Hello!" she answered. I chuckled. "How are you? How was your day?" I asked her. I could see that her leg was in a cast now, which meant she would be able to leave soon. I didn't know why this thought made me sad. It is good for her. She will be just fine and grow up to be a beautiful, stunning woman. I imagined her in a classroom with children around, listening to her voice and scribbling down their first letters. She would be a wonderful teacher. Loving, compassionate, patient and endearing.
"Well, I am going home tomorrow…" Esmes answer ended my dreaming abruptly. For some strange reason she sounded a bit sad. I smiled.
"That's good news. I am sure your leg will heal properly and in a few weeks you can climb trees again…" I winked at her. Esme smiled a little.
"Well, what did you do all day?" I asked her again. "Dr Chandler cast my leg in the morning and then I had to wait until the cast was dry. I did not even have something to read because they let me wait in one of the examination rooms." She explained.
"Why do you work the night shifts?" Esme asked me out of the blue. I sighed. "Well, someone has to work at night…" I explained. Esme nodded.
"Yeah, but I don't like Dr Chandler… he is just so… I don't know… he was not gentle and caring when he put my leg in a cast…" I sat up and looked at her.
"Did he hurt you…" I quickly corrected myself. "Does your leg hurt?" Esme shook her head.
"No, don't worry. I am alright I just wished I had you to talk…" she mumbled. Carlisle grinned. "What did you do all day? It was so nice outside…" Esme said with longing in her voice.
"I slept." I lied automatically. "And then I read a little." "You were not outside? It was so nice, even though it was cloudy." Esme told me. I could hear how much she wanted to go outside, how she hated to be stuck in the hospital, unable to leave the bed. Suddenly a really crazy thought came to my mind.
"Would you like to go outside?" I asked her. Esme stared at me. Her eyes were curious but they also sparkled with some kind of vivid eagerness. "Well, I know it's not the same, but perhaps you want to go out into the park with me… Just for a quick stroll…" I felt silly suggesting it. I mean, it was in the middle of the night. But Esmes eyes twinkled happily.
"Really? Could we go out? I mean…" she sounded glad. I smiled. This might be silly and it was something I had never done before, but what did I have to lose? I would be gone in a few days and I was a doctor. I could do this.
"I am a doctor… I could take you out for some minutes… if you want…" Esme beamed at me. "Really? That would be great! It is such a beautiful night!" She said. I nodded.
"Alright. I will get a wheelchair then and you should put some warmer clothes on…" I said and went for the door, but Esme stopped me.
"Carlisle?" I turned around. "Yes?" Esme bit her lip shyly and would not meet my gaze. "Would you… give me some clothes from the cupboard?" she mumbled. I froze. Of course! She cannot go out in this thin nightgown! I nodded silently.
"eh… yes." I murmured. "Of course." Esme looked at me. I turned to the cupboard and took a skirt and a woollen sweater for Esme. I really had no idea about women's clothing and I rather stayed that way. I felt really awkward shuffling through her clothes. I laid it next to her on the bed. "Thank you." Said Esme lowly. "Shall I send a nurse to help you?" I asked her. Esme shook her head.
"No, thank you. It is alright." I smiled. "Okay, I will go and get a wheelchair." I left the room and headed for my office at first. I changed my lab coat for my coat because it was a cool night and it would look suspicious if I was not bothered by the cool night air. Afterwards I took a wheelchair and went down the hall. By the nurse-station I stopped quickly.
"Dr Cullen, what is wrong?" the nurse asked me puzzled. I smiled. "Oh, it is nothing. Just young Ms Platt who cannot sleep and I offered to take her outside for a moment. I am sure she just needs some fresh air." I explained smiling. The nurse gave me a strange look.
"You could also give her some morphine to calm her down…" she murmured. I nodded. "I know, but she is only 16 and I think a quick stroll through the park will also do the trick. I don't like to give her morphine if I can help it." I said as polite as possible while I was shocked by the behaviour of the nurse. I won't put any of my patients to sleep while I could do otherwise. I cared for my patients. "Well, if you think so…" The nurse mumbled. I nodded and continued walking down the hall. In front of Esmes room I stopped and knocked.
"Come in!" she replied. I opened the door and found Esme sitting on the bed. She looked eager. I pushed the wheelchair to her bed and approached her. "Well, you are ready?" I asked her. Esme nodded. "I am." "Good, may I?" I gestured towards the wheelchair. Esme smiled. "Yes, of course." I scooped Esme up in my arms and gently sat her down in the wheelchair. She beamed at me. I wheeled her out of the room and down the corridor.
The night was cool, but not cold. A gentle breeze whistled in the trees. I pushed the wheelchair towards the little park. Esme turned her head to me.
"Thank you, Carlisle." She said. I smiled. "My pleasure, Esme." I replied. It was true I enjoyed this probably as much as she did. Under a large oak tree I stopped and sat down on the bench. "Well, I am sorry, you cannot climb up the tree but I think this is also alright…" I winked at Esme and she chuckled. "This is perfect. Thank you." She whispered. Esme looked around the park and smiled. I heard something rustle on the ground and looked towards the bushes. Just a second after I saw it, Esme grabbed my sleeve.
"Hey look, a squirrel!" she said. I smiled. The little creature hopped over the ground sniffing and listening carefully. Finally it spotted an acorn, took it and climbed up a nearby tree again. "It is so cute." Esme said lowly. "Yes it is." I agreed. We sat there in silence. Esme was calm and relaxed. After a few minutes I realized that she was cold. I took my coat off and placed it over her shoulder. "Thank you." She said. "But, aren't you cold?" I chuckled and shook my head. "No, I am not. Don't worry." I smiled at her and Esme snuggled into my coat.
"I read Romeo and Juliet today." Esme said after a while. I looked into her eyes. "You read it? You finished?" I asked surprised. "Yes, I started it before I fell… I told you…" she said slowly. "Well, yes you did, but you didn't come far, I thought…" Esme nodded.
"I did not, but it was so great and I read it through when I was back in my room, after the cast was dry." I was simply astonished by her. She has read one of Shakespeare's masterpieces in a couple of hours.
"I never met someone like you…" I muttered lowly, but somehow, Esme caught my words. "What do you mean?" she asked. I smiled.
"It's just, you always surprise me. Girls your age are normally giggling, whispering over boys or dressing themselves up like dolls." Esme blushed slightly. "You are really unique, Esme." I said and earned a tiny smile from her.
"And you are flattering." She mumbled. I probably shouldn't hear this, but my sensitive ears caught the words of course. I quickly disguised my chuckle as a cough. She shot me a worried look.
"I told you, you will get cold!" she said and wanted to hand me my jacket back. I objected. "No. It is alright, really. What about we just continue our little walk?" I asked her. She nodded.
"Well, walk at least for you… I am just sitting here, being wheeled around." I heard the disgust in her voice and it made me sad. "You will be alright soon. In a few weeks the cast will be taken off and you can do everything you like again – even climbing trees." I joked. She smiled at me. "Yes." she agreed. I wheeled her through the park and we chatted a bit over various topics. Finally, I caught Esme hiding a yawn.
"You are tired. I will take you back inside." I said. She turned in the chair and looked at me. "No, I am not tired. Reawwy." She yawned again and I chuckled. "Of course. Come on. You need sleep, your leg will heal faster, if you sleep properly." I told her. We entered the hospital again and I brought Esme back into her room, ignoring the stare of the nurse. But Esme noticed it.
"I hope you didn't get yourself into trouble." She said. "No, why?" I asked. "Well, this nurse didn't seem pleased." She explained. I laughed lightly. "No, but I will survive it. She is probably just upset to work the night shift." I reassured her. Esme nodded. I helped her out of the wheelchair and sat her onto the bed. Then I left for Esme to get out of her clothes. I passed the reception and the nurse stared at me.
"It is really amazing how you care for your patients, Dr Cullen… even letting them wear your coat." Her voice was piercing. I stared at her and then realized that Esme had been wearing my jacket when we entered the hospital. If I could have I would have gone even paler. I had forgotten about how it looked like to others. Within seconds I regained my composure.
"Well, I was just being a gentleman. The young lady was cold and we wouldn't want to keep her here longer than necessary." I lied. The nurse smirked. "Wouldn't we?" she murmured to herself and then looked back down onto her book. I cursed inwardly. How could I have been so stupid? Going on a moonlight walk with a young woman, letting her wear my coat… I could have gotten her into trouble. But, no one would know about it. Esme would be released in the morning and the nurse would go home to sleep. No one would learn about this. I really hoped, at least.
After a few minutes I returned to Esme's room. I wanted to check on her again and I needed my jacket back. I found Esme still awake, though barely. "I began to think you wouldn't come again." She whispered. I smiled.
"Of course I do. I just got delayed." I answered. She had my jacket in her hands. "Well, I think you want this back…" she murmured. Keep it, if you want to. My mind screamed at me. But I could not say something along these lines.
"Yes, thank you." I took the coat from her and smiled. Esme smiled back. "Good night, Esme. " I said. She nodded. "Thank you. What will you do for the rest of the night?" she asked me. "Well, I actually will rest a little bit, too. I was asked to work the morning shift tomorrow. A colleague is ill." I explained.
"Oh, then sleep well, I think. I hope you can get rest. It must be hard to work so long without sleeping properly." She said, her voice full of compassion. I felt strange to have her care for me so much. I was not used to feelings like that.
"eh, well, it is alright… I will be able to release you tomorrow and do the final examination and that's a quite pleasant thought." I tried to lighten the mood with a little joke. Esme blushed at my words and smiled shyly. I winked at her and left the room to finally let her go to sleep.
In my office I lay down on the little couch and closed my eyes. I had my coat folded under my head as a pillow. Esmes sweet scent was clinging to it and I breathed deep and regular. One part of me was screaming how sick that was. I was attached to a girl! I craved for her. Her blood pulled me as strong as nothing else before. But her whole personality did too. I should feel bad inhaling her scent like some perverse guy but I couldn't. I wasn't doing anything. I would let her go in the morning and then move to Chicago. Nothing wrong at all… Except that the thought of leaving her made my still heart ache…
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PS: there's one more chap... check it out!