Okay, here's the first of the two last chapters of this story... but there's a nice and really long epilogue coming soon... I hope you enjoy these last chapters! Have fun!
CHAPTER 11: Missing – Carlisle's POV
I stood in the hallway long after Esme was gone. I was totally confused and went in my office to clear my head, but it didn't work. My soul already yearned for her. I felt lonelier than I had ever felt in the almost 250 years of my existence. I paced up and down for about an hour before I came to the conclusion that I couldn't stay here. I needed to go, now. I left my office and went to the front desk. "Dr Cullen, how can I help you?" the nurse asked. "Actually, I was wondering if I might go home… I know I am replacing Dr Snow, but I have a terrible headache and nothing is working… I already took some pills…" The nurse smiled sympathetically. "I think it is possible… I will make a few calls and let you know…" she said. I nodded. "Thank you. I'm doing a check up on the patients in the meanwhile…" I needed to take my mind off of Esme, distract me somehow… even if it would most likely not work.
I had just finished my rounds on the patients when I was called to the front desk. "Ah, Dr Cullen, Dr Miller just arrived, you can go home now." The nurse told me smiling. I shot her a grateful smile and hurried towards my office. There I packed my last belongings and left after a few minutes. This would have been my last day here anyway. The nurses said their goodbyes to me and wished me good luck and then I was gone.
When I arrived in my little house I quickly realised that I couldn't stay there either. I needed to get far away from here and that quickly. Too many memories were running through my head right now. I could not stay here if I wanted to keep my sanity. While I knew that there had been no chance of having Esme for myself a selfish part of me still told me that I shouldn't have let her go. This part of me wanted terribly to be with her, no matter what. I had never known such feelings and was utterly confused by them. I got even more confused when I thought of what desires overwhelmed me in these last minutes in the exam room…
My original plans were that I would stay here until all my stuff, which wasn't much, was brought to my new house in Chicago but now I tumbled them over. I would leave today. As soon as possible. My most precious possessions, like my paintings, the cross of my father and my most favourite books had I already brought to Chicago myself. The remaining things could be sent after me.
I put everything in boxes and stacked them in the hallway. It only were three cartons, two containing books, one the clothes I hadn't yet brought to my new house. After that was finished and the house empty except for the furniture I changed into more comfortable clothes, black pants, a white shirt and a dark pullover over it. Then I took my coat, wound a scarf around my neck and left.
I was running through the woods towards Chicago, carefully avoiding civilisation. I didn't take a direct route. I needed to run, to clear my head and distract myself. I wasn't hunting yet. I was only running; running, running, running. Trying to get a grip on my feelings again. I was still so confused and only a step away from running back to Columbus.
I spent the whole night running through the woods. I hunted until my eyes the lightest shade of gold, but I was still not satisfied. It was not the blood I craved. I craved company. I craved Esme. Her loving nature, her honesty, her closeness, the way she made me laugh, her laugh…
I sank down on the forest floor and leaned my back against a tree. I felt lonelier than ever before. My still heart was aching.
I stood up again, shaking my head. What was wrong with me? I used to be calm, collected and sensible! I was none of this anymore. I was confused, torn and terribly lonely. I took a shaky breath. I needed to get a grip on myself. If I was continuing with this torment I would go crazy. I forced myself to stop mourning, after all I did the right thing. Esme would grow up to be a beautiful, pretty lady and find a loving man who cared for her. They would marry and have kids and lead a happy life.