Tord lay awake in Matt's bed, staring at his boyfriend hanging upside-down from the ceiling like a bat deep in thought. It was two in the morning, and Matt was fast asleep. Unlike Tord, however, he hadn't been able to sleep in months. He was falling deeper and deeper into depression by the day, and his only means of escaping was through alcohol. He was enraged by his decision to become an alcoholic, as it reminded him of his father throughout his childhood. Pat was an abusive alcoholic for half of his life before abruptly changing his ways when he realized the impact it was having on his children.

Tord wished he could simply stop. He hated his life; he hated what he turned it into. He was losing himself.

He loved Matt so much; he knew this. Though he couldn't feel the love that used to warm his chest whenever he saw him anymore. He couldn't feel that towards Tom either. His looming darkness of depression stripped away any feelings he had. It was miserable; Tord was miserable.

Oftentimes, Tord would cry while thinking these things, but this time he hadn't. He had a plan that he was going to stick to that week.

A plan that was going to tear the house apart.

The next morning, Tord and Edd sat at the table eating their breakfast. Edd was eating a bowl of the newest cereal, Bacon Cereal. Tord was just nibbling at a single piece of bacon. "What's wrong with you? You'd usually be tearing that apart." Edd noticed that Tord hadn't been eating right for a while. "Nothing. I'm not hungry." "You haven't been hungry for the past month. Eat something, dickhead." Edd began to get up from the table, muttering, "I'll make you something better than that." Tord shook his head and left the nibbled-on piece of bacon on the table as he stood up. "I don't need it. Don't waste your time."

Edd stared at him as he exited the kitchen, passing Tom on his way in. "Do you know what's going on with Tord?" Edd began, glancing at Tom as he approached the coffee maker. "Nope, he doesn't even talk to me anymore," Tom replied, his face expressionless. "You should probably ask Matt."

Edd nodded and he sat back down at his now soggy bowl of cereal. Tom eventually sat as well and the two ate their breakfast in silence.

Tord was walking back to his room when he noticed Matt getting ready to enter the shower. Matt took one look at Tord and knew he needed to join him. "You look terrible," Matt began, clearly intending to try and convince Tord to take a shower. "I feel terrible." "Well, showering always makes me feel better," Matt began softly before Tord cut him off. "I'm not going to join you."

"I know."

"Then why ask?"

"I don't know." Matt admitted, "I'm just worried about you. The whole house is, in fact. You've been acting strange." "I'm not acting strange." Tord was lying; he was fully aware of his behavior change, he just didn't want to admit it.

"Yes, you are acting strange," Matt said sternly, which worried Tord. "You don't eat, you don't sleep, you barely talk, and you don't do anything you used to like. I haven't seen you draw, or work on that fursuit, or even play your guitar or drums in months." "I just haven't gotten around to it." Tord lied again. He didn't know why he was lying; Matt already knew. "You're right, you haven't gotten around to it, because you're too busy at the bar, or out smoking, or laying in bed. It's like you're like a zombeh again." Matt stared at Tord, who had no reaction. It's like everything Matt said to him went in one ear and out the other.

Matt sighed. "You're turning into your father."

Tord gasped. He knew he was, but it was the first time he had heard it from someone else. "You know, Tord, I'm scared for the day when you'll turn out exactly like your father. I'm scared of what could begin to happen to us. I hate being scared of you, but it's not unheard of for the abused to become the abuser." Matt sighed. "Please let me help you. I don't want you to turn out like that."

"I won't turn out like that. I never would." Tord tried to defend himself, but in the back of his mind he was worrying that Matt was right—that he was going to turn out like his father. Though Tord didn't have much time left anyways, it's not like he has time to turn into the monster his father used to be.

"So can I help ensure that you won't?" Matt begged. "No, I don't need anyone to help assure that. I promised my family I wouldn't." Tord gathered himself before finishing, "You're my family too, Matt. This whole house is. I made that promise to all of you." Matt nodded, then went into the bathroom and began running the water before muttering, "You better keep that promise."

Tord began to tear up as he walked back to his room. He felt as if what Matt said was right.

Tord opened the door to his room, the light from the hallway illuminating the dark and pitiful livingspace. It was barely liveable, actually, with trash piling on the floor and rotting food molding and stinking up the room. Tord didn't care. He couldn't find the energy or motivation to clean anything.

Despite constantly being so tired, Tord could barely sleep. He would sometimes take naps during the day, but at night he could barely close his eyes. He would mostly drink until he blacked out drunk, which was what he was going to do.

Tord rummaged through the empty beer and vodka bottles and cans cluttering his nightstand for his keys.

He heard the shower shut off.

Tord began to search more quickly. He didn't want Matt to know where he was going. He recognized the pattern of Matt's steps inside the bathroom and knew he was about to come out, until finally he found his keys. He threw his boots on and hurried out of the living room before Matt exited the bathroom. Edd and Tom were sitting on the couch, watching whatever was on.

Tom noticed the hurry Tord was in and spoke up. "Where are you headed?" "Bar," Tord replied simply, as he was pulling on his black overcoat. "With who?" Tom asked. "Is Matt in the car?" "I'm going by myself," Tord growled back, heading outside and slamming the door behind him, leaving Edd and Tom shocked.

Tord's footsteps crunched through the freshly fallen snow on his short journey to his car. The snowstorms had been getting more frequent, which Tord liked. He had always been fond of snow; it was one of the only things that still brought a slight smile to his face during this low point of his life. However, he didn't pay much mind to it as he hopped into his car and started the engine, driving the short way to the bar.

Inside, on the other hand, Matt had just exited the bathroom, his hair flat and wet. He knocked on Tord's door. "Tord? Can I talk to you?" Matt waited for a response but got no answer. "Tord?" He repeated, worry seeping out of his voice. Still, no response. Matt opened Tord's door, and instantly got hit with the repulsive smell. Matt immediately jumped to the conclusion that Tord was dead, and began frantically searching for any sign of his body, until he realized the smell was coming from the decomposing food littering his room.

Realizing he wouldn't find Tord in there, he raced into the living room and from out the window, he saw Tord's car pulling out of the driveway, heading in the direction of the nearby bar.

Matt covered his mouth. Had he said the wrong thing? Was he going to be the reason Tord doesn't come home until late at night, in danger of killing himself through a drunken car accident? Matt rushed back into his room, leaving Edd and Tom on the couch having to piece together what happened.

When Matt reached his room, he went for his phone, and dialed a familiar number. He waited patiently for the other side to pick up. The silence was rhythmically broken with the ringing of the phone, until it was abruptly broken with the sound of the other side picking up.

"Hello? Matt?"

i apologize for any mistakes i could have overlooked, and for weak writing in the beginning. it gets better i promise