Emmett POV
At least Carlisle had let me out of the house to go to school. Vampire house arrest. Grrr. And the no-sex-for-three-weeks bit SUCKED. Rosalie and I were likely to knock the house down when we were reunited. Ah well. It's not like I didn't warn Esme.
I hadn't even done anything wrong! I had eaten half a stinking bag of human cookies when it was Edward's turn for a dare. It was more Jasper than me that suggested that we change it to truth instead. When he wouldn't answer the questions truthfully, it was only fair that we sent Rosalie and Jasper to raid his bedroom.
I didn't tell them that it was me who had hidden that porn movie inside his Mozart's Piano Concerto CD. I may have also forgotten to mention that it was me who edited the pictures of him and Bella on his laptop with that dirty software that Felix sent me a few years ago. Note to Em: must email Carlisle some of those pictures from Edward's email address.
While Alice was upstairs, trying clothes on Bella, I was threatening to set Edward on fire and chain him to his piano when Jasper sent lust at Rosalie. She jumped on top of me, sent my burning stick flying across the room and very unfortunately, it landed on Esme's antique table. I honestly didn't mean to burn down the entire dining room! Jasper and Edward had put out most of the house before the fire reached Carlisle's study and Jasper kept on sending lust at me so eventually Rose and I ended up almost having sex in front of Bella when she came downstairs. It was hilarious when Edward ran in and shoved his hand over her eyes. Damn Jasper and his stupid powers. Edward and Alice started shouting at me and I told them that Carlisle had already watched the Great Fire of London back when he was a newborn so this slight damage shouldn't bother him much. Esme however, was a different story.
And I was the only one who even got shouted at! Jasper just sent pity waves at Esme and Carlisle so they let him off the hook. Edward, perfect, perfect Edward with his stupid human girlfriend just got an APOLOGY(!) and I had to clear up all of the mess ON MY OWN! Meanwhile Edward was watching Bella sleep (fun...), Jasper and Alice really were having fun and Rosalie kept smacking my butt while I was trying to concentrate on the cleaning. Talk about distractions!
Alice didn't even get into trouble for the condom thing! She said that I had tricked her into it! How do you trick a psychic into anything?! At least we had sex education again. I needed something to cheer me up.
Mr Banner walked into the room with a box underneath his arm. I peered more closely at it. The box was full of leaflets about how to use condoms. I groaned silently. Then I turned around. Edward and Bella were sitting behind Rose and me.
"Hey Ed, Mr Banner's got some leaflets for you and Bella!"
Surely I could liven the lesson up somehow...
Author's Note:
Yes, the sex education lesson from chapter four will be continued. Most likely in the next chapter. I've had so many great reviews from you guys! I love you! Please keep them coming! A bag of Emmett's cookie's to every reviewer! (And he may have drooled on some of them...) :)
Anyway, the next chapter will be up soon. If you have any ideas that you'd like to be included, send them and I will give credit. In the meantime, read justanotherobsessivefan's "How To Annoy The Cullens". It is hilarious! XXX Love to all my reviewers!
El Leon Y La Oveja
PS. Short chapter, I know but the next one will be up soon! And that was one and a half chapters in one night if you want to count this one as a half. It's Emmett's hangover memories of the night before (except he doesn't get hangovers) so I did a little epilogue for the night's events.
Gotta get some sleep now!
:)