A soft breeze kissed the tapestries and swaths of light fabric, their colors dancing as the crowd began to pour onto the terrace. Little by little, more figures, some more somber than others, found their place amid the crowd. Hushed conversations passed from one set of lips to another, giving rumors a lifeline just when they were beginning to die out.
Karina smoothed an invisible wrinkle in her skirt as she watched from the edges, her back to the Harbor. The comb tucked into her hair wasn't quite positioned right and the curve of the teeth dug into the back of her head. At least she would know if it went missing. She could deal with a little discomfort for the sake of appearances.
Over the past few weeks, she'd felt little more than a swelling ache, as if she'd thrust her own hand into her chest and ripped her heart out. Once again, nothing but a pawn. A tiny piece to placate and keep busy with one hand while the other worked machinations with parties far as out sight. With some of the most underhanded and conniving individuals in all of the Seven Nations.
Familiar but discomforting, still painful, nevertheless.
Work was a whirlwind, between preparations for the Rite of Parting and the rumors swirling about inflation and the cost of goods. Rumors of no more mora being minted were as vicious and as quick as rats; not because of a new law but because the means to do so was no longer in place with Rex Lapis gone.
All of this only reinforced the idea that she'd let herself get too comfortable, ease into a life that wasn't meant for her. And it wasn't. Not yet, at any rate. The words she poured into that letter were nothing but accurate. She deserved more. Maybe she didn't matter as much to the powers that be or was even disgraced by their standards.
Her worth wasn't determined by them. Only she deemed what she was worth, on her terms.
Handsome and kind and understanding though he was, Zhongli still didn't see her as an equal to be truthful with.
And therein laid her problem.
Why had she even bothered to come? It wasn't as if Rex Lapis, or Yanwang Dijun as she heard he was also called by those in Liyue, was her Archon. As if she worshipped any Archon at all or considered them to be as powerful, influential, or all that prominent in the every-day lives of the average mortal.
But she still dressed for the event, made her way to the terrace, and stood among the other citizens.
Closure, perhaps, Karina considered. She needed it, deserved it. This might be as close to it as she ever came.
She tried to ignore the presence beside her, tall, sturdy, and somber. A perfect balance of respect and familiarity floated between them that she could just see his shoes out of her peripheral vision.
When the proceedings were finished and the Traveler was thanked for her role, Karina was once again captivated by the floating swaths of fabric. Part of her didn't want to leave but the rest of her didn't know what to say.
"Jun Lei outdid herself, I must admit" Zhongli remarked. "The fabric is so fine it slips right between one's fingers."
"I'll pass the compliments to her," Karina replied. "It wasn't easy to source that much fabric on short notice, let alone silk that beautiful."
"If I may speak, while I have you?"
His voice was soft and warm, as it was on their last night up here. She scanned the crowd and found a familiar figure in the crowd, one who would probably want a word with Zhongli eventually as much as Karina did not. The Traveler carefully made her way through the crowd, Paimon bobbing in and out to scout ahead. Whatever words the tailor managed to get out, she preferred if the outlander didn't overhear them.
"The feelings I hold for you are one of the reasons I decided to step down. I thought my logic was sound at the time. Rex Lapis was no more than a figurehead, a sign of times gone by. A reminder of all the great and terrible things committed under the guise of protecting those we love, that brutality gave way to peace and prosperity."
Her heart squeezed at the notions left unsaid: a reminder of those we lost along the way.
"It has been a question on my mind for some time: when will my work be done? My work as an Archon, bloody and brutal, has been over for some time. Whereas my work to preserve and share the memories of others long forgotten has only just begun. That includes understanding what my role as Archon has played in particular events over the past millennia. I could not do the latter or even live a mortal life, perhaps with you, while still serving the people of Liyue as Rex Lapis."
Karina squared her shoulders and looked at him for the first time that morning, his expression somber. "Nations don't recover from this kind of thing overnight. Fontaine never recovered. Rumors about inflation and no mora being minted are circling like hawks. You could cause a world-wide economic crisis and I'm supposed to be okay with the notion that I'm one of the reasons the Geo Archon retired."
I can barely stomach guilt as it is…
"No, I would not expect you to. But you deserved to know at least that I did take you into consideration. Just not as far as I should have."
Karina nodded, her mind numb as she glanced across the terrace again, her body still turned towards the retired Archon. It was better than the ache that grew in her chest and bloomed at the least opportune times. At least then she didn't have to hide anything.
She felt warm fingers find her hand, slow and precarious. A thumb brushed her knuckles and the back of her hand, the hold almost tenuous, as if expecting her to pull away at any time. She should. She knew she should.
The Traveler grew closer and Paimon (or she heard the flying creature was called) waved her arm in a wide arc over her head. Karina's jaw tightened, her window of time all but gone.
"I need to–"
The hand holding hers squeezed. "As I said, I do not expect forgiveness; I know I cannot take back what I have done or how those actions have made you feel. But if you deem me worthy of it, I hope that, when the dust settles, you will allow me to try properly."
"I'm not a puzzle for you to solve nor a vase to fix," Karina said. "I'm my own person."
"I know. Whether or not I have my gnosis does not change how I feel about you. I am still the same person now as I was when we first met, as I have been since you came to know the truth. I will do everything in my power to help you find the answers you seek, if nothing else. And should you wish to never speak of this again, speak to me again, you need only say so."
For a moment, it felt as if the rest of the terrace fell away; as she gazed at him again, properly, all she could see was earnest sweetness and pain, his usual stoicism lost for a moment. She always saw the age in his eyes, and it only grew more obvious once she knew who he really was. But the figure in front of her was a man (not an Archon, she reminded herself) who only understood that he failed the one he cared for and wanted nothing more than…
…than what, she wondered.
A question she didn't know she would ever be able to answer, if she was worthy to do so.
But only she could determine that.
"Morning tea wouldn't be the same without you."
A small step, but a start nonetheless.