Author's Note: Thanks to sprinkledwithtwilight for telling me how much she wanted to hear some more about 'The Cullen Book of Vampire Records' (from my one-shot fic, 'My Brother's Girlfriend') so I've decided to incorporate the records into this story instead. Thanks sprinkledwithtwilight and I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to you for all the reviews, messages and support! xXx Thanks!

Jasper POV

"No, I had a vision that this was going to happen," Alice was explaining to Emmett as we all sat around his hospital bed. Bella had hilariously brought grapes along which Emmett was throwing through the open window and into the hospital room opposite, where they were hitting a puzzled old lady.

"Who wins then?" Emmett asked Alice. "I'm not playing if I lose to your stupid husband."

"Don't tempt me, Em," I warned him. "You know that I could take you if I had to." Emmett shifted himself into a sitting position.

"Bring it bro," he urged me. "I'm not dying too quickly to kick your butt." I snorted.

"Emmett, you're immortal and you're still dying too quickly to kick my butt." Alice high-fived me.

"Nice comeback, Jazzy!" She turned back to Emmett. "Just play. Please."

Rosalie peered behind Alice's back.

"I wanted to have some...alone time with Emmett. Why exactly are you disturbing it, Alice and what for?" I tried to sneak a look at what she was holding behind her but she pushed my head away.

"Sorry Jazzy but I'm blocking my thoughts from Eddie at the moment. I don't want him getting it out of your head." Edward glared at her.

"Is that why you've been imagining Jasper naked all afternoon?" Alice smirked and pinched my butt with her free hand.

"That's not exactly why... and Rosalie to answer your question, this is why we're here tonight."

"I've found it!" Alice told everyone triumphantly. She pulled a huge leather book out. I gasped when I realised what it was. We were definitely going to have fun...or get banned from the hospital for life. "Edward, you're not very good at hiding things, are you?" Edward groaned when he heard what she was planning.

"Alice, I don't think that this is exactly safe with Bella present..." She snorted.

"It's not safe anyway! And besides, if you run home with her, there won't be anyone to keep us under control."

We let Edward consider that thought for a few moments. I knew that he'd stay although he wasn't exactly in the best mood with Em and me at the moment, mainly because we kept on making references to his and Bella's lack of sexual activity. I was going to explode if I had to endure any more of their sexual tension. Eddie had to get some action soon, for everyone's sake.

"What is it, Em? I've got mischief and excitement coming from you..." I tried to work out what he was planning.

"You'll win the first one, Emmett," Alice notified me. "But it's going to be quite close." He grinned at her.

"Thanks, Alice." Emmett loved a bit of healthy competition. Edward was a sucker for winning too. I saw his gleam at the word 'win', quite aside from feeling his sudden need to win at something.

"What is it?" Bella asked. "What's in the book?"

Alice smirked at everyone around the room.

"The Cullen Book of Vampire Records." I announced proudly. Alice, Em and I cheered but Rosalie looked incredulously at us.

"You've gotta be kidding me? I'm missing sex for this?!" Edward glared at her.

"Rose!" he gestured towards Bella. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Rosalie, could you try NOT to think that. I'd rather not have to see your little fantasies." She growled quietly at him.

"Ummm," Bella interrupted. "But what is The Cullen Book of Vampire Records?" I laughed.

"Otherwise known as The Edward and Carlisle Book of Achievement? Surely you've heard about that?" Bella shook her head.

"I'm surprised that Edward hasn't boasted about his vampire records. I suppose that some of the awards in here aren't exactly favourites of Edward and Carlisle." Alice giggled.

"You could say that," she told Bella. "I'm in there quite a few times."

"What for?" Alice smiled proudly.

"Most Dice Rolls Accurately Predicted. In fact, after about three thousand rolls, Emmett was getting bored so we stopped. But I could have beaten that."

"I won Most Human Food Consumed in One Minute!" Emmett exclaimed loudly. "My finest hour!"

"I timed Most Human Food Consumed in One Minute." Rose sulked. "That was disgusting!"

"What are we doing tonight?" I asked. Alice gave me a look.

"You'll be sitting out. Emmett wins the first one." Edward jumped up to enforce the rules.

"You can't predict who's going to win. You actually have to complete the task, Alice." I rolled my eyes.

"But what's the point? I win!" Emmett cried out.

"You still have to do it properly."

Typical Edward, rules, rules, rules. No wonder he and Bella never got anything done.

"Emmett! You've changed your mind!" Alice cried out, accusingly. He shrugged.

"I win that one. And Eddie is only going to make us do it anyway. So I'm changing my mind."

"I have a new idea!" I cried out, as Emmett and Alice tried to come up with a new record. "Emmett, are you in the mood to get your butt kicked?" Emmett snorted.

"No. But I'm in the mood to kick yours." Alice squealed when she saw my choice.

"Jazzy, I LOVE it! And we might even be able to get Carlisle on board if Edward persuades him that it's purely in the interest of medicine."

"I'm not 'persuading' Carlisle anything," Edward insisted. Emmett glared at him.

"Maybe you should take Bella home," I suggested. "This isn't exactly going to be PG-13 rating, is it?"

"Maybe you should save this for another time." Edward snapped.

"What are we doing then?" Emmett asked. I felt the annoyance coming from Edward so I sent a mixture of lust and calm towards him.

"What is this stupid challenge?" Rosalie demanded.

"Most Human Drugs Consumed!" Alice announced proudly!

"What does it involve?" Emmett asked us. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't it pretty self-explanatory?" Emmett scowled.

"I just want to make sure that I win, OK?" I held up a hand.

"Alice?"

"I've drawn up a list of rules," Alice announced, stepping forward. "You must consume human drugs until forced to choke them up." Bella gagged.

"That's like vampire torture! You two do this for fun?" Edward smiled at her.

"My brothers, ladies and gentlemen." Alice waved him away dismissively.

"An added point...some vampires have been known to respond negatively to some drugs. In excessive doses, they can have the same effect that they would have upon humans."

"In other words, I'm about to see Emmett stoned?" Bella asked. Even Edward laughed.

"Gimme the drugs!" Emmett yelled. "I wanna go crazy!"

"Too late for that..." I replied as Emmett jumped up and started dancing around, screaming for pills at the top of his voice.