Authors Note: PLEASE READ! The last chapter, chapter two has been changed slightly, so you could go back and check it out or not. It's not too important. Read On!

Disclaimer: Don't Own

Change is inevitable

"One should expect that the expected can be prevented, but the unexpected should have been expected."

~Norman R. Augustine~

Despite Kevin's reassurances, calling him when I was in need was impossibility. He left no number or address and when he sent letters he didn't ever leave a return address. He visited once a month at least to say hello, and it seemed as if Amanda had told Kevin whatever it was that she hadn't wanted to say around me, and I could feel an undercurrent of tension between them, but what really bothered me was that Kevin was really weird around me. He acted like anytime could be the last time he ever saw me. It was in the small things he did, like kissing me, he always added more pressure than necessary almost as if he had to make sure I was still there, still solid beneath his lips. He was more touchy feely than ever before, like I said reassurance that I was still there with him. He'd revealed that he and Amanda were looking for a group of veggies like us because he believed they could help them. But even his visits weren't enough for me anymore; I always knew what was coming.

And now, six months after his initial departure, Kevin was still nowhere near coming home permanently, and I was dying inside. Emotionally, because we all know I'm already dead. I needed him, and I had no way to call for him. Every one of my teachers had called home now, saying that I was having trouble concentrating on school work that I was being anti-social, as well as a sudden disinterest in the chorus group, and art classes I'd been taking religiously, and then there was the fact that they had all noticed a physical change in me. They were obviously referring to the subdued and darker colored clothing style as well as the piercings I had miraculously managed to push through my lips and eyebrows I'd taken to, but there were also things, my teachers didn't know. Like the fact that I'd stopped calling my best friend Jacob who just happened to be fledgling werewolf our only natural enemy, and the fact that I didn't hunt as much. I just couldn't muster enough interest in my well being as a person to go find food, I knew I needed or for playing my instruments or working on Gin what I'd named my car.

It was early morning and I once again hadn't hunted in weeks, since before Kev had visited last week. My usually turquoise eyes were a black so complete it would have made any head spin. I definitely had to hunt, my strength and speed were definitely lagging, and it showed as I made my way slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen, to sit on a stool at the island beside Jackson. Usually I would be sitting across from Kev and we'd do our secret pinky shake, yes we were that close, but obviously not anymore. Dad leaned over and kissed my forehead, reminding me of Kevin, and of my family, which just put me in a bluer mood.

"Hello baby. You look a little strained." That was his way of telling me to go hunting

"I know. I'm going hunting now." I said as mom hugged me.

"Not without a jacket, you aren't, young lady" I looked down at what I was wearing a dark blue lacy tank top I'd bought at the mall the day Kev left, and a pair of dark jean short shorts. It didn't matter I couldn't feel cold.

"But mom you know it doesn't even matter" I whined softly. Not having much energy to put into arguing and that seemed to sadden Jackson's countenance because I usually argued everything.

"Oh I know, but I still want you to wear one." She said gently knowing my head was hurting badly from lack of nutrition. I looked toward dad again but he seemed to be in complete accordance with momma. I huffed thinking about how Kev would have been on my side, would have even gone with me, but the problem was, he wasn't here. He was searching for home, I thought bitterly and he was in love. I would never love anyone the way he loves Amanda. I just wasn't capable of loving anyone else, even my family I just felt very strongly for. Like the saying goes, love starts with yourself. I had to learn to love myself. I pulled Kevin's black jacket out of the closet in the kitchen, and pulled it on before turning back to Marie

"Happy?" I sneered. Her hurt expression made me feel guilty at once, and Jackson stood abruptly.

"Apologize." He said looking at me stunned. It was the first time I had ever been rude or slightly disrespectful toward my mother or anyone as a matter of fact. "Apologize to your mother. You have no right to be rude and ungrateful to her. She has helped you every time you needed-"

"I can't." I said cutting him off suddenly filled with a need to speak for myself. "I know she's always been there for me, no matter what but I can't apologize, right now. Not when I know I'll just end up doing it again. She wants to help? Right now I just need to be ignored. It suits me the best, to be invisible." My words were addressed to Jackson but I looked lovingly at my mother. Her eyes filled to the brim with pain and love. She wanted to help me through my depression but she couldn't and I heard her crying every night. I turned leaving the house. I turned and took off out the back door.

Running, I let go. I let go and freed myself of all my inhibitions, and setbacks and limitations. Outrunning my restrictions was the most amazing feeling. The wind blowing through my hair, against my skin, billowing out my clothes was pure bliss for me. This dead end town suffocated me. I watched the trees whip past me and I didn't hit a thing. I dodged around and under trees, great peals of laughter escaped me and I stretched my arms straight above me as I ran, letting tension slide onto the back burner. I slowed for an instant, and it sucker punched me in the stomach. After so long going without, my throat ached almost like I'd contracted strep throat for the first time in years. My throat was hoarse and scratchy and it felt like fire. I pushed back, blood lust clawing viciously at my insides, up my throat, threatening to consume me before exploding from my body, in a burst of violent venom. I fought it, one hand going to my throat, the other clamped across my mouth and nose, whether to hold the beast in or the smell out I had no idea, but I knew I had to get rid of that smell. I was too close to back away now, so I did the next best thing. I bolted toward the lost hiker, shoving him into the pond he'd stopped to drink from. The smell instantly cooled, but only for a second.

"Get out of here!" I screamed desperate knowing he would never be able to get away if I didn't want him to. "Leave! Don't you know you not safe out here, moron?" He scrambled out of the water giving me a shocked look, running into the bushes, not looking back. The only problem was, that made the hikers blood move quicker more vigorously and my own personal demon seemed to enjoy that.

'He'll never make it far enough, or fast enough. You still have a chance, he never did. Go. Reward yourself. Nobody cares about you or that dumb man. He came out here, he was asking for death! GO!!! FEED!!!' I anchored myself to a nearby tree holding tight and growling, spitting and hissing. It was a done deal; I could feel him pushing back my will, hacking back my humanity! My body was thrashing, my nails digging gouges into the rough bark. My body sank into a hunters crouch, and I was about push myself after him when I was knocked sideways to the ground, the weight pinning me down. I screamed and thrashed violently, laughing manically as my nails caught marble flesh. My prey was gone, but I could still have revenge. The stranger on top of me yanked my arms roughly above my head. I growled loudly in the back of my throat.

"Stop! Stop it! You don't want this! He does! Whatever he's saying is a lie!"

"No! NO! He's not lying! He wanted death, he came to me! I deserve to be rewarded!" I howled. Strong hands cruelly slammed my head down, and in the second that demon was stunned, I pushed my way out; found my way back to the surface. I groaned. I looked around and grimaced, before letting me head fall back to the forest floor. Breathe breezed over my face and I realized there was still someone on top of me. I grunted looking up at the person sitting on me, and I forgot how to breathe, thank the god that I didn't need to. His golden eyes peered down at me in an unreadable gaze, lips pushed together seriously and eyebrows lifted he silently questioned me. He was striking in all his brooding glory, and I realized I still hadn't taken a single breathe from the tingling tightness in my chest. I was still silent as his gaze moved over my face and down to look over the position we'd ended up in. I could almost feel heat in my cheeks but I knew that wasn't possible. In my embarrassment I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Mind getting off? I'm not going to go postal and kill anyone." He just looked at me, laughter hiding just behind the brooding look that seemed to be a permanent expression.

"Ok, bad choice of words, but I am fine now." Pulling himself up gracefully he held out a hand for me but I shook my head, preferring to lean against a tree to relax. The stranger hunkered down and looked into my face before sitting beside me. I reached out reluctantly to brush my fingertips across the gash; I'd created on his left cheek. His face was otherwise flawless, and perfect. His eyes were perfectly shaped, wide set and almond shaped with lips that were full but not in a way that made him look feminine, and his nose was lean and long but what I really loved were his eyebrows. They seemed so expressive, arched and thick with hair that was just a shade darker brown than the wild auburn hair I had the most peculiar urge to run my fingers through. His long fingers twined around my wrist and he looked chagrinned at having been hurt, but I just stared into his eyes. I couldn't judge, and even if I could I wouldn't, not him. His gaze seemed to latch onto mine and I couldn't seem to get away, and for the first time in my life, I got lost in a man's eyes. I was drowning and I couldn't seem to stay above the surface.

Authors Note: Okay you don't actually have to read this but it would be nice. So this chapter was written a while ago actually I have at least fourteen chapters done I think but I'm going to be asking for a little advice on some chapters. This chapter varied so far from the original I wondered if it was actually going to work with the rest of what I have written but personally I think it turned out pretty good, if you think otherwise please let me know what you didn't like. Also, the next chapter is going to be from Edwards eyes and I wanted to know what you think of that. I think I should have that up sometime soon. Also I want to thank KaylaCullen13 for giving me advice and my good friend Nura for encouraging me and of course for her praise, and last of all I want to thank Beyonce who weirdly inspired me to start typing this up, but…wait no, no, no! I want everyone who added my story to favorites or alerts or both and are still waiting for the next chapters to know that I thank you profusely. You're the ones who keep me writing, you mean just as much to me as KaylaCullen and Nura.

Lotz of Luv,

ScHeMe

xxxooo