When Stranger Things Have Happened
Written by Shaun Garin
*
*
"Minako-san!" called out Ranma as he waved at the girl from across the campus.
Minako looked up and waved back, excusing herself from her classmates and jogging up to Ranma. "Hey! Ranma! Did you get it done?"
Ranma grinned as he fished out a paper from the stack he was holding and offered it to Minako who took it and scanned it over. "I spellchecked it with the machine and then went over it again by hand," explained Ranma. "Our final draft is all there ready and waiting."
"Oh wow, it's so good!" exclaimed Minako. "This'll get us both an A for sure!"
"Who's your friend Minako-chan?" inquired one of her classmates, a girl with brown hair.
"Oh, this is Ranma, he's my partner for the duration of the assignment," said Minako and another blinked, eyes wide.
"Ranma? That you?" said the dark haired girl and Ranma started to shuffle. "No, can't be… Saotome?"
"Er, I think you've mistaken me for…" said Ranma in a timid voice and the girl examined him. "What are you doing?"
"Quiet." Examining him closely, she checked him over, even his teeth and then sighed. "If you're not Saotome, then I'm a pretty shoddy person with my memory. Do you remember me? Sayuri, Akane's friend?"
"Sayuri? Oh!" Exclaimed Ranma. No wonder she looked so familiar. "Sayuri-san I…!"
Sayuri gazed at Minako and then at Ranma and said, "Excuse us." Before hauling Ranma around the corner.
Minako blinked. "Old girlfriend?" she inquired of her classmate who shrugged.
*
*
"You put on a pretty convincing act there Ranma," said Sayuri with a grin. "I didn't believe it was you. What a difference you make in those clothes."
Ranma sighed and removed his glasses. "Yeah I know. I had to do this to get through college."
"So far it's worked," remarked Sayuri, arms folded. "You look like a totally different person! And you're so soft spoken and shy and timid…"
"Mom's idea. She once saw a play with a pair of twins being played by the same actor and no one could tell the difference," said Ranma as he replaced his glasses, those piercing blue eyes of his muted to grey. "She wants me to finish Journalism."
"A regular Clark Kent, huh?" said Sayuri. "What does Akane think of all of this?"
"She thinks it's hilarious that I'm playing at being a timid man," said Ranma with that infamous grin of his. "Of course, everyone wonders why I'm playing the part of a Kent than I am a Saotome."
"Girl type didn't pan out?" asked Sayuri and Ranma shook her head. "Figured. She's a headturner no matter how you slice it."
"In more ways than one. Mom tried to dress me up in different ways. The best we could get was a timid librarian and even then she's sexy the moment you undo her glasses or take her hair out of the bun," said Ranma. "I've got that disguise on me just in case but its easier being Ranma. And Juuban's nice since I don't get hit by water all the time."
"Ah Ranma, still attracting love interests," sighed Sayuri. "So when's the wedding?"
"When we're both done with school," replied Ranma. "She's wearing my engagement ring now."
*
*
"Sorry I had to steal your lab partner Minako-chan," said Sayuri, returning a blushing and fidgeting Ranma to the girl. "He and I attended the same school and I wanted to catch up in private."
"Oh it's perfectly okay," replied Minako. "You know what they say, wolverines of a kind pack together!"
"That's Birds of a Feather FLOCK TOGETHER!" exclaimed her bag and Minako chuckled nervously.
Sayuri, long accustomed to Minako's "Talking and sighing bag" laughed and Ranma joined in, albeit nervously. "Well, if you need me, I'll be around. See you later, Minako-chan, Ranma."
"So what was that all about?" inquired Minako as Ranma adjusted his grip on the books he was carrying.
"Sayuri-san is Akane's classmate. I'm surprised she's here in Minato Ward. A lot of us went different ways when college hit." Replied Ranma.
"Old friend or old girlfriend?" prodded Minako and Ranma blushed.
"I, er, don't know what you mean Minako-san…"
"Suuuure you don't."
*
*
"All right, before we go today we've got another assignment to hand out," said the professor, earning some groans from some of the more vocal people. Minako looked up, as did Ranma. The pair had started to sit together since their assignment together, and were both attentive at the mention of a new assignment.
"As you all know, part of being a Journalist is finding new sources, and tapping old ones. As such, I'm assigning everyone a location of the city to find an old story from the locals and interview them. You will be pairing off into teams of your own design, from 2 to 5 people."
The man started handing them out and added, "Each location is determined randomly. Please choose a topic of who you want to interview, why and how. Ask all the questions."
Ranma took his copy and turned to Minako. "Work with me again Minako-san?"
"Sure!" exclaimed Minako. "What do we have?"
Ranma flipped the page open and he went several shades of white. Minako looked at the page and read, "Interview Ranma Saotome of Nerima District. Well, seems simple enough!"
Ranma couldn't say anything else, beyond coughing.
*
*
"Momma this isn't funny!" exclaimed Ranma as he had gone to his house as soon as school let out. He wore a sullen, slightly panicked expression on his face.
His mother on the other hand was killing herself laughing. "Oh my dear, only you could get into a situation like that yourself."
"But how am I going to interview myself when Minako-san is there at the same time?" exclaimed Ranma. "You know the moment I reveal myself to her, it's going to be chaos! Everything from flying yeti-things to Chinese Amazon'll be on my tail!"
Nodoka only laughed harder and Ranma turned to his father who simply held up a sign that read "Suck it up boy."
"Fat lot of help you are pops," grumbled Ranma, folding his arms. "Seriously, Minako-san's already told me she's got a bit of a crush on the Godslayer. The way that girl goes into rapt detail makes me shiver."
"Dear I'm sure she's a perfectly nice young lady," said Nodoka, calming from her merry giggling.
"That's when she mentioned something about fuzzy handcuffs and strawberries and I completely tuned it out." Said Ranma with a sour expression on his face. "Seriously, how can I solve this problem?"
"Well, Ranma. When you need to ask someone how to solve a problem, you go to the source of mystical help. Go and talk with Cologne; she'll know what to do."
*
*
"Old bat this isn't funny!" exclaimed Ranma as he watched the wizened and dignified elder giggle merrily atop her staff. "Old Ghoul!"
"Quiet sonny, you haven't given me this kind of fun in ages," exclaimed Cologne, withdrawing her staff from where she walloped him on the head. "Shampoo, come out here for a moment!"
"Yes great-grandmother? Oh! Airen!" In an instant Shampoo had power glomped him for old times sake. "You look too too frumpy with that outfit." She chided, removing his glasses.
"Mom's idea," replied Ranma. "Good to see you too Shampoo. How's Mousse?"
"Is off on delivery. Still wants rematch." Replied Shampoo. "Is Violent Girl doing okay?"
"Yeah, Akane said she's coming home from school for a few days. College break." Replied Ranma. "But I'm in a pickle, considering that my journalism program wants me to interview myself."
"Well then Son-in-Law, what do you suppose you should do?" replied Cologne. "You do realize honesty is the best policy right?"
"Yeah I know…" sighed Ranma. "I just don't want to lie to Minako-san more. My partner in this program."
"Is good then," replied Shampoo, sitting Ranma down and patting him on the head. "Ranma sound very cultured. Very polite."
"Like you have to feign the accent anymore?" replied Ranma and Shampoo's lips quirked into a smirk. "Seriously Shampoo…"
"All right, all right," replied Shampoo. "You'd think after a few years I could still get away with it."
"Her Japanese has improved greatly. I'm glad I insisted on her to use it more," said Cologne, chuckling as she sat down. "Now then Son-in-Law, you'd best tell that girl you're holding a double life. Otherwise it's curtains for your friendship."
"True…" Ranma sighed. "Maybe I should introduce her to Ranko first…"
"NO." exclaimed the pair in unison. "That'll make it worse. Especially if you use the meek librarian personality you have for her," added Shampoo.
"Got it."
*
*
"Minako, you have a guest," called out her mother.
"Hmm?" Minako looked out into the hall and blinked. "Oh, Ranma! Come in! Mom, Ranma and I are going to my room to talk, okay?"
"Have fun dear."
Ranma blushed as he followed Minako. "Sorry for coming by so late Minako-san. I wanted to talk before we head to Nerima tomorrow." He looked around. "Your cat isn't around here is he?"
"Artemis is out at the moment," replied Minako and privately added, "Getting into trouble probably." Opening the door to her room, Ranma followed her and she closed it before sitting down at the small table. "You wanted to talk about something?"
Ranma nodded. "It's about our trip to Nerima. Specifically the guy that we need to interview."
"You mean that hunky guy Ranma Saotome? What about him?" asked Minako.
"Well… that is to say…" Ranma took a deep breath and said, "I'd best show you."
Removing his glasses, he reached behind his neck and braided his hair into a pigtail and messed up his hair. Looking up, Minako found herself lost in those blue eyes before realization slammed home. "YOU?! What?! BWUH? GUH?!"
"Yeah, all of those," said Ranma. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."
Thump.
Ranma looked over at Minako and sweated as she had passed out on the floor. "Well… that was half-expected."
*
*
Minako groaned as she sat up. "Wha? What happened?"
"You passed out when I explained who I was," replied Ranma, still sitting there. But he had in the meantime had somehow changed out of the suit jacket, sweater and other frumpy-like outfit into a red silk Chinese shirt and pants and kung fu slippers. "Sorry bout that Minako. I didn't want to let it boil into a lie of who I was."
"You were lying already," groused Minako, holding her head. "How, or rather why are you acting so…?"
"Quiet? Mousey? Well it's cause of my mom really. You know how I said I had to learn how to become a good student? Not sticking out was one of those things I had ta learn. That, and proper grammar, Japanese, the whole nine yards." Replied Ranma. "You see it started like this…"
*
*
Three Years Ago…
*
*
"Ranma, what is this?" inquired Nodoka one day when she held up one of Ranma's tests. The young man winced at it. "It's a 30."
"Aw jeez momma, I didn't have time ta study," groaned Ranma. "Shampoo showed up with a new meal and then Ucchan followed and it spiralled from there. I was lucky enough to get up in time for the exam."
"Still, it's not good enough. Ranma, walk with me for a bit." Said Nodoka, and the Tendos who were near the conversation shared a look as Ranma trudged after his mom.
Once out the gate and on the street, Nodoka sighed. "Ranma, I have no doubt that you are a manly man, and even your coping with your femininity has been a work in progress. But I am very worried that you will be held back in school. These are the placement exams for the next grade and I'm afraid you'll be stuck in high school without being able to go anywhere else."
"But I can't really do anything to deter the fiancées or the rivals momma," protested Ranma.
"I know, but I had an idea. Have you heard the concept of a Secret Identity?"
"A what?"
"A secret identity. It's a concept from manga and film, especially prominent in western media. You see, when I was still waiting for you and your father to come home, I went and saw a play. In it, there was a pair of twins played by the same person, but no one knew it WAS the same person until the final part of the story when the curtain rolled up for the final time. I was thinking… what if we disguise you in a way that it's neither obtrusive or a method to stand out. Slip from the famous Ranma Saotome… to Ranma?"
"A… secret identity…" Ranma thought about it for a long moment and said, "Well… it sounds reasonable on paper momma but I dunno…"
"It will drive your father insane."
"Where's the closest place again?"
*
*
Their journey had taken them to a local clothing store and Ranma emerged from the dressing room wearing a t-shirt and a pair of pants.
"No t-shirts, for heavens sake anyone can see your six pack." Said Nodoka with a shake of her head. Ranma tried not to beam and she smiled as she handed him a blue sweater. "Try this sweater on. Lower your shoulders a little, don't stand up so straight."
Ranma did so, slouching just a little, lowering his bearing a bit.
"Now your voice. Try it lower."
Ranma thought for a moment and pitched his voice to a baritone. "Four score…" Nodoka shook her head. "No, that's too low."
Lightening it to a high baritone, Ranma repeated the phrase as Nodoka smiled and nodded. "Perfect. And make it softer Ranma."
Dressing up Ranma in the suit jacket, she reached up and undid his pigtail, letting his long hair flow out before tying it in a simple ponytail. And then she tamed his hair with a comb before settling back to examine her handiwork. The girl at the counter was grinning. It was like watching a Superhero Metamorphisis happen/
"Now about your eyes… for the longest time I've been getting compliments on how unearthly of a blue they are."
Ranma shrugged. "Sunglasses?"
"No, that'd give you a cool look and I don't want that," said Nodoka as she looked around. And then she noticed the girl at the counter and waved her over. "Young miss, can I have those?" and she indicated her glasses.
"Sure thing," said the girl as she pulled her glasses off and fished out a second copy to see Ranma put them on and exclaim, "Whoa, strong prescription!"
"Yes, that'll do. It cuts the color just a little. I think you're ready. Now remember, read up on those acting books and try not to bluster so much. We want to make sure that you get a good education and having your troubles come down on your head even for a year will be difficult."
"Right. Got it." Ranma grinned at his appearance. "Wow, I do look like a completely new person."
"Just remember everything we learned. Now give the nice young lady her glasses back and we'll see about getting some for yourself."
*
*
"And just like that, Ranma was born," said Ranma finally as he lowered his tea cup.
"Wow… that's…" Minako laughed lightly. "That's amazing! I never thought something like that could work!"
"And yet it did. Even in Furinkan, I managed to pull it off for a few weeks. I managed to slip under Kuno's radar too." Said Ranma with a grin. "So, still wanna hit or date me?"
"Hit maybe. Date, considering you're engaged I'll just save for later." Replied Minako. "So now what?"
"Now? Now you get to interview me."