See how quickly I update when I get a lot of reviews? (hint hint) Reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy. And they help me with ideas too! If you have someone you would like to see on the show let me know in a review, and you might just see them!

It's my favourite time, it's disclaimer time! (Just kidding, disclaimers are not my favourite part, but I must soldier on)

Disclaimer: I don't own much. I don't own any Harry Potter characters, places, creatures, newspapers, magazines, or other Harry Potter things. I also do not own Switzerland or Sweden. There's probably a lot more that I am just forgetting to mention so just to cover my bases, the only things I own are Tim and the audience. That's it. Such a sad and unfulfilled life I lead.

There was something else I wanted to say but I can't remember, when I do I will be sure to add it.

Onward I say!

Fred: Good morning! Good morning!

George: He's kidding, we're clearly an afternoon program.

Fred: Why must you always rain on my parade?

George: A parade! Where?

Fred: Points off to side; over there!

George: Looks to where Fred has pointed; where?

Fred: Made you look!

George: Notices camera for the first time; oh, hello there faithful viewer! How are you this fine afternoon? I'm great, thanks for asking! I just wanted to welcome you to The Fred and George Variety Hour! I hope you enjoy our episode today, we-

Fred: who are you talking to?

George: Tim.

Fred: Oh! Hey Tim! How are you?

Tim: I'm fine.

Fred: Just fine?

Tim: I would be better if you lot would get a move on.

George: Touché.

Fred: Since Tim is such a hard ass-

George: -ociate. Since Tim is such a hard associate to please, we are going to get a move on.

Fred: Thanks George.

George: Don't mention it Fred.

Fred: I nearly forgot that we are in fact a family program.

George: I said don't mention it.

Fred: And I said I'm sorry.

George: No, you didn't.

Tim: And I said get a move on.

George: Yes, you did say that.

Fred: Tim sure loves to put a cramp in our witty repertoire style.

George: That he does. Let's humour him for a bit though.

Fred: Bring on the fire breathing lion!

Audience: Applauds

George: He's kidding, no such thing as a fire breathing lion. A dragon maybe-

Fred: Draco Malfoy! Where?

George: Backstage.

Fred: You're lying.

George: How did you know?

Fred: I can read your mind!

Audience: Ohhh!

George: Not really. It's a twin thing.

Twins:smile cheekily

George: Anyways, enough lolly-gagging.

Fred: Lolly-gagging – to choke on a sucker.

George: Gag on a lolly, ha! You are hilarious!

Fred: I would agree; I am indeed the funny twin.

George: Which makes me: the good looking twin! The good looking twin would like to welcome our guest for today-

Fred: but the funny twin is going to beat you to it.

George: Come on down Luna Lovegood!

Fred: You're the next contestant on The Price is Right!

Audience:Applauds

Luna:Gazing up at ceiling; what lovely Ella-muff-a-lumps you have!

George:Confused; why thank you Luna.

Fred: More like Loony.

George: Be nice, Fred.

Luna: You know who was one of the first people to be nice to me?

Fred: Let me guess…Trelawney?

Luna: No silly, Harry Potter!

Audience: Cheers

George: There's something I would like to get off of my chest.

Fred: Go for it George, let it all out.

George: I HATE HARRY POTTER!

Audience: Collective gasp.

Luna: Clasps a hand over her mouth.

Fred: Looks shocked, like he's about to have a heart attack.

Tim: Looses control of camera – screen shows lovely shot of the floor in front of Tim's feet.

In a cemetery somewhere Voldemort rolls over in his grave.

Fred: Recovers first; He was kidding folks, he was clearly kidding, just a little joke between us. No need to fret, it was a joke. He was kidding. To George; you were kidding right?

Luna: Perhaps he has seen a Wrackspurt recently.

Fred: Maybe we should go to commercial. Tim?

Tim: You got it.

Fred: Join us after the break where we will roast my brother alive, and talk some more to Luna Lovegood!

Announcer: The Fred and George Variety Hour on the WC is brought to you by Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, 'Selling joke and trick items since 1995, come visit us at 97 Diagon Alley', and by Gladrags Wizardwear in Hogsmeade, 'Specializing in strange socks since sometime in September, visit our other locations in London and Paris'.

Commercial One: Want to have your own personal mail delivery system? You need an owl! Need supplies for the owl you already have? You need Eeylops! Eeylops Owl Emporium in Diagon Alley needs you! Eeylops has everything you and your owl need to have a long delivery partnership. We specialize in breeds of owls. From Brown to Tawny, Snowy to Screech, we have what you need! What you need is Eeylops!

Commercial Two: Read the Daily Prophet. We are no longer run by Voldemort worshipping criminals! We believe in Harry Potter! Go team Phoenix! Read the Daily Prophet!

George: Everything is all Harry-Potter-this and Harry-Potter-that. Why don't we change our name to The Harry Potter Referencing Hour?

Fred: Because, we are The Fred and George Variety Hour! And you are starting to scare me! I think perhaps you need to be shipped off to St. Mungo's for a year or ten. Anyways, back to our guest, Luna Lovegood. During the commercial break there was an ad for The Daily Prophet. Your father, Xenophilius Lovegood, runs a rival paper, The Quibbler. What can you tell us about that?

Luna: It's actually a magazine. My father publishes facts about the Ministry-

George: I think I read the one about how Fudge had Goblins baked into pie.

Fred: Welcome back to normalcy George and yes I do believe I read that also.

Luna: He also does features on various creatures that are found across Europe.

Fred: Fudge does?

George: Xeno of The Quibbler.

Fred: Oh, right. Tell us about some of these creatures Luna.

Luna: My personal favourite would have to be the Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

George: The Crumple-Horned Snack Food? Sounds delicious!

Luna: Snorkack. And its existence is really quite fascinating-

Fred: What's so fascinating about snack foods? I mean sure their delicious and –

Luna: Snorkack. It's an animal that is native to Sweden.

Fred: Ah, good old neutral Sweden!

George: That's Switzerland.

Tim: Actually they're both considered neutral.

Fred: There you have it folks! You actually learn things here on-

George: The Fred and George Variety Hour!

Twins: Smile cheekily

Luna: They can't fly.

Fred: Who, the Swiss?

George: No, the Swedes!

Luna: I was referring to the Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

George: Of course you were!

Fred: Tell us about those fashion forward earrings you are wearing!

George: What are they? Where did you get them? How did you match them to your outfit?

Luna: Oh, thank you for the compliment! I quite like my radish earrings! I made them myself. I wear them with everything. They're very versatile. Do you like my necklace also?

Fred: Very stylish indeed. Are those…?

Luna: Butterbeer corks!

George: Lovely.

Fred: Luna, have you ever considered going into fashion?

George: Starting your own line of jewelery?

Luna: Oh, you are really kind, just like Harry Potter!

Audience: Cheers

George: Glares

Fred: Easy there George. Please, go on, Luna.

Luna: Well what I really want to do is go on an expedition to see a Crumple-Horned Snorkack with my very own eyes.

Fred: Sounds marvelous.

George: Certainly a good time will be had by all.

Fred: Most definitely.

Luna: Let me ask you then, what are your plans for the future?

George: We want to be the most famous twins in the history of the world!

Fred: Ha ha! He sounds crazy when he says it, but it's true.

George: We're trying to break into the acting world. I don't know if you caught our episode with Voldie, but he had some problems trying to become an actor.

Fred: There's a lot of criticism in show business.

George: Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin. It's hard.

Luna: I'm sure you'll be great no matter what you do!

Fred: Thanks!

George: There you have it folks! The true Luna Lovegood! Pretty, smart, ambitious and most importantly: polite!

Audience: Applauds

George: May I say, Luna, that you have the most beautiful eyes? They're so silvery and protuberant, like a foghorn in the mist!

Luna: Blushes wildly; why thank you George. Your hair is so fiery and crimson, like a fire truck at a fire!

George: Blushes wildly

Fred: Would you two get a room? We're a family program!

George & Luna: Gazing deep into each others' eyes; sorry Fred.

Fred: Honestly. There could be little children watching.

George & Luna disappear off-stage.

Fred: Well at least they did what I said. Tim, have we got much time left?

Tim: About a minute or so.

Fred: Great. I think the audience has been wonderful today!

Audience:Applauds

Fred: You are all receiving a year's subscription to The Quibbler!

Audience:Applauds

Fred: Join us next time for another insightful, hard hitting and most importantly, fun interview with a special guest!

Hum. So I still don't remember what it was I was going to say.

Review! Say hi! Talk about the weather! Give me feedback: tell me what you like, tell me what you don't like.

I'll even write back to you! Writing a fic? Drop me a line (aka a review) and I will check it out. I'm always looking for fics to read. Especially Dramione, but I will read other ships too!

Suddenly I do remember, it was something along the lines of I don't own obscure references to songs from musicals, etc. Thanks and good day!

RIP Heath Ledger, such a tragedy for such a young and talented actor. You will be missed.