Disclaimer: I do not and will never own twilight, this fanfic minus the names of the characters is however my original work
A/N: so here we go again, this one I'm afraid will not be as long as the last chapter, and also, the storm is moving in and the sweetness of last chapter will peek into the beginning, but be prepared to bid it goodbye because its going on a long overdue vacation, and its archrival angst is moving in for the time being, so don't throw any rotten tomatoes at me, and don't say that I didn't warn you! Oh and I'm overjoyed to have so many hits to my story but people please REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! How do I know if you guys like my story or not if you don't tell me?!?! Okay enough from me for now here's ch 5
BPOV
I woke up the next morning in my bed with a killer headache. I don't even remember walking into my bedroom. All I remember was making out with Edward on the couch and snuggling up to him. It dawned on me, that I must have fallen asleep in his arms! I blushed as I imagined myself snuggled up to him, but also at the same time I was embarrassed that I'd fallen asleep draped all over Edward. Hell, that's probably how I got to bed; he must have carried me into my bedroom. I wanted to dive underneath the covers until Hell froze over. The guy of my dreams was not supposed to see me like that! I leaned over to grab a bottle of Tylenol out of my nightstand and popped a couple before I headed for the shower.
EPOV
I don't know how long I sat on Bella's bed watching her sleep, how I longed to have her in my arms through the night. The outcome of last night was not what I imagined at all what it would be. I was supposed to have confessed, and my angel would know exactly how I felt about her, but instead I got her so drunk that she passed out in my arms. I was no closer now then I've been for the last 4 years. I barely got a wink of sleep last night. I decided that a hot shower was a definite need if I was to be functional today. I grabbed a pair of shorts and headed for my bathroom. While in the shower I tried thinking up more plans to come clean of my intentions, but none of them seemed too workable, and I just ended my getting more and more frustrated as I leaned against the tile wall of the shower and growled. I mentally went over my schedule and realized that I would not be able to see Bella today until I got back from the dinner meeting that I had lined up with the client from England. I decided that I would sacrifice my lunch today, so I could go see her on campus. After I got dressed I saw that the door to her room was wide open. I ducked my head in but as I suspected she was probably still in the shower, I grabbed my things and headed for the door, on the way out the door I sent Bella a text message telling her to meet me at the fountain in the quad, today at noon. I don't know if I was going to confess to her there but I definitely needed to talk to her about last night. I needed her to know that last night I was planning on telling her something important and that I wanted her to wait up for me tonight so I could tell her when I got home. I would be counting the minutes until noon and I had a bad feeling that this was going to be a really long day.
BPOV
The hot shower did wonders for my headache, as I walked back into my room I noticed that the apartment was silent, and noticed the time, Edward must have already left for work. I felt relieved and disappointed at the same time. I wanted to see him after the events of last night, but I was also embarrassed because I didn't know what I would say to him if he were actually here. I heard my phone vibrate on the desk, so I walked over and picked it up, I had 2 text messages. I clicked to read the most recent one, it was from Jacob, he wanted me to meet him at the fountain in the quad at 11:45am, and said that he had exciting news. I smirked I wonder if it was what I was thinking, I mean Christie had already been waiting long enough. I replied back and said I would be there. I hit next to read the next message. My heart froze when I saw that it was from Edward, it said "we need to talk, meet me at the quad fountain on campus today at noon. E"
A thousand emotions ran through my head all at the same time. What did he want to talk about? Could it be about last night? Could it be that he regretted what happened last night? No! I hastened to contradict myself; Edward was definitely interested last night! I was extra careful in picking out my outfit for today, I started pulling everything out of my closet, and for once in my life I was glad that Alice was a shopaholic. Today was going to be warm so I chose a cute loose skirt and 2 lacy camisoles in different colors so I could do a layering effect; I was going to leave my hair down in wavy strands. As I was walking out of my bedroom I decided to add a little something to my outfit. I went to my dresser and pulled out a bottle of my extremely expensive perfume that I used on special occasions, and dabbed some on my wrists, neck and decided for the hell of it into my cleavage as well. I decided that when I met with Edward today I would tell him that there is something really important that I needed to get off my chest, I don't think that I can wait any longer, I don't think I can handle anymore of what happened last night with out spontaneously combusting.
I spared a quick glance at the clock, Shit I was going to be late for my class if I didn't leave right now.
I made it though my morning classes with moderate difficulty; time seemed to have stood still. My classes never seem to be that long in the past. Finally at 11:30 I got out of my last class, I ducked into the bathroom to make sure that I looked okay, I didn't want to face Edward looking like a slob. I checked my watch again and saw that I had just enough time to make it to the fountain in time to meet with Jacob. I was walking up to the fountain just as Jacob was coming out of the Casey Building. I waved at him and saw him grin and jog over to me.
"Bella! I'm so glad you could make it!"
"Hey! How's it going? So what's going on? What's the big news?" I asked pretending like I didn't already know what he was about to tell me.
"Um wait till Christie comes, she'll be out in a minute, she was just finishing up with Professor Don."
"You Sneak! You finally popped the question!" I couldn't hold it in anymore; I was so excited for them!
"Wait… you knew already?!?!, did Christie tell you?"
"Ha ha NO she didn't tell me, I just knew, call it a woman's intuition"
"Bella!"
"Christie!" I ran up to her and gave her a big hug. She was so overjoyed that she started spinning us around. We almost tripped and fell, but good thing Jacob came to our rescue and steadied Christie. I grabbed Christie's hand to take a good look at the rock on her finger.
"Oh My God! Look at the size of that rock!"
"Bella, would you be our maid of honor?" Jacob asked
I looked from Jacob to Christie with tears in my eyes, "Oh you guys! I would love to! I would be honored! Thank you!"
I leaned over to kiss Christie and give her another big hug, and then it was Jacob's turn to crush me with his bear hug and he brushed a kiss across my lips.
EPOV
I walked out of my car holding the bouquet of flowers in my tightly grasped fist. I glanced at my watch and realized that I was a little early, I was anxious to see Bella so I left the office a little early, as I rounded the corner, my heart thumped in anticipation of seeing Bella. I strode confidently into the quad, and as I neared the fountain, what I saw in front of the fountain had me screeching to a halt. I saw my angel, my Bella, wrapped in the arms of that DOG, that she used to date, and he was KISSING her! I was furious I felt in every ounce of my being that I was being betrayed, and that the purity of my Bella would be forever tarnished by this animal! I immediately spun around and ducked behind some shrubbery. I couldn't watch my angel me mauled by some DOG. How could she let that animal touch her after being in my arms last night? Did my embraces and kisses mean nothing to her? They were the world to me; there is nothing in the world that I would trade for those moments. I dropped the flowers to ground and left them there, there was no way I was going to give them to her now. Hell I didn't even know what to say to her now. Every single word of my well-rehearsed speech fled my mind. I peeked around the shrubbery to see that Bella was standing alone with her back to me. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat and walked towards her. With each heavy step I took towards her my heavy heart felt like it was cracking and any moment now it was going to shatter to pieces. I took a deep breath, and reached out to tap her shoulder.
"Bella"
"Edward!" she said with a big smile
She reached up to wrap her arms around my neck and pulled herself in close for a light hug, I allowed myself to wrap my arms around her for a few seconds of heaven as I buried my nose in her hair and breathed in a lungful of pure Bella. I then forced myself to let go, I leaned back and my hands gripped her shoulders and slid down her arms until I finally let go and my hands fell back to my side.
"So Edward, what did you want to talk about?"
"Um… Well…"
BPOV
"Um … Well…uhh …"
Edward dropped his head down and looked everywhere but at me, as he tried again to form a coherent sentence.
"Edward, is it something important?"
Finally he looked up at me and nodded, "We need to talk about last night, I…"
Suddenly the Quad was overflowing with people, what was calm and quiet a few moments ago was now noisy and bustling with people. I looked at Edward with expectant eyes, but I could already tell that he closed up, and that whatever he was going to say to me before, was not going to be said here and now.
"Um… you know what, I think that this can wait till we get home."
"Okay… Edward are you okay, you don't seem to be yourself today, is everything alright?"
EPOV
NO! Everything is NOT all right! Can't you see that I'm in pain and agony right now? I just witnessed the girl that I love with ever fiber of my being, being mauled and defiled by some sick bastard! So No I'm NOT OKAY!
"Yeah, everything is fine, I'm just stressed from work is all, lots of deadlines coming up."
I was slowly dying inside and I just couldn't keep a hold of my emotions any longer. I just had to get away. I saw someone trying to her attention from across the quad.
"Bella!"
She turned towards the girl who was calling her name; I took this as my opportunity to escape. I jogged back over to my car, my emotions were so jumbled I had trouble getting the key to even fit into the ignition. I didn't what to feel at that moment. I seriously thought that Bella wasn't involved with anyone. Last night was the most amazing night of my life, but if I had known that Bella and that…would I have still been able to tell her? All of these thoughts were swirling through my head. I just couldn't wrap my head around that. I had to get out of here. Just sitting here was driving me insane, I needed to blow off some steam; I pulled away from the curb and decided to go to the gym. I still had to go to dinner with that client tonight, and I couldn't go back into the office in the state that I was in. I was seriously a wreck.
BPOV
I turned towards the voice that was calling my name. It was Sara from my morning class; she wanted to return the notes that I lent her last week. I quickly thanked her, and turned back around, to my dismay Edward had disappeared. He was acting really weird, for a minute there I thought that he was going to say… but then he looked like he was in pain. He said that he had something important to say to me tonight… I wonder what it could be. After last night I really need to know where I stand with him. If last night was a fluke for him, I don't know if I would be able to continue living in the same apartment as him. I just don't know how I could continue to face him. It's so hard to hold myself in check whenever I'm around him, but I won't jump to any conclusions just yet. Edward said that we needed to talk tonight, and I trusted him. I wouldn't make any rash decisions until we talked.
EPOV
After the gym, I had a better hold of my emotions, there had to be a logical reason for why Bella was wrapped around that…regardless of what I saw I decided that I would still tell her tonight of my feelings towards her. I owed myself at least that, she had to know, even if she didn't return my feelings at least she would know, I would go away devastated, with my heart bleeding and in ruins but at least I was giving her the option of choosing me over that…I had to make my move now, Bella was close to graduating, I don't know if she intended to stay in the apartment or not, I needed to make my intentions clear, so that I would know what direction our relationship was going, I couldn't watch her graduate, move out of the apartment and out of my life.
That night I finished with the client early and decided to go pick up some flowers at the florist. I picked up a bouquet of Bella's favorite stargazer lilies and headed home. I parked the car in the garage and sat in my car for a few moments, I needed to gather my thoughts; I didn't want to fuck up this opportunity. I grabbed the flowers and headed to the elevator. My palms started to sweat as the elevator slowly made its way up to the 11th floor. The doors to the elevator slid open and as I was stepping out of the elevator I could hear Bella's voice, she must have been taking the trash out to the garbage shoot.
"All right I love you guys too! Tell everyone I said hello Jacob!"
Jacob…Oh My God she just said that she loved him… what am I doing? I'm such an idiot! What possessed me to go buy these flowers? She smiled up at me as she saw me walking out of the elevator. I forced myself to swallow the bile that rose in my throat, as I followed her inside, I tossed the bouquet of flowers in the umbrella rack by the door, I wasn't going to go in there with flowers to make a fool of myself when she just confessed her love for some other guy.
"Oh ok yea love you too, I'll see you soon!"
"Hey, you're back early!"
"Yeah, Can we talk?"
"Sounds serious, lets go into the living room, do you want a drink I think we still have a bottle of that wine coolers that you bought yesterday."
Oh God why did she have to go mention yesterday?
"No, I'm ok I'd rather we not be intoxicated for this."
"Okay… Shoot"
"Bella, about last night…"
"Yeah?"
She looked at me expectantly, I couldn't do. I chickened out. So I did the only thing I knew how to do in order to protect myself, I pulled out the asshole routine. I blinked a couple of times and cleared my throat and prepared to bedazzle the love of my life with a shitload of lies.
"Last night was fun Bella, we should do it again sometime."
BPOV
I couldn't believe what I had just heard, "last night was fun?!? We should do it again sometime?" NO that couldn't be it! Last night was the most amazing night of my life, that couldn't be want he was wanting to say.
"Edward… that was something we've never done before…what…what about that kiss…"
I trailed off. I swear that kiss had to mean something to him
"And the dancing…" I trailed off again, this must be some kind of mistake, and there was no way I was reading the signs wrong!
EPOV
Again I forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen. Each word of the lies that I told her was like a knife into my heart, "It was just a kiss Bella." My brain screamed at me, IT WAS NOT JUST A KISS! It was so much more than that. WHAT HAPPENED TO LETTING HER CHOOSE? YOU OWE YOURSELF THAT MUCH! As I was trying to block out the thoughts running through my head, I could see Bella's eyes widen as all of the color suddenly drained off of her face. I allowed myself one more lie; that was about all that I could take before I had to get out of there.
"We're both adults Bella, we just had some casual fun, and it was nothing. You know you should loosen up more Bella, you'd have more fun!" I winked at her and spun on my heel. With the most self-control that I could muster, I strode down the hall and in to my bedroom, locked the door and slumped down on the floor and just let the tears fall unhindered. I allowed myself to be a jerk in order to protect myself from getting hurt but why is it hurting so much right now? I just want to curl up into a ball and die! The empty space where my heart used to be was in excruciating pain, like some one had run over it with a semi. My brain was calling me a million times an idiot. Maybe that was just what I was, a stupid idiot.
A/N: okay yes I lie, I thought that this was going to be shorter than the last chapter but it ended up being a lot longer… so that's just more for you guys to read. I had originally wanted to keep this chapter short so I thought about splitting this chapter into 2 but I figured that there wasn't a good cutoff point because I don't usually like to leave cliffhangers. This is kind of a dark/ full of angst chapter, but is very essential to the storyline, I thought that I would end on Edward's POV, mainly because Edward is the star and focus of this chapter, a little warning as to here on out, Hot and Cold will mainly be written from Edward's POV (spoiler) Edward will be making a trip out of town soon (those who leave reviews will get a sneak preview of why and what happens to Bella while he's gone) hehe so that's an incentive for you to REVIEW! Oh yes I would like to give a special shout out to mfrancesj, purplebookwork, and lamb1966 thank you thank you for adding Hot and Cold to your story favorites!