All things related to twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer; this fanfic is my original work

A/N: Okay, Okay, Okay, so we have all established that Edward is an idiot…so I hope that everyone was satisfied with the super long chapter 5 and I promise that cruelty to Edward is totally necessary, however for those of you who are avid Edward fans you probably are not going to like me in the coming chapters…hehehe full of angst! Enjoy chapter 6!

BPOV

As I watched him walk down the hall to his bedroom, I was crumbling. I slowly sank down to the couch. I couldn't stop trembling. I replayed his words in my head, none of it made any sense at all.

He said that "it was JUST a kiss…" what is that supposed to mean? Did I read the signs all-wrong? Why is he always like this… last night and just this morning he was really sweet, what happened between then and now? So what is this it? His attitude just now, he was acting like a stupid jerk, not at all like the Edward I know. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He always does this, every time when I'm ready to move on, he gives me false hope, and stupid me I fall head on into the relationship, only to have him pull up short. I'm such an idiot, why do I constantly set myself up for this hurt? He acted as if last night was a total fluke. This is so embarrassing, how am I going to face him again? It dawned on me that I was all over him yesterday, GOD I must have looked like such a slut, the way that I just threw myself at him. What possessed me to hug and kiss him like that? I wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but I knew that would be a lie. I was out to prove to Edward my feelings towards him. This was as good of a rejection as ever right?

I sat there for God knows how long, I realized that I couldn't continue sitting on the couch, ever second longer that I sat there I would be reminded of what were doing here last night. I put myself out there and he just laughed in my face. That's it I couldn't continue to stay here, I would have to find a place to move to, I don't think that I could even stay for the rest of the semester, I knew that it would be very difficult, but I had to get out of there. I wonder if I could get Alice to help me, but then I would have to tell her why I was moving out and she was not going to let me keep quiet. If I told her then she and Jasper would be all over Edward. I just wanted to leave this alone. As if I could pretend that all of this never happened, but every room in this apartment reminded me of Edward. I couldn't continue to stay here, every time I were to look Edward in the face we would both be reminded of how I threw myself at him and how he rejected me. I had to get out of here; I didn't want the pity I knew he would be dishing out.

I walked into my room and started to assess my finances, I figured if I was to be really tight with money and with what little savings I had I could afford a small studio on the slummier side of town, I didn't want to spread myself too thin, if I were to land the internship next week, things would be looking better, but until then I had to prepare incase I didn't get it. I decided that tomorrow would be a new leaf for me. I looked online and found an apartment complex across town that had an open studio that didn't hold a contract. It was a little more than I was willing to pay but this was my last semester, I don't know what I was going to do after graduation, I wouldn't know anything until next week. With that decided, I would drive across town tomorrow to look at that studio. With a few decisions made about my future, I turned off the lights and tried to go to sleep, my emotions were raw, but sleep didn't come, I stared at the ceiling until pure exhaustion consumed me.

EPOV

I sat on the floor with my back against the door the whole night. The tears that fell unhindered off my face last night had left my face feeling crusty, but I couldn't care less. The sunrise was peaking through my windows, I almost laughed at the irony of it. Here was this beautiful sunrise, signifying the beginning of a brand new day, and here I was emotionally crushed and helpless. My alarm went off, but I got up to shut it off I was not going to go in, I went over to my computer and sent an e-mail to my supervisor telling him that I signed the contract last night, but I would be taking a sick day today.

I crawled into bed, and hugged a pillow, I didn't care how it looked I was going to have a pity party. I thought that after a night of sitting there wallowing in my misery, I would have no more tears to cry, but as I heard Bella's alarm go off, a fresh wave of emotions washed over me. Every little aspect of her just served to remind me of how I would never have her. My heard and my head started up their argument again. My brain kept telling me that I still had a chance, but my bleeding heart told me that all was hopeless. I was so lost, I wanted to talk to someone, but there was no one that I could really talk to. Emmett would never understand; he was never hesitant to tell a girl that he loved her, and he had never had his heart trampled on. I couldn't talk to Jasper, he would just tell Alice, and she would just ruin everything. Most of all I didn't want their pity, I just didn't know what voice I should be listening to, I had been listening to my heart before and look at where that got me. If I listened to my head, then what if she rejected me again? I just about died last night, but that voice kept creeping back into my head. I had never really said the words to Bella; I knew that voice in my head would not shut up until I actually said the words to Bella. I tried covering my head with a pillow, but still couldn't block out the menacing voice that taunted me. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON'T ASK…

I moaned, it would never stop…

BPOV

My alarm went off, and I saw that it was a bright and sunny day, although my emotions were still raw from last night, I was ready to move on, for the longest time I was in denial, thinking that if I waited long enough then Edward would return my feelings, but every time I was disappointed. I was so pathetic, but he made it very clear last night… he wasn't going to show any interest, I was a FLUKE.

Determined to not think about Edward anymore, I hurried to get ready for the day, the quicker I could get the ball rolling on the new chapter of my life, the better. I didn't bother with breakfast, I don't think I can step foot in that kitchen ever again. As I walked out of the apartment, a flash of pink caught my eye; I looked into the umbrella bin and saw a bouquet of beautiful stargazer lilies. I looked wistfully at them, wishing that they were mine. It must have been some kind of mistake in delivery or wrong address or something. As I was walking toward the elevator, I couldn't help but to look back at the flowers longingly. They were really expensive flowers, they still looked fresh, and I wondered if maybe I returned them to the store they could re-deliver them. I knew it sounded ridiculous, but I couldn't tolerate these beautiful flowers wilting and dying with out some one admiring them. I walked back over to the bin and picked up the bouquet, and decided that I would swing by the shop after I went to the apartment complex. I looked at the business card that was attached to the side, and saw that the florist was just a few blocks from the apartment complex I was going to.

I got to the apartment complex just as the management office opened, luckily the studio that I was looking at was still available, and I asked if I could take a look. When inside, I realized that it was extremely different than the apartment I shared with Edward, but that was the good thing, I didn't want anything that would remind me of the time that I spent in that apartment. There was a part of me that protested against cutting off all ties to Edward, I truly hoped that one day we would be able to be friends again, but for now, while my wounds were so fresh, I just needed to be alone. I needed to lick my wounds in private, perhaps someday I would be able to put the last couple of days behind me, so getting out of my current living situation was the best way to start the healing process.

So it was decided, I locked the door up behind me and headed down to the management office. I told them that I was definitely interested in taking the studio; they said they would have to take my information, for a credit check, and then if I qualified they would draw up the paperwork for me to lease the studio. I left my contact information for the manager, and he said that he would be in contact later on in the week.

Next stop on my list was the florist; I pulled up to the shop just as they were opening up for the day. I grabbed the bouquet and started to get out of the car. I kind of didn't want to give the flowers back, but the flowers represented a romantic union. Ever since I was little I imagined that when I got married to the man that I loved, those would be the flowers that I would carry in my bouquet. I just got rejected by the man that I loved for the past 4 years, I was in no mood to think about lovey dovey things, much less my wedding…

The bell on the door jingled as I pushed opened the door, someone called from the back, telling me that they would be with my in a few moments. I surveyed the little shop, from the outside this looked like a really small shop, but it was filled with coolers and bins and bins of flowers of all different varieties.

"Can I help you with something?"

A voice behind me brought my attention back to the front of the shop.

"Yes, I was wondering if you could help me with something, I believe that there must have been a mix-up or perhaps a wrong delivery address. These were left at my front door this morning, they still look very fresh, and I believe that you could still deliver them to the correct address. These are very expensive flowers; I hate to see them go to waste."

"Of course, let me look up our deliveries from yesterday or any that our driver may have had this morning. May I take a look at the bouquet?"

I was reluctant to give up the flowers, but I willingly handed them over to the elderly woman behind the counter. As she typed away at her computer, I turned to look at the other flowers in the shop. It had been a while since there were fresh flowers in the apartment, Alice used to bring in a fresh bouquet every week, but since she moved out, I just haven't found the time to go get some fresh flowers, maybe I would pick up some for my bedroom, it would liven it up a little maybe it would help liven up my current mood a bit.

"Miss?"

I turned back to the kind woman at the counter.

"I'm afraid that this particular bouquet was not scheduled to be delivered by our delivery service. Whoever bought this bouquet walked in to purchase this bouquet, from the looks of it, this bouquet is still very fresh like you said, I would say that someone bought this bouquet just last night."

As she was talking, someone else had walked through the door.

"Oh, Good Jessica, I'm so glad that you're here, didn't you work last night? Do you remember selling a bouquet of stargazers?"

"Oh, Yes there was only 1 dozen of stargazers left, the customer came in just as I was closing up, he said that he wanted to give them to someone special, and told me to wrap them in purple and white paper."

As the girl approached the front of the store, her voice was sounding more and more familiar. She rounded the counter, and I saw that it was Jessica Stanley. She had gone to Mount Saint Moore Academy, and was in our graduating class. We weren't that close but she and our group were mutual acquaintances.

"Jessica! It's so nice to see you! How have you been?"

"Oh, Bella Swan! It's good to see you! I didn't know that you lived around here! I haven't seen you since graduation!"

"Yes, it had been a while, how have you been?"

"Good, you know how I always loved working with flowers, now I'm going to school for my business degree, and working here so when I get my degree I can open my own shop!"

"That's great!"

"So what brings you by today? Would you like to pick out some flowers?"

"Oh, um well maybe, I actually came in to see who bought these, they were left in front of my door this morning."

"I wrapped this bouquet last night, such a coincidence, you actually know the person who bought this. I sold this bouquet to Edward Cullen last night. I was just about to close up shop, but he came in at the last moment, so I let him in to pick out the flowers himself. He said that he was picking these up for someone special. You said someone left these outside your door? Bella, he must have bought these for you!"

I was stunned. I didn't know what to think, Jessica said that Edward bought these flowers last night, but last night he said that our kiss didn't mean anything… I'm confused, everything going through my mind was contradicting itself. There was a million questions going through my head, I couldn't even contemplate what was going on. Then it occurred to me that Jessica was still talking

"From the looks of it I would say that he was going to ask you something important. Are you and Edward Cullen dating? OH MY GOD did he propose? Bella?"

"Sorry, I got distracted, um it was nice seeing you, I have to go I have some stuff that I need to do."

I turned around and hurried to the door.

"Wait! Bella! Don't forget your flowers! I'm pretty sure that you were the intended recipient, the only person that I've seen Edward Cullen so nervous about is you."

Jessica rounded the counter and handed me the bouquet.

"You might want to put these in some water soon before they start to wilt, here's an extra pack of food for the water to prolong the life of the flowers. It was nice seeing you Bella."

I nodded my thanks and dumbly made my way out to my car. I sat there in silence for god knows how long. Was what Jessica saying really true? Did Edward really buy these flowers for me? If I was really the recipient of these flowers, why didn't he give them to me last night, why were they in the umbrella bin? And if he was going to give me flowers and tell me something important like Jessica said, why did he say that our kiss didn't mean anything when I brought it up? Nothing made sense. Nothing that was happening today was making any sense. Today I was supposed to turn the page on a new chapter of my life, but with what I found out these last 20 minutes, I didn't see a reason as to why I would need to begin a new chapter of my life, my life without Edward Cullen. What did Jessica mean when she said that I was the only person that made Edward Cullen nervous? Jessica just said that she hadn't seen anyone of us since graduation, did that mean that Edward was nervous around me in high school? But that didn't seem plausible at all, Edward stopped hanging out with us towards the end of high school, he started to drift away from the crew and was always hanging around a different flavor of the moment. I started to think that Jessica was just mistaken there was no way that Edward Cullen would be affected by me…

EPOV

I kept tossing an turning in my bed, it was hopeless there was no way I was going to get any sleep, so I got up to go take a shower. As I left the room, I noticed that the apartment was really quiet; Bella must have left to run errands. Just saying her name in my head brought on a fresh wave of pain. I decided that I needed to clear my head. I turned the water on hot and stripped, the water was almost boiling hot, but it felt good pelting down on my aching shoulders. Spending all night hunched over my knees had my shoulders feeling almost as bad as my aching heart. I leaned up against the tile wall as the steaming hot water rained down on me. I closed my eyes and thought back to last night, she was staring up at me with those inviting brown eyes, but when I said that our kiss meant nothing, something in her eyes was telling me that she wasn't expecting me to say that… I thought that if I kept my emotions bottled up then I wouldn't end up getting hurt, but what I was feeling right now felt like death, if rejection felt worse than this, I would rather just die right now.

I had to get out of this apartment, I couldn't think straight. I needed to go somewhere quiet just to think, I couldn't stay in the apartment, because Bella could be back any time now and I didn't know what I was going to say to her if I saw her. I quickly got out of the shower and went back to my room to get dressed. I threw on some sweats, grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

After driving around for a few minutes I decided to head to alki beach, there was a strip of benches that faced the water, and it was usually quiet. I stopped by a street vendor to grab a steaming hot cup of coffee, I took a sip as I sat down on the bench, today was a nice quiet day, and the water seemed calm. I just sat there staring out onto the water as I tried to think about what was going to happen next with Bella and me… if I didn't tell her I would hate myself forever, but if she was already with Jacob Black, what's the point…but there was definitely something about her face that told me everything was not what I saw it to be. I felt so conflicted; I needed answers but didn't know how I was to go about getting them. I sat there for hours hoping that the sounds of the waves would somehow tell me the solution to my problems.

BPOV

Edward wasn't home, when I got back. I found a vase and put the flowers in some water, I was about to put the vase on the living room coffee table, but after a second thought I decided to put them in my room, I didn't know what Edward would think if he saw them on the coffee table, after last night I really didn't know what to think. I figured I would tread waters lightly until next week. The list of internship winners was supposed to be released and interviews would be called to make the final decisions on which internship would be awarded. I made a quick phone call to the apartment complex, the management office said that it would probably be until next week until they could get all the paper work ready, I told them that I would be in contact with them later on in the next week.

For the rest of the week I didn't see Edward. We conveniently were able to avoid each other. He left for work before I got up for the day. When I was home I spent most of my time in my room, so if Edward was home I didn't notice. I continued to cook meals and store them in the fridge. I noticed Edward eating them and washing the dishes afterward. I would see thanks for dinner written on the pad of paper we had mounted on the fridge. I would write back that food was in the fridge, and all he needed to do was re-heat. It was like we were interacting like total strangers…

A/N: Okay so I know that there didn't seem to be too much action going on in this chapter, and to those who are craving some action, I'm afraid that the next one may have some action going on but for the most part (and I'm warning you in advance, so I don't want reviews that tell me that this was a filler chapter, because this is essential to the story line) we need to build up to the "Bella getting fed up and leaving part" so bear with me on this chapter and maybe the next… but I made this chapter extra long to make up for the fact that's its kind of lacking in the action. Thanks for reading and remember to review! Oh and yes special shout outs to lauraelizabeth324, silbermond32 and iloveedwardcullen425 for listing Hot and Cold as one of their favorites! And as always thank you for everyone who has added this story to their story alert! I try to make every attempt to thank each and every one of you when I get the email stating that you've added, but if I missed you, I'm so sorry!