Wow..short chapter...I always think I'm writing a lot and it turns out it's less than 1000...anyways there will be a lot of flashbacks here and in the after chapters, which I marked **...keep a close eye...and REVIEW!!

Something called hurt

Near's POV

"Mello?" I croaked, head spinning a little, being woken by a buzzing sound. I looked around, searching for the source, then spotted Mello's phone on the desk. "Mello, your phone." I said softly, pushing his shoulder slightly, but he was to totally out. I walked over, taking the device in my hands, it was only a message, Mello could read it later. I was going to set it down, when it buzzed again, was there something so urgent, that this person had to call twice? I rubbed my eyes, trying to let the little words make sense, 'Ruby' it read. My eyes widened involuntarily. I was almost tempted to read the message but no, that would be wrong and a total invasion of Mello's privacy. I was placing the phone down when it buzzed again! I was just going to see who it was from but accidentally pressed 'open'. Darn these touch screens.

'Thx for the other night. Let's play together gain soon. XOXO. Ruby.'

'Wanna have some fun 2nite? Ginny.'

'Mels, miss u so much. Y don cha dump that fat wife of urs for a couple hours & come have some real fun. Candy."

Every word spite me like needles and thorns, but the last one especially cruel. I put the phone down, holding my hands over my mouth tightly from screaming out, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't think properly, it just hurt. I threw on a coat then unlocked the front door, letting myself out, thinking that some fresh air would do me good.

I walked on the streets, nobody was around, so it was less embarrassing, I couldn't keep it bottle up, the tears kept spilling. How horrid the feeling of betrayal. I walked with my head down, basically just crying my heart out, until I had to stop, realizing that I had walked to an unfamiliar location, that tends to happen if one locks oneself in a room all day or walk without looking, in which I have committed both. I spotted a playground across the street, I walked over, not bothering to look left and right before crossing the street, but it wasn't like there was any cars or anything.

Taking a seat on the swings, I finally stopped crying, my brain clearing up again. No, it's simply impossible, Mello wouldn't do this, he loved me, he said so, everyday. Or at least he wouldn't do it with people with names like Ruby, Ginny and Candy. I tried to reason with myself. Maybe it's just one night stands, it doesn't mean anything, does that make it better? My heart aches so badly, it hurts. Even the baby was responding, kicking quite strongly.

Every thought that ran through my head, just made it more unbearable, the words repeating themselves in my head, this is the first time I truly hated my photographic memory. I just saw it once, but all of it has been permanently engrave in my brain.

I covered my hands on my face, weeping softly. The awful memories seizing the opportunity to flood back again.

**

"Mommy, why do I have to dress like a boy?" I asked looking at myself in the mirror, I was wearing a boy's school uniform.

"Natasha, no I mean Nate, I know this is very difficult for you to understand, but mommy and daddy are doing this to keep you save." Mommy explained fixing the collar of my shirt.

"Is it because of that scary man?" I asked, remembering the tall, dark man that appeared in my former school, claiming that he loved me and wanted me.

"Yes," Mommy looked very sad, "And you remember what I told you if you ever saw him again?" I nodded, answering, "Run."

"That's right, there's a smart girl." Mommy smiled.

"No, mommy, smart boy." I smiled, understanding a little of what I needed to do.

"Oh yes, smart boy." Mommy ruffled my hair which she had to cut until it was very short like a boy's.

**

"Your mommy and daddy are so mean, look at what they did to you. You're suppose to be a pretty little girl, but they tried to make you a boy, that is unforgivable." the scary man said. I looked around not knowing where I was, but at least here the scary man can't hurt mommy and daddy anymore.

"But don't you worry your pretty little head, my little darling, I'll fix you up nicely." the scary man was becoming more scary now. He walked out of the room, I tried to turn the knob but it wouldn't open. Mommy, daddy, I'm scared.

**

"Matt! Please stop!! AHH!!"

"SHUT UP!!!"

"NnghhAHh!!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!!"

"Please! You're hurting me! AaHH!!! It hurts!! It hurts!!"

"You worthless WHORE!!"

"Please stop! Help!! N-NO! AHH!!!"

"Freakin' slut!!"

"Nghhh!…Help! Please somebody! Help ME!!"

"No…"I muttered out loud, my hands clasping on to my head, covering my ears, just wanting it to stop already. Tears brimming, staining my cheeks, I didn't bother to wipe them, everything was so painful. I couldn't close up my emotions like before anymore, now all of it came slamming at me, one called 'hurt' in particular was slamming especially hard. I was regretting opening myself up to Mello so much, now I didn't know how to deal with all these mixed up feelings, all this pain, it hurts so much.

Mello…even him..

**

"BEG ME! BEG ME TO STOP!!"

"M-Mello-Please-Aahh!!"

"STOP!! AHH!!"

"NO! Nnnghh!! S-STOP! Please.."

"Please! Please STOP!! Mm-melh-Aaahhh!"

PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!

"Mmph" and it stopped.

Poor little Near...her lives been screwed up so badly I'm surprise the kid's still sane...maybe I'll do something about it later...or maybe I should stick with happily ever after...i dunno..I really want angst...UGH!! REVIEWS!!!