Author's Note:
My sincerest apologies for the delay on uploading the next chapter of this story. Things got a little crazy IRL. Thanks for the reviews! You guys are great. I'll continue my every-other-day posting from here.
Chapter 7: Chloe Armstrong
There was an emptiness in Chloe's chest, just beneath her breastbone as she watched Matt leave. He was a good guy, trying to cheer her up even though it was completely beyond hope.
If only her mother could get the chance to meet him. That fantasy seemed even more distant since the moment the rumor had run through the ship that Rush had died on that damned planet.
She hadn't expected to feel this way about Rush. From the moment her father had died, she had blamed Dr. Rush for everything that had gone wrong. Those feelings had only intensified when he had suggested that the colonel leave her Matt on that desolate ice world. What the Hell is wrong with you? She remembered shouting at him. She'd had angry dreams of killing him herself for that offense – not that she would have actually followed through on them.
But now, Rush was gone and everything was just as bad as it had been before, maybe worse. Despite everything, she found she missed him. He had been right about so many things, saving their lives without the slightest request for gratitude. She had to admit to herself that he was probably just saving his own life. The fact that he was saving their lives too was an added bonus, a side effect. But it was easier to think of him in a softer light now that he was gone. Besides, she'd been raised to speak well of the dead.
There was so much unknown. They were suddenly without their greatest hope of getting home. Everything seemed so desolate, so very wrong.
Tears started to cascade down her cheeks again. They were going to die out here.
She had seen the colonel in passing after he'd come through the event horizon of the stargate alone. He had seemed just as stunned by the situation as they all were. Surely, he must have tried to save Rush despite their differences. Maybe he wasn't fully healed from his injuries sustained when they all ended up aboard Destiny. Some injuries like those never heal without proper medical attention. They were far from proper medicine out here. Oh, TJ did her best, but she was always the first to admit her shortcomings.
Matt was right. The corridors were silent. Everyone aboard seemed subdued, as if the gravity of the situation was only just seeping through. They had been children, looking to the one qualified person on this ship to get them home. Now that he was gone, they were going to have to grow up and get themselves home. She was a fool to think they could do it without him.
She suddenly felt very alone in her quarters and regretted that she'd practically sent Matt away. She got up, knowing he'd be in the shower room. She'd meet him there. Then he wouldn't have to come a roundabout way to the cafeteria just to pick her up for their 'date.'
She grabbed her jacket from the edge of the bed where she'd tossed it after hearing the news. She was always cold aboard this ship. Space was cold. It matched the emptiness she felt inside now that she had no one to blame.
A pang of regret hit her so hard she stopped stone still in the doorway before leaving her quarters. She clutched the doorframe to brace against the powerfulness of the sensation. She should have treated Rush better than she had. She had been so mean to him. He had deserved it, even asked for it sometimes by the way he'd acted. But she should have tried to be more kind to him. It was so easy to hate him, to let him be her outlet for her pent up rage at everything that had happened. She'd done it without thinking. She regretted it.
Chloe forced herself to release the doorframe and leave the isolation of her quarters. She needed people right now. She needed family. Matt was the closest thing she had to family on board. Eli was the next closest. He was like a brother to her – although she couldn't decide if he were her older or younger brother. It depended on the moment, she supposed. If he were being Math Boy, he was older. He was a genius when he was working with computer codes, mathematical equations, and everything that came with using Destiny's systems. When he wasn't working, he was so upbeat, so naïve, so youthful. Just Eli was definitely a younger brother.
Oh, God. Eli. How was he handling this? Rush had practically been his tutor. They had been inseparable since he'd arrived on Icarus. She'd have to check on him. He was probably feeling lost right about now, definitely the younger brother this time.
Later. Matt came first. She came first. She couldn't comfort a younger brother without first feeling comforted herself. Despite everything, Matt made her feel like their incarceration aboard this damned ship was a blessing in disguise. After all, she'd found love without even looking for it.
Lighter hearted than before, her pace through Destiny's corridors increased. She smiled wanly as she passed Vanessa James in the hall. She glanced at Chloe, nodded once in the military style, but made no attempt to return her strained smile. She realized then, that this was going to be a hard couple of weeks while the crew adjusted to Rush's absence. They would adjust, though. They would get through this. They would find a way home, even without Rush. They had to.