God, my head hurts.
That was the first thought that went through his head- the second, as he was opening his bleary eyes, was, Too... bright...
He closed them again, letting the light behind his eyes dim, then opened them again. Still too bright. Still, it was better then the last time, so he kept his eyes wide open, willing the brightness to dim. Surprisingly enough, it did.
"Whatcha doin', Shin-man?"
His mind was still addled from sleep, the shadows stretching to form... something. "A-Asuka?" He closed his eyes (In case physical violence was forth-coming).
"Ouch. Ya wound me, man. How's that a way to greet an old friend? By comparing me to the Red Devil?"
And they snapped open. "T-T-Toji!?!?!" The ethereal jock laughed at his discomfort.
"In the not-quite-flesh, man. How ya been?" He waved lazily as he floated around the Thirds head, dressed in his usual outfit.
"Good, I guess. Toji?"
"Yeah, man?"
"You... are dead, yes? As in, I didn't imagine the horrible pain and screaming and bad things, yes?" He regarded the still floating pale, rather blue friend of his.
Toji, for his part, regarded himself rather strenuously. "Yep, dead. Gone, vanished, va-moose-ked, sprung da mortal coil, deceased, ceased to be, a dead parrot, that's me."
Ah, good to know. "Umm, Toji?"
"Yeah, Ikari?" He continued to float about his head.
"You're dead," he stated matter-of-factly to the dead boy, and it sounded like he had made some great revelation for the world.
Toji nodded. "Yep, dead, gone, deceased, va-moose-ked, ceased-"
"I think I get it. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be doing... dead people things?"
"Like... floating around and goin' 'boo' at folks?" He shook lightly under a fit of ghost laughter. Why ghost laughter was so very different from regular laughter was a matter of semantics.
"Sure, that works."
"Boo," said the spirit cheekily to the boy.
Now that the matter at hand had been cleared up to his liking, he asked again, "So, why are you here, Toji?" Of course, it's not like he really wanted to know- one's best friend appearing as a specter from beyond the grave never usually bode well for... well, anyone.
"Remember? Anti-Christ? Lucifer? Hell on Earth, King of Demons, Slayer of Angels and all dat?" The ghost jock shrugged and crossed his arms. "Or did you t'ink dat I could just pop in for a visit whenever I wanted?" He laughed again.
"True. You would spy on Misato first, if it was all on you. Have you?"
"Only a little," Toji admitted. Shinji crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. "Okay, a little more then a little. But, she's, like, naked! Mostly. And drunk!"
"And you're incorporeal," Shinji reminded him none too gently.
"Piss off," Toji said sullenly. Then, he brightened up. "So, oh master of da Underworld, what shall we do?"
"Show you to Hikari? I don't know, Toji. What does an Anti-Christ do for fun?"
"Rape, murder, pillage, club baby seals?" He leaned backwards, but overshot and did an awkward back-flip, which left him upside down. He stayed there for a moment. "I dunno, man. Mess with Red? Find out what superpowers you're landed with?"
"Yeah, I guess... did you say superpowers?"
The ghost shrugged again. "Closer ta Satan-powers, but, yeah, I guess. Isn't that what an Antichrist does? Fucks around by way of being awesome and such?"
"I guess so. What do I have, though?"
Toji grinned. "Only one way to find out!"
***
The train car was empty- mostly. There were two occupants; two living occupants. One was, of course, Shinji, Anti-Christ Ordinare. The other was a girl from his school- a different class, but she knew him, or at least of him. When one pilots a giant robot of the apocalypse, word spreads as to whom is piloting it.
Either way, they sat on not quite opposite ends of the train car- the red-head in the school uniform was at one end, and he was opposite in the near-middle. They exchanged an awkward wave, but went back to their separate devices- hers was listening to music, and his was muttering to his ghost friend. "You sure?"
"Definitely, man. No pain, no game. Create, like, wind or somet'ing. Satan has to be able to do someat like dat!"
"Wind? You just want to see up her skirt!"
"I can do dat already, man. Ghost, remember?"
"True," he conceded, looking at where his friends head stuck out of the floor boards. "Alright, here goes... something," he muttered to himself. He scrunched up his eyes really hard, concentrating on the thought. Wind... wind... wind...!
He looked up- no wind, or at least none caused by him. Footsteps. "Ikari-kun? Are you alright? Do you... need to use the toilet, or something?" He really should know her name. M... something.
"Fine, thanks. Just... disappointed, is all."
She cocked her head to one side. "Why? What's wrong, Ikari-kun?"
"Something..." He looked down; Toji's face had supplanted his foot, making it feel oddly like it was under cold water. Say it, he mouthed, grinning around his mimed words. "No," he said quietly as the school girl took a tentative step closer to the mumbling boy. Toji, for his part, bent at the waist so that his feet were somewhere in Ikari's kidneys. He yelped and jumped upwards, nearly bumping into the poor girl. "Goddamnit, fine!" He pointed his finger at her brazenly. "Satan Powers ACTIVATE!!!" He watched the startled red head a moment, before saying, "See? Nothing!"
She promptly burst into flames.
Something about her waving her arms around like that set something off in the ghost- he was laughing, clutching his stomach in his ecstasy. Shinji, for his part, danced around her, trying to think of something. "Ummm, Satan Powers Deactivate!!" Nothing (Besides the poor girls screaming, of course). Damnit! He thought for a moment, then, "Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer!!!" He waved his arms up and down for good measure. A man in a pin-striped suit came in through the door, holding a well-licked ice cream cone, holding a demure look upon his face.
"You rang?" Shinji pointed at the flaming girl, who was still rolling around a little. "Yes?"
"FIX HER!" Satan waved a hand, and her breasts grew two sizes. "She's on fire!"
"So? I'm used to it!"
"I'm not! Make her be not on fire!"
"You're no fun." He waved his hand again, leaving a charred corpse which was no longer on fire. As an after thought, he snapped his fingers, and her sin and hair grew back into its proper state. Shinji noticed that her breasts remained in their engorged state. "How'd you manage that?"
Shinji rolled the girl over onto her back, holding her hand as she hyperventilated against him. "I did what Toji said!"
"Really?" The Devil held an incredulous face, when Shinji nodded, he slapped his thigh and sighed in defeat. He fished out a wad of bills and threw them to Toji, who caught them (As they seemed to dematerialize in mid-air to make due for the jocks particular handicap) with a grin plastered on.
"Sweet!" He palmed through the wad before pocketing it. "Shinji, you're great, man, dat was da most fun I've had since I died!"
"You almost killed her," Shinji admonished angrily.
"Doesn't stop me," reminded Toji, sticking his arm through the girls forehead to drive the point home.
"Point taken," said the Antichrist. "So, Satan, who do I... umm... do to not do that again?"
"Shinji, that was kind of the point of being Antichrist, remember? Hell on Earth, destruction, death, fast times?"
"True, but I'd rather be able to control them on my own. Unless I need to shout out catchphrases every time I do it," he said with a glare to the ghost beside him.
"Good point. Just stop saying 'Satan Powers Activate' and you'll be fine for now. Care if I stop by tomorrow?"
"That works, I guess." He looked down as the girl started to wake up. He cocked his head off kilter, gazing into her eyes.
Naturally, she started screaming loud enough to startle the deceased, who bounced into view with a "Hrrr-Wha' ma'?!?" This prompted her to redouble in her efforts. A window on the train cracked loudly.
"Have fun, kids!" Lucifer waved at them cheerily, then made his exit as he licked at his ice cream cone again.
***
"So... you're the Antichrist?"
"Yup." He rubbed the back of his head gingerly where she had kicked him. He didn't blame her- she was under the stress of dieing horribly, after all.
"And you accidentally set me on fire, only to call upon Satan himself to save me from certain death, yes?" He nodded meekly, and she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Cool!"
He looked at her strangely. "I set you on fire and reveal myself as the doom of humanity and you think that's cool?"
"What, I should be running in terror?"
"Yes," supplied Toji. He laughed at both of them, thumbing his nose as the girl flipped him off.
"Buzz off, buzzard," the girl said. "By the by, my name is Mana. Kirishima Mana," she said while sticking out a hand.
"Ikari Shinji," he said unnecessarily as he took the offered appendage. "Quite the meeting we've had, ne?"
"Yeah, but how many girls can say that for their first date they were set on fire!" For all that had happened to her, she seemed remarkably chipper about it.
"Really, I... date?" He took a step backwards. Toji sniggered from his perch in the luggage rack.
She stepped closer with a seductive smile. "What? Afraid of setting me on fire somewhere else?"
Terrified, actually. You're scary! "N-n-no, I-"
She lunged forward, grabbing the scrawny boy in a hug. "Good. You owe me, anyway."
He supposed that he did. Toji leered at them from the luggage rack, his legs sticking outside of the train as it rumbled to its destination.