hey guys thanks for all the reviews, im so happy im sorry if there are more mistakes than usual I am typing on a different computer and its on WORDPAD I know its really bad but I really wanted to have another update up so here it is. I hope you like....
Bella's point of view
I was sitting in Edwards's bed, in Edwards's room. The only thing missing was Edward, it felt to let it all out, and it felt food for someone to really register the extent of my pain. Me knowing he wouldn't hurt me [don't ask mw how I knew that] made me feel safe and wanted.
I know he couldn't possibly love me back, I humiliated him and his crew the dat they took me aboard their ship, the day they found out I was a girl. There was no way in hell that he could love me the way I love him....... EVER!
After Edward picked me up last night he carried me back to his room, he took me away from Emmet, and her. He held me tight, he didn't let go until he placed me on his bed. But even then I couldn't be alone, I couldn't relinquish into the nightmares.
I had successfully not thought or dreamt about Roy in over 2 years, I Kew after the encounter with Emmet earlier would bring them back, they always did. You see if iam in an inclose space, suffocating or chocking it makes me feel of all those nights HE held me down. Of all those times he tore me apart, broke through my barriers moaned in my hair. Or beat me till I was too unstable to move.
So instead of Edward dropping me on the bed as he planned I kept a firm hold of his shirt that was covered in tears and held him tightly to my chest.
Flashback
I couldn't let go of his shirt every time I closed my eyes I saw him, I saw Roy. But when I was with Edward it was like everything could just fit right, it felt natural, like I maybe could finally move on.
He chuckled lightly "you know unless you want me on top of you" I looked up in his eyes panicky stricken. He must have read my face because he quickly amended. "no, no I didn't mean it like that" he whisper yelled clearly embarrassed "I simply meant that you were pulling so hard that I might end up on top of you from your strength.
It was know my turn to be embarrassed but not enough to let go, but enough to loosen my hold on his clothing. He chuckled again. He tried to pry my hands away from him, I couldn't have that. "Don't leave me" I begged "please don't leave me" he seemed to understand my desperate need to have someone with me. He stayed with me almost all night cooing sweet nothings in my ear.
I know he was curious about my complete 180, going from confident and bitchy to desperate and needy. When I woke up in the mourn Edward wasn't there.
Flashback end
I woke up alone, no Edward, nothing not even a note explaining where he was, I mean I know I didn't deserve one, I wasn't his wife or his girlfriend but it still would have been nice for some acknowledgement.
Edwards's point of view
All night I was talking to her, trying to calm her down enough for her to get some rest. To get some sleep she looked exhausted. I had no idea what had her so spooked but I would make it my business to find out, something had happened in that water. Something not good, and someone was going to pay, no body touches my BELLA.
Bella it is such a sweet name, for such a sweet girl she is so beautiful, heart shaped face, gorgeous big eyes and a body of a goddess she is so troubled but everything about her draws me in. At first I thought I was loosing my mind, the way I saw her as a man. I thought I was turning gay.
I don't know her association with Rosalie, but I know she must have hurt MY Bella pretty bad. Mine Bella being mine it makes me feel all glittery inside. Just the Meir thought of her being with me forever it makes me want to always wear a smile.
I didn't get any sleep at all last night when I wasn't whispering in her ear, playing with her hair I was just watching her sleep, starring intently at her divine body. I had to stretch my legs so a couple of hours after dawn I rose after giving her a small kiss on the forehead and left to go find some breakfast.
I only knew three things for sure, 1) I was completely infracted rated with Bella and I would do ultimately anything to make her mine. 2) Bella has a rough past that somehow evolves Rosalie that has her spooked. 3) I was starving and hopefully when Bella wakes up [preferably after I get back] I will have a plate of breakfast waiting for her.
Bella's point of view
I had been sitting in the same position on Edwards bed for the past 10 minutes relinquishing in my embarrassment, I had spent all night crying on him. I had scared him away. Warm tears began to sting my eyes, I was mid sob when the door came flying open followed by a load "SHIT".
I looked up only to be met by beautiful large green orbs. Edward he came back, he came back for me. I know I sound completely different the person I was when I first got on this ship, but the difference was I wasn't afraid then. I am not afraid now, I am bloody terrified.
Edward looked at me in the eyes, he saw my pain, and relief. He placed the tray with…… food, hmmm food. On the desk by the bed and sat on the edge of the bed, next to me. If I wasn't so concentrated on the smell of the food I would have been hyperventilating. "Bella" my name rolling of his tongue sounded so good. "whats wrong?"
He sounded so concerned, I completely forgot about the smell of the unbelievably delicious smelling food. "I-I am fine" I stumbled over my words not because I was sad or anything but because of his meir presence, not that I would ever tell him that, he already has too much of an ego.
He took my hand in his, "please bella tell me why were you crying?" he begged, I couldn't tell him what was I suppose to say 'oh I was just crying because I thought that you left me alone, that I scared you away' yea I didn't think so.
So I took the safe root, I answered his question with one of my own. ":why are you helping me? you don't even like me" my voice sounded sad even my own ears. I looked down at the now very interesting throw rug.
"its nothing just forget it" I think he got the hint he dropped the questioning…… about why I was crying this morning. The next question was harder to lie about than the first.. "what happened last night? How do you know rosalie? Are you afraid of me?" he looked so pained, I swear I could feel his pain.
"I don't know how you want me to answer that" I couldn't bear to tell him what I had been through, I had only ever told one person EVER and It was a women, and a mother like figure. I couldn't tell him, I don't want pity.
"please, you can trust me" I knew I could trust him, but I didn't want him to know, I didn't want him to worry about me.
"about last night" I breathed " I, something about what happened reminded me of my past, something that was meant to be forgotten, something I have fought so hard to try and forget" know that hard part " rosalie is….." I didn't know what to say, I don't consider her my sister anymore. She left me, for what this, a husband that tried to kill me.
"Rosalie was…." He looked at me encouragingly "she is my sister" I blurted out "no she's not" I tried to backtrack. "She was" I amended he looked at me quizzically.
"how so?" he asked
"well she left me, she is still my sister by blood but not by my emotions, everything that has gone wrong in my life in the past 5 years has been a result in her 'death'" I finished
He looked deep in thought, as quickly as his emotions changed they changed again only this time they were horror stricken. "the man that was the captain of the ship you where on originally was your father correct?" he asked I nodded my head slowly, wondering where this was going. "so that means" he continued "we- my crew killed Rosalie's father as well" he asked, his eyes begging me to not agree with him.
After the whole time I have been here I thought of the best revenge and it was all thanks to edward. I couldn't help the large smile that crossed my face. I was going to make her pay, and I know that best way to do it.
"yes, yes you people did" I laughed evilly this is going to be good.
i had my whole plan worked out, rosalie loved my mother more than anything, maybe not as much as me but she still loved her dearly. I wasn't going to reveal ANYTHING to her just drop little hints. My mother had been dead for nearly 5 years. Shortly after rosalie 'died' my mother couldn't take the pain of her death so she did what she did best…. She ran. Only not from my family, Charlie and me, she ran from life.
Edward had left the room a couple of hours ago claiming he had 'captain juties' to attend to I knew he had but it didn't make me any happier about it. I could stare into his eyes forever. I walked up to the door of the captain cabin when I felt it. The slight pressure just above my abdomen, OH NO!
I knew this would happen but I didn't think it would happen so soon. I hadn't taken my pills in about three weeks, I hadn't attended my doctors appointment, that was scheduled for 2 months ago for my 6 month check up, father and I were in the middle of the ocean.
I was about to experience massive amounts of pain until I saw my doctor. It was going to start out like slight pressure on my abdomen, in a day or do it WILL escalate to really bad period pain, which I can handle. But days after that the pain will escalate further to stabbing pain where I cant move my legs, where the pain flows through the rest of my body causing me to be very sensitive to EVERY touch.
I couldn't die from this pain but the first/ only time I had let myself do this I couldn't eat, I wouldn't eat because of the extent of the pain it made me extra nauseous. I need carlisle, I need him NOW!
Last time this happened was just after I got out of hospital, about 5 months afterward I didn't want to have to rely off of medication, I was stubborn and stupid. I wouldn't have to be taking medication my whole life just for a couple more years, until my wounds had healed. Roy did more than just messed up my mind emotionally he stuffed my body i can still have sex and everything but when I'm mensurating and I haven't taken my medication, it makes death seem like heaven.
I sat back down on Edwards's bed, Tears beginning to form in the crevice of my eyes. I need carlisle. Only he knows how to fix this!!!!
That's chapter 5 guys!! Please don't be mad at me, I know this chapter hasn't got much action and you probably have a lot of questions please PM me with your questions if you have them I will answer them. I will update very soon.
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Mwah Emma