Emmett POV

Alice giggled, and her eyes shifted to Henry sitting in Esme's lap. "The belt isn't for Emmett … and we aren't all mated."

Suddenly, as I saw Rose rising to her feet, visions of grand-hybrids ran through my head. We all knew that Alice was seeing brief blurs of Nessie and Henry's future. We figured it had to do with her familiarity with them. Just what was Alice implying?

Rose roared as she gained her feet. "WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN?"

Alice giggled in response. "Nothing, Rose, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up."

The family breathed a collective sigh of relief. Rose continued to stand frozen as she tried to shake off her anxiety. She continued to glare at Alice, but then her face shifted and she grinned malevolently, her look promising retribution. I wouldn't want to be Alice when Rose finally dished out her payback.

Henry smiled up at Rose, as she sat back down and began arranging his gifts in front of him. I felt a moment of terror when I realized that he was about to be subjected to our own personal brand of torture. Venom filled my mouth, and I was momentarily startled to realize that I was about to jump to his defense. Jasper's head jerked toward me, and then the big jerk smiled. "Never thought I would see you being all protective, Emmett."

Carlisle's head moved in my direction; his face was a study of concern, not quite understanding the undercurrent between Jasper and I. I glanced quickly down to Henry and then back up to him. Carlisle quickly picked up my unspoken answer. His face lit with joy. Crap, he was going to start getting all emotional on me, too.

In that moment, I realized that the family had probably planned to go lightly on Henry. After all, it wasn't like he would have been able to defend himself, until just a few minutes ago. I turned back to watch him, and caught Rose staring at me. She had seen the interaction between Jasper and me, and then between our father and me. She gave me the "baby I love you" smile, and my mood improved immediately. I was back out of the doghouse, albeit unintentionally.

"Poppa, Nana, which one is from you?" Henry asked, looking up to Carlisle and Esme. Nessie began laughing hysterically on the couch behind him. While he looked up into my parents' love-struck eyes, his hand snuck around to secretly pinch Nessie's leg. She whacked him across the head. I realized I had just received a momentary glimpse of what life was going to be like around here over the next few years.

"We bought ours together. It is the one wrapped in the comics," Esme all but cooed.

Henry pulled the package over and ripped the paper off. Looking inside the box, he reached his tiny hand in and pulled out a black medical bag. The thing was almost as big as he was. The initials HJC were tooled into the leather above the brass mechanism. Henry grinned up at Carlisle and Esme. He loved going into the library to study with Carlisle. I had heard Carlisle reading to Henry for hours from the dry monotonous medical journals he received. I guess Carlisle had finally given up on getting Edward to follow in his shoes.

Henry maneuvered the lock and opened the bag. He began to reach inside and pull out various items. A digital thermometer, blood pressure cuff, stethoscope, and then something I had never seen before. It was about 6 inches long and looked like an old fashioned thermometer, the type that had the silver mercury in it. Henry held it up looking to Carlisle.

"That's from me," Esme giggled. "It's a veterinary thermometer. They're used for animals larger than a dog." Her glance then slid to Jacob as he sat on the couch. It hit us all at the same time just exactly where that thermometer would be utilized and what she was insinuating. Alice was laughing so hard she fell off Jasper's lap. A memory of an old TV commercial ran through my brain; a baby's face looking horrified, with the words "You want to put that where?"

Jacob snarled at Esme as Henry began to chuckle. "I'm not sure this is going to be long enough," he said, cutting a quick devilish look to me. Atta boy.

Between Esme and Carlisle's gifts, Henry uncovered various implements that would cover both humans and large animals.

"With this family, you have to be prepared for just about everything," Carlisle smiled as he added.

"Between my presents and Henry's, we should have you all covered, Jake," Nessie said in a very serious tone. The look on his face was priceless. I often couldn't decide who provided more comic relief for our family: Bella as a human or Jake. I was leaning more toward Jacob because he was so easy to rile. Bella had just been a klutz; boy how I missed those days. If I couldn't get my humor kicks off Vampy Bella anymore, I could tease her best friend, and future son-in-law. That thought fueled my humor even more, which brought something else to my mind.

"Not true, Nessie. We still need to get everything for the neutering process."

I knew that I had finally tipped the scales when I saw Jacob's hands begin to tremble. If he didn't realize Nessie was intelligent enough to know all about sex, then far be it from me to be kind and not utilize everything I could to mess with him.

Several things happened all at the same time. Rose snatched Henry out of the way, Jasper and Alice broke out in startled laughter, Esme grabbed the ugly gnome Edward had given her to protect it, and Jacob launched at me from across the room. Guess we didn't make it until it was "all over", as he had threatened earlier. From the corner of my eye I saw Esme put the whistle to her mouth and I knew she would use it if I got near her furniture, giving Jacob the advantage. So I met Jacob halfway and used my momentum to propel us toward the back a door and out into the yard.

Damn, he was strong, even in his human body. He slammed us into Esme's planter, shattering it everywhere as he continued to pound me. At least it was the same one I had chipped before; now I would only have to replace one. We both started laughing from the thrill of it all. After several minutes, I heard Esme hesitantly ask Carlisle if he should break us up. Obviously seeing how much Jake and I were enjoying ourselves, he murmured, "Let them be boys, Esme. At least they made it outside and off the deck."

Jacob and I each landed several more good punches before we flopped to the ground, laughing. I had held back, not wanting to hurt him, but it still felt good to tussle like this, even if I couldn't pound him like I would Edward or Jasper.

"I haven't had a good brawl like that since the last time I pissed off Paul," he laughed, clearly having enjoyed himself.

"I can't ever get close enough to Edward, Jasper is about my only hope," I responded, feeling very satisfied.

We heard a huff and looked up to see Nessie standing at the top of the stairs to the deck, with her fists on her hips glaring at us. The rest of our family stood behind her with varying looks of amusement on their faces. I saw Jake sit up from the corner of my eye, as I did the same. Then the family exploded in laughter. I wasn't clear what had brought on the new round of amusement, so I turned to Jake to help figure it out. He had several clods of dirt and pansies stuck in his short hair. I figured I looked pretty much the same. I noticed several cuts on his skin, from the broken shards of pottery, which were already beginning to heal. He resembled an Indian returning home from a war party with the dirt and blood smeared across his face.

Figuring to irk him just one more time, I copied Jasper's previous dig. I held my palm out flat to him and muttered, "How!" Jacob smirked before he landed a punch to my nose, knocking me backwards.

As we were walking back into the house, Alice nudged Jasper and said, "I'm surprised you didn't jump in." Jasper just laughed

We reassembled after Jacob and I both washed the dirt off our faces and changed. It was amazing to see that he had already completely healed, only faint lines showing where the pottery had slashed into his skin. I would never admit to him, but if I couldn't be a vampire, then being a wolf would definitely be my next choice. Even with the smell.

As Alice was moving a large box over toward Henry, she said, "This is from Edward and Bella."

Henry grinned in anticipation. Tearing into the box he pulled out a Recaro racing car seat, and a smaller package that had been wrapped and put into the box. Rose turned her head quizzically at the car seat.

I started laughing, "Rose, I'm surprised Edward's helping you out like that.

Just a few weeks prior, Charlie had nearly had a coronary when he took Nessie out to the Volvo and realized that there was no car seat present. Charlie had read Edward the riot act and threatened that if he didn't install a car seat in his and Bella's car that he was going to put him in jail and throw away the key. He couldn't have known that, in a wreck, Nessie would do more damage to the car than vice versa.

Everyone else laughed in agreement as Henry crawled into the thing, settling back nicely with the other package in his hand.

"At least he bought you one that's stylish and matches the color of your car," Alice chimed in looking at the red and black striping on the seat.

"I'm not buying it," Rose said to me, as she turned to look at Henry and the package in his hand. "Go ahead and open that one, Henry. I'm thinking Uncle Edward and Aunt Bella have something else in store for us."

Henry tore into the package and three things fell out, a toy steering wheel, a stuffed "truck", and an envelope. There was a message written on the envelope:

Henry, Sorry we aren't there to explain our gifts. Since you will hopefully be good in helping your mother to not get arrested by Uncle Charlie, we have provided you a few tools to sharpen your back seat driving skills.

Henry hit the center button on the steering wheel and an obnoxious honking sound emitted loudly. He giggled and began punching button after button, resulting in various commands such as "Hey, turn here!" "You missed our turn." "Have you looked at the directions?" "STOP!" "You're driving too fast!"

As Henry was ecstatically waving the gift in the air, a look of horror spread across Rose's face as she realized just how many times Henry would be pressings those buttons on a car trip. As his mother sat and boiled, Henry picked up the stuffed toy and looked at it quizzically. It looked like a tow truck, but it had big goofy eyes and buck teeth.

Puzzled, I turned to the others. Jacob took pity on me. "That's Mater from the movie Cars."

I was about to razz him as to how he would know this when he answered defensively. "Quil made me watch the DVD with him and Claire. It's an animated kid flick; didn't you see the commercials for it last year?"

"I don't think they advertise kid's movies on ESPN, Jacob. And since that's about the only channel I watch, I can't say I've had the pleasure," I responded.

Jasper added, "It was actually a cute movie, great one-liners."

"Maybe I should've bought you Disney movies instead of guy-cry flicks," I snorted at him. He was caught red handed.

He realized my mood and quickly said, "I accompanied your sister and wife to that movie, while you were watching baseball. You'd better rethink what you're planning."

Rosalie and Alice looked at me menacingly in his defense. I'd talk to him later about hiding behind skirts.

"It's all right, Jasper," Alice sniggered, "Daddy here is going to have plenty of time to catch up on kid movies in the next few months."

"Well, I think it's appropriate that Bella would buy Rose's son a late 50's model Chevy pickup, even if it is a tow truck," Jake said, casting a pointed glance at Rosalie.

I was intrigued because she almost looked guilty; I started wondering if there was something I didn't know. Had Rose had something to do with Bella's truck dying? Hmm… I would have to torture her tonight to find out the answers.

I wiggled my eyebrows at her in question, and she muttered, "Shut up, you big hillbilly."

I chortled in glee. She was definitely mad, which meant I was going to have a very good night. Henry took the opportunity to smack the toy in his hand and the words "Git-R-Done!" echoed throughout the room. Everyone in the room froze momentarily and then burst out laughing, as it was clear from the look on my face that that was exactly what I had been contemplating.

Clearly tickled, Henry quickly hit the thing again, to which "I'm happier'n a tornado in a trailer park" came out.

Jacob looked over at me smirking. "That brings up an interesting point. Aren't you from Tennessee? Maybe Rose could be the queen of your double-wide if you ever have to move back."

Rose picked up a pillow and lobbed it at Jacob as he chuckled at the look on her face.

"Mama, what's a double-wide?" Henry asked, looking up at Rose.

Alice answered, "Your mom's personal version of Hell."

Jasper rolled at Alice's comment. Henry accidentally hit the toy in his own glee and Mater muttered, "Now, I don't care who you are. That's funny right there."

Rose held her hand out to Henry requesting the toy. Then in frustration, she threw it back into the box the seat had come out of. A muffled, "Later, Mater" caused the room to erupt again.

Rose cursed under her breath, before regaining control and looking to Alice. "I think we should move ahead."

Henry interrupted, "Mama, wait; I think there's something in the envelope." He held it out to Rose.

She tore into the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper. A myriad of emotions, including anger, fear, and (strangely) anticipation, flew across her face. I reached over to take the paper from her and realized it was a receipt for a 2007 Honda CRF50 Dirt Bike. Edward had ordered Henry his first motorcycle. Hell, yeah - this could be really fun. I looked up to find Rose torn. I explained to the others what the order slip was for.

Edward had written at the bottom of the paper "Henry, I'm sorry your real gift didn't make it in time. I had it special ordered, and the next production will not occur until mid summer. In the meantime, please accept these other gifts, and make sure to harass your mother with them."

Rose growled as she looked at the box and the wheel still firmly grasped in Henry's hand.

Even Carlisle had a hard time getting himself under control. "I may not have missed the "open mouth, insert foot" time period, but at least I missed the annoying toy stage," he said in mock relief.

Esme turned and looked at her husband with an arch expression, "Oh, really, Carlisle? Four words: 'Emmett' and 'Dance Dance Revolution'. If I could sleep, that would have been the stuff nightmares are made of."

"The Whoopee Cushion," Jasper added, looking at me in exasperation.

"Paintball guns," Alice added. I could tell they were just beginning to pick up steam, so I interrupted, "Enough, enough …"

By now, everyone was laughing. Even Rose let out a little giggle.

Alice handed Henry a long, rectangular box. He rested the box across the arms of his new car seat, as he grinned at her. "From you and Uncle Jasper?" he asked. Alice nodded her head in answer. He tore into the end of the package and pulled out a black bag with a Bushnell label on the side.

Jasper spoke up, excitement evident in his voice. "It's a portable telescope."

Henry squealed in delight. Great. Jasper was going to teach him to be a 'mamby pamby' man. Looking at the stars; sheesh. I would much rather Jasper teach him warfare skills. I had held my tongue when Jasper had taken both Nessie and Henry out to stargaze, but buying him a telescope definitely increased the seriousness of the "hobby." Jasper quirked his eyebrow at me, obviously sensing my disquiet. Perhaps he and I needed to go outside next. He chuckled and then sent a wave of weepiness my way. I would have been crying if I could. I snarled at him before he let up on me.

"There's more," Alice said as she picked up the end of the box and shook it, interrupting Jasper and I. Two smaller packages fell out.

Henry opened the first package. Alice had bought Henry Les Propheties by Nostradamus. A book from a seer about a seer. Ha! I opened my eyes wide in question to her.

"Well, he was an apothecary," she said, cutting her eyes toward Carlisle, "and many of his visions have been declared accurate. So, I think this gift correctly represents at least two of our family members." She grinned, secretly challenging me.

Opening Jasper's present, Henry found a book on astronomy. Jasper looked at me when he sensed my annoyance spike again. "Up until the last century, knowledge of the stars was critical to navigation. In the event of technical failure, it's still a desired expertise. Nostradamus utilized his knowledge of the universe in his predictions. Knowledge is an immeasurable gift. Are you opposed to your son being given every opportunity?"

Rose started growling at me. Leave it to Jasper to make it sound like I was attempting to hold Henry back. I had stepped right into his trap, the ass. If he got me back into the doghouse, I was going to really take it out on him later. As soon as Rose turned back to Henry and his astronomy book, I narrowed my eyes at Jasper in warning. He and Jacob both started laughing, clearly enjoying the predicament I was in.

After a few moments, Henry looked up at Jasper. "Uncle Jasper, this is great. While you and daddy were glaring at each other, I was showing mom some of the constellations you've already pointed out to me."

Rose started grinning at Jasper, and he immediately began shifting in his seat uncomfortably. Alice looked at him and began laughing, having seen where this was going. She said, "Go ahead, Henry, tell everyone the ones Uncle Jasper pointed out."

Jasper grimaced at her.

Henry ignored the outburst. "Well there is Chepheus, the King; that's Poppa, of course," he said, looking over to Carlisle, who appeared stunned. "Cassiopeia, The Queen for Nana. Circinus, the compass for Aunt Alice, and Centaurus, the centaur, for Jasper." He looked over at Jasper with a smile, "I assigned that one to you myself."

He grinned before turning to the next picture page. "Scutum, the shield, for Aunt Bella, and Columba, the Dove, for Nessie because she brought peace between us and the wolves."

"Lupus, the wolf, for Uncle Jake, although we did talk about Indus 'The Indian' also for second choice. Mama is Andromeda, the chained maiden, and Daddy is Ursa Major, The Great Bear."

He looked to the group and said, "Uncle Jasper said I would have to be Ursa Minor, The Little Bear." He smiled so hard at me that his dimple appeared permanently etched into his cheek. Okay, so maybe I could live with the Mamby Pamby stuff.

"Wait, you forgot Edward, which one is he?" Jacob asked.

Jasper attempted to stop Henry before he spoke, but my little one completely ignored him. "Uncle Jasper said he would definitely have to be Cancer, the crab."

Jacob erupted into full-throated laughter just a second before we all joined him. "Crabby" what a great nickname. Possibly I should attempt to use that one on him when they returned from Chicago, maybe he would loose a little of that "control" and we could go at it.

Rose lifted the final gift; setting it in front of Henry. I heard the sound of metal rattling against metal and wondered what Jacob and Nessie had gotten him.

Excited, Henry ripped into the paper to uncover a small red toolbox. Opening the top, he pulled the first tool out and I saw Rose's eyes widen. It was a Snap-On Allen wrench. Henry continued to pick up various wrenches, sockets, ratchets, and screwdrivers. It was a nice starter kit for Henry to utilize. Rose looked up at Jake and Nessie with an unfathomable look on her face. Jake shrugged his shoulders as Nessie giggled.

"I had no clue you helped Nessie pick out tools for me. When I suggested that we buy Henry a tool set, she said 'I'll handle that part'."

"Daddy helped me pick it out, when we went to Seattle this week," Nessie explained. "I told him what you had helped me get for Jake, and that I wanted Henry to have something to work on your car with you."

"My personal addition is at the bottom of the box, and yes, I did find it at the yard sale," Jacob stated.

Henry moved the tools around and pulled out a book. He turned it to the group. BLONDE JOKES by Red C. Stangland.

Rose hissed as Jacob explained, "I thought that as soon as Henry starts reading, he could at least keep you entertained while you work on the car. I took the liberty of marking a few particular jokes for him."

Alice flitted over to where Henry was sitting and he handed the book over to her. She turned to a marked spot and began reading before she even sat down.

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walked up to the blonde and said, "Excuse me ma'am, could I please see your driver's license and registration?"

The blonde looked at the policeman angrily and said, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

Knowing that Rose was a speed demon, this was exceptionally funny. IF Rose had ever gotten pulled over, I was sure she would have charmed her way out of it, but the intent of the joke was clear.

Nessie held out her hand and Alice tossed the book to her. She looked at Carlisle with a suspicious looking grin as she turned to another page.

A blonde pushed her BMW into a gas station. She told the mechanic, "It died."

After he worked on it for a few minutes, it began idling smoothly.

She asked, "What's the story?"

He replied, "Just crap in the carburetor."

She asked, "How often do I have to do that?"

As everyone else laughed, Carlisle growled out, "Soap, young lady, I'll use soap."

Jasper gestured for Nessie to throw him the book and grinned as he turned to the next bookmark.

"What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?" He looked to the group.

Jacob started snickering before he answered, "A blonde going through a flashing red light."

Henry looked up at Jasper. "Funny, Uncle Jasper, that sounds like you trying to ride that motorcycle of yours." He pointed to Jasper's hair conveying that he too was blonde, warning him that he shouldn't be throwing rocks in a glass house.

Jasper's expression was stunned as we all reacted to Henry's quick repartee. Carlisle was smacking his knees in laughter and began to say something. Henry cut his eyes at his grandfather pointing to Carlisle's hair. My father, the person who was most likely able to come up with a good quick comeback, held his hands up in surrender. Rose smiled down at her knight in shining armor, grabbing him out of the seat into her arms for a hug.

After a moment, Rose looked up at me anxiously. I knew what she wanted to do. We hadn't really discussed how we were going to give Henry our gift. It didn't fit with the liveliness of the moment, but everyone in the room had contributed to helping us put it together. Rose had mentioned that she wanted everyone to be present, but that was before we knew that Edward and Bella were going off to Chicago. As she put Henry to the floor beside her, I walked over and pulled her into my arms whispering, "Your decision."

"Thank you," she replied adamantly, hugging me tightly.

I quickly went upstairs and retrieved the package, handing it to her before I also sat down beside them.

When Henry realized that we had sat together and that everyone was staring at him, he looked up at me, "Am I in trouble?" He did look guilty, and I wondered what I hadn't caught yet. Jasper picked up on my fear at about the same time as Carlisle interpreted my facial expression. They both snorted.

Rose answered in a soft voice, "No, Henry, we just have a special gift for you. Everyone helped put it together, so we wanted to give it to you now."

The night that Henry came to be with us, Jasper and I had gone to the apartment after breaking into the rental office. The place was crawling with police as they conducted the investigation of her 'murder,' courtesy of the phone call the wolves had made, and even a vampire couldn't have come and gone without notice.

Although we were quite certain we could get by without notice during the days that followed, Carlisle forbid our attempting a visit. Carlisle was generally pretty relaxed about most things, so when he forbade something, we didn't generally go against him. So, Jasper and I began to follow the leads that Jenks could find on Lucy, Henry's biological mother. We found her family, in Oklahoma. Through the same breaking and entering techniques I had utilized to get pictures for Alice, I collected as much as possible for Henry.

Rose handed him the photo album that the family had all worked so hard on. At first, Henry looked perplexed and I wondered if he was just too young. We had all discussed the possibly that this should wait until he was a little more mature, but Rose had insisted. Strangely enough, Rose wanted Henry to know up-front about the woman that had borne him. We knew that Nessie's first memory was being inside Bella, and she had remembered Bella and Edward from the second she was born, so we all assumed that he would be the same. Henry turned to the first page and saw the high school picture we had found of Lucy.

"She looked so much like Aunt Bella," he noted. Everyone froze for a barely perceptible moment. Unaware, he continued to flip through the few pages that had pictures. Rose reached over to grab my hand, needing support in the moment.

I looked down at him; a little ashamed that we had so little to give him, "We'll find some more as we have the time, Henry."

He looked up to Rose and me. "I remember her voice, but it was muffled."

Vampires were physically incapable of shedding tears, but the accompanying expression was unmistakable. I saw it now on the faces of the ladies in our family as they watched Henry look back down at the pages again. I wondered if his silence had to do with any other memories, perhaps of the time alone in the apartment with her body.

He softly closed the book and whispered, "Thank you. It's nice to have something of her. But I know who my mother and father are." He placed his hand on top of ours.