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Chapter Seven

The Actual Day My Heart Died

Bella POV

"Why can't you go to the movies?! We never get to go out just the two of us." I tried to make my voice slightly whiney. I felt bad about doing it, but I only had so much to work with when it came to Alice. I was hoping guilt would be one of them.

"Because Bella, Rose and me have tickets to an extremely high fashion show in Milan. It took me years to get these tickets. I've been on the waiting list before you even knew us. So don't sit there and start whining about why we didn't get tickets for you. Besides, you would have been complaining the whole time and not making it any fun, and you know it.

Alice turned away from me, and went back to folding different pairs of clothes and neatly putting them into what could presumably be one of the most expensive suitcases I had ever seen. Why did she have to do this stupid fashion thing now? Of all the times that I really needed my sister, why now? That's a good question. Why now? If this fashion show was such a big deal, Alice of all people would most certainly say something about how excited she was. Even Rosalie would at least mention it at some point in these past years. I had to make her stay somehow. Or at least...

I started again, "Well hey, when do you have to leave? Do you think maybe we could have a going away lunch? Just to hang out." To add to my dramatic, sisterly pleading, I glanced down at my feet. "I mean, I'm going to miss you while your gone. There will be nothing but the boys here. And none of them like to hang out with me except Edward."

Alice dropped the shirt she was folding and faced me. I would have thought that maybe guilt had gotten to her, but the look on her face told me otherwise.

"Bella, don't do that. I love you, but I have to get on the plane soon. Both me and Rose are running late enough as it is. And you acting like we never hang out. How many times have I asked you to go do something with me or with me and Rose. Or even with me and Jasper! Very rarely do you say yes, and even then, if there is any shopping what so ever envolved, you close up and gripe the whole time. Like I said, I love you, you are my sister in my heart of hearts, but hanging out with you or trying to get you to hang out with me, is starting to become a chore. Now if you really want to hang out, it will have to wait until after we get back. Hand me that make up bag behind you."

I stared at her astonished. That tiny black feeling in my stomach got slightly bigger after her monologue of chewing me out. I turned and grabbed the bag off her bedroom vanity and tossed it to her.

"Thank you." she chimed.

I don't think I can recall a time when Alice was like that with me. Ever. I mean, even with James, or Victoria, or the Volturi, she would get like that when she was stressed. But this seemed like this was completely directed towards me, and it sounded fishy. I say this because Alice hasn't to my knowledge, held it against me that I didn't like to go shopping. She always assured me that it was no big deal because she had Rosalie who loved shopping, and if Rosalie was busy, she always had Jasper who knew not to say a word if she dragged him on one of her shopping sprees. And to me, Alice was a very genuine person who never lied to anyone except if it was absolutely necessary. Like being a vampire. And even then, she had a hard time lying about that. She would just beat around the bush and omit truths in her answers to where she was telling the truth, just not the whole truth.

"Are you okay Alice? I mean, I didn't know that me not going shopping or whatever, meant that much. I always assumed that you had other people more than willing to go, so it wasn't that big of a deal to you. Why didn't you ever tell me?

"I'm fine Bella. Really. I'm not mad at you. I promise. You have done nothing wrong. I'm just a little stressed out, and I had had all my stuff packed for this and the weather changed the day we are going to be there, so I have to repack everything. So does Rosalie. That's why we're running late. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you.

Alice flighted over to me and hugged me tight. I wanted to believe her, but something just didn't seem right. And then another click went off in my head. What did she mean by "You have don't nothing wrong." That bugged me. I gingerly pulled away from Alice, holding on to her shoulders as I looked at her.

"Hold on. What did you mean by 'You have done nothing wrong'? Do you know something?" I started to panic a little now. "Is that why your leaving? Oh my god, it's the Volturi isn't it?!"

I could tell that Alice was trying to come up with some explanation in her head for what she had said. Something about the way she said 'you', made me feel uneasy as the tiny black hole in my stomach got bigger.

"Bella, it's nothing! I swear to it. I was referring to the airlines. They haven't been very helpful today. Since we had to repack, causing us to be late, I was hoping that they would work with me in finding another flight to Milan. Of course they were as difficult as ever, and it's just got me aggrivated. It's really nothing."

I felt a little easier. I don't know why I was suspecting Alice of conspiracy so badly.

She swiftly turned away from me, closing her suitcase and quickly zipping it shut. "Rose!! Let's go!" She picked up her belongings in one swift movement and stopped to look at me before quickly glidding out of her bedroom.

Okay. Well, so much for getting Alice alone. After all that, I wasn't sure if I was still thinking she knew something, or if I should let it all go. After I had stood in Alice's room for what seemed like a long time, I finally decided that I had had enough of the thoughts in my head, and decided to go find Edward. I was ready to go home and just be with him. I was being silly, and I needed to start thinking and doing things to distract me.

I headed for the stairs and had reached the bottom just as Alice and Rosalie were hugging everyone goodbye. Everyone was wishing them a fun and safe trip and I skipped over to say my goodbyes too. It had taken years, but Rosalie was finally starting to warm up to me without seeming forced with it. She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

I turned and gave Alice a big hug. "Please have lots of fun, and don't be shocked when I say this, but bring me a souvinier!"

We all stood on the porch as Rosalie zoomed out of the driveway and onto their vacation. We waved bye and turned to walk back into the house without a word. Everyone went back to what they were doing when it occured to me that Edward was not in the group. It had also dawned on me that I hadn't seen him or even heard him since I went upstairs to talk to Alice. I walked into the living room where Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the couch.

"Hey, have either one of you seen Edward?" I knew my voice sounded uneasy, which of course, led Jasper to look at me with concern. Over the years, I had come to appreciate Jasper. Even though I had uncanny ways of contolling my emotions, sometimes they would get the best of me, and Jasper would help me out. Also, he'd come to be more comfortable around me after the accident years ago. It was all forgotten now, and we had actually become good friends. I had two wonderful big brothers now, that I knew would do almost anything for me. Which flooded my emotions with graciousness that I had people like them in my life. Emmett was always there when I needed to rebel and have fun, and Jasper was always there for me to talk to. Granted I had Alice, but Jasper was someone I confided everything in, because it was useless not to. He already knew everythin I was feeling and he was great and talking me through things. I was truely blessed.

Emmett piped up this time. "No, I haven't seen him since he left earlier."

Edward left? He didn't even say anything. I mean, I know he doesn't have to say anything, but still. Why didn't he? I could feel Jasper's eyes burning a hole through me.

"You okay Bella?" Jasper asked me.

"I'm fine. It's just...I mean, did he say where he was going?"

Jasper and me both looked at Emmett at that point. It seemed that Jasper was just as curious as I was. "Nope. I was just coming back to the couch when he was walking out the door. I didn't bother asking him because I didn't care. I'm not his babysitter, although he might need one."

Emmett laughed at his own joke. I glanced at the front door, somewhat worried now. I had no reason to worry, but I didn't know where my existence was. I could feel my melodramatic ways, creeping up inside me. Jasper jumped up from the couch and rushed over to me. Holding my shoulders with his hands.

"Its fine Bella, knowing Edward and how much he likes to get you things, he probably went out for a sporadic gift." Jasper smiled sweetly and I could feel his magic working as I instantly felt a wave of calming emotion take over me. I took a deep breath and nodded in agreement with Jasper.

"Your right."

"Geez Bella, get a grip on it. I swear you act like you guys are joined at the hip like some sort of-"

I smacked Emmett in the back of the head before he could finish. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I'm bored here, what with Emmett's bad jokes and lack of humor." I rolled my eyes and started for the door. I had made it just outside to the porch when Jasper stopped me in my tracks.

"Bella, what's going on? I know when your not feeling right. Do you know something? Is there danger coming?" I could hear the panic in Jasper's voice. Of course he worried about danger, especially with Alice not near him.

"No, no! Jasper it's okay. I'm okay. It's just...I don't know. Yes, something isn't right with me, but I don't have any clue what that something is. I have this feeling. I'm not sure what to make of it. Some dark, black pit of a feeling in my stomach. It started out small, but it's been getting bigger and bigger. It's been bugging me. It started yesterday, when Edward came home. I heard him come in, he seemed in a bad mood. He almost acted, suspicious. I don't know. It turned out to be nothing, but then..." I looked up at Jasper. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to him about what came next. However, I knew he could feel my apprehension.

"Bella, tell me."

"God, I really can't believe I'm about to talk to you about this. Please, for the love of god, do not tell anyone about this! I am serious. Don't tell Alice, don't tell Edward I talked to you about this. This is more important that anything we have ever talked about." I paused, looking intently at him, making sure that he understood.

"I promise you Bella, I will not, nor would I, betray your trust. I understand the seriousness of this just by your emotions, so I swear on my life, this is just between us."

I took in a deep breath and braced myself for what could be one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. "Okay. Like I was saying, Edward came home yesterday after you guys went hunting. He just seemed...off. After a little while, I brushed it off, thinking maybe Emmett had said something to really piss Edward off. That's the only thing I could think of. But then, Edward came into the closet and from what I can only describe as, he sexually attacked me. And it wasn't like I didn't enjoy it. It was just that he has never been like that. There's a freaking hole in the wall of our closet! The way it all went down, just didn't seem right to me. It was so forced and aggressive. Like he was talking some sort of anger out on me during sex. And after all was said and done, we didn't speak to each other at all the whole night. He didn't even look at me!"

Jasper looked at me with nothing but concern, which made me feel better about telling him all this. It made me feel like he was on my side. Not that there was a side, it's just eased the situation.

"And then this morning, before we came over, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. Again, not saying a word or even looking at me. And I know that there isn't anything wrong with him taking a shower, but you and I both know how he is. I felt, self concious. And then to make me think more, he locked the bathroom door. He has never done that. Now I don't know about before I met him."

Jasper cut in, "No, I've never heard him or seen him lock any door. He didn't get angry once while hunting. We actually didn't do much at all. However, I sensed something wasn't particularly right with Edward either. I couldn't put a finger on it, and we both know how well Edward can control his feelings. Everything seemed fine though until his phone went off. I think it was a text message, because he didn't answer the phone at all and seemed to get aggrivated after that. He said he had to go and called it a night after that."

"Well that explains the phone." I countered.

"What do you mean?"

"While Edward was in the shower this morning, after he had locked the door, it made me start thinking all irrationally. I saw his phone sitting by the bed, and not really thinking straight, I decided to look through it." I could see the look of dissaproval in Jasper's face when I said that. "What?! I know! I told you I was being irrational and wasn't thinking straight. Anyways...when I opened his phone, it was off. Again, that was weird, I've never known him to turn his phone off. And then once it was on, there was a passcode on it. He's never done that either. So that's when I really started thinking something was wrong. See, I had thought the same thing you thought. That there was danger nearby. But then Alice started acting weird, like she knows something too. I don't know Jasper. I feel like I'm being stupid. But I can't ignore or deny that black pit in my stomach."

Jasper was looking down then. He was obviously trying to figure out things himself as well. "I'm not sure either Bella. It could be nothing. Yes, it all seems weird, but it could just be something with him. Everyone, even vampires...", he smiled to himself a little at that one, "...has some enternal issues sometimes within themselves. And sometimes it has nothing to do with anyone else. I would say midlife crises, but he's what, 125 now, 130?!" Jasper chuckled that time, as did I. I needed a laugh right now.

"Thanks Jasper. I'm glad I talked to you...again. I know I always say that."

"It's my pleasure Bella. You know I'm always here for you. So where were you heading off to anyways?"

"I don't know. I think I was just going to walk around. I'm still trying to get used to this whole never sleeping thing. It tends to get pretty boring at times, and I'm still trying to figure out things to do to pass the time."

"Okay, well if you find Edward while your out, I hope you guys figure things out."

"Thanks Jasper. I'll see you in a little bit."

And with that, I trotted down the steps and out into the woods. I really didn't have a certain direction I was going. As I walked, I thought about how thankful I was to get that all out and off my chest. I relied on Jasper more than I thought. It made me feel better. I decided a good place to go to would be Edward's meadow. I knew that I could go there and just lay down, sun beaming down on me, and relax. After talking with Jasper, I needed to just chill out for a little bit. Plus, for all I knew, Edward might be there as well.

Since I had finally decided where I wanted to go, I pulled my phone out and called Edward. I had thought that maybe I should call him before I got to the meadow, in case he wanted to be alone. Which is what I would give him if that's what he wanted. I'd do anything for him. I hit the 1 on my speed dial and listen for the ringing to start. It took a moment, but then I heard Edward's polite and simple greeting as his phone went straight to voicemail. His phone was off again? What the hell? The black pit grew bigger.

If Edward was at the meadow, I didn't care how drowned in whatever was going on with him he was, I wasn't going to go another minute without him explaining why his phone is always off now. That really annoyed me. What if there was danger nearby, and I was about to be burned at the stake and was only given one phone call before I died. His phone would be off and I would never be able to talk to him again. It wasn't right.

I had started to run at this point, when a scent stopped me dead in my tracks. Edward? He was here. Not long ago either. There was something else too. Something I couldn't pinpoint. Being that I had caught onto Edward's scent, which I was so atune to it was insane, I started to run again, it made me eager that I knew that it was leading me to the meadow. As I ran there, that other scent that I was not familiar with got stronger, more potent. I slowed my pace as I came to the meadow. If Edward was alone with his thoughts, I didn't want to startle him. I gingerly walked through the last couple of trees, where I came to the edge of our meadow.

If I had a beating heart, it would have died just now.

"Edward?"

AN: Oh nuh uh! What just happened!?! Read and review!!! MUAH!