Stephanie Meyer owns all things having to do with Twilight and it's characters.

Chapter Eight

Weakness and Pain

Edward POV

"I can't believe your doing this to me. I thought the last time was the last time. You promised me Tanya. What the hell am I supposed to do? This is getting way out of hand!"

As I pleaded with Tanya over the phone, I ran through the woods from Carlisle's house, I tried to think of what I could do. Tanya had so adamantly told me that she was coming to me. I couldn't let that happen. Bella was there. And granted I had been lucky enough for her not to find out this long, my luck was sure to run out. Bella was a intuitive person, and if given the chance, she would find this out. Thankfully Alice had let me know that Bella was going to start getting nosy and ask her about what might be going on, therefore Alice made plans to go to Milan just in time. Alice was my personal savior in all this. She had know everything. Now Carlisle and Esme knew. I wasn't planning on Esme knowing. I was hoping that Carlisle would give me some sound advice and I could end this all, with non the wiser. However, Esme did know, and I can't say that I wasn't extremely ashamed to have dissapointed my rightly appointed adopted mother. But they were right. I had to finish what what was going on with Tanya, and tell Bella everything. Even if it meant that it wouldn't work out for me.

As I got to the meadow, I sat down on a nearby boulder as I listened to Tanya's words through the phone.

"Edward, I wasn't lying when I told you that I'm not looking to ruin your life. I just need to see you, one last time. I know that you want this to end, and call me selfish, but I can't help that I've been in love with you from the very beginning. It hurts that I can't have you like she does."

" 'She' has a name, and it's Bella. 'She' is also my wife, Tanya. I seriously can't keep doing this. People are getting hurt."

"Like I said, one last time. I'm serious. Where are you? I'm almost there."

"Stop at least a mile before the drive that leads to Carlisle's. No one can know that you are here. Just get out of the car and come through the woods. You should be able to follow my scent from there to a meadow. I'll be here waiting."

I shut my phone and sat there staring at it as I held it in my hands. It was clear to me that I was a weak man. I thought that once I had found Bella, my strength would rise and I would be a new man. I was wrong. Being a vampire meant nothing, I was still as vile and typical as any human man. I can't help but regret ever meeting Bella. Not for me, selfishly I think of how unbelievably lucky I was to have met her. But for her. Yes, for her, because if I had been strong enough to not ever speak to her, to never be with her, she would have moved on. Moved on to anyone, but me. Therefore, she wouldn't be hurt by me. Something caught my attention and I took in a deep breath, breathing in the air. Tanya was almost here, I could smell her. God, she wasn't even here yet and I could smell her arousel. This woman was something else.

I stood up as Tanya approached the meadow. She took her time now, walking gracefully towards me. Tanya was indeed, beautiful. Her flawless, strawberry curls, perfectly framed an equisite face. Tanya stopped a few feet in front of me. She wore a slight smile that looked like she was both apologetic and happy. She was nervous, I could tell that much. She twitched and swayed back and forth as she stood in place.

"Edward, I-"

I threw my hand up, palm facing out towards her. "Tanya please. Everything your trying to say, you have said before. Why can't you let go? Move on."

"Pot calling the kettle black don't ya think?"

That slightly stunned me. She was right. Why the hell couldn't I be strong enough to say no even the first time? Why couldn't I let go of Tanya. She was never mine. Yes, losing my virtue to her many years ago, does make her a significant part of my life. But I thought it was a significant part that I wanted to forget. But then there was all the times after that, and then the two times after I met Bella. I know I had moved on, but for some stupid reason, I just couldn't let this shit go.

"Your right. However this does need to stop. Carlisle and Esme know now. Esme is dissapointed and Carlisle isn't too happy about it either. Do you realize what this could do to both covens if this turned badly? We have to end this now Tanya."

Tanya had walked the few feet, to where now her body was right up to mine. I could feel her breasts against my chest. I looked down at her, conflicted. "Last time."

I crushed my mouth into hers. I couldn't help myself. That was true. I knew what I was doing. And what I was doing was wrong. I could admit without a ounce of lying though, that Tanya was nothing compared to Bella. Yes, sex with Tanya was good, but making love to Bella was indescribable. And the sick thing was, ever since I met Bella, the now three times that I've been with Tanya, I thought about Bella the whole time. Even pictured that it was her instead so that maybe I wouldn't feel so bad. It didn't help.

Tanya had unbuttoned my shirt swiftly, but without breaking any buttons. She had known my rules. None of our clothes could be ripped and we had to go back looking as if nothing had happened. I paused from kissing her and lifted her shirt over her head. I quickly went back to kissing and nibbling on her neck, down to her collarbone. I grabbed a hold of Tanya's pert ass and lifted her as she wrapped her legs and arms around me. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the thought of me and Bella last night. The scene quickly played in my head, literally knocking me off guard. I accidentally let go of Tanya, even though she had landed on her feet. I paused, shaking my head, trying to get the picture out of my head.

"Dammit."

"Edward, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, let's get this over with."

"Oh geez, Edward, that was such a turn on. I don't know how I'll ever-"

"Shut up." I grabbed Tanya into my arms again and laid her down into the soft grass. I could feel the sun on my back as I kissed and licked all over her body. Grabbing and kneading what I could. Grasping her skirt, I yanked it up, shoving two fingers into her wetness. The smell of her was so strong and powerful, it flooded my mind to where I couldn't think of anything else. Slamming my fingers in and out of her folds, I reached up to my jeans and quickly released my throbbing cock from it's restraint. Pulling my fingers out, I spread her juices up and down my cock before positioning it. Everything was gone in my head at this point. I felt like an animal. An animal taking what I could. I thrust deep inside her, listening to the hiss that escaped Tanya's mouth.

"God dammit it!" I hissed as I thrust deeper into her with each buck. "Fuck."

"Oh god, Edward. Harder!" Tanya growled deeply.

"Edward?"

Without realizing at all what I was doing, I quickly turned my head towards the sound, letting out a deep animalistic growl.

And then what I saw turned me colder than ice. "Bella! Oh god Bella, no! Please, dammit!" I quickly got up, pulling my jeans up and trying to button them, but failing miserably. Oh god, this couldn't be happening.

There was Bella. Bella had found out. Bella was standing there motionless, pain dripping from her face. I saw Bella clutch at her chest, then turn and run.

"Bella wait!"

Bella POV

I couldn't belive what I was seeing. This was the last thing that would have ever crossed my mind. The only thoughts that crossed my mind as I stood there, was that everything was a lie. One, giant, horribly life altering, lie. I stood there, taken in the scene that played out in front of me. Edward, my Edward, was in our meadow. Except at this moment, he wasn't my Edward. He as a stranger, a stranger who was having sex with someone that I was never completely comfortable with. And now I realized why. Tanya was there with her stupid perfect hair, and her stupid, perfect body, writhing in pleasure under a man that was supposed to be mine. Or so I thought. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. Should I let them know that I was here? Should I turn and run, and pretend that none of this happened? Maybe I was having some horrific vampire nightmare. I mean, yeah, I don't sleep, but I could be in some weird different dimention of a daydream.

I could feel the strong lump stuck in my throat, deflecting any sound of horror that was wanting to escape my mouth. I could feel the pit of blackness had now taken over my entire body. I could feel the ache in my arms, in every inch of my bones. I hurt. I physically hurt. It was too much.

"Edward?", was all that would come out. What happened next made the pain intensify. Edward had heard me, and instead of saying anything to explain to me what was going on, a fierce, animalistic growl was thrown my direction. His eyes were pitch black with the desire he had for Tanya and what he was doing. That was all I could take. Even though I was a vampire, I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest was hurting so bad, that if human, I might be having a heart attack. My hand flew to my chest, in a desperate hope to stop the throbbing pain taking over me. I had to get out of here. Without saying anything, I turned and ran as hard and fast as I could.

After about a year, my speed decreased slightly, yet I was still able to be just as fast as everyone else. It was only because my being a newborn had worn off. But I could feel the wind harder on my face. I was running faster than I'd ever have. I knew in my head it was because I couldn't see Edward right now. I had to make sure he didn't catch up to me. What was I going to do? I couldn't go home, that would leave me alone with Edward. I really couldn't speak to him right now. I couldn't even see him after that. I couldn't go to Charlie's. He was human, and something like this would not go well there. I was not calm enough to be around him right now. I only had one place to go, but that was his family. They would take his side, and I would be left alone. Alone to deal with the lie that was my life. Click.

AN: I'm not going to lie. It pains me to write Edward as an A-hole. However, I'm highly addicted to drama/angsty stuff, so I had to endulge myself. R/R!!!