Master

"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end."

- Benjamin Disraeli

When Pakku had been a child, a mere boy, he had always known that the title 'master' was the mark of the highest respect – besides that of 'chief', which he knew, even then, was impossible for a man of his rank to obtain. When you became a master it meant that you had reached the height of your abilities, there was nothing left for you to learn. There were several weapons specialists at the North Pole, even then Yugoda had been considered one – women were not officially allowed the title of master – yet there had been very few waterbenders with the rank of master. Because of his youth, back then, he had always supposed that, technically, waterbenders never stopped learning – he would watch them training in the sparring circle throughout the day and night. He was never told of the failed missions into the Fire Nation, the men that were ruthlessly slaughtered – their bones sent back to the tribe by the messenger hawks those Fire Nation soldiers had been so fond of.

At six years old, Pakku had discovered that he could waterbend. The event itself had been an accident: he had become angry and frozen over a bowl of water. Elated, he had rushed back to his house, through the streets, to tell his parents of the news. And from that day on he knew that he wanted to become a waterbending master.

*

Pakku knows that he is not a boy any more. Soon he is going to die. He does not know when. It could be years from now. Or it could be mere months.

Even though he has lived in an ice-cold climate his whole life, he never used to wake up freezing on the inside. Now his bones ache and it hurts to move. Sometimes Katara offers to try healing his back, but he is never going to accept. Even now, when she is twenty-one years old, a part of him still sees that insolent young girl who challenged him to a waterbending duel, and lost and won in so many ways.

She is here today, as usual the Avatar at her side. These days he is taller than her, but only by a little bit. As usual, they are both smiling and laughing. At not as usual, the Fire Lord is with them.

'Hello Master Pakku.' Aang bows low.

'Pupil Aang.' He knows that attempting to bow low is next to impossible, and instead bobs his head, hoping it is sufficient.

Despite the smiles, Pakku knows that this is a charade. Something has happened, and he doubts that the news is good. He knows this for a fact because Katara never lets Aang's status become a joke. He tries to meet her eyes, and she calmly gazes back. And although she is standing still, his intuition tells her that inside, something is shaking and quite possibly broken. Why else would the Fire Lord be with them?

*

That night he finds out. Katara takes him aside, asking to speak to him privately.

'Pakku, Appa died last week.'

Appa. The giant flying bison – the avatar's constant companion.

He doesn't say anything. Maybe because there is nothing left to say or maybe because he doesn't know what to.

'He was the last original source of airbending. If another airbender arrives after Aang,' she pauses, 'then he or she won't be able to learn. We tried to make airbending scrolls but it was impossible.'

'Why so?'

Katara hangs her head. 'How do you draw a breeze when you can only feel it? How do you describe something you can't really see?'

Again, he says nothing. Then he asks a question he has been pondering all day, with no intention of actually asking it. But somehow, he does.

'Why is the Fire Lord with you?'

Katara blushes and she quickly ducks her head. 'We … ah …'

He frowns. 'Miss Katara, if you –'

Her head shoots up. 'We went on a mission together, okay? It's not what you're thinking; we went to stop slave traders in the Earth Kingdom desert. Only we weren't ourselves,' Katara stops mid-sentence, and looks as if she's trying to make a decision, 'we went in disguise.'

'Does Aang know about this?' Without meaning to, he adds emphasis to that one relatively small word that now means so much.

Katara purses her lips. 'No.'

'Why not?'

'He doesn't understand.' Katara's voice now has a bitter edge to it. He knows that she will now speak openly to him. 'He wants me to stay safe at home, away from everything that's going on right now.' The edge has now consumed her voice; it is evident that Katara is mad. 'But I never turn my back on people who need me. I want to make a difference and –'

The tent door swings open. 'Katara?'

Pakku now finds himself looking at Zuko.

'Master Pakku.' He bows, but fists one hand and spreads the other in traditional Fire Nation style. Then he straightens himself so that he stands tall. 'I was looking for Katara.'

'I suppose you were also seeking an audience with her.' Sighing dramatically, he leaves the tent. 'Dinner will be ready soon.'

*

'Katara, Aang –'

'I told him.'

'What?'

Her voice is shaking. 'He asked why you were here and I told him about the mission and now –'

'You what?'

'Zuko, I –'

'You made me promise on my honor to never, ever mention this again during my existence, mortal or spirit, and now you're announcing you just told your grandfather?'

'He thought we were having an affair or something like that! What else could I tell him?'

'Oh, I don't know, maybe I came down here with you guys because I wanted to go penguin sledding or something like that!'

Katara raises one eyebrow. 'Seriously?'

'I don't know.' Zuko shuffles his feet on the ground. Then his eyes narrow. 'But at least that way he wouldn't know!'

'Why does this have to be such a big deal?'

'You tell me!'

Katara froze, her face streaked with tears. 'We didn't do anything wrong … We were helping people …'

'Then why do you insist on keeping this a secret?'

Silence.

Of course she can't tell him the truth, no matter how much she knows that he deserves it. But trying to explain, even understand, to anybody – herself included – what goes through her whenever she's with him. When Zuko is at her side, there is no suffocation – she's free to be whoever she wants to be. Zuko's never going to stop her from being who she is. And that's the closest Katara's ever going to get to being able to explain how she feels when she's around Zuko: free.

How do you draw a breeze when you can only feel it? How do you describe something you can't really see?

AN: So yeah ... This is once again a sort of wishy-washy, it's-too-late fic. Katara has sort of fallen for Zuko, but she's with Aang and he's with Mai and now everything's one big confused mess for her. I know Zuko's feelings for Katara were pretty unclear, I wanted to keep it that way. (But if you ask me, she must mean something to him if he agreed to go on a mission together. And, yes, Katara was the Painted Lady and Zuko was the Blue Spirit, for those who didn't figure it out.)

Please review xD

Oh, and don't ask me why I started this with Pakku's POV. Or named the fic in honor of him. I have no idea.